Hey everyone, my name is Drew Barker, I've served everywhere from startups to some of the largest churches in the world. I'm a pastor's kid. I've been around church my entire life.

In This Episode: We'll be discussing "church-hurt", sharing stories of disappointments, and talking about the future of the community. With a goal of healing from past pains, inspiring hope for the future, and building better leaders for generations to come.The goal of this podcast is it's not to throw shade at leaders or pastors or anyone. We're not going to be mentioning names of churches or even personal names. We discuss the stats on people walking away from the church after COVID and how we are at a turning point where we need to decide if we are going to adapt or do nothing.Drew highlights the similarity of our current situation to the story of Lazarus.Drew shares a raw and emotional story from his past and how it made him feel. Later those same feelings came up again in a church staff meeting that caused him to lose trust in his leader that day.Lessons learned from today's stories:Vulnerability and authenticity cannot be forced.Their pain overrides your position. Think through your next great idea with your team's emotions in mind.Quotes from This Episode: "I'm finding that the majority of times people are moving away from the church, moving away from Christianity, moving away from the community, it comes back to a leader. Not getting something important right." ~ Drew Barker"We have to address the overwhelming lack of accountability and support for leaders in Church. And we just have to we're at that point." ~ Drew BarkerEpisode Sponsor: This episode of Hope After Hurt is brought to you by The UPS Store, need help with shipping, printing, packing, shredding, branding, or any other ING imaginable? Let Drew's family help, they own three of the UPS Stores in North Carolina. If you're near Cary or Clayton make sure you stop into your local - The UPS Store - and say YES to local, family-owned businesses. Help Your Friends say YES to what God has nextIf you like Hope after Hurt, a YES Podcast visit our website and follow us on social media on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. And if you really like the podcast we'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

In This Episode: Drew shares another Church hurt story. In the last episode, he spoke about a poor moment from leadership. We've all made our fair share of mistakes and we should be very understanding of leaders who have a poor moment.This story is about a lifestyle and not just a moment.After joining a church staff, Drew finds out that the Pastor and his wife are separating, when did he find out? At his first staff meeting. Not during the interview process.What can we learn from this example?You don't have to be perfect, but you do have to be honest.Where integrity is absent, pride is present.When you make a mistake, own it, and grow through the process.The level of your accountability determines your level of discipline.We talk about the statement "we have to do what's best for the church."You could call Mary Ann a coach for church leaders, but I think she would rather be called like a cheerleader or even a ninja. Mary Ann believes that helping people with small steps is just as important as providing the bigger vision goals and best practices.In fact, as a ninja, her best work is really done behind the scenes, helping you shine and lead better and create healthier volunteer teams.Mary Ann highlights an issue she is seeing in her work church leaders, competition. There is a competitive nature to ministry today.  We talk about the importance of a board of directors, or a group of people that help hold you accountable. Mary Ann's was called "The Justice League," and she walks us through how it was formed and how valuable it was in her leadership role.Quotes from This Episode: "Be yourself.  People would rather follow a leader who is always real than a leader who is always right." Craig Roschell "What's best for the church is also what's best for your own family." Drew Barker"God doesn't use us because we change. God is the resource by which we are changed." Drew Barker" The world needs the local church to be healthy and leadership is where it starts." Mary AnnEpisode Sponsor: This episode of Hope After Hurt is brought to you by The UPS Store, need help with shipping, printing, packing, shredding, branding, or any other ING imaginable? Let Drew's family help, they own three of the UPS Stores in North Carolina. If you're near Cary or Clayton make sure you stop into your local - The UPS Store - and say YES to local, family-owned businesses. Help Your Friends say YES to what God has nextIf you like Hope after Hurt, a YES Podcast visit our website and follow us on social media on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. And if you really like the podcast we'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

