“God, the first statement [of the episode] irritated me” says Kelly as she straps in for "The Mother of All Specials", Dance Mom's own Mother's Day celebration. For a show with plenty of moms you'd imagine the producers could focus in on pretty much any one of them, and yet this is an Abby centric episode. As Abby says, "Whom knows more about being a mother than Abby Lee Miller?" As these Bitches would like to point out, Abby does not have kids! But Abby does have her own mother, Maryen Lorrain Miller, whom she heads out to visit as clips about motherhood from previous seasons play out with new Abby "insights".

We would sincerely like to know how much Abby was paid to say nice things, as she laboriously details how caring of a pseudo-mother she has been to the girls of the ALDC. She reframes past events where she was paid to be nice as signs of her benevolence, yet still manages too sprinkle a few insults towards Brooke in there.

Quotes

• “This teacher walked by because we have a director’s lounge…and she had a coffee cup. She walked by and I’m like, “I’m so glad you went to the director’s lounge!” and she looked at me and was like,”You know this isn’t coffee right?” Nobody ever has coffee in those. Fuck no! Not at 2 o’clock at a dance competition are you kidding?" (06:42-07:04 | Christi & Kelly)
• “They show Melissa pushing Abby in the pool, which I think is the best moment in my life. But did you notice that Melissa is the one they told to push her in the pool, because if I had pushed her into the pool she’d have probably killed me!” (18:07-18:20 | Kelly)
• “[Abby] says in her interview, “My mother showered her students with love and kindness. She’s a very giving woman and I think I picked up a few of those qualities to!” HA HA! Then they go to the one/only moment Abby ever did anything nice with our kids. And she did not set that up! She didn’t have anything to do with it other than getting paid.” (43:10-43:29 | Christi & Kelly)
• “I never wanted her to look back and be like, “Oh I didn’t get to go to my 8th grade farewell because you made me work!” Right. And you did do a good job of making sure they did that but it’s funny because it’s like: Well, she might have not gone to her 8th grade farewell, but she went to Teen Choice, you know!” (51:44-52:04 | Christi & Kelly)

Links

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