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Trigger Warning  for anyone involved in the Chernobyl disaster or the "The People vs Mickey Mouse" Trial - we're with you, Comrades!

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The ineffectiveness of the answer may surprise you!We're back after a seasonal (read: COVID-19) hiatus and the failed piloting of another cursed format, absolutely and Honestly of our own frEe wilL and not out of fear of any Particular Russian tyrant. This week, after a brief comedic foray into the current geopolitical landscape to try and lighten it the fuck up a bit, we explore the adventures of everyone's favourite not-so-much-a cannibal Robert Maudsley also known as the "Brain Eater" for reasons that completely allude us, and that's not even a little bit of a joke.  So, join us on this journey from his extremely depressing early days, to his not-so-great teen years, to his absolute shit show of an adulthood there has always been one constant: Nuns! Just sayin'.  In these times of potential missile strikes, prudish green M&Ms, and a Minnie Mouse from HR, aren't you glad to have us back all the same?www.instagram.com/screamqueenspodcasting

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Does humming the song protect you from copyright infringement laws? We hope so, because we celebrate being the 63rd highest ranking podcast in Ecuador by attempting to hum "Ecuador" by Sash!, which turns out to be pretty much impossible.Further celebrations are called for because in an incredibly rare occurrence this week we talk about what we said we were go to talk about - three cheers for basic planning and follow through!This week we discuss the 2021 film The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It, released earlier this year. Note that they've stopped including the numeration in the title and that's because aside from The Warrens, tonally this film doesn't seem to belong in this universe at all and clearly they've just tagged it on as a way to cash in on the audience of an established franchise. Based on the real life trial of Arne Cheyenne Johnson (not Jackson), who famously was the first person in US history to use demonic possession as a defense against the charge of murdering his landlord - and who could blame him, amirite ladies? Apparently it was done in England twice before this though, which really makes you wonder.So join us as we take you through the film, all its ridiculousness,  Lorraine's questionable fashion choices, and all Patrick Wilson's handsomeness, in preparation for next week's investigation into the real life case. Waterbeds - one of the few things not to be afraid of. UNTIL NOW.www.instagram.com/screamqueenspodcasting#WheresMyGazeboPatrick?

Are you a "When She was Bad" Hair, or "Amends" Hair? Either way, Sarah Michelle Gellar is never allowed cut her hair again. In keeping with the new format, this week we're following up on last week's episode with the true life story which inspired Scream 4. But of course, this being the Scream franchise, even this murder is extremely meta because it was inspired by the original Scream. So it's very chicken and the egg-y.This week we are discussing the murder of Cassie Jo Stoddart which unfortunately was not committed by a singy-song murder who turned her into a music box. She was a Sagittarius though, so she probably had it coming. Set in a stupid smiling Mormon town which was literally named "Whispering Cliff" as if they weren't expecting fucking horrible things to happen to there. Or maybe Whispering Cliff was a person? We're not sure to be honest. But either way, things play out exactly as you expect - straight out of a horror movie!www.instagram.com/screamqueenspodcasting

Just when you thought it was safe to go back on Spotify! Well surprise Bitch, bet you'd thought you had seen the last of us. Well, that's because we told you it was, but actually did we though? Not officially.We've risen from the dead with Season 2, on our one year Anniversary to be exact (Billy & Stu would approve). It's been a long *checks episode list* six months and we've missed you terribly. You probably didn't notice we were gone, unless you're one of our listeners in Virginia where we're surprisingly popular for some reason, or the Russian bot that's scanning for mentions of their supreme leader. If you're a newbie to the podcast, check out our "Trailer" for Season 2, which is just a "Best of Season 1"  because apparently we don't know what a trailer is. This Season we've decided to blend our love of fictional (mostly) horror with the true life horrors humanity continues to do to each other with episodes comprised of film rewatches alternated with the true crimes they were inspired by/inspired.But if you know what you're in for and for some reason have decided to press on anyway, join us we go back to where it all began, to our namesake (kinda) as we discuss the unsung hero of the Scream franchise: the oft-forgotten and critically under-viewed Scream 4 (2011) which, fun fact, Conor went to see instead of attending a funeral. In anticipation of its long-awaited sequel, we have rewatched, extensively analysed, and discussed the journey of the franchise from a mildly meta iconic horror film, to an overwhelming self-referential metacommentary on the grotesquely overrun remake/reboot Hollywood craze, and SCATHING satire of social media and millennial culture.  We Stan. We can't help but wonder if there are certain "rules" to surviving Season 2 of a podcast, so if any of you know them, please slip into our DMs: www.instagram.com/screamqueenspodcasting