In This Episode: We talk about how comparison to other churches and their ministries drives a lot of churches to overwork their staff in order to "compete" with other churches.We talk about what the solution may look like for a lacking volunteer program that doesn't make volunteers feel like they are cared for.We talk about how many people you can effectively care for... a study by Brown university said it was 10 people. The problem is we often forget to count our family, children, and loved ones.Mary Anne talked about an issue she faced when suggesting that a church needed to have two leaders for each volunteer team to properly care for the team.  Our social media is set up for vulnerability, authenticity, and community, and really our goal is that you would feel comfortable sharing your story, or maybe even what you're struggling with in this season. We want to come around you. We want to support you. We want to lift your arms up and pray for you any way we can.We spend the second part of the show talking about tension.Drew shares moments he hasn't been at his best and what he learned from those situations.One way to help manage tension in situation is start by remembering you're on the same team, wearing the same jersey.Drew shares the approach of FBC which is like a cheat code for difficult conversations (modified from a Simon Sinek talk.)FeelingsBehaviorsConcernsI feel like... Explain the behaviors that are creating tension... my concern is... and then STOP TALKING and listen.Drew gives examples on how to use this technique. Quotes from This Episode: As leaders, our first priority is not growth. Reaching people? Sure. But don't miss the team that's right in front of your face. If you get the culture right with your team, growth will be a byproduct of that. ~ Drew BarkerCOVID isn't the problem for churches. It revealed the problem. ~ Mary Anne SibleyYou can get through any WHAT if your WHY is strong enough. ~ Drew BarkerEpisode Sponsor: This episode of Hope After Hurt is brought to you by The UPS Store, need help with shipping, printing, packing, shredding, branding, or any other ING imaginable? Let Drew's family help, they own three of the UPS Stores in North Carolina. If you're near Cary or Clayton make sure you stop into your local - The UPS Store - and say YES to local, family-owned businesses. Help Your Friends say YES to what God has nextIf you like Hope after Hurt, a YES Podcast visit our website and follow us on social media on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. And if you really like the podcast we'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

In This Episode: Felicia shares about how she joined a church staff and felt like she didn't fit in. Looking around she didn't see people who looked like her and had similar life experiences.We discuss the difference between belonging and fitting in.What can church leaders do to make sure people have a sense of belonging?Slow down and see the people around youIt's okay to take on duties and responsibilities beneath your positionWe answer questions (over 35 submitted) like:How do you know it's time to leave a church staff?How do you fire someone?How do you forgive someone when they haven't apologized?How do you know you are winning?and more...Quotes from This Episode: "There's such a difference between fitting in and belonging. Fitting in means changing things about yourself to mimic the people around you. But if the church staff creates a sense of belonging you feel appreciated and a part of the team." ~ Felicia   "Inclusion is all about celebrating the differences." ~FeliciaMentioned in this Episode:Beauti for Ashes - YouTube for Felicia RennerEpisode Sponsor: This episode of Hope After Hurt is brought to you by The UPS Store, need help with shipping, printing, packing, shredding, branding, or any other ING imaginable? Let Drew's family help, they own three of the UPS Stores in North Carolina. If you're near Cary or Clayton make sure you stop into your local - The UPS Store - and say YES to local, family-owned businesses. Help Your Friends say YES to what God has nextIf you like Hope after Hurt, a YES Podcast visit our website and follow us on social media on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. And if you really like the podcast we'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

Our Panel for this discussion: Tim Ferrara, Executive Pastor at LifePoint Church in San Tan Valley and has a podcast called Eyes on Jesus and author of Everyday Discernment: The Importance of Spirit-led Decision MakingCam Pape, student teaching pastor at Journey Church in Peoria, Arizona.Trevor Atchley, Pastor of Radical Church in Kyle, TexasIn This Episode: We talk about moments in the Documentary, Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed that surprised us.We talk about the PreachersNSneakers Instagram accountWe discuss how to explain the difference between emotional manipulation and a move of God.  We talk about how to tell what kind of church you are attending. Quotes from This Episode: "We don't ever want to discount people's experiences, but because of one person or several people's experiences, that doesn't tell the story of the entire experience.""I would caution that if you do a documentary ran just about any church of people that left, you could come up with a similar documentary of people that just wanted to tear down a church with their words.""When churches enable willfully sinful behavior, catastrophic events follow."Episode Sponsor: This episode of Hope After Hurt is brought to you by The UPS Store, need help with shipping, printing, packing, shredding, branding, or any other ING imaginable? Let Drew's family help, they own three of the UPS Stores in North Carolina. If you're near Cary or Clayton make sure you stop into your local - The UPS Store - and say YES to local, family-owned businesses. Help Your Friends say YES to what God has nextIf you like Hope after Hurt, a YES Podcast visit our website and follow us on social media on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. And if you really like the podcast we'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

