Lost or Found

Dr. Michelle Choi

My name is Dr. Michelle Choi, and I'm an Internal Medicine doctor in Santa Cruz, CA. I left my medical career in September, 2020, to become a podcaster. I practiced medicine in the inpatient and outpatient settings for over 10 years, before making the major life decision to leave my traditional career as a doctor. I do not believe that we're doing enough to get to the underlying causes of what is causing illness. And the way in which healthcare is structured in our nation, if doctors simply don't have the time to talk with our patients, or if it's much easier to get insurance coverage for a pill for depression rather than counseling, whom are we really helping? Why not do more than just putting a band-aid on the issue? After years of frustration, I decided to leave the career I'd worked my whole life for, in search of what may contribute to our feeling whole. I believe that we all have the capacity to be who we really are, not just a whiff of who we are. And perhaps by being honest with ourselves, can we unlock the key to our own healing, and find our path to a meaningful life. Join me on the Lost or Found podcast, as we contemplate the components of true health. Be your true advocate! Dare to be inspired!! read less
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Episodes

Ep. 113: First 2 Chapters of Untangling
Mar 28 2024
Ep. 113: First 2 Chapters of Untangling
Hello friends! For this episode I'm going to share the first two chapters of my upcoming book Untangling: Liberating Myself from an Enmeshed Family and Impossible Medical Career.  It's really been a long ass journey, but I'm still standing! And I'm super excited that this book is close! And if you're enjoying the podcast, don't forget to rate the podcast, however you get your podcasts! I had been working as a doctor for almost 15 years when I had a full blown midlife crisis. I was supposed to have reached the promise land of success, and yet I found myself so unhappy, angry, and becoming someone that I was not. And then I threw it all away to become a podcaster. It was during this time that I thought about the reoccurring pattern in my life. I was enmeshed. At my corporate medicine job, I smiled, never complained about the increasingly impossible workload, didn’t cause any problems, and was becoming the kind of doctor I never wanted to be.  But my enmeshment didn’t start at work, I also had been enmeshed with my family of origin. Enmeshment happens when parents are unable to see their children as separate entities, when being “too close” can lead to a form of trauma. So much of my energy as a child was spent on making my dysfunctional parents feel better, being the only friend to my mentally struggling mother. I became a doctor for their approval! And for too long, I did not have a strong sense of who I was.  And well, like Humpty Dumpty on the wall, I fell hard but I decided to look at all the pieces.
Ep. 112: Generational Trauma with Ken Robins
Mar 14 2024
Ep. 112: Generational Trauma with Ken Robins
Today, we talk about generational trauma with Ken Robins! Dr. Bruce Lipton, the author of The Biology of Belief, notes that we are programmed to live a certain way by those who take care of us. In turn, this affects how we live, a lifestyle we may not have knowingly chosen for ourselves. Glennon Doyle, in her book Untamed, calls it an unnecessary burden that is passed on. Some people call this family karma or family patterns. Others call it generational trauma. Because of the issues of the parents, siblings, or generational forefathers, there’s a certain energetic pattern that develops within the family at large as pain continues to get passed on. It’s remarkable how this traumatic bundle is unknowingly passed down for lifetimes. It could have started with one person, but others subsequently continue to follow the pattern and forget its origin. We are still connected to past generations and generations of people we never knew through dysfunction. Really kind of crazy if you think about it. Not only are we physically related to our distant and immediate family members, but we can still be living with their learned patterns and pain.  What sucked in their lives could be what sucks in our lives.  Ken Robins was born on 9/11/1944 during a bombing raid in London and grew up in extreme poverty and violence and has been seeking the safety and healing of healthy relationships ever since. He is fascinated by the potential for suffering to become a blessing and specializes in the healing of trauma and the promotion of ”safe attachment” in intimate partnerships. Ken was a group, couples and individual process leader at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur for 30 years and continues his private practice in Carmel Valley California.
