The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

Sara Bybee Fisk

Welcome to the Ex Good Girl Podcast! I’m Sara Bybee Fisk, the Stop People Pleasing Coach. If you feel exhausted from constant people pleasing and perfectionism, and you are ready to stop but you don’t know how, this podcast is for YOU! I will help you learn to stop making other people comfortable at your own expense. I can show you a roadmap you can use to train yourself to stop abandoning your own desires and let go of the fear of what others will think. If you are ready to stop pretending everything is fine, get out of the cycle of doubt, guilt, and resentment AND step into a life of power and freedom, I can help!

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Health & FitnessHealth & Fitness

Episodes

Episode 64: How I Created a Secure Relationship With My Husband
May 1 2024
Episode 64: How I Created a Secure Relationship With My Husband
I am so grateful to have a secure relationship with my husband, but it wasn’t always that way. Earlier in our relationship, I was terrified of being left by him, and I built myself an armor of hyper independence and dishonesty. I pretended to be ways I wasn’t to stay safe and “belong” with him. This lack of safety and insecurity in our relationship, I eventually realized, existed because I wasn’t safe with myself, and it wasn’t until I learned to create that safety with me that I could start to create safety in our relationship. When I did learn to become secure in myself, I was able to see more clearly what needed to change in our marriage, and I had the strength to ask for that change. In this episode, I talk about how I learned to create security with myself and how from there, I began creating security in my marriage and all my relationships. For those of you who are, like I was, feeling stuck in a painful relationship, I hope this episode will give you some clues into your own process of creating security in yourself first and in your relationships second. I can’t wait for you to listen, and I’d love to hear your thoughts when you do. Find Sara here:https://sarafisk.coachhttps://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!
Episode 63: Writing Your Way Back to You with AshMae Hoiland
Apr 24 2024
Episode 63: Writing Your Way Back to You with AshMae Hoiland
I’m incredibly thankful for Ashmae Hoiland for creating such an engaging conversation this week. Ashmae is a talented writer, painter, and maker.Ashmae’s upcoming essay collection, Letters to a Leaving Mormon, will be released on November 1, 2024. Ahead of its release, we wanted to speak about how writing- one of the most ancient practices of humankind- helps us to better know and understand ourselves.Because of all of the programming we get through school and what constitutes “good“ writing, many of us are hesitant to write. We often believe that we have to write in a manner that will please someone when they read it, or share stories that are inspiring or happy. Writing can feel perforative and hard, especially when we are doing it for someone else. Writing doesn’t have to be that. Writing can be an exploration of dark places, confusion, loose ends- it doesn’t have to be pretty. You don’t need to tell a story for posterity — you need to tell it for yourself.I’m very excited for you to listen.Find AshMae here: https://www.Ashmae.comhttps://www.instagram.com/birdsofashmae Find Sara here:https://sarafisk.coachhttps://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!
Episode 62: Acceptance is the Path to Power
Apr 10 2024
Episode 62: Acceptance is the Path to Power
We have this idea that acceptance means approval, that if we accept when something goes wrong—when a boundary is crossed, when someone disappoints us, when we get rejected—we’re saying it’s okay. When this is how we define acceptance, we avoid it; and when we avoid acceptance, we reject reality. We avoid processing our unmet expectations; we avoid the grief that comes with unmet expectations; and ultimately, we keep ourselves stuck ruminating on what should have been. When we don’t accept what is, we use up all our energy thinking about the reality we can’t control until there’s no brain space left to think about the reality we can control. We tend to fear that accepting the reality of a situation means accepting our powerlessness to it, but when we think about it differently, acceptance actually becomes the thing that gives us our power back. That’s why I want to share my new definition of acceptance with you. I hope this will help you reclaim your power when unmet expectations leave you feeling powerless. Can’t wait for you to listen! Find Sara here:https://sarafisk.coachhttps://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!
Episode 61: How Working on My People Pleasing is Honoring Me with My Grief with Elizabeth Hester
Apr 3 2024
Episode 61: How Working on My People Pleasing is Honoring Me with My Grief with Elizabeth Hester
Today I have Elizabeth Hester joining me on the podcast. She’s a current member of the Stop People Pleasing group coaching program that started back in January. She’s a mother, teacher, and lifelong student. She’s also the owner of multiple UPS stores in North Carolina. She’s been processing her grief from the loss of her husband in the ways that work best for her. Grieving goes hand in hand with people pleasing- it’s all about getting comfortable with uncomfortable feelings. While in the group program, she’s learned how to stop apologizing, how to say no, and how to respond when strangers ask her about her husband. Grief teaches you to acknowledge how short life is and not waste time people pleasing anymore. Can’t wait for you to listen. Find Sara here:https://sarafisk.coachhttps://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!
Episode 60: Exploring Non-Traditional Relationships with Kimberly Mathis
Mar 27 2024
Episode 60: Exploring Non-Traditional Relationships with Kimberly Mathis