In anticipation of Season 2 of Scream Queens we decided to update our trailer with some of our best bits of Season 1 - because we don't know what a trailer is apparently!We hope you enjoy this something of a recap, timestamps for the episodes are below. Give us a subscribe, or follow us on Instagram @screamqueenspodcasting00:00:25Episode 2 - You're All Going to Die Up There00:07:08Episode 3 - God is Good, God is Kool(aid)00:16:06Episode 4 - You Stay Here and Run the Website00:23:43Episode 5 - Where is My Emotional Support Butter?00:32:44Episode 8 - Why Don't You Come Up to My Crypt and Cut Off My Head Sometime?00:39:51Episode 11 - I Saw Goody Badwife Dancing With the Devil!00:47:19Episode 13 - Soon, Soon, My Little Pink Dahlia00: 57:01Episode 14 - There's Lots of Guys to Meat on Grindr01:06:07Episode 17 - Forty Whacks With a Wet Noodle01:13:23Episode 18 - AHS Season 5 Was Overrated

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Oh you want a synopsis, do ya? Well have ALL THE SYNOPSES IN THE WORLD.So we're gonna keep this short & sweet, because every few weeks we endeavor to keep our episodes to an hour max and then immediately decide to not stick to those rules. So here we have it folks, our short episode of the month, so ignore Dannii's warning at the beginning that this is a long one - it isn't. She also warns it's missing loads of details - it also isn't. This week we're discussing H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H Holmes and his murder hotel. Not to be confused with the murder hotel in American Horror Story: Hotel which also featured a murder hotel that was even more of a murder hotel than this murder hotel, because it was a composite of this murder hotel and another famous murder hotel. Understood? Great!Murder hotel!Meanwhile, Conor discusses his foray into Millionaire Madwoman territory and Dannii just can't wait to visit a literally abandoned town and to be honest we're all going to really miss her, aren't we?  *Crickets*Dannii's dead father also makes an appearance as a potential merch option, for anyone who really wants to test the boundaries of taste and really, really want to be haunted by a man who in no way could possibly approve of a) anything on this podcast, and b) being turned into a literal piece of merch for that podcast he definitely hates from beyond the grave.P.S. Nailed it on the Simpsons Quote Jar thing.

Lizzie Borden took an axe,and gave her mother forty whacks,and when he saw what she had done,she gave her father forty-one.So basically none of that is true whatsoever, but you know what they say: never let the truth get in the way of a good-old terrifying children's song about a violent parenticide! In this episode we tell the story of the homely and quite honestly FREELOADING Borden sisters, who may or may not have brutally murdered their DISGUSTINGLY RICH father and STEPmother. It's with good reason too because these two bitches just weren't bothered getting a) married, b) their own place, or c) A GODDAMN JOB. Did one of them do it alone? Were they in on it together? Did Sister Borden leave town, or did she just tell everyone she did as an alibi? And what are the chances that their moustache-twiddling, cloak-wearing, cane-stomping uncle would be in town that very weekend? It's all highly suspect - which is what makes this episode so fun!We also discuss society's obsession with the wicked stepmother trope and you can probably guess why, which segues into discussions on sex and porn, somehow without mentioning any involving step-family narratives. I mean it was RIGHT THERE.Special appearance by another bumbling police force, though in fairness this time they were just severely hindered by the limitations of science at the time, and their misogynistic opinions of women. Special disappearance by the "sea turtle having sex noise" we threaten to edit into the clip at 18:34 because we definitely did not do that. Just look it up on YouTube. Also featuring the introduction of our Simpsons Quote Jar, where we have to put money into a cup every time that we unauthorizedly use their property without their permission. This will lead to our homelessness, so I don't see this lasting beyond this episode.What the fuck is a wet noodle?

