Permission to Love with Jerry Henderson

Jerry Henderson

How do we find the permission to love ourselves? How do we give ourselves permission to fully and deeply love others?


Conversations on love, spirituality, and how we can holistically heal our relationship with ourselves and with others. Learning together as a community to  move from shame to self-love, transform trauma, and overcome addictions.


You can transform your relationship with yourself. You can live a life where you fully love and accept yourself.


About Jerry,


“When I realized I was the source of my own suffering, I realized I could also be the source of my own healing.”


Jerry is a writer, speaker, and coach who helps people discover how they can transform their relationship with themselves through the power of self-love.


For over four decades, he carried the painful scars and effects of unhealed trauma and shame. After almost losing everything, he went on a journey to discover how he could heal his own life.


He now shares the lessons he learned about awakening to love, identifying and removing the barriers to love, and the practices that can transform our core beliefs and rewire our systems. We can give ourselves permission to love ourselves.


New episodes of The Permission to Love Podcast come out every Monday.


To learn more about Jerry, find additional resources, or submit a topic or question, check out: www.jerryhenderson.org



You can also connect with Jerry on Instagram: @jerryahenderson

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Health & FitnessHealth & Fitness

Episodes

How to Practice Radical Self-Kindness
3d ago
How to Practice Radical Self-Kindness
Can radical self kindness be the key to your healing journey and if so, how do we practice it?In this episode, we celebrate one year of the Permission to Love podcast as well as discuss the practice of radical self-kindness, exploring why it's crucial for healing and self-love. Thank you for being a part of this podcast for the last year. This podcast would not be possible without you the listeners.I am so grateful that you’re here and are a part of this community. I look forward to another year of going on this journey with you as we discover how to heal our relationship with ourselves by giving ourselves the permission to love ourselves.In this episode we discuss how self-kindness can rewire our nervous system, counteract self-abuse, and promote genuine self-compassion. This episode is filled with personal anecdotes, practical exercises, and thought-provoking insights to help you embark on your journey towards radical self-kindness.Key Points:1. Introduction to Radical Self-Kindness:    * Radical self-kindness as an essential practice for healing and transformation.    * The role of self-kindness in rewiring the nervous system and transforming shame.2. The Impact of Self-Abuse:    * How years of self-criticism and harsh judgment wreak havoc on our well-being.    * The necessity of replacing self-abuse with self-kindness as an expression of self-love.3. Personal Journey:    * My personal experiences with resistance to self-kindness.    * My journey of understanding that punishment is not corrective and that it is love and kindness that are the true corrective forces.4. Overcoming Resistance to Self-Kindness:    * Common objections to self-kindness and addressing feelings of unworthiness.    * Challenging the belief that one’s mistakes or flaws make them undeserving of kindness.5. Healing Through Kindness:    * How self-kindness helps us relax in our own presence and fosters self-acceptance.    * The importance of creating a safe environment for self-examination and healing.6. Practical Steps to Practice Radical Self-Kindness:    * Journaling and self-inquiry to understand when and why we are unkind to ourselves.    * Replacing unkind behaviors with kind actions and supportive self-talk.    * Treating oneself with the same kindness and understanding one would offerYou are worthy of your own love,JerryMy New Book:Returning: Meditations and Reflections on Self-Love and HealingTransformational Coaching:Learn More Here!Support the Show:My Patreon PageHow is your relationship with yourself going?Get your free-self assessment guideWatch On YoutubeWebsite:www.jerryhenderson.orgSupport the Show:My Patreon PageTrouble Sleeping?Sleep ResetGet Your Free Weekly Healing Tips!Free Guided Self-Love Meditation:Get it Here!Website:www.jerryhenderson.orgInstagram: ...
Is Forgiveness Necessary For Healing?
May 13 2024
Is Forgiveness Necessary For Healing?
