Redefining Family

Jonathan Wilson

Does your family say “I Love You” yet it feels empty? You are not alone. Many in the LGBTQ+ community have faced this reality. Host Jonathan Wilson explores how and why we must overcome this obstacle in his podcast Redefining Family. His show spotlights stories of resilience as his guests share how they have redefined their definition of who they consider to be their real family. Heartfelt, honest, and vulnerable, these stories of overcoming shed light on what family actually means.

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Episodes

Blake Allen - Coming Out To Mormon Parents
Jul 11 2022
Blake Allen - Coming Out To Mormon Parents
This week on "Redefining Family,"  Jonathan interviews internationally recognized and award-winning musician and composer Blake Allen.   Blake was raised Mormon and came out to his blood related family at 18 years old, which at the time, did not go over very well.  However Blake explains that since then, him and his parents have learned to love each other in the way that they know how, even after he stepped away from the Mormon church.Blake also opens up about how in college, the suicide of a friend took him through a really dark time in his life, and how he then decided to live his truth and not be afraid of telling his family, and the world, who he really was.Blake is now married to political drag champion Marti Gould Cummings, and his father even walked him down the aisle!  While Blake and his family are examples of how blood relatives can eventually come around,  it is always your choice if you choose to let them back in and to also have boundaries and decide the kind of relationship you want to have with them.******About Blake AllenBlake Allen, PhD(c) is an internationally recognized, award-winning composer, musician, orchestrator, and educator. Allen has performed on and off Broadway and at many major music halls around the country including Carnegie Hall, Dr. Phillips Center, Strathmore Music Center, Kennedy Center, as well as on and off Broadway.Allen has 4 chart-topping albums, with his autobiographical musical-opera the shards of an honor code junkie (#1 Classical Charts and the #1 new cast album on Billboard) garnering 4 million streams. He currently is traveling around the globe with RuPaul’s Drag Race star, Tina Burner, as their music director and collaborator, with their latest show Mix Queen: A Relationship Mixtape topping the comedy charts. Allen also frequently can be heard performing viola with the New York City Ballet and on the Seven Seas on VACAYA with their spouse, Marti Gould Cummings.
Robert Oliver - Esteemable Acts
Jul 7 2022
Robert Oliver - Esteemable Acts
This week on Redefining Family Jonathan opens the episode talking about the very scary state of our country and worries for our future.  Jonathan then interviews Robert Oliver, LGBTQ advocate, political organizer, and is also running for the West Hollywood City Council.  Robert opens up about always knowing he was gay but also feeling like an outcast.   Robert was raised in a reform, Jewish family, that was very accepting, and he explains the amazing values that were bestowed upon him, like doing a Mitzvah.Jonathan and Robert then talk about the fact just because you are related to someone, it does not mean that you should accept abuse from them.  Robert explains that self-esteem comes from estimable acts, it comes from within.******About Robert OliverRobert is a passionate activist and political organizer. Coming from a family of immigrants who fled persecution, Robert has always felt a personal responsibility to fight injustice against anyone. After coming out at 14, Robert took to the streets, organizing for marriage equality and LGBT rights, and against the Bush-era wars. As a student, he worked full-time on the No on Proposition 8 campaign, as well as Pacific Pride Foundation, Santa Barbara’s LGBTQ Center. His professional career also includes working for a U.S. Senator, a Los Angeles City Councilmember, and the LA Jewish Federation. Along with his husband and their adopted bulldog-mix, Robert lives in West Hollywood, where he previously served on the West Hollywood Lesbian and Gay Advisory Board, and represented West Hollywood on the LA County West Vector Control District Board. Robert currently serves on the city’s Public Safety Commission, where he has been an advocate for reimagining policing and public safety, as well as underrepresented members of the community. Robert is running for West Hollywood City Council in the November 2022 election.
