CONTENT WARNING: improper use of yogurt. This may sound like a joke, but I assure you, it is not.

Happy Valentine's Day/Happy Discount Chocolate Day Eve to all!

Today, I bring you two stories: one of the inspiration behind one of Beethoven's most enduring works, and one of a man who saw America spread out in front of him and thought "WHY CAN'T THEY JUST STOP HAVING SO MUCH SEX WITH EACH OTHER?!", and with a specialized kitchen and sanitarium in hand, he worked hard to make Americans... well, less hard.

This... is the story of Corn Flakes.

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