What we think is happening versus what is actually happening.
What we think we should do and what we actually need to do.
We think we this is what is happening:
Experience a circumstance
Attachment System Triggered
Take Action
What is actually happening:
Experience a circumstance
We have a thought
a. I'm not good enough/ they don't love me/ they are going to leave me
Attachment System Triggered
We have an uncomfortable emotion
Then we take action to FEEL BETTER
BUT WHAT WE NEED TO DO
Experience a circumstance
We have a thought
a. I'm not good enough/ they don't love me/ they are going to leave me
Attachment System Triggered
We have an uncomfortable emotion
STOP . PAUSE . Show yourself compassion
Of course this is what is happening, our brain is giving us a lot of negative thoughts creating lots of negative emotions,
Now pause... feel your emotion... label it ... label how does it feel, what vibrations do you feel in your body...
NOW feel it, allow yourself to just sit with the fear/ rejection/ overwhelm
These are just negative emotions, nothing has really gone wrong our brain is just feeding us a lot of negative thoughts creating a lot of uncomfortable emotions.