Doctors have more experience than most with navigating the end of life. Yet when illness and death come close to home, their well crafted distance and objectivity no longer covers all the bases. As Martha Calihan faced the end of her husband's life, she had to learn to be both doctor and wife, retaining her powers of critical thinking in helping him making medical decisions and her powers of empathy and connection for him as wife. What changed in the process was her relationship to both death and what comes after, deepening her understanding of her world and her beliefs.