Our Guest for this discussion: Jenny Midgley is a brand strategist, photographer, and storyteller. She is also one of the hosts of the popular podcast "Girls Who Do Stuff" Unlike our previous guests in the past episode, she is not involved in the Church, but agreed to watch the documentary and offer her perspective to expand the conversation of how churches can get better, learn from our mistakes, and be of value to people who are not in "the church-world."  In This Episode: We talk about moments in the Documentary, Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed that surprised us.We talk about the PreachersNSneakers Instagram accountJenny shares a bit about her faith background and how she made the decision to stop following the traditions she was brought up in.Jenny grew up active in her synagogue and attended Jewish Day school outside of Washington DC. They were heavily involved in that world and never knew megachurch's existed.We discuss buying seats for high holy days and the documentary may have taken that comparison out of context.Jenny grew up in a reformed congregation, she refers to it as "Jewish-lite."Jenny shares the story of when she decided she was done with her synagogue and that season of her life. Episode Sponsor: This episode of Hope After Hurt is brought to you by TDF Furniture. They carry over 50 brands at prices 60-95% off suggested retail. See something you like? fill up a truck and take it home today or schedule a delivery. Whether you're looking for an outdoor furniture set or dining room tables to recliners, we have it all. Special finance options are also available. Visit one of our five locations and learn more at TDFFurniture.comHelp Your Friends say YES to what God has nextIf you like Hope after Hurt, a YES Podcast visit our website and follow us on social media on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. And if you really like the podcast we'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

In This Episode: We start with episode one and the feedback we received from this raw and vulnerable episode.We the second episodes about when leadership gets it wrong and share a couple of leadership failures of our own.We discussed the importance of caring for people and the lessons learned from the episode with Mary Anne Sibley.We talked about our feeling, behavior, concern episode. This episode led to a lot of feedback from our audience.Drew opens up about his frustration about how many Christians handle conflict and argument.With all of the talk currently about Roe v. Wade, we discuss about how we, as Christians, need to be careful about how we share our opinion on this topic, no matter what side you are on.We often argue extremes, and those who disagree often argue the other extremes.The goal, is not to win the argument. If that's the goal you risk losing a soul for Christ.If you're going on social media and you think that's the best place to put your argument, with all due respect... Shut up.Posting divisive and toxic arguments on social media is not the same as creating policy or legislation. The goal is not to be on one side or the other, the goal is to help people understand that no matter what side you fall on, you should invite Jesus into your decision.We have a discussion about the importance of being known for what you are "for" and not what you are "against."The greatest argument you can make is that someone should invite Jesus into their situation.Episode Sponsor: This episode of Hope After Hurt is brought to you by TDF Furniture. They carry over 50 brands at prices 60-95% off suggested retail. See something you like? fill up a truck and take it home today or schedule a delivery. Whether you're looking for an outdoor furniture set or dining room tables to recliners, we have it all. Special finance options are also available. Visit one of our five locations and learn more at TDFFurniture.comHelp Your Friends say YES to what God has nextIf you like Hope after Hurt, a YES Podcast visit our website and follow us on social media on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. And if you really like the podcast we'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

In This Episode: Welcome to season two! We are tackling some questions from our listeners in this episode.What's the difference between church hurt and having your preferences pushed?Have churches placed talent over character when it comes to music?We talk a lot about accountability on the show and leaders who have struggled or have had that, so a listener wanted to know what Drew does in his life to make sure he is personally accountable.What is your greatest fear? "Having a podcast named Hope after Hurt and then going out and hurting someone.Is homosexuality a sin?"Don't be one of those people that only gives grace to people who sin like you do.""What I love so much about the church is that it's the only community that comes together and acknowledges that we're all in process."Episode Sponsor: This episode of Hope After Hurt is brought to you by TDF Furniture. They carry over 50 brands at prices 60-95% off suggested retail. See something you like? fill up a truck and take it home today or schedule a delivery. Whether you're looking for an outdoor furniture set or dining room tables to recliners, we have it all. Special finance options are also available. Visit one of our five locations and learn more at TDFFurniture.comHelp Your Friends say YES to what God has nextIf you like Hope after Hurt, a YES Podcast visit our website and follow us on social media on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. And if you really like the podcast we'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

