The brilliant comedian Dane Baptiste (Mock The Week, Live at the Apollo, BAMOUS) has been pushed to therapy by years of supporting Arsenal. So let's see how he holds up when he joins us to read ex-Arsenal and Southampton hero Theo Walcott's 2011 classic 'Growing Up Fast'. Written when he was just 22, we find out all about Theo's World Cup 2006 disappointment, the time Arsene Wenger chucked chewing gum at the dressing room, why Theo likes to put pants on his head and call himself 'The Underwear Bandit', and a truly, truly shocking revelation about the England team's post-match routine under Sven. Plus the time Theo went on All Star Mr & Mrs with Robin Gibb, and Dane on the golden age of instant noodles.

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