Do I have to forgive someone in order to heal? I get that question a lot. In this episode I hope to provide some answers to that question as well as others. When we understand that forgiving someone is about us and not about the other person  our entire perspective on the subject of forgiveness will dramatically shift. Forgiveness is ultimately about us and the choice is always ours. It ultimately is about releasing energy from our system and freeing ourselves from that energy that is only harming us. 0:00 - Introduction to Forgiveness in Healing4:02 - The Consequences of Unforgiveness5:02 - How Unforgiveness Traps Us Emotionally and Physically6:11 - Understanding Why We Resist Forgiveness6:45 - Common Reasons for Holding Onto Unforgiveness7:37 - Misconceptions and False Empowerment in Unforgiveness8:57 - Unforgiveness as a Defense Mechanism9:24 - Holding Grudges Against Those Who Have Passed10:13 - The Dilemma of Forgiving to Honor Pain11:28 - What Forgiveness Is Not: Dispelling Myths13:41 - The Pressure and Misunderstanding Around Forced Forgiveness14:13 - Forgiveness and People-Pleasing in Toxic Relationships15:33 - Clarifying What True Forgiveness Entails16:24 - Forgiveness as Personal Healing and Release17:47 - Practical Steps Towards Genuine Forgiveness18:49 - Making the Decision to Forgive and Its Impact20:17 - Exploring the Benefits of Choosing Forgiveness21:13 - Shifting Perspectives on Forgiveness22:19 - The Importance of Intention in Forgiveness23:30 - Letting Go of Emotional Baggage Through Forgiveness24:33 - Healing the Original Wound to Enable Forgiveness25:09 - Implementing Forgiveness in Daily Life26:12 - The Ongoing Practice and Rewards of ForgivenessYou are worthy of your own love,JerryMy New Book:Returning: Meditations and Reflections on Self-Love and HealingTransformational Coaching:Learn More Here!Support the Show:My Patreon PageHow is your relationship with yourself going?Get your free-self assessment guideWatch On YoutubeWebsite:www.jerryhenderson.orgSupport the Show:My Patreon PageTrouble Sleeping?Sleep ResetGet Your Free Weekly Healing Tips!Free Guided Self-Love Meditation:Get it Here!Website:www.jerryhenderson.orgInstagram: ...
How to Grieve What Trauma Stole From You
May 6 2024
How to Grieve What Trauma Stole From You
Have you ever stood in the shadow of your own unmet potential, feeling the weight of the person you might have been if ltrauma hadn't left its mark? This is a reality many face, and in our latest podcast episode, we journey into the process of grieving what trauma stole from us as a way to journey  into deeper healing. Together, we confront the raw emotions of anger and rage that emerge from the unnamed sorrow we carry. We look at practical writing exercises that can be powerful tools for recovery. We will examine how to craft letters that articulate the deep-seated grief of what we might have become without the trauma we experienced. We also  celebrate who we are today and learn how to see the beautiful qualities about who you are now. Yes trauma stole so much from so many of us and we need to grieve that. And as we grieve we can  also learn to see, fully love, and accept who we are now. And it is from that place that we can start walking into the all the beauty right now in this present moment. 0:00 - Introduction: The Impact of Unresolved Grief0:59 - The Concept of Grieving Potential Selves3:55 - Healthy Grieving vs. Staying Stuck in the Past4:39 - Understanding and Initiating the Grieving Process5:36 - The Dual Nature of Grief: What Wasn't Given and What Was Taken6:26 - Exploring the Five Stages of Grief Related to Lost Potential7:57 - Practical Steps to Grieve Who You Might Have Become8:51 - Exercise: Writing a Letter to Your Future Self10:12 - Exercise: Writing a Letter to Your Present Self12:02 - Moving Towards Acceptance and Letting Go13:28 - Celebrating the Person You Are Today14:20 - Final Exercise: Recognizing Your Current Strengths and QualitiesYou are worthy of your own love,JerryMy New Book:Returning: Meditations and Reflections on Self-Love and HealingTransformational Coaching:Learn More Here!Support the Show:My Patreon PageHow is your relationship with yourself going?Get your free-self assessment guideWatch On YoutubeWebsite:www.jerryhenderson.orgSupport the Show:My Patreon PageTrouble Sleeping?Sleep ResetGet Your Free Weekly Healing Tips!Free Guided Self-Love Meditation:Get it Here!Website:www.jerryhenderson.orgInstagram: ...
How Being Present Helps Us Heal
Apr 29 2024
How Being Present Helps Us Heal
