My second psychedelic integration helped me redefine and accept concepts that have given me a different sense of freedom and ease in my life.  Thank you to my dear friend Jenny for trip sitting, my psychedelic guide and tattoo artist Bear Cunningham, and my darling service pup in training Pepper Ann. I am grateful for the many teachers my life has been touched by.

***Audio lower quality because I didn't use a mic for most of this.

"Because if I can explain what this feeling is like to other people, then maybe they can make the choice to try and embrace it in their life. If I can give other trauma survivors and neurodivergent people, and disabled and chronically ill people, any small amount of peace.. If that is within my power, I will do anything to make it happen."

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[00:00] Processing my recent psilocybin integration trip

[01:16] Interruptions can be invitations

[03:40] My definition of generosity and creativity

[04:31] Love is an action that doesn’t include control

[05:45] Being rescued by a relationship

[07:05] Acceptance and attunement

[08:12] Childhood wounds and experiencing emotions

[08:58] Why I chose Pepper Ann

[10:18] Finding my lost pieces

[11:16] I can’t earn love, because I was always worthy

[11:57] Connection and creativity are attempts

[13:50] Accountability: do no harm

[15:55] Letting go of being emotionally dangerous

[18:29] Connections are mutual, imperfect attempts to understand and be understood

[19:27] Grief and the gift of witnessing or being witnessed with our pain

[21:28] It’s all a choice

[22:14] Feeling and connections are a practice

[23:18] I am choosing to give this shit back, it was never ours

[24:29] My emotions and intensity are an invitation you can RSVP “no” to

[26:45] If it’s within my power

[27:43] What I do for me, I do for you

[28:43] Me and all my selves are figuring it out

[29:24] Awe and gratitude

[30:05] bell hooks and the ripples of creation

[34:16] .. I woke up this way?? Because I’m pickled.

[34:56] The world will be ready when you are

[36:15] Defining attention as a voluntary investment

[37:37] Harmony, contentment, and solitude

[39:52] I’m grateful that you exist and I am working on listening

Image Description For Episode Artwork

[Image of two photos of me, mirrored left and right with a rainbow filter applied that gives a slightly cartoon/unreal vibe.

In both pictures, I, a white nonbinary person with long chin-length mohawk, have a neutral expression. I am sitting with legs underneath me, one hand crossing my body to rest on my thigh. The other hand is touching my patio door, which looks like a mirror in the image. I am dressed with a witchy vibe, wearing a wide brimmed maroon hat, a black hoodie with gold constellations and magical patterns on it, tucked into a sheer skirt with fishnets. My sleeves are slightly rolled up, exposing layers and the tattoo on the forearm that’s touching the glass. I am wearing fake eyelashes, dark purple lipstick, a septum, several ear piercings and a long gold necklace with a circle pendant.

On the left side, I am looking at the glass/middle of the overall image. On the right side, the only difference is I am looking at the camera.]