I’m so grateful for my guest Kimberly Mathis and this week’s fascinating conversation. Kimberly is a queer therapist-turned-general life coach with an ADHD brain who helps people change what feels unchangeable. She teaches her clients how to make their own decisions and navigate difficult relationships - including the one they have with themselves. She works with clients 1:1, loves sharing her work and life with her community on Instagram, and hosts a podcast called, "Decisions Change Everything." Healthy, respectful relationships can come in many forms. Traditional Western society pushes a heteronormative narrative about what makes a “successful” relationship- where longevity is valued more than quality. It IS possible to explore attractions and relationship dynamics in ways that are healthy, respectful, and respect your autonomy and someone else's. Communication is key, along with being vulnerable and tolerating discomfort. Can’t wait for you to listen.  Find Kimberly here:https://www.kimberlymathis.comhttps://www.instagram.com/thekimberlymathis/https://www.facebook.com/thekimberlymathis Find Sara here:https://sarafisk.coachhttps://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!
Episode 59: Transparency as a Woman in the Self-Help World
Mar 20 2024
Episode 59: Transparency as a Woman in the Self-Help World
I want to have a conversation with you about the tension in this self-help marketing space so that you know where I’m coming from. I want you to know what my values are and I want you to know what I'm striving for. I want you to look at the lens of your own values through the products that are being marketed to you, because it is relentless. Making informed decisions about the self-help industry is so essential. Marketing can be misleading. We’re blamed for our problems and then sold products to fix them. There’s a multi-billion dollar industry backing the narrative that we need more. We need that one thing or ten things that might make our lives easier and happier. I’m here to tell you that you don’t need some fabricated form of healing made by society. Healing is feeling like you have the support and opportunities you need to make meaningful change happen in your life. Take care of yourself. Can’t wait for you to listen.   Find Sara here:https://sarafisk.coachhttps://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!
Episode 58: Stories from Inside Stop People Pleasing Group Coaching Program
Mar 13 2024
Episode 58: Stories from Inside Stop People Pleasing Group Coaching Program
This episode features conversations I did with four current participants of my Stop People Pleasing group coaching program: Natalie Hagwood, Elizabeth Sherman, Kelly True, and Gini Ewart. I hope that by hearing their stories, you're inspired to see what is possible for you, and take a little peek into some of the things that I teach. When each participant joins, I ask them the same questions about their experience. I feel like it helps potential participants to see firsthand accounts of how the program worked for others. We talk about what the program’s been like for them, the hesitations they may have had at first about joining, what has surprised them the most about the process of uncovering their people pleasing, what tools from the program have been most helpful, and what they would tell someone who’s thinking about joining. After you listen, if you want to practice some of the same things I’ve taught in the program, use the link in the show notes to get added to my free Facebook group. On March 25 - 27, I’m going to be doing a free 3-day challenge to teach you how to say no, or whatever it is you’re avoiding saying - and not die. In 3 short, practical sessions, I’ll teach you what you need to know. Then on April 1st, we’ll get together for a bonus free coaching session to cover what the experience was like for you. I hope to see you there! Find Sara here:https://sarafisk.coachhttps://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!
Episode 57: What If Your Marriage Was A Tool For Liberation? with Maggie Reyes
Mar 6 2024
Episode 57: What If Your Marriage Was A Tool For Liberation? with Maggie Reyes
Maggie Reyes is a wonderful marriage coach who I had the honor of having as a coach myself. Maggie helped me get to another version of my marriage that has been just so delightful. She has a podcast called “The Marriage Life Coach Podcast.” Maggie’s double-certified as both a Life Coach and a Sex, Love and Relationship coach by two of the most innovative thinkers and teachers in the self development industry: Brooke Castillo and Layla Martin. She also graduated from The Life Coach School (LCS) in 2012 as Certified Professional Life Coach. Back in the day, marriage used to be a business transaction. Now, we're flipping the script and finding liberation through our relationships. We can be the leaders of the relationships that we want to have. Ask yourself: "If we were equal partners, what would that look like?" Say to yourself: "I matter." Feeling freedom of expression in our relationships is essential.Can't wait for you to listen.Find Maggie here:https://maggiereyes.com/https://www.instagram.com/themaggiereyes/https://www.facebook.com/TheMaggieReyesDownload Maggie’s Free 5 Power Questions Every Woman Should Know : https://learn.maggiereyes.com/powerquestions Find Sara here:https://sarafisk.coachhttps://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!
Episode 56: How To Advocate For Yourself in a Medical Setting with Sara Hughes Zabawa
Feb 28 2024
Episode 56: How To Advocate For Yourself in a Medical Setting with Sara Hughes Zabawa
This week, Sara Hughes-Zabawa LCSW, CDWF joins me to talk about advocating for yourself in a medical setting. Sara is a therapist, licensed clinical social worker, Certified Daring Way™ facilitator, yoga instructor, & wellness coach. She’s passionate about helping clients thrive as they enhance the quality of their lives through fostering improved awareness, insight, skill-building, and quality education and resources. She also has first-hand experience with self-advocating in medical settings. Health issues leave us vulnerable. We're so used to deferring to an authority figure that rather than asking the hard questions, we often stay silent. Advocating for ourselves can be challenging but it's so beneficial to learn how. We have a right to be treated with integrity. If you need guidance and support, look for a patient advocate. Can’t wait for you to listen.Find Sara H Z here: https://sarahugheszabawa.com/https://www.instagram.com/beinginbalancewellness Find Sara here:https://sarafisk.coachhttps://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!
