Could "The Legend of Tarzan" possibly swing any further from the tree of its classic source material? That's the vine Dan and Tony are shaking this week as we unpack the jungle of issues plaguing this cinematic misadventure. Join us for a romp through the tangled underbrush of this film's narrative missteps, from Tarzan's questionable life in England to those CGI critters that couldn't fool a two-year-old. Get ready for a ride that's part critique, part comedy, and entirely unfiltered.

Let's address the elephant in the room—or should we say the hippo? Tarzan's animal buddies might be on the CGI side of unbelievable, but nothing beats the head-scratching action sequences and a certain character's newfound hobby of rosary-slinging. And while we've got a soft spot for Samuel L. Jackson trying to save the day, even he can't rescue this film from its own narrative quicksand. So, what's more realistic: Tarzan's raw egg diet or Alexander Skarsgård's abs? We're placing our bets.

Wrapping up, we take a potshot at the film's attempt to be a sequel without giving us the original, like serving dessert before the main course. We'll leave you pondering whether Tarzan's jungle call should be a signal for help or just a sign to switch off the TV. Whether you're here for our take on the king of the jungle or simply crave a hearty laugh at the expense of Hollywood folly, we've got you covered!

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Dan: @shakybacon
Tony: @tonydczech

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