It's not fair!

Deconstructing Gaslighting™

Oct 11 2022 • 54 mins

Are you in a situation where your main gaslighter is an ex that you share custody of your kids with? Do you, like Sarah’s guest today, struggle with co-parenting with someone who is actively still trying to gaslight you and/or your kids? Join Sarah as she has as “on-the-fly” semi-coaching session and help her guest receive some validation, support, and a few tips.

Sarah shares about an epiphany she had a few weeks ago regarding her 12-week course – If you were to start the course the week of Oct 24th, you will get to a strategic part of the course JUST IN TIME for the holidays! You will have a whole new set of information to take into those often difficult family situations; you will have sooo many ways to be able to tell when gaslighting attempts are happening, and therefore, you will have so much more power to not engage in them! Also, you will have fresh eyes on things that will give you very powerful insight to carry into the remainder of the program. Read more about that here.

Word of the day: The word of the day today is EXPECT. Oxford Languages defines expect as: regard (someone) as likely to do or be something. At first glance, you might not think that expect or expectations would be a word connected to gaslighting, but it certainly is! One way in when we realistically/fairly SHOULD be able to expect another person, because of their role, to do or be something (like a mature, contributing co-parent), and the other person uses a variety of of gaslighting tactics to convince us that our expectations are Unrealistic. Sarah and her guest have a fantastic conversation around this experience.

The guest today is Sally.

Story Time: Sarah and Sally talk about the struggles Sally faces as she learns how toco-parent with an ex who continues to gaslight both her and her children.

Deconstruction Zone: Sarah deconstructed things as she and Sally talked “on the fly”.

Set Your Alarm: Since Sarah did things on the fly today, she wanted to remind you of some of the things she said to Sally that can help you set your alarm, too:

  1. Pay attention to undermining behavior by your co-parent – ESPECIALLY love bombing that ignores boundaries you have requested and/or agreed upon.
  2. Try to not gaslight your kids as you are trying to reassure them – you’re not responsible for painting your ex in a “good light”.
  3. Validate your child’s experience while with the other parent – get curious with them and help them process – especially that this is not about them/it’s not their fault.

Sarah is inviting YOU to come have a conversation with her like she did today with Sally. You can be anonymous and safe, while feeling the power of sharing your story and helping others who are going through something similar to you. You can begin that process today by going to HERE!

Thank you for listening to today’s episode.  If you found it helpful and want to help get it in the hands of more people who could benefit from it, please leave a review and subscribe. Additionally, if you can think of one person in specific who could benefit, please share it with them.

And remember – it’s not about becoming who you want to be, it’s about awakening all that you already are!

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