In this episode we discuss how to discover the transformative power of the present moment to heal your relationship with yourself and how being present can help heal your nervous system. Whether you struggle with being present, feel overwhelmed by life's demands, or seek escape through distractions, this episode is tailored to guide you towards profound self-healing and acceptance.What You'll Learn:The Importance of Presence: Understand why embracing the present is crucial for healing and how avoiding it can hinder your progress.Why we avoid being present: Why it is important for us to understand how not being present is serving us. The Benefits of Being Present: Three Ways Being Present Helps Heal Our Nervous SystemAcceptance Techniques: Explore methods to foster self-love and accept your true self, by being present. Mindfulness Practices: Simple, actionable strategies to enhance mindfulness and maintain presence in everyday life.I know how transformational the practice of being present has been for me. I hope you find the same benefit in practicing being present as a part of your healing journey.0:00 - Introduction to the Healing Power of Presence1:31 - The Impact of Being Present on Self-Healing5:17 - Why We Avoid Being Present and Its Consequences6:01 - The Three Primary Reasons We Avoid Ourselves6:40 - The Negative Effects of Avoiding Presence7:29 - What Does Being Present Mean?8:28 - The Present Moment as the Only True Moment9:29 - The Immediate Benefits of Practicing Presence10:16 - Techniques for Becoming Present in Daily Life11:32 - How Being Present Transforms Our Emotional Health12:09 - The Role of Observation in Healing12:35 - Breaking the Cycle of Negative Self-Talk13:39 - Calming the Nervous System Through Presence14:05 - Overcoming the Initial Challenges of Being Present15:07 - The Question That Can Bring You to the Present15:54 - Recognizing Safety in the Present Moment16:38 - The Healing Break Provided by Presence17:41 - Disconnecting from Past and Future to Embrace Now18:44 - Teaching the Nervous System to Recognize Current Safety19:40 - Gaining Perspective and Making Rational Choices Through Presence21:04 - How Presence Clarifies Feelings and Decisions22:15 - Investigating the Root CYou are worthy of your own love,JerryMy New Book:Returning: Meditations and Reflections on Self-Love and HealingTransformational Coaching:Learn More Here!Support the Show:My Patreon PageHow is your relationship with yourself going?Get your free-self assessment guideWatch On YoutubeWebsite:www.jerryhenderson.orgSupport the Show:My Patreon PageTrouble Sleeping?Sleep ResetGet Your Free Weekly Healing Tips!Free Guided Self-Love Meditation:Get it Here!Website:www.jerryhenderson.orgInstagram: ...
How to Accept AND Change Yourself: Chasing Normal
Apr 22 2024
How to Accept AND Change Yourself: Chasing Normal
There is a place where you can fully accept yourself and have your self-development/self-improvement come from the place of self-acceptance.Self-acceptance is a much more healthy and powerful energy to come from as we work to improve ourselves. Have you ever struggled with being on a never ending treadmill of self-development. Would you like to learn how to accept yourself while you are also practicing self-development? If so then this episode can be a great resource for you. In this episode, we explore the dynamic between self-acceptance and self-development. We discuss how embracing our current selves does not preclude growth and improvement. This episode contains helpful insights, personal reflections, and practical advice aimed at helping you cultivate a healthy balance between accepting who you are and striving for personal growth. What you will learn:The definition and importance of self-acceptance and how it differs from complacency.The positive aspects of self-development and how to pursue growth without self-judgment.Practical strategies for cultivating a life-giving approach to personal development.How to recognize when self-improvement efforts might be causing more harm than good.0:00 - Introduction to Self-Acceptance vs. Self-Development0:06 - Are You Chasing a "Better" Version of Yourself?3:11 - The Never-Ending Treadmill of Self-Improvement4:36 - Understanding the Value of Self-Development5:59 - Balancing Self-Acceptance with the Desire to Improve6:51 - Exploring Radical Self-Acceptance9:06 - Why Accepting Current Realities is Crucial10:30 - The Role of Self-Acceptance in Personal Growth13:05 - The Continuous Journey of Self-Acceptance14:48 - Signs that Self-Development Might Be Going Awry17:38 - The Trap of External Validation in Self-Improvement20:02 - The Importance of Being Present