Laura-Rose Thorogood - LGBT Mummies
Jun 27 2022
Laura-Rose Thorogood - LGBT Mummies
This week on "Redefining Family" Jonathan opens the episode by discussing the devastating overturn of Roe Vs. Wade and where we go from here.He is then joined by Laura-Rose Thorogood.  Laura-Rose Thorogood, the founder of the LGBT Mummies , which is an organization based in the UK but provides support worldwide for LGBTQ women wanting to start a family.   Laura-Rose did not officially come out until she was 29 years old due to a lot of self-loathing and trying to understand her identity.    After she met her wife, they decided to go on a fertility journey, which was difficult to say to least.  She discusses their struggles with IVF as lesbians and how they powered through and went on to have five beautiful children.Laura-Rose shares the struggles not only lesbians, but trans and non-binary individuals face, not only with fertility, but with discrimination in those areas as well.******About Laura-Rose ThorogoodLaura-Rose Thorogood is a married lesbian mother of five children by IUI through a fertility clinic.  Finding a lack of support, information & community when she & her wife started their path to parenthood, they decided to set up an organization to provide just that. She is the Founder of The LGBT Mummies , a global organization that supports LGBT+ women & people on the path to parenthood. She is an LGBT+ Family Activist, Fertility & Mental Health Advocate & Campaigner for Policy Change for LGBT+ families globally. She works directly with the NHS, & other global organizations & the UK Government to improve policies, support & visibility of LGBT+ families on the path to parenthood through pregnancy, birth & general healthcare.https://lgbtmummies.com
Arsham Parsi - Consequences Of Being Gay In Iran
Jun 22 2022
Arsham Parsi - Consequences Of Being Gay In Iran
This week Jonathan speaks with Arsham Parsi,  an Iranian LGBT human rights activist living in exile in Canada.   Arsham discusses when he first realized he was gay and what it was like growing up in Iran knowing he was different.  Arsham discusses the consequences of being gay in Iran, fleeing the country and how his family had to flee soon after.  He also discusses his relationship with his family, what his life has looked like since he had to flee Iran, and all of the work he does to help others like him.******About  Arsham Parsi Arsham Parsi is an Iranian queer rights activist who was born in Shiraz, the largest city in the Islamic Republic of Iran.He is the founder and head of the Iranian Railroad for Queer Refugees an international non-profit organization based in Toronto, Canada that is helping Iranian queers and those who escaped Iran on the basis of their sexual orientation, gender identity and expression.He is currently living in exile in Canada, but whilst still living in Iran in 2001 he started Rangin Kamin (Rainbow Group), a group for LGBTQ Iranians which he later renamed Persian Gay and Lesbian Organization, and then again as the Iranian Queer Organization (IRQO). Because homosexuality is illegal in Iran and can be punished with death, Parsi registered the organization in Norway and kept most of his LGBTQ activism to online spaces, where he operated a chatroom for queer Iranians.Parsi himself fled to Turkey in 2005, claimed refugee status, and was eventually resettled in Toronto, where he founded a new organization, the International Railroad for Queer Refugees (IRQR).The organization assists LGBTQ refugees who have fled their home countries because of their identities and are currently living in Turkey. The organization provides food, shelter, guidance, and education until they are eventually resettled.His work has earned him several human rights awards including the 2008 Felipa de Souza Award from the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission and the 2008 Pride Toronto Award.His 2015 book, Exiled for Love: The Journer of an Iranian Queer Activist, chronicles Parsi’s incredible journey from his first understanding of his sexual orientation to his eventual exile. It explores the reality for LGBT people in Iran through his personal experiences.
Jonathan Alexander - Learning To Accept Yourself
Jun 14 2022
Jonathan Alexander - Learning To Accept Yourself
This week on Redefining Family Jonathan interviews author Jonathan Alexander.   Jonathan first talks about his struggles growing up in the deep south, especially once he decided he wanted to come out.  He turned 18 at the beginning of the AIDS epidemic and he tried to come out in college, however there was no real support or community for LGBTQ+ individuals.  Jonathan then discusses how he ended up marrying a woman and the realizations they both came to about their relationship before the split.   Additionally, Jonathan talks about learning to love himself as a kid and his close relationship with his mother.******About Jonathan AlexanderJonathan Alexander is a writer living in Southern California where he is Chancellor’s Professor of English at the University of California, Irvine. He is the author, co-author, or editor of twenty-one books. His cultural journalism has been widely published, especially in the Los Angeles Review of Books (LARB) for which he is the Special Projects Editor. He is also the host of LARB’s “Writing Sex,” a YouTube series of short interviews with contemporary writers on sex and sexuality. (Previous guests include Garth Greenwell, Andre Aciman, and Dennis Cooper.) LARB founding editor Tom Lutz has called Alexander one of “our finest essayists.” He lives with his husband and cat, and when not writing, dabbles in watercolors and plays piano in a music ensemble with friends. For more about Jonathan Alexander and his books please visit www.thecreeptrilogy.com and www.the-blank-page.com.Twitter: @profjalexanderInstagram: profjalexanderART
Calvin Cato - Learning To Love Yourself
May 23 2022
Calvin Cato - Learning To Love Yourself
On this episode of Redefining Family, Jonathan first opens up about the boundaries he has had to create with his family to protect himself, which included a recent interaction with a close friend of his father's.  Jonathan then gets the chance to speak with standup comedian and LGBTQ+ activist Calvin Cato.  Calvin first talks about his upbringing, not being exposed to the gay community as a kid and the homophobia that existed in his family of immigrant parents.   He talks about how he finally started to understand what being gay meant, his first sexual experience and then trying to reinvent himself as a straight man in college.Calvin also shares the story of losing his father and the ways in which he did and did not come out to him before his passing.******About Calvin CatoCalvin S. Cato is a comedian, storyteller, and rare-times actor based in New York City. He has been heard on Sirius XM and has appeared on Oxygen, National Geographic, Netflix and a pilot for Vice Media called Emergency Black Meeting. He has performed in numerous festivals including San Francisco Sketchfest, FlameCon, Brooklyn Pride, Women In Comedy Festival, and the Gotham Storytelling Festival. In 2017, Calvin was named one of Time Out New York’s Queer Comics Of Color To Watch. Most recently he has been published in Kweendom, an anthology of queer comedic essays. He recently wrapped up hosting and producing a daily online comedy talk show on RushTix.com called The Calvin Cato Show.
