In today’s episode I really want to explore something that I hear so often. It seems commonplace to get to a point in one’s life where we become a little bit lost and disconnected from who we are. I often ask clients ,whatever reason has brought them to come and see me, I ask them what they want. And for some this can be a huge barrier, one which sometimes we are not even be aware of and it can be quite uncomfortable to realise that, for some this will ignite the defence mechanism we have engineered whilst others may feel a little stuck and we have to work at uncovering what it is for them.
Obviously, there are those that come to me for coaching and are looking for accountability towards achieving their goals and they often have more clarity over what they want but even so we usually uncover something where they’re not quite sure why they want it, and it turns out its more of a should statement.
It’s inevitable really that overtime we become conditioned to our environment and the expectations of society and our local community. The people we surround ourselves by help shape our views but with each of the inputs coming into our world means we compromise our thoughts and even our emotions are no longer pure and we can loose sight of what is truly our own wants, needs, desires, and feelings. For those of you who are empaths you will be susceptible to taking on board other peoples feelings and emotions to a much greater depth than others. If you spend time with enthusiastic and energised people you will feel that too in a way that makes it difficult to distinguish the difference between what is their energy and what is your own. Which can certainly have its benefits but there’s also a consequence where you may take on feelings of stress and overwhelm that aren’t yours, you may feel angry and not sure why because it isn’t your anger to be felt it is someone else’s so its really important to be aware of what you take on board from others.
So, on our life journey there are many twists and turns and we enter into different relationships and we may become parents or work in different environments and different cultures and experience different things, all that shapes the way we think and inevitably we find ourselves compromising to fit in, to be part of the community. Social media is obviously another really strong influence in our lives these days but before painting it as the devil we need to remember that we have always had these external influences whether it was television or gaming or radio, and newspapers. Any form of media will shape our views and not only is it important that we are aware of the source of this information and how that shapes the messages being given but we also need to be conscious of our own identity and our own beliefs. There is only so much information that can be held in the conscious part of our brains, so every piece of information needs to be assessed as to whether it gets taken on board and our brain very quickly files it!
So, anything considered not of value is forgotten, anything not considered an immediate need is put into a store and the information is blended into what is already exists.
Stop shoulding all over yourself!
Forget what you should do. If it comes with a should then perhaps you shouldn’t!
Email me at: clare@happyacoach.com
DM @happyacoach
Music by LemonMusicStudio
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