We are storied people. Rachael Anne Clinton helps us understand why discovering the stories that have shaped our past benefits our present and future. Find out why she believes everyone has known some heartache, but why you can’t enter the trauma olympics. Listen to her fascinating story…

Your Storied Past Does Inform Your Present and Future

Highlights from the interview:

• We all need witnesses to our stories, especially formative stories where we’ve known heartache and harm. When we’re young, we don’t have the capacity to see the whole picture.
• When other people read our stories with us, they help us see the story more fully and accurately because we make a lot of assumptions about ourselves and what happened based on our younger self and our body’s desire to survive.
• Often we develop shame and judgment around what has happened and we interpret it to be our fault if we don’t tell our stories.
• We are storied people. That’s why she invites people to start to tell their stories and discover the stories that have shaped who you are.
• It’s important to know that in some ways no family is perfect so there will always be some absence of love in places that we need it. It involves heartbreak and loss.
• Trauma is a distressing or threatening event that gives your body an experience of threat.
• A child who observes domestic violence will experience the same traumatic response as a child who has domestic violence directed at them. Being in the presence of terror activates the limbic system.
• Is losing a family pet as traumatic as refugee families fleeing for their lives? There is no trauma olympics.

Listen to the episode for the full story.

Stacy’s Journal

Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource.

Rachael and I touched on a side topic of finding a good therapist or counselor. So many people feel they must be in crisis to go to a therapist or they think only “other” people do so. I’d like to propose a different way of looking at this. A counselor or therapist is a fantastic brainstorming partner. They are a neutral person, someone who doesn’t judge you for your thoughts and feelings in any way. And they don’t have authority over you, so you don’t have to enter into the conversation as a weaker party. If you approach a therapist as a great person to bounce ideas off of, a partner to collaborate with you, and as someone to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with to take a keen eye to life’s issues, then you will gain tremendous insights and make the most of your connection. Psychology today is a great resource for finding just the right fit. And like Rachael said, start by having an introductory conversation with several to see who you click with. If you find a great counselor, please drop me a line and let me know your favorite way to work with that professional.

Last episode, Dr. Dan Allender shared his thoughts on the trauma of shame and the agreements we make with ourselves to hide that shame, so if you know anyone who may have been silenced by shame, you might want to go back and have a listen. Next week, we’ll interview our third guest from the Allender Center, Jeannette White and we continue digging into healing from heartache.

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