Her Empowered Divorce Episode 105

COERCIVE CONTROL AND ITS IMPACT ON WOMEN AND CHILDREN.EP 105

HOST: Beverly Price, Divorce & Empowerment Coach

GUEST: Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, Coercive Control Advocate, Educator, Researcher, and head of Survivor Coercive Control Consulting, LLC

SUMMARY:

Coercive control is a form of domestic abuse that exerts power and control over victims, leaving lasting scars, especially on women and children who are the most vulnerable. This insidious pattern of behavior involves manipulation, isolation, intimidation, and surveillance, where abusers seek to dominate every aspect of their victims' lives. For women, this can lead to a profound erosion of self-esteem and independence, trapping them in a cycle of fear and dependency. Children who experience or witness coercive control within their homes can suffer from emotional trauma, which can affect their well-being and development. In this episode of Her Empowered Divorce, your Host, Beverly Price, talks to  Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, Coercive Control Advocate, Educator, Researcher, survivor, founder, and CEO of Coercive Control Consulting, LLC. Together, they discuss what Coercive Control is, how it manifests in real life, and its impact on women and children.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• What is Coercive Control? Coercive Control is harm inflicted on all humanity; it’s all about exalting power over a person, and the most vulnerable are women and children.
• Coercive Control in a relationship encompasses many things, including psychological abuse, legal abuse, financial abuse, sexual abuse, use of the children, and separation abuse.
• Are there characteristics of an abuser that we could look out for? Yes, definitely! Alarming love, excess check-in talks and texts, using your vulnerabilities, lack of true authentic relationships, and not liking your friends.
• Whether you stay or leave an abusive partner, there is no shame in it, but when you stay, you should always keep “a clarity list” with you to remind you of the pattern of behaviors so that whenever you are in doubt, you don’t diminish your pain.

NOTABLE QUOTES:

• Just like all of us fall into line very quickly when we think someone has power over us, people in intimate relationships also fall into line and follow what they are expected to do. (Marie)
• The number one indicator of being in a relationship that is ‘Coercive controlling’ is when someone uses your vulnerability against you. (Marie)
• All domestic abuse is Coercive Control; however, when someone exerts power and control physically, this is the most violent and deadly form because when you leave, the person can see it as abandonment, and they have to get revenge. (Marie)
• Victims and survivors are the strongest people there are. (Marie)
• If someone is trying to exert power and control over you, they are not healthy, and if they are doing that to you, they are most certainly doing it to your children. (Marie)
• We all need to heal, and we need a trauma-informed therapist to support us, but if they are not informed about Coercive control, they can diminish victims' experience, which is problematic, especially for children. (Marie)

ABOUT OUR GUEST:

Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW, a college professor teaching social work for the last 20 years, has been a social justice advocate since the age of 19, volunteering for a local domestic violence/sexual assault agency. She is a Founding Member of the International Coercive Control Conference and a Board Member of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, actively supporting codifying coercive...