In today’s episode, I'm discussing the transformation from chaos to clarity that sobriety brings. I share how sobriety helped me find an anchor in what seemed like an unfair life.

For many of us, alcoholic behaviors removed the colors in our view of the world, painting everything as bleak and dismal. I remember feeling like life was fundamentally unfair, a perception heavily tinted by my own actions, and yet I believed I deserved every bad thing that happened to me. Isolation became my overprotective shield, keeping me from asking for or accepting help. But in doing so, I was just making life harder for myself.

In sobriety, I realized I didn’t have to navigate life alone. Submitting to the process was tough; it felt like giving up the independence that I clung to out of fear—fear of abandonment and rejection. Recognizing a power greater than myself was pivotal. It shifted my perspective from seeing everything and everyone as a threat to understanding that I could trust others and be part of something bigger.

I share a story from my college days to illustrate the irrational thoughts I was acting on—I call it the tale of Rachel 1.0, a version of myself that I no longer identify with, but one that taught me valuable lessons about who I was as an active alcoholic.

What does sanity mean to you?