2:13 Parenting-wise, I have row, row, row'd that boat!

3:35 When our (customers) works were getting shut down, they definitely were very interested in our work remaining open  - understandably - so they could get their work done at home and we could take care of their kids.

4:01 We went with the commercial insurance guideline and we shut 'er down, and I think our daycare parents we're like "Really? You're not gonna take care of our kids?" Not because they couldn't believe it, but because they were just hoping.

4:18 "I know you like my kids, why can't they just come over for a visit 40 hours a week?!"

4:38 So boom, our work shut down, it stopped, and it was just like, all of a sudden you could here a pin drop in this house.

5:06 So it just shut down, and nobody was allowed in, which meant no money.

5:40 We wanted to be people who could offer zoom as a resource for our customers, but you know what, we learned really fast that we're not good at that, we're terrible at that. We don't want to do it  - and we're bad at it, so that was a "no."

6:45 I couldn't go to all the normal places I go to "recreate" and I did anyway, but I'd have to find non-kosher places to park and then find a way to hike down to where I needed to go to have some time  on the coast. It became very complicated but also a little bit of an adventure there.

7:05 It was delicate because people didn't want you around there if you weren't from there.

7:03 That kind of feeling absolutely reminded me of being in San Francisco during 9/11. I know it's totally different but that  weird, eery feeling of no air, complete uncertainty - there were similarities there.

7:47 We just had to figure it out. It took us about 100 days before we could open (our daycare) up - until our insurance would cover us again. Until we could legitimately have everything in place to protect us if a kid got hurt here - we can't lose the house - so we had to have x, y & z in place - so it took awhile  to work itself out.

8:06 So we panicked a lot during that time. You know we had some fun, but we also had a lot of panic.

9:15 It was not great. So she's 16 and much more capable around the computer stuff, however,  also desperately in that age group, their friends are their world -- their parents are yesterday's newspaper.

9:44 I feel like that kid's been in bed, surrounded by delightful stuffies and some colored lights - she's got quite the cozy setup in there - but like an old, sick grandpa.

10:05 It's been so long now there's social pressure, "Oh my god, what if they don't like me anymore? How’s it going to be when I see them? What will they say about me? What will they think about me?” All the loveliness we got to enjoy at the beginning of 9th grade - she had half of 9th grade then went into lockdown - now we get to go through all of that all over again. And I don’t mean “we” really, I mean herself and the other students. It’s rough on them.

13:20 I think there’s going to be a lot of changes, that we aren’t even aware of. I say good, because it’s not like everything was working so great to begin with.

14:00 That was the sorrow and the joy. It’s hard for me personally, not the rest of the family, to be around a lot of people for a lot of time.

16:02 He’s like “I just don’t want to be on campus. It’s weird. Everything’s shut down.” So that’s great, he moved back in with us even though we had to keep paying for that apartment — and his girlfriend did as well.

16:32 I was doing all the nicest things I could do and be as me — right in the house. Everybody’s got their own way!

17:18 I discovered self care in my 50s. Growing up I thought it was bad because I didn’t understand. I’m a late bloomer!

18:01 The more I grow up and want to take care of myself, the less she’s getting, but you know? That’s OK. She’s the 3rd kid, it happens, you know what I mean? She’s got older brothers, they fill in a little bit!

21:08 Kitty references a Stephen King movie - but it’s actually an M Night Shyamalan movie called The Happening. A star-studded ensemble cast and def worth watching!

23:49 My oldest son is a cop, he’s white. I’m white. My wife is white. My other son is white. My daughter is brown. We’ve got transracial. We’ve got white privilege. We’ve got a little schmutza schmutza here and there of everything.

24:10 It’s been a rough year for my son who is a cop….but I’m his mom and that’s a perspective I have.

25:43 My youngest kid is brown, she has friends who are skaters, and I think she is embarrassed — not to have a white family, but to have a *cop* family.

26:38 We do talk about race all the time around here and I love that.

26:50 I have a nice mixed up blended family here and we’ve gotta be able to enjoy each other.

27:00 You gotta be able to put someone in their place and then still give them a hug and move on, ya know.

27:34 The irony was he was working 50 days in a row (during the protests and demonstrations over the summer). There was no way for the city to be safe and defund any cops.

28:00 That was not a moment that it’s practical for anyone to be defunded because people were not safe

28:11 My daughter who hears all his stories every day after work, she wanted no part of (the protests & demonstrations) and she is a brown person and social activist.

29:10 And I’m just thinking “thank fucking God you came home”.

29:20 I went to one protest all summer and ran into a Little Scout there and he was like “Which side of this are you on?” And I was like “Oh dude, I’m on both sides of this”.

29:40 That’s my truth for me.

31:28 You can easily see how this stuff can mess with you, how power, and then getting treated roughly by the general public, and politically, how it can really mess with your head and it leads exactly *not* where you want it to go.

33:17 We stopped going to playgrounds. I haven’t been to a playground in a year. We still don’t go. We’re just waiting to see if there’s another surge. We will go back someday, but not yet.

33:48 What’s the main difference? Rich white people, not rich brown people. It was so smack you right in the face and I found it shocking.