In This Episode: We're gonna talk about resistance. We're gonna talk about what does that mean for us personally?What does that mean for people who are in leadership? How do we gauge resistance? How do we read resistance? And then how do we respond to resistance?When it comes to facing resistance it seems like whoever's around us at the time, or even just the season we're in personally dictates how we respond to it.Drew shares a story about launching a new contemporary service at a church and the resistance they faced.Was the resistance to a new service strong? "Somebody had broken into my office and on my whiteboard right in front of my desk written LEAVE. You're the devil, leave."So did a lot of good come from it? Absolutely. Do I think time under tension grew my leadership in that season? I would argue it made me more jaded. Time under tension equals growth is accurate, iff it's a healthy amount of tension. Episode Sponsor: This episode of Hope After Hurt is brought to you by TDF Furniture. They carry over 50 brands at prices 60-95% off suggested retail. See something you like? fill up a truck and take it home today or schedule a delivery. Whether you're looking for an outdoor furniture set or dining room tables to recliners, we have it all. Special finance options are also available. Visit one of our five locations and learn more at TDFFurniture.comHelp Your Friends say YES to what God has nextIf you like Hope after Hurt, a YES Podcast visit our website and follow us on social media on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. And if you really like the podcast we'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

We love other podcasts with a gospel-centered message. This one is called "GOD I GIVE UP: Submitting YOUR will for HIS" from the podcast: The Basement with Tim Ross. Enjoy this feed drop and consider subscribing to their podcast.

In This Episode: We talk about the preparation we did as new parents to get ready to bring home our first child. This is a great setup for the study we are doing today that highlights the story from Matthew 26. This is the story of the woman pouring the expensive alabaster jar of perfume that she poured out on Jesus' feet to prepare his body for burial.Mary of Bethany is the woman in the story and most of the people in the room though she was wasting resources. Her brother was Lazurus.We will prepare in crazy ways as parents because of the value we place on our children.Drew talks about playing "Pretty Princess" with his daughter.The separation is in the preparation.Episode Sponsor: This episode of Hope After Hurt is brought to you by TDF Furniture. They carry over 50 brands at prices 60-95% off suggested retail. See something you like? fill up a truck and take it home today or schedule a delivery. Whether you're looking for an outdoor furniture set or dining room tables to recliners, we have it all. Special finance options are also available. Visit one of our five locations and learn more at TDFFurniture.comHelp Your Friends say YES to what God has nextIf you like Hope after Hurt, a YES Podcast visit our website and follow us on social media on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. And if you really like the podcast we'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

In This Episode: Bob is one of the greatest community builders that Drew has ever met.Bob was born and raised in Minneapolis, MN. He grew up in a somewhat dysfunctional home in a dysfunctional neighborhood. He grew up in church and served in a large church with a youth group of more than 500 students. He poured a decade of his life into the students at that church and feels very proud of the role he played in the lives of all those students.They later adopted their daughter and realized he needed to do something different with his life to take care of his family. At that point, he felt a bit disregarded by the church.They took about a five-year break from the church before becoming re-involved at a local church.Bob now describes himself as a "Free Agent" if any churches are listening...Bob served at a church where it seemed that the pastor was building his brand. We discuss how this is becoming a more common issue in churches throughout the United States and contrast it with Biblical stories of leaders making much of Jesus and minimizing their role.Episode Sponsor: This episode of Hope After Hurt is brought to you by TDF Furniture. They carry over 50 brands at prices 60-95% off suggested retail. See something you like? Fill up a truck and take it home today or schedule a delivery. Whether you're looking for an outdoor furniture set or dining room tables to recliners, we have it all. Special finance options are also available. Visit one of our five locations and learn more at TDFFurniture.comHelp Your Friends say YES to what God has nextIf you like Hope after Hurt, a YES Podcast visit our website and follow us on social media on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. And if you really like the podcast we'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

In This Episode: What I love about this scripture is the order in which the miracle happened. So I don't know if you're like me, but I can get caught up so many times thinking that the way God works is there's a miracle. That miracle will grow my faith. And then, because my faith is strong, I will be passionate about supporting and backing others.Joe talks about the different contexts he has heard the term armor-bearer. It's positive and negative connotations.This story reminds us of how much we need to be supporting of other people in our lives.It doesn't start with a miracle, it starts with support and encouragement.Once we are willing to walk with someone in their journey, that's when we see our faith and their faith grow.Episode Sponsor: This episode of Hope After Hurt is brought to you by TDF Furniture. They carry over 50 brands at prices 60-95% off suggested retail. See something you like? fill up a truck and take it home today or schedule a delivery. Whether you're looking for an outdoor furniture set or dining room tables to recliners, we have it all. Special finance options are also available. Visit one of our five locations and learn more at TDFFurniture.comHelp Your Friends say YES to what God has nextIf you like Hope after Hurt, a YES Podcast visit our website and follow us on social media on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. And if you really like the podcast we'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).