Erick Matos - Showing Up For The Ones You Love
May 16 2022
Erick Matos - Showing Up For The Ones You Love
On this week's episode of Redefining Family, Jonathan starts the show by opening up about his time at The Men Having Babies Conference in San Fransisco.   Jonathan then has a wonderful conversation with Erick Matos, an advocate for the LGBTQ+ community and a public policy specialist with nearly a decade of experience in state and local government.Erick opens up about what it was like growing up in a religious family in a small town, and when it was that he first realized that he was gay.  He talks about everything from the desire to be a good Christian son, to his first closeted relationship in college, to then finally deciding that he wanted to live authentically.Erick also talks about the importance of having a close circle to support you, whether they are blood relatives or not.  And of course, how to show up for the ones you love.******About Erick MatosErick Matos (he/him/his) is a public policy specialist with nearly a decade of experience in state and local government. He currently works for a public health insurance plan that provides affordable coverage to over 2 million low income Los Angeles County residents. He holds a Master’s Degree in Public Health, with a concentration in Health Services and Policy from the University of Southern California. Erick grew up in a religious family in Central California, having struggled internally for years before finally accepting his identity as a gay man. He lives in West Hollywood with his partner Jon and their beloved dog Niko.
Kathy Kiger - Coming Out Later In Life
May 10 2022
Kathy Kiger - Coming Out Later In Life
On this week's episode of "Redefining Family" Jonathan starts off the show by talking about how he felt like he came out later in life when he was in his 20's.  However, after talking to this week's guest Kathy Kiger, he realized that there are people that come out even later than he did, and wow, does Kathy have a story to tell.Kathy grew up in Texas to a very religious family, and she felt as though religion was forced on her.  She felt like her whole life she was "pushing the gay down", not consciously acknowledging her true sexual preferences.  She then got married, had 4 kids, and one day she had an epiphany....she was a lesbian, and yes, she was fifty years old.  Kathy discusses what it was like coming out to her family, and how to her surprise, several of her kids came out when she came out to them.  She then gets into what her current relationship with her ex husband and the rest of her family is like and how her life has changed for the better.******About Kathy KigerKathy Kiger is a copywriter in the holistic health space. She writes blogs, emails, and sales pages for nutritionists, dietitians, and other health professionals. Kathy has wandered the career path extensively over the years as a private flute teacher, public school educator, natural childbirth instructor, and nutritional therapist. Kathy was raised as an evangelical Christian and dutifully followed all the rules — from homeschooling her kids and baking her own bread to suppressing her sexual orientation for decades. After being married for almost 15 years, and then divorced for 10, Kathy finally had her “holy shit I’m a lesbian” day in early 2021. She is a single mom with 4 kids ages 15 - 23, many of whom are also queer.Kathy has recently started the Better Late Than Straight blog and email digest where she shares her own insights as a late-blooming lesbian, along with resources, and the stories of other women who have embraced their queerness later in life.https://www.betterlatethanstraight.com
Rev. Naomi Washington-Leapheart - Sisterly Love
May 3 2022
Rev. Naomi Washington-Leapheart - Sisterly Love
On this week's  Redefining Family, Jonathan opens the episode with an update on his life, talking about finding a surrogate and unexpected twists and turns along the way.Jonathan then brings on his amazing guest, Rev. Naomi Washington-Leapheart.  Naomi's list of accolades and accomplishments is long and ever so impressive.  However what's more impressive are Naomi's powerful messages , the way she came into her work and the beautiful life she lives today.  We also discuss what it was like for Naomi to not just come out to her family, but to the public as well.  It was not easy, however Naomi has faced any hardship she has faced with love, wisdom and acceptance.*******About Rev. Naomi Washington-LeapheartNaomi Washington-Leapheart, a daughter of Detroit, is an adjunct faculty member in the Theology and Religious Studies department at Villanova University.Most recently, Naomi was the Faith Outreach Director at the National LGBTQ Task Force. Prior to working at the Task Force, she was the suburban community organizer for POWER, a multi-faith, multi-racial network of congregations in Metro Philadelphia. She also served as Co-Pastor and Minister of Music at the Wisdom’s Table at St. Peter’s United Church of Christ. She is affiliated with the Fellowship of Affirming Ministries and the United Church of Christ, and earned the Master of Divinity degree from Lancaster Theological Seminary in 2016.Naomi’s work is included in the volume,”From Generation to Generation: A Commemorative Collection of African American Millennial Sermons from the Festival of Preachers 2010-2015, a rare and unique compilation of what the nation’s most promising young African-American ministers are thinking and proclaiming about the Christian faith (Chalice Press, 2015).Naomi shares her life with her wife, Kentina, a chaplain and religious educator. Together, they are raising a curious, energetic, future Oscar-winning 5th grader, Sophia.