Ep. 111: Morally Injured with Dr. Tara Sood
Feb 29 2024
Ep. 111: Morally Injured with Dr. Tara Sood
Moral injury exists in the practice of medicine, and it's not discussed.  It was originally coined by a psychiatrist to describe the wounds that form when a person's sense of what is right is betrayed by leaders of high status. Whether or not we think about it, we all hold a moral compass and sometimes we see this being jeopardized by what we partake in, witness, or fail to prevent. This is especially true in the practice of medicine, as people's health and lives are at stake. Some doctors call it burnout, and some may really be burned out, but unfortunately in medical practice, it's not just the doctor's problem. As healthcare has become corporatized, and the majority of doctors work for corporate, there is a bigger problem at large. When Dr. Wendy Dean noticed that the rate of suicide in doctors were higher than active military members, she surveyed docs to see how they were doing.  And she found that many were not unhappy due to burnout and working too hard, but because the healthcare system made it so difficult for them to care for their patients.  If you know a doctor or nurse, if you are a doctor or nurse, if you know a doctor who committed suicide, if you are a little or a lot unhappy, please consider listening to this episode. You may realize that you are not alone.  And, unfortunately, it's a topic that doctors cannot openly talk about at work. They're still calling it Burnout.  Dr. Tara Sood is a seasoned physician holding dual board certifications in Emergency Medicine and Lifestyle Medicine, boasting 18 years of experience in high-volume Emergency Departments. Complementing her clinical work, Dr. Sood extends her passion for healing to international humanitarian aid. With 7 years of hands-on experience in disaster relief and refugee care, she serves as a technical consultant for the International Medical Corps (IMC), leveraging her skills to enhance healthcare access for vulnerable communities worldwide. Outside of her medical practice, she finds joy in fostering dogs from a local rescue organization. Specializing in rehabilitating psychologically withdrawn dogs who have endured abuse and neglect, she provides them with care and attention, helping them heal and rebuild trust in humans.
Ep. 109: Fitness Training with Alex Soto
Aug 3 2023
Ep. 109: Fitness Training with Alex Soto
Alex Soto is back on the show to talk about his incredible work as a fitness and functional trainer, as well as the profound body work that he does for his clients. While many would be turned off by the idea of fitness training, as we are more prone to injury as we get older, it's important to actually feel strong in our bodies while also appropriately addressing the painful and weaker areas.  It's preventative and perhaps curative. Last week, Alex was on the show talking about his history with pain, as well as the emotional and physical pain that he sees in his clients.  On this week's episode, Alex begins to tell us what we can do.  Perhaps the most intuitive trainer I've ever met, I can't help but really know that he gets pain.  And well, I think there's so much that one can do to help you, if they get it.   Check this episode out if you have pain, or you've thought about the possibility of a physically, and perhaps emotionally stronger YOU! You can find Alex on instagram @alex2636 or you can email him at Ealexsoto85@gmail.com. Also, We will be taking a short break for about 6 weeks.  We’ll be back in the middle of September.  I’ll miss you, but I need some time to chill.  And don’t forget to check out some older episodes that interest you.  And don't forget to rate this podcast.  On Apple podcast, you have to scroll to the bottom of the page of episodes- to see the 5 stars. For Spotify, the rating is usually at the top. Have a wonderful rest of your summer.  And be kind to yourself.  Because, if not for YOU, where would you be?  And I thank you.  I also wanted to thank Katherine Hallissy Ayala, my beloved Webdesigner, you can find her at CodeByKatherine.com, and Will Mitchell, my beloved Sound producer, who makes everything sound easy and definitely Ups my game- you can find him at hands-on-sound.net.
Ep. 107.  My Imagined Letter. By me, For me, To me.
Jul 21 2023
Ep. 107.  My Imagined Letter. By me, For me, To me.