and Self-Acceptant22:12 - Why There is No Final Destination in Growth24:28 - How Future Self-Perception Influences Current Self-Acceptance25:35 - Practical Tips for Healthy Self-Improvement29:45 - Setting Realistic Goals in Self-Development31:17 - Free ResourcesYou are worthy of your own love,JerryMy New Book:Returning: Meditations and Reflections on Self-Love and HealingTransformational Coaching:Learn More Here!Support the Show:My Patreon PageHow is your relationship with yourself going?Get your free-self assessment guideWatch On YoutubeWebsite:www.jerryhenderson.orgSupport the Show:My Patreon PageTrouble Sleeping?Sleep ResetGet Your Free Weekly Healing Tips!Free Guided Self-Love Meditation:Get it Here!Website:www.jerryhenderson.orgInstagram: ...
How to Stop Feeling Like You Need to “Fix Yourself": Chasing Normal
Apr 15 2024
How to Stop Feeling Like You Need to “Fix Yourself": Chasing Normal
Do you always feel like you need to fix yourself? Do you feel like there is something wrong with you, and if you just keep working on yourself, then you will finally feel "normal" and be able to accept yourself?The feeling that we need to fix ourselves is often a response to trauma and something we developed as a way to stay safe. In response to the painful things we were experiencing, we began to believe that if we could find something about ourselves to "fix," we could then prevent the abuse or pain. The challenge is that this feeling that we need to fix ourselves got wired into our systems, and now we struggle to let go of it. In this episode, I share how you can finally get FREE from the feeling that you need to fix yourself.As you listen to this episode, you will discover:1. Why you always feel like you need to fix yourself.2. Trauma and its impact on feeling like there is something wrong with us that needs to be fixed.3. Why trying to fix yourself for others never works.4. Why trying to fix yourself is an illusion.5. How to let go of trying to fix yourself.6. How to see the beautiful person you are right now.7. A simple mindfulness exercise to let go of the belief you need to be fixed.I hope this episode helps you in your healing journey and opens your eyes to see how you have never been a problem that needs to be fixed.You are worthy of your own love,JerryMy New Book:Returning: Meditations and Reflections on Self-Love and HealingTransformational Coaching:Learn More Here!Support the Show:My Patreon PageHow is your relationship with yourself going?Get your free-self assessment guideWatch On YoutubeWebsite:www.jerryhenderson.orgSupport the Show:My Patreon PageTrouble Sleeping?Sleep ResetGet Your Free Weekly Healing Tips!Free Guided Self-Love Meditation:Get it Here!Website:www.jerryhenderson.orgInstagram: ...
There is Nothing Wrong With You: Chasing Normal
Apr 8 2024
There is Nothing Wrong With You: Chasing Normal
Have you ever felt like you are chasing after trying to be normal? Do you carry a nagging feeling that there is something wrong with you? Are you always looking for something in your life that needs to be fixed?I carried that feeling for over 40 years, and in this episode, I share how I got rid of those thoughts and feelings.This episode is the first of three episodes on the topic of "chasing normal." In this first episode, I start the series by helping you understand that nothing is wrong with you. I know you often feel like there is, but the truth is that there has never been anything wrong with you.In this episode, we will look at the following:1. How trauma is the origin of that feeling2. How that feeling has tried to keep us safe.3. How you can let go of that feeling 4. An exercise to practice for ongoing healingI hope by the end of this episode; you will see that there has never been anything wrong with you and can begin to see the beautiful person that you are right now!You are worthy of your own love,JerryMy New Book:Returning: Meditations and Reflections on Self-Love and HealingTransformational Coaching:Learn More Here!Support the Show:My Patreon PageHow is your relationship with yourself going?Get your free-self assessment guideWatch On YoutubeWebsite:www.jerryhenderson.orgSupport the Show:My Patreon PageTrouble Sleeping?Sleep ResetGet Your Free Weekly Healing Tips!Free Guided Self-Love Meditation:Get it Here!Website:www.jerryhenderson.orgInstagram: ...
How to Treat Yourself Better!
Apr 1 2024
How to Treat Yourself Better!
Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship that you have. Why? Because your relationship with yourself is determines everything else in your life.When was the last time you asked yourself how your relationship with yourself was going? How long has it been since you took an honest look at how you are treating yourself?This episode and the companion self-reflection tool is designed to help you do exactly that. I invite you to take time over the next 30 days to reflect on the five key indicators of a healthy self-relationship.How you think about yourselfHow you feel about yourselfHow you talk about/to yourselfHow you act toward yourselfHow you allow others to treat youThis episode and the self-reflection tool is designed to help you become aware of how you are treating yourself in each of the five areas and then begin healing that part of your relationship with yourself.At the end of each week, you will have the opportunity to reflect on lessons learned, areas that need improvement, and adjustments you might need to make to your “one thing” goals.By the end of the 30 days, you will have gained new insights into your relationship with yourself and clarity on what you need to do to have a healthier relationship with yourself.You can have the life you want, and it starts with healing your relationship with yourself. I am excited for you and cheering you on as you go on this journey.I am grateful you are here,You are worthy of your own love,JerryMy New Book:Returning: Meditations and Reflections on Self-Love and HealingTransformational Coaching:Learn More Here!Support the Show:My Patreon PageHow is your relationship with yourself going?Get your free-self assessment guideWatch On YoutubeWebsite:www.jerryhenderson.orgSupport the Show:My Patreon PageTrouble Sleeping?Sleep ResetGet Your Free Weekly Healing Tips!Free Guided Self-Love Meditation:Get it Here!Website:www.jerryhenderson.orgInstagram: ...
How to Have Healthier Relationships Through Self-Love
Mar 11 2024
How to Have Healthier Relationships Through Self-Love
Do you wonder why you seem to keep choosing toxic relationships? Are you stuck in unhealthy relationship patterns? Do you make promises to yourself about how you will “never” allow someone to treat you "that way" again, only to find yourself right back in the same situation again and again?If any of the above resonates, this episode is for you. In this episode, we will examine how loving yourself is the key to having healthy relationships.As you heal your relationship with yourself through self-love then four things will begin to happen:1.Your “chooser” will begin to heal2.Your “tolerator” will begin to heal3.Your “attractor” will begin to heal4.Your “needer” will begin to heal I hope that by the end of this episode, you will see that the greatest gift you can give yourself and others in relationships is to first love yourself. “I can do nothing for you but work on myself...you can do nothing for me but work on yourself!” – Ram DaasYou are worthy of your own love,JerryMy New Book:Returning: Meditations and Reflections on Self-Love and HealingTransformational Coaching:Learn More Here!Support the Show:My Patreon PageHow is your relationship with yourself going?Get your free-self assessment guideWatch On YoutubeWebsite:www.jerryhenderson.orgSupport the Show:My Patreon PageTrouble Sleeping?Sleep ResetGet Your Free Weekly Healing Tips!Free Guided Self-Love Meditation:Get it Here!Website:www.jerryhenderson.orgInstagram: ...
Yoga and Meditation for Healing
Jan 22 2024
Yoga and Meditation for Healing
Have you ever wondered how yoga and meditation can help with healing from trauma? I'm so grateful to have my wife, Agatha, join me for this episode. Agatha spent six years studying yoga and meditation in India.  She is a certified yoga and meditation instructor with thousands of hours of training and teaching. In this episode, we discuss:- How yoga and meditation were such important parts of Agatha's healing from childhood trauma and other painful life experiences. - How can yoga help calm our nervous systems?  - How can our breath help us reconnect with ourselves?   - How to live "off the mat"- A guided meditation led by Agatha.We both hope this episode can be helpful in your healing journey,JerryContact Information for Agatha:Email:namaste@akshayoga.comWebsite:https://www.akshayoga.comInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/aagathaahPodcast: Mindful Souls 101Resources:For yoga and meditation:https://www.akshayoga.comhttps://yogananda.orghttps://www.headspace.comhttps://insighttimer.comhttps://theyogainstitute.orgAgatha's Recommended Reading List:The Yoga Sutras of Maharishi PatanjaliThe Bhagavad GitaAutoBiography of a Yogi - Paramahansa YoganandaYoga for Better Living - Agatha Figueiroa HendersonBeyond Codependency - Melody BeattieCodependent No More - Melody BeattieIf you have a loved one who struggles with alcoholism: https://al-anon.orgYou are worthy of your own love,JerryMy New Book:Returning: Meditations and Reflections on Self-Love and HealingTransformational Coaching:Learn More Here!Support the Show:My Patreon PageHow is your relationship with yourself going?Get your free-self assessment guideWatch On YoutubeWebsite:www.jerryhenderson.orgSupport the Show:My Patreon PageTrouble Sleeping?Sleep ResetGet Your Free Weekly Healing Tips!Free Guided Self-Love Meditation:Get it Here!Website:www.jerryhenderson.orgInstagram: ...