Dr. Jamie M Grant - It Takes A Village
Apr 27 2022
Dr. Jamie M Grant - It Takes A Village
This week Jonathan opens the episode by talking about how he has always felt supported by his ancestors, but some people have showed up negatively in his past, so he has had to make some tough decisions.  That being said, he has no regrets.ç  Having survived sexist violence and anti-lesbian disownment as a youth, Dr. Grant became a go-to resource on gender and sex among her peers and colleagues as a matter of survival.   Jamie is now a mom in a biracial parenting partnership, raising a white son (23) and a Black, mixed-race daughter (14).*******About Jamie Jaime Grant was the Policy Institute Director at the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and the founding Executive Director of the Arcus Center for Social Justice Leadership. Currently she is the director of the research director for the National LGBTQ+ Women's Community Survey.  She holds a Ph.D. in women’s studies from the Union Institute. For six years she directed the Union Institute's Center for Women, the nation's only academic women's center dedicated to collaborations between scholars and activists. Her articles on transformational organizations and coalition work have been published in major academic journals and anthologies. Grant has offered a course in social movements at Georgetown University and Kalamazoo College and workshops on gender expression and sexuality at Whitman Walker’s Lesbian Services Program and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force's Creating Change Conference. She has served as a program designer and facilitator for the Ford Foundation’s signature leadership program, Leadership for a Changing World, at the Advocacy Institute.
Zak Krevitt - Queer Expression
Apr 19 2022
Zak Krevitt - Queer Expression
On this week's episode of Redefining Family Jonathan had the pleasure of speaking with  photographer, activist and artist Zak Krevitt.  Zak opens up about his teen years, what it was like coming out to his family and his  introduction to West Hollywood nightlife when he was just a teen.  He then talks about the underground scenes he has been a part of within the LGBTQ+ community and his current work with the Web3 space where he works with Queer Artists as they try to build a digital museum dedicated to Queer Art and culture.*******About ZakZak Krevitt (b. 1991, Los Angeles) is a longtime advocate for LGBTQ+ communities. For over a decade, he has been working with, marching for, and fundraising alongside his queer community for a variety of related causes. Most recently he has began long distance cycling while shooting, in conjunction with fundraising efforts for HIV/AIDS. His work lives within this passion for queer advocacy, and represents his lived experiences both public and private. The work also deals heavily in concepts of transformation, post-humanism, power-exchange, anthropology, and the ability to create authenticity through photographic crystallization of reified desire. Krevitt is a Professor at the School of Visual Arts Department of Photo and Video in NYC under the guidance of Joseph Maida. He hopes to impart a spirit of activism, adventure, community and creative expansion into his students.Zak InstagramZak WebsiteRedefining Family Facebook
Stan Zimmerman - Our Golden Girls
Apr 11 2022
Stan Zimmerman - Our Golden Girls
On this very special episode of Redefining Family, Jonathan starts  by talking about his dear friend Julie, who sadly passed away. last year of cancer.  Julie was in love with EVERYTHING Golden Girls.  She went on a Golden Girls cruise and could reference countless episodes. Jonathan then goes on to interview Stan Zimmerman, one of the original writers of Golden Girls and countless other hit shows and films like Roseanne, The Gilmore Girls and A Very Brady Sequel (to name a few).  Stan opens up about what it was like for him growing up, coming out and then becoming one of Hollywood's most beloved writers.  They also discuss why gay men connected to The Golden Girls so much and the family and life that Stan has created for himself within the LGBTQ+ community.  This episode is for you Julie! *******About StanAlong with his writing partner James Berg, Stan's worked on many television series, including season one of The Golden Girls, Brothers, Fame, Hooperman, Something Wilder, Roseanne, Wanda at Large and the highly successful fifth season of Gilmore Girls. They penned the "Norman Mailer, I'm Pregnant" episode. Z&B (as they're also known) have 2 WGA nominations to their credit -- "Rose's Mother" from The Golden Girls and the other for "Don't Ask, Don't Tell", the infamous lesbian kiss episode of Roseanne.He will also be mentoring writers at a castle in France in May 2022. Stan recently signed a deal with Indigo River to publish his book, "The Girls: From Golden to Gilmore". In it, he will tell stories about all the wonderful women he's worked with. And Roseanne.