Episode 54: Grief is Part of the Process
Feb 14 2024
Episode 54: Grief is Part of the Process
Grief plays a big part in the journey to stopping people pleasing and perfectionating. It's the death or the changing of a former life- a former way of seeing the world, a former way that we used to relate to each other in relationships, a former way that we used to be rewarded and recognized. It comes up a lot in my group coaching program, Stop People Pleasing, and in my work with individual clients. As we change for the better, we lose parts of our past, sometimes including relationships. We create new boundaries and ways to function which don't always align with the dynamics in our life. We should never have to hide or pretend to stay in relationships. If you’re experiencing some grief during this process, I hope this episode is helpful for you.  Find Sara here:https://sarafisk.coachhttps://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!
Episode 53: Imposter Syndrome with Kori Linn
Feb 7 2024
Episode 53: Imposter Syndrome with Kori Linn
In this episode,  Kori Linn and I discuss Imposter Syndrome. Kori is a life and career coach as well as the host of the Satisfied AF podcast. She helps clients, listeners, and social media followers create more satisfaction & delight in every area of their lives. Imposter syndrome points the finger at individuals and burdens them with being “better” or improving. It burdens the marginalized individual with changing so that they can fit the system without criticizing the system. People socialized as girls and women are literally trained to have imposter syndrome. We're socialized to second guess ourselves, be polite, and not to brag. Unwinding imposter syndrome starts with asking, “What are your perspectives of yourself and what would happen if you treated yourself with confidence?” Can’t wait for you to listen.Find Kori here: https://www.korilinn.comhttps://www.instagram.com/korilinnhttps://www.facebook.com/korilinn.careercoachGet Kori's Satisfaction Audit here:  https://tinyurl.com/satisfactionaudit    Find Sara here:https://sarafisk.coachhttps://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!
Episode 52: Let's Talk about Infidelity with Andrea Giles
Jan 31 2024
Episode 52: Let's Talk about Infidelity with Andrea Giles
This week I’m joined by Andrea Giles. She's a certified life coach and has a podcast called “Heal From Infidelity”. Andrea helps women sort out the confusion, grief, fear, doubt, and frustration that comes when infidelity (as well as other forms of betrayal) occurs in their marriage. Today we talk about our life stories and what got us here. We’re both on healing journeys and were part of similar religious worlds. Andrea shares her story of loss, dating, and parenting. Vulnerability and validation can make betrayal or being betrayed complex and tricky. People override their integrity for the feeling of belonging by stepping outside their marriage or partnership, and people pleasing contributes to the damage. We can work at this self-deception. Can’t wait for you to listen.Find Andrea here: https://www.andreagiles.com https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/https://www.facebook.com/Andreagilescoachinghttps://andreagiles.com/podcast/ Find Sara here:https://sarafisk.coachhttps://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!
Episode 50: The Power of a Consult with Laura Sully
Jan 17 2024
Episode 50: The Power of a Consult with Laura Sully
For this episode, Laura Sully joins me to share her experience having a consult with me. Booking a consult with me is the best way to start your journey with stopping people pleasing. When you start working with me, I’ll give you tools that are immediately useful in your life. Then we’ll get into processing emotions and dive deeper into the roots of people pleasing in your life. After working with me, you’ll see yourself in a completely new light and will be able to move through your days confidently. Your authentic self will start to show up everywhere, and your relationships will feel safe and connected. It all starts with booking a consult. Don’t forget to check out my 24-week Stop People Pleasing Program which is open for enrollment through the 26th of January. You can find more info on my Instagram. Find Laura's podcast here: https://open.spotify.com/show/5fJOJm6EXYD17FdDv24XLz?si=MM5nd_GCSq2C4EbaURQ6Ow Find Sara here:https://sarafisk.coachhttps://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!
Episode 48: Food and People Pleasing with Elizabeth Sherman
Jan 3 2024
Episode 48: Food and People Pleasing with Elizabeth Sherman
Elizabeth Sherman joins me this week to discuss midlife and the changes women experience on different levels. Humans socialized as women experience emotional, physical, and mental changes as they get older. Health should be the overall goal but our society's ways of thinking mess that up. Diet culture and the patriarchy are such negative influences. Food and emotions co-relate - we have to learn to listen to ourselves. Have the snack you want, then unpack why you wanted it and are leaning into certain comfort behaviors. Are you paying attention to you, or are you too busy worrying about others' thoughts, feelings, or reactions rather than being present with yourself? Increasing awareness and loving yourself can improve all aspects of your life.Find Elizabeth here:https://www.elizabethsherman.com/https://www.instagram.com/elizabeth.sherman.coachhttps://www.facebook.com/totalhealthbyelizhttps://www.facebook.com/groups/8basichabits Find Sara here:https://sarafisk.coachhttps://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!