If you’re a bird, I’m a bird! Unless you were a book first. Not that any of us will remember by the end of this.

Jim and Kelly are ready to prove that there’s nothing sexier than a story about the tragedy of aging. Grab a marble notebook, a colored pen and some Viagra cause it’s time to tackle the Notebook.

Nicholas Sparks found a way to our hearts and a healthy paycheck by way of the romance genre. His sexiness remains refuted by Kelly.

In 2004 we saw the meteoric rise of the Gos-God and Rachel McAdams in the film adaptation. Somehow making swans and the 1940s seem less aggressive.

Can a movie do what it’s never done before and ADD character development and plot? Does Jim and James Marsden have a shot at redemption? Can Kelly be moved to tears by the book equivalent to a LiveJournal entry? Or is Ryan Gosling just rowing us all towards a literal and figurative dead end.

It’s never too late to jot down your steamiest moments with your partner on paper. Just hide it from the kids. They’ll wish to forget it as much as Jim and Kelly did.