Big dog Stony Tinsilvester gives us the 411 about what it's like to protect Santa and how life brought him there. Big dog Cranky Little Wh*re wants to raise awareness of the sorts of services provided in the basements of Motel 6s and 7s.  Big dog Pinocchio returns to the show to share more of his patented sad-sack-ery. Watch  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@welcometoearth_podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@WelcomeToEarth_Podcast Socials Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast  Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin  Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy

Big dog Uncle Lenny tries to escape detection by the CIA for the things he did in his mysterious past. Big dog Emperor Br!@n goes through therapy for his intrusive dictatorial thoughts.  Big dog Count Chronicles gets into a fight with his own butt. Socials  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@welcometoearth_podcast Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast  Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin  Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy

Big dog Kirby Enthusiasm sidles over to the mic to give us more insight into the life of a cowboy from Texas.   Big dog Little Man returns to sprinkle us all with more dark truths from the shadow realm. Big dogs Tom Foolery and No Nonsense Nick make their first appearances to tell us of their scheme to out perform Santa Claus this Christmas.     Socials   Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast  Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy

Big dog Skert sits his little butt in our chair and talks about his lovely wife who just so happens to sound like a barnyard animal.    Big dog Uncle Lenny stumbles in from the kitchen to discuss his business plans and memories from Zach’s childhood.    Big dog DZay Jizzy drops the funk on us with stories of his prolific career as a Gen Z DJ.   Socials  Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast  Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin  Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy

Big dog Jack Jim Joe swings by to talk about his club for men with insecurities—not complaints! He’s a manipulative boi who wants to use peoples’ insecurities against them.    Big dog Mulgrave pulls up on us to  talk about his recent rad quest to dig deep within Mt. Fuji for the God Blood. Has a private chef, loves jet fuel, hates science nerds.    Big dog Rizzmaster is a 14 year old boy who is on a mission to teach the world how to properly Rizz. He ends up starting an imaginary situation that leads to the studio actually exploding.    Socials  Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast  Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin  Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy

Big dog Andy Junction is trying to cool down, so he enlists the help of Roberto to quiet the rage in his soul.   Big dog Bill Smart wants to figure out what he did last week and finds a new best friend along the way.   Introducing big dog, Plumpy, who just wants to talk about his pumpkin patch but is abducted by aliens and replaced by big dog Eminem… the rapper.   Quote of the episode “For the audio listeners: something just happened.”   Socials  Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast  Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin  Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy

Big dog Donkey Dave swings by to discuss Barbie and show us his new bike. Big dog Piggie Smalls swings by to discuss his housing needs and tending to the heads on Mount Rushmore. And introducing the new big dog, Bullfrog, who is a bullfrog.   Socials  Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast  Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin  Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy

Roberto becomes good friends with Boris Privyet, previously known as Magic Mike, while looking through his assortment of mystical trinkets. Zach gets completely embarrassed by one of these trinkets — a magic sieve which translates the truth through his dirty lies.  Then Zach becomes close.. too close.. with Ruth, an old biddy who is slowly losing her marbles. She’s come to the show to promote her new career as a driving instructor but tragically dies, only to then be puppeteered by Little Man (a timeless shadow monster).  Lastly Zach and Roberto talk to Lester Cob, an activist and heavy weight annoying voice world champion. Fight the system, bro.   In Memoriam: StorkyRuth’s big badonkadonk   Socials: Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy

Schmitty McFallsalot returns to the show to tell the boys about a governmental conspiracy he’s uncovering involving the FBI and Canadian witches. Zach and Roberto perform a hostage negotiation at the Hilton in Salem Massachusetts for President Joseph-Gordon Biden. They discover that Tom Cruise is a future politician. Their second guest is James. Simply James. And he is an expert on small talk and completely unable to speak about big things. The boyz wrap things up by shaming ChetGPT in various ways.     Oh, also Zach is a vampire now. That’s canon.    Shirt ideas: 1. “Politicians are good, witches are bad” 2. “Elon Musk makes my balls sweat”   Socials  Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast/  Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin  Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy

Waxy Maximilian comes on talking all this game about making magic and doin tricks. Whoa man, I didn’t ask for your life story. Then this Magic Mike guy sits down in my chair and no one even stopped him. He makes people sleepy or something. The last guy was a sweet kid. Cheerful Charlie was his name. He just made me feel good about myself. Zach and Roberto also talked to this 911 operator. Like why. Anyway, see you guys next time.    Socials  Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast/  Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin  Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy

Zach and Roberto chat the chits with Harvey Hicks (a fire fighter and second coming of Jesus), Soul Sugar (a pop star and all around psychopath) and Daniel Crackcorn (an animal expert and low stakes villain).     Podcast Socials: https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast/ Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy

Zach and Roberto chitty chat with Mark Cuban (an elementary school teacher and sad sack), Mulgrave (a world traveler and chronicler) and Donkey Dave (a sntoned vampire man or some shit).   Love you

Andy Junction, a chronically infuriated man, chats with Zach and Roberto about hats vs helmets, not understanding fantasy and novel ways of cooling ones emotional temperature down. Next Zach chats with Big Gravy, the once gravy salesman turned hell-demon, who is now on a press tour for his new finance book. Finally Roberto sits down gently with Dillweed Thomas, a wealthy entrepreneur, to discuss his slumlord business and that there are some things you just can’t talk to Yanks about.   Podcast Socials: https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast/ Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy

Chris Ive, a Silicon Valley tech guru comes by to chat about his team’s earth shattering new product and in the process teaches Roberto how to live an enlightened life. Then Joe Biden returns to apologize to Zach and the American citizens for what he deems an unforgivable lapse in presidential etiquette. Lastly Pippin Grear returns to try and sell the youth on the simple pleasures of living a non-digital life… and also to continue his war against AI and robots. ChetGPT gets caught in the crossfire. Sorry Chet.   Podcast Socials: https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast/ Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy

First up today is Seth Mayhem, an influencer and Twitch streamer, who is plagued by his own audience’s expectations. Next they chat with Bob Barley, a toilet mogul who is renown for installing the toilets in each of the wonders of the world and wants to discuss why he no longer jokes. Lastly the boys talk to the pop star and music icon, Soul Sugar, who demos some of the songs from his new album.

Starting things off, Zach and Roberto chat with Kid Jefferies who returns to the show with a new chill attitude to talk about his relationship with criminals, bears and his father. Then the boys introduce Lex, a self-proclaimed good man and non-villain who is endeavoring to help people in his own… misguided ways. Roberto talks to Lex’s Aunt Ruth and Grandmother Bethany to confirm bits of his origin. Later Patrick Mahone, a 4 year old little girl, is introduced and she talks about her history undercover in the CIA and her struggle regaining her non-undercover identity.

The boys’ first guest today is ChetGPT, a sentient AI birthed of a virgin scientist, offering his unique perspective on the world. You'll hear hilarious scenarios where ChetGPT's lack of emotional intelligence gets him into trouble. Then, Zach talks to Big Gravy, a hell demon turned tugboat captain, navigating the choppy waters of love. Finally, we have Isaac Attaboy, a news anchor with a penchant for improbable news stories. Isaac shares some of the most bizarre and outlandish news stories he's covered throughout his career.   -Written by ChetGPT   Zach’s Instagram: @jackerypumpkin Roberto’s Instagram: @robertoreedcomedy

The first guest for Zach and Roberto today is Burberry, The Lord and God of Dreams and Nightmares. He takes Roberto and the later guests into dreams that reflect the goodness or evil of the person in the dream. Second up is Emperor Palpatine, back again to show off his newfound appreciation for “small town evil” as well as plans for a Halloween store. Finally Captain Firebeard returns and is immediately embroiled in Palpie’s scheme to have a son.

Today’s episode starts off with Zach and Roberto chatting with Corinthians Rosenbaum, a feline behavioral psychologist. She trains Roberto to be a more dominant person using her rather eccentric methods. Then Roberto and Thia are both taught “maffs” by a professor named Mr. Matelaus who learned how to count  (and may have started the pandemic) in prison. Oh yeah, and he’s from the future and has a time traveling phone. Why not. Lastly they reveal a surprise guest which is Genesis Rosenbaum, Corinthians’ daughter that she’s trying to marry off to just about anyone. Throughout the episode several other people pop in like Donkey Dave, Schneedly Grip and even Engineer Josh.

Starting off a totally action packed episode Bill Smart comes back to the show for his own official segment. Bill gives his grand plans for joining the circus and fills in large war-torn gaps in his life’s story. Then Roberto chats with Merlin, who wants to make some new friends, and his enchanted suit of armor, Sir Clangor. The episode concludes with Zach and Roberto talking to an unlikely duo who have started a new podcast: Robin and Bane. Bane reveals an unreasonable hatred of geese and may or may not be Patrick Stewart in disguise. Robin is trying come to grips with weaning off the smack and calls his lawyer, Schmitty McFallsalot.    “Anything can happen in a circus. That’s the law.”