Okay, so I'm going to do something different this week.  Today's episode is all me.  I feel like it's a pivotal moment in my life, considering I still carry that super shy person inside of me.  I'm excited, a little scared, and well, Why not?? I’ve been mentioning in the last few episodes the imaginary letter that I wrote on behalf of my mother- by me, for me, to me.  And it originally started off as a monologue way-back-when on episode 50, as I delved deeper to include it in my upcoming book.   On last week’s interview, I became especially interested in something that Dr. Chris Fahrenbach said.  We were discussing Jennette McCurdy’s book, I’m Glad My Mother Died, and we were talking about how enmeshment- when parents are overly reliant on their children for support- can lead to emotional trauma. I asked her towards the end of the interview, how do we HEAL from enmeshment?  And she brought up differentiation - to essentially separate yourself from the destructive environmental influences. In order for us to live our own lives and fulfill our own destinies, we must differentiate ourselves from destructive family and societal influences.  Differentiating from negative influences and identities from our past allows us to become who we truly are, rather than following a prescribed identity from either our family or our society.   So friends,this letter has become a part of my process of differentiation from my pain. With this letter, I can understand my pain, and I can understand my mother's pain. I don't have to hate her, nor do I have to like her. I can see things clearly. I choose my own future. I present to you a chapter from my book. My Imagined Letter. By Me, For Me, To Me
Episode 105: Plant Based Nutrition with Crystal Robb
Jun 29 2023
Episode 105: Plant Based Nutrition with Crystal Robb
It's true that plant based lifestyles reduce the risk of heart disease, metabolic syndrome, diabetes, certain risks of cancer (specifically colon, breast, and prostate cancers), depression, and in older adults, decreased risk of frailty, along with better mental and physical function. Plant-based or plant-forward eating patterns focus on foods primarily from plants. This includes not only fruits and vegetables, but also nuts, seeds, oils, whole grains, legumes, and beans. It doesn't mean that you are vegetarian or vegan and never eat meat or dairy. Rather, you are proportionately choosing more of your foods from plant sources. Join us today as Crystal Robb is on the show to talk about plant based nutrition!  I think in order to make healthful changes into our lives, getting to the bottom of why this change benefits us leads to a habit that really becomes consistent.  And we’re not talking being a vegetarian, we’re talking about adding more vegetables and fruits to our diet.  It’s known that food is highly inflammatory, and why make the fires in our bodies worse? Join us as we talk about how to get started, and get inspiration for plant-based eating throughout the day! Crystal Robb has been actively working in the wellness community for over 10 years. She is a nutritionist, specializing in plant-based nutrition, culinary and sustainable agriculture. Crystal is also a registered yoga teacher, and professional surf instructor.  Crystal offers wellness consulting and coaching to inspire you to live your best life.  You can find her at crystalrobb.com
Ep. 104: Our Awakening with Raniero Hoffman
Jun 22 2023
Ep. 104: Our Awakening with Raniero Hoffman
What if we all have something special within all of us, ready to be awakened, to be pulled out into our existence? Perhaps that is a fundamental truth that we continue to deny. You are already very special. But how do we start to really remember? Father Raniero is a Catholic monk from the New Camaldolese Hermitage in Big Sur and he is here to talk about our awakening and enlightenment.  He was one of my original interviewees when I first started, when we began the podcast talking about forgiveness on  Episode 2. And today, he returns to talk about Our Awakening, what he calls Our God within us, and all around us.  And we use the term God loosely, it could be our faith, whichever religion you practice, the universe, your light.  Your truest form. This conversation was very important and timely for me, because sometimes I also forget my light is there, dampening it. Father Raniero reminds us to never forget, to live with, and be guided by what is in all of us.  He begins by giving us a little homily, and check out the amazing conversation as we go at it.  And I really mean it, he is so insightful, speaks with joy always, and truly loving.  It was a conversation that I needed to hear at that very moment in time. On a side note, this is something that I've been noticing with truly spiritual people- it's like they remember and know the child-like Joy in life, and we can feel it. It's like, JUST CHILL. Like the Dalai Lama always seems like he's laughing or joyful. And if you like this interview - check out the other monks that I interviewed in the past: Cyprian Consiglio was in The Breadth of the Divine on ep 27 and Michael Fish was on the podcast in The Journey thru Life on episode 88. These monks are legit soul reaching, insightful, aiming for love at times what seems like a whole other level. Be inspired to live your best life! And don't forget to give us a great rating, send your fave episodes to your friends, and tell people about us! It helps so much, as this is a project of Love, as you advocate for your health and well being more.