In this episode, I talk about that undeniable pull that some individuals have. I share some stories from my youth, recent experiences, and a story of one of my girlfriends.
I have a theory some people are just born with game. To drive this point home, I share stories of a kid I knew in elementary school and a boy I nannied while I was in college. These boys had the it-factor and it was undeniable as early as fourth grade. They were confident, but not arrogant.
"Game" is almost never used as a female connotation. I do think as we get older, the term is less about confidence and potentially more about arrogance.
I've maybe met a couple of guys with game as an adult. I enjoy a little game of flirt and fun. When it's lacking, I feel like dates feel too buttoned up and more business than pleasure.
John Denver, a guy I dated,  had a little bit of game. He was quit witted in texts. He was pretty good at banter and flirting. He was adoring and complimentary. He was a bit spontaneous and impulsive. When we were together, he opened doors, held my hand, and called me pet names. He was direct. The opposite of having game is playing games. You know, being coy - not responding to texts, waiting to call, being unavailable.
I have a girlfriend who I think has a lot of game. She's bold, sexual, direct, funny, and flirty. She made a joke about her husband not having game. I love how she explained him. She said, "My husband doesn't have game. He has manners."
Next, I share a story of a guy from my home town who somehow managed to sleep with a bunch of girls and he got most of them pregnant. He has several baby mama's and I don't really know how or why. My friend knows a very similar guy with eerily similar features. These two average guys make us wonder what it was about them that attracted women without even having to try. We decided it was their reputation and track record with women that made other women want them.
I think the different facets of game are interesting:

• sex appeal
• confidence
• it-factor
• button pushers
• plays coy
• don't have to try
• mysterious

In conversations with my friends we tended to agree that men who have a really strong "game" often are the ones who hurt us. It's sad but true. I share how I've been hurt by these guys and also how I've used my "powers" for evil rather than good. "Game" can be used in smart and sexy ways or to manipulate and hurt.
I think people with a good amount of game do these communicate well ( I go into great detail about this.) I tell a story of a guy I was interested in years ago after my first divorce. He complimented features about me that I was insecure about - my hair and my hands, etc. I felt like he was being insincere and not honest compliments.
I share another story of a coffee date. On our first and only date, he revealed to me that he had a nose job. It caused some issues in his previous marriage. He wanted to know how I felt about it. I told him I wasn't bothered by it and thought he looked great. As we continued to discuss cosmetic surgeries, I got the feeling maybe what he really wanted to know was if I was open to altering my own body. This was pre- boob job...
I think a common denominator of game is the ability to make someone feel special in a sincere and honest way and be able to verbalize it without restraint. To me, good game is sexy, fun, sincere, genuine, honest, and played with good intention.