MEDIATION, HOSTILITY, AND EMOTIONS EP 111

HOST: Beverly Price, Divorce & Empowerment Coach

GUEST: Ellice (Lisa) Halpern, Founder/Principal Mediator, Little Falls Mediation

SUMMARY:

The divorce process can be challenging, triggering a torrent of emotions that range from fear, grief, loss, sadness, and anxiety to anger and frustration. In such trying times, effective mediation can serve as a vital lifeline, offering a safe space to express your feelings and concerns without descending into hostility. Mediation provides a structured platform for open communication and negotiation for fairness, enabling spouses to work through their issues with the help of a neutral third party. By addressing the underlying emotions and grievances constructively, mediation strives to pave the way for amicable resolutions and, in the process, helps ease the burdens of separation, preserves relationships, and fosters a sense of closure and healing. In this episode of Her Empowered Divorce, your Host, Beverly Price, talks to Ellice (Lisa) Halpern, Founder/Principal mediator of Little Falls Mediation. Together, they discuss mediation, hostility, and emotions to provide you the tools to navigate your divorce journey with stability, control, grace, and resilience.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• What does mediation look like when done the right way? The most important thing about mediation is to empower you to have control over the process and the outcome.
• There are four prompts for Mediation: Identify the issue, pick an issue and brainstorm all kinds of options, evaluate those options by asking questions and doing reality testing, and come to a joint decision.
• How do I identify a great mediator vs. a not-so-great mediator? It depends on what you are looking for, but check if they are certified by your state, if you are comfortable talking to them, and if they have the qualities you want, such as kindness, rapid response, and confidence.
• I want my mediation results to be fair. In mediation, you have the flexibility you don’t have in court. In court, the judge gives an order, but in mediation, you can negotiate what is fair to you.

NOTABLE QUOTES:

• Acknowledging your emotions during meditation will empower you, create a legitimate sense of control and fairness, and create the opportunity to preserve the relationship. (Ellice)
• Making mediation a business-like transaction, putting those emotions aside, and viewing it as a neutral business transaction is not easy, but it can be done. (Beverly)
• Mediation is not therapy, but it does not ignore the emotions; you are allowed to pause, take a break, get a drink, and choose whether you want to continue or not. (Ellice)
• The cornerstone of meditation is disclosure and confidentiality, and it’s voluntary, so if someone does not want to share financial information, they are not a candidate for mediation. (Ellice)
• Mediation can be a tool used in situations of domestic violence, but when there is abuse, a lawyer can help you in a better way than mediation. (Ellice)
• It’s important for you to have professionals you can consult with, whether it’s a lawyer, divorce financial neutral, tax person, parenting coordinator, therapist, divorce coach, or real estate professional, who can guide you along the way with your mediator. (Ellice)

ABOUT OUR GUEST:

Ellice (Lisa) Halpern launched Little Falls Mediation in early 2015 to help private clients who approached her to mediate issues related to marriage, separation, and divorce, as well as business and community matters. Little Falls Mediation