In this episode, we speak with Helen, whose daughter, AnaRose, was stillborn 17 years ago. We learn about how this experience shaped the way Helen navigates the world, how it transformed who she is, and how she sees herself now. We will also hear from Anya, a registered clinical counselor, to learn how grief impacts us overtime. Together, Helen and Anya share how stillbirth changes us forever.
Episode Notes:
Butterfly Run Vancouver perinatal loss support group
Anya Mostrenko – registered clinical counselor
(mailto:anyamostrenkocounselling@gmail.com)
Become a Butterfly Run race day volunteer
Bereavement box: a box used for storing mementos that may be personalized with the baby’s name, picture or some other design element. Bereavement boxes can provide a special place to keep memory aids. Contact your local hospital to speak with a social worker if you are interested in donating items for a bereavement box.
“Grief is like the ocean”, quote by Vicky Harrison
Compound grief: also known as cumulative grief; occurs when several losses pile up over one another.
Ambiguous loss: when a baby is stillborn, parents and family members may struggle for years to find out why the baby died, if answers even exist. Surviving siblings may grieve a baby who died before they were born. Society may dismiss stillbirth as an invisible death, yet the grief parents and families experience after a stillbirth can be lifelong.
Mourning rituals: ways of honouring your child such as taking pictures, making molds of their hand and foot prints, and/or saving a lock of their hair.
Continued bonds: connection that extends beyond the life of a loved one. Examples of continuing bonds include using your baby’s name in stories, keeping a journal about them, wearing jewellery, or visiting places that remind you of them.
Self activism: the sense of empowerment that follows a loss as one seeks to change the world around them for the better. Some examples include raising awareness of, and reducing the stigma around stillbirth, advocating for improved care for the bereaved, and offering support to
other bereaved parents.
Complicated grief: ongoing, heightened state of mourning that keeps you from healing. Symptoms may include: intense sorrow, emotional pain, and rumination over the loss of your loved one.
“You don’t know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice”, quote by Bob Marley
Stillbirth Happens – let’s talk
(http://www.bcwomens.ca/health-info/pregnancy-parenting/stillbirth-newborn-loss)
Glossary
Placental abruption: The placenta is a round organ that forms in the early part of pregnancy in the uterus. It supports the growth and well-being of the pregnancy in a number of ways through its connection to the developing baby through the umbilical cord. Placental abruption occurs in 1 in 100 people when the placenta separates from the wall of the uterus too early,
before the baby is born.
Hemorrhaging: The loss of a lot of blood in a short period of time. This can occur for various reasons during pregnancy and childbirth. Bleeding may happen internally (inside the body) or externally (outside the body).
Hemorrhaging from placental abruption: Placental abruption may cause hemorrhaging.
D&C: Dilation and curettage (D&C) is a procedure to remove tissue from inside the uterus through the cervix.
Low iron levels from hemorrhaging: It is common to have low iron levels after a placental abruption with hemorrhaging. When this happens you may feel weak, short of breath or lightheaded.
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