Anxiety And Inner Child Work - A Conversation With My Therapist
Jan 15 2024
Anxiety And Inner Child Work - A Conversation With My Therapist
In the final part of our conversation, Lisa and I discussed how to connect with our emotions and understand what they are trying to tell us. As well as how to connect with our inner child for emotional healing. When was the last time you truly listened to what your anxiety or depression was trying to tell you? As I sit down with my therapist, Lisa, we peel back the layers of emotion to reveal the hidden messages within. This episode offers an enlightening perspective that invites you to shift the way you view these feelings, seeing them not as adversaries but as allies, signaling the need for self-care. Together, we navigate the uncomfortable but necessary process of completing emotional cycles that trauma may have interrupted, charting a course toward genuine healing and personal growth.Growing up, we crafted survival strategies and carried self-blame into adulthood, often without realizing their origins in our childhood experiences. At the heart of our discussion lies the impact of these early traumas and their ongoing influence on how we perceive the world. Lisa guides us through understanding the crucial link between our adult selves and our inner child, shedding light on negative beliefs that may be holding us back. Embracing the practice of nurturing our inner child, we embark on a path to authenticity, self-awareness, and freedom from the shackles of the past.You are worthy of your own love,JerryMy New Book:Returning: Meditations and Reflections on Self-Love and HealingTransformational Coaching:Learn More Here!Support the Show:My Patreon PageHow is your relationship with yourself going?Get your free-self assessment guideWatch On YoutubeWebsite:www.jerryhenderson.orgSupport the Show:My Patreon PageTrouble Sleeping?Sleep ResetGet Your Free Weekly Healing Tips!Free Guided Self-Love Meditation:Get it Here!Website:www.jerryhenderson.orgInstagram: ...
How Curiosity Helps You Heal - A Conversation With My Therapist
Jan 8 2024
How Curiosity Helps You Heal - A Conversation With My Therapist
Curiosity can completely change the energy on how we approach our healing process.Come join Lisa and I as we discuss how curiosity can be a key factor in opening our hearts and helping us heal. This is part two of a conversation with my therapist about trauma, shame, and healing. In this episode, we discuss: - When Lisa and I first connected- Addressing the problem not just the symptom- Challenges with finding a good therapist- Curiosity in the healing process- Sitting with uncomfortable feelings. - Allowing discomfort as a part of healing. - A special offer for listeners/viewersWhen I first connected with my therapist, Lisa, I had no idea just how transformative her unique approach to trauma would prove to be for me. In this series we reflect on our own paths through pain and the empowering role therapy has played in rediscovering our worth, a conversation that promises to resonate deeply with anyone who's ever felt lost in their own story. Our candid discussion serves as an invitation to listeners to embark on their own healing process, one gentle step at a time. If you would like to work with Lisa as a therapist or coach, you can contact her by email at greenlisa5164@me.com We hope this episode serves you on your journey of returning to yourself! You are worthy of your own love,JerryMy New Book:Returning: Meditations and Reflections on Self-Love and HealingTransformational Coaching:Learn More Here!Support the Show:My Patreon PageHow is your relationship with yourself going?Get your free-self assessment guideWatch On YoutubeWebsite:www.jerryhenderson.orgSupport the Show:My Patreon PageTrouble Sleeping?Sleep ResetGet Your Free Weekly Healing Tips!Free Guided Self-Love Meditation:Get it Here!Website:www.jerryhenderson.orgInstagram: ...