Sophie has been doing a lot of "dr...awings" lately, and we're all very concerned. Don't be fooled, this not an intervention for a listener named Sophie! She genuinely is just drawing and for some reason she's going to draw us, but she hasn't yet so maybe she won't, but she really should. This is a special episode because for the first time ever, Dannii thinks this story is a FAKE, which literally never happens because no matter what she says she has definitely handed her wallet over to a "wallet inspector."In this episode we discuss A (possible) HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT (maybe). This is the story of Carmen and Al Snedeker who moved their family (including their niece for some reason?) from New York City to Connecticut (gross!) because their son was terminally ill (also gross!) to their new house which seemed perfect until immediately after moving in discover that their basement comes with a fully intact embalming operation (so gross!). In a completely unsurprisingly turn of events, moving into a former funeral home leads to some spectacularly outrageous "haunting" events. But first, we get a nice healthy dose of parental denial of things such as whispering wallpaper, being constantly swarmed by an army of black crows, and overt demonic possession. We also play a dangerous game of "If I Quit, Who Would You Replace Me With?" which means this may be the last ever episode of Scream Queens, at least in its current form, because one of us might be dead. Which by the way would be an even better podcast called "Dannii & Conor (Deceased)"Special appearance by a story about a girl we know who accidentally turned into a ghost from a low budget horror movie while attempting to change a bedsheet.P.S. Turns out we're both right. Trisket is meat, Triscuits are biscuits. But Brisket is also meat, but Briscuits are not biscuits. I dare you to count how many words in this synopsis begin with the letter "N" and tell Conor he's wrong.

We're back to the cursed format we're always terrified of doing, particularly one with basically no research either beyond finding a pre-written article - this time not from Good Housekeeping, at least. To be honest we've enough self-researched episodes out there that we can get away with it, unlike that time we did it in our second ever episode.And speaking of cursed formats, we're discussing Cursed Movies - not just of "The Ring" die-when-you-watch-it nature, but also movies that have had HORRIBLE things happen to the people involved in making them, sometimes in goosebump-inducingly coincidental ways - often involving planes for some reason! If the devil does indeed exist, he spends a lot of time hanging around film sets. Though to be honest, if the movie I was watching opened with an 8-minute documentary I wouldn't be waiting seven days to die. Don't worry, we do lament the fact that we totally missed out on an opportunity to have a Valentines themed episode, and as usual about 20 off-topic stories that dramatically increases the runtime of this episode which should have been a short one right up to the 2 hour mark, including our Myers-Briggs Personalities basically because Conor outright refuses to believe that Dannii is an introvert. (Turns out afterwards she is though).Treacle Further.Featuring:Antrum: The Deadliest Film Ever Made (2018)Snuff: An American Cannibale (1976)Poltergeist (1982)The Blair Witch Project (1999)The Omen (1976)The Crow (1994)The Exorcist (1973)Rosemary's Baby (1968)ATUK (----)Dannii Did the Itchy! (2021)

HEYllo whatsupyouguys? Do you remember that episode of the IT Crowd with the cannibal who places a personal ad to find someone to eat? Well, turns out that before Graham Linehan was a transphobic arsehole, he was also not very original.In this episode we explore the case of Armie Ham-eh, I mean Armin Meiwes, a son of a police office who could somehow afford to build a house modelled on a giant Rubix cube who's mother was apparently responsible for turning him into a homosexual cannibal, because you know, it's ALWAYS the mother's fault. He's also a noted Sagittarius, which explains so much.However, our Armie (not THAT Armie) knows his worth and only wants to eat men who actually want him to eat them (you go, girl!) As it turns out an alarming amount of gay men are willing to literally die for the cock, and even have demands about how they want to be served - because gay! So in truly fabulous style, our Armie rolls out the yankee candles, flowers, and literally potato fucking dauphinoise. Honestly! Those gays! Always going the extra mile. Shame he put them in his literal sex dungeon of literal cages and meat hooks. Bringing whole new meaning to a Grindr Meet/Hook-Up.Unsuprisingly, Dannii endorses eating people, and Conor gets annoyed that he is now too old to even get a reply from a literal fucking cannibal on Grindr, if his personal ad was anything to go by. Conor & Danni also explore the luxuries of the Irish prison system, the potential benefits eating dolphins, and how reinstating the death penalty may be what brings us all together again after COVID has been eliminated. We also take on cyber bullies! FUCK YOU CYBER BULLIES.Pay no attention to the cum stains on the mirror.

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