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One day I offered a number of children, a basket filled with tangerines. The basket was passed around and each child took one tangerine and put it in his or her palm.

We each looked at our tangerine, and the children were invited to meditate on its origins. They saw that not only their tangerine, but also its mother, the tangerine tree, with some guidance, they began to visualize the blossoms in the sunshine and in the rain. They saw petals falling down and the tiny fruit appear.

The sunshine and the rain continued, and the tiny tangerine. Now someone has picked it and the tangerine is here. After seeing this, each child was invited to peel the tangerine slowly noticing the mist and the fragrance of the tangerine, and then bring it up to his or her mouth and have a mindful bite in full awareness of the texture and taste of the fruit and the juice coming out.

We ate slowly like that. Tick not.

Welcome to the Imperfect Buddhist, where we discuss present moment awareness and incorporating Zen principles into modern life. My name is Matthew Hawk Mahoney, and today's episode is titled buddhism and food soothing.

My wife and I. Just got back yesterday evening from a trip up to Nashville, Tennessee and Asheville, North Carolina. We spent a couple days in Tennessee with her sister and we did the tourist stuff. Rode one of those buses around and saw the different music history site. So we went to the Pathon, which is a replica of the Pathon in Greece.

I got to see some really historic locations for country music. We went down Music Row, which is interesting because it's like these houses that pretty much like their original studio. There was a house that someone had bought and then used to start recording music, and then someone else came along and bought a house next door so on, so forth.

And you ended up with all. Residential houses starting to be used as studios, so it's interesting. You drive down through there, you're going through a neighborhood, but it's where nationally, worldwide release music is being written and recorded.

Asheville, North Carolina. Right now it's October 17th and the trees are at their peak. Most of the trees, desiduous trees, leaves are changing, so there's orange yellow and browns mountains of these trees. It's just so beautiful

Something else that comes along with vacation is I'm out of my normal.

Routines and it's like, Oh, do you want to go eat Taco Bell or, Where do you wanna eat today?

It's, it's very food centric because you're traveling around and there's all these exciting foods to eat and try.

And so we got home yesterday and I'm noticing my heart is feeling like my literal heart and not, some, not in the spiritual sense. My heart, no, my, my literal heart there's a tightness and then like a little bit of a pinching feeling and it's got me a little bit concerned.

Starting to think about my diet choices on the trip and also leading up to the trip.

Really got me thinking about diet and food and my relationship to food. My wife and I have been talking about doing Whole 30, so it's been on my mind a bit. I've been reflecting on my relationship to food from a young age , my dad would, sit downstairs on his leather chair with the 49ers game on and he'd have chips and salsa.

He'd be dipping a chip in the salsa and popping in his mouth and going, going, going maybe a bag of night. Of course we would sit with him and watch shows and eat chips and salsa. And then my mom, same thing, she would have the TV on and she'd be putting some type of food in her mouth or drinking something.

That's, where we were raised , we'd be watching a movie or something and mom, Oh, you want some ice cream? And so you have some ice cream and you're watching tv and being raised that way. And then all through my teenage years pop in the pizza rolls and the microwave and sit down in front of the TV and eat.

It was TV and food

reflecting on it, it's a

dreamlike experience. There's not a whole lot going on with the

managerial side of my brain. The food's going in, the TV's, images are going by and. I'm in it, but I'm not really aware of what's going on. And so that's how me and my sister were raised or raised around that. And then, hanging out with my grandpa in, my early twenties going over there.

He had the chips and dip thing going on and some type of food while he was watching tv. It was just normal. This seems to be passed on , generationally.

It's such an ingrained habit in my life that it does seem daunting to do something different.

And I don't think it's that

abnormal from what a lot of people in our culture experience or what their relationship is with food. I remember growing up with friends and it's , yeah, you get, you know, your snacks and you sit down and watch movies or TV seems kind of normal. Part of our American society could be part of other societies.

Goes back to conversation I had with Cocke a few weeks ago during one of our meetings. He had mentioned asking if, you know, if you can become aware before you dive into whatever that behavior is.

Whether it's, turning on the tv, you're looking at your phone, or grabbing bowl of chips and sitting down on the couch with the tv, seeing if you can check in with yourself and. examine what's going on inside , where is this behavior coming from? Is it coming from a place of avoidance, trying to avoid something, trying to dull something?

There's nothing wrong with chips and tv.

It's okay to unplug and relax, especially with. Chaotic and busy our world is, it makes sense why people would be drawn towards

Shutting down, the, the prefrontal cortex, the the thinking mind and dulling experience a little bit, putting our attention into some other fantasy world.

So there's a little bit of the. Compassionate side for myself and other people, when our health starts to become jeopardized, like me, where my heart is like, Oh, what are you doing man? And , I'm starting to get a little bit of a belly , a lot of emotional stuff, from sitting in front of the TV and, and using food to soo.

Our emotions a lot, a lot of negative can come from that. So when you start to experience that,

it's an opportunity to start asking some questions.

This is an area of my life that , has kind of gone unexamined. For all my life, because it was normal and in some ways it's normal in a lot of families, so it's not something that you can really quote unquote, have a problem with or most people have a problem with. It's gone onto the radar, but being more aware in general, I do notice that the attention and awareness and spirituality seem to just go, bam. They're just gone.

Some people really suffer with extreme food addiction and eating disorders. A lot of people, depending on how you look at our use of food in society now, maybe even have a mild food disorder.

My relationship to food is

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a bit detached. Quite a really detached . In my early twenties I was a vegetarian I'd done that for multiple reasons. I was a vegetarian for I think, two or three years went through some experiences where, I was hungry and there was meat on the table I was like, Yeah, I should probably, I should probably eat.

That's how it was reintroduced. I did feel better. I actually noticed there was some cognitive and energy benefits to having some animal protein then all bets were off. I went back to eating whatever meat was around buying meat, ground beef. Not, not too much pork usually.

Chicken of course, fish, all that.

It's not really something I've thought much about over the last six or seven years. Amanda and I, on our trip, we were driving to a hiking location and we saw a couple cattle trailers . We were pulled next to one of the cattle trailers and we looked over and see all this poop coming up out of the cracks of this trailer.

We're sitting in our car, in traffic next to this cattle trailer, and there's a little opening I look over and I see this big eye with long eyelashes, brown looking out right at me. And it was a cow. And I just sensed, this connection with the animal, like you would with a dog or a cat, or pet, that there's this being in there.

There's a spirit. And I'm not getting too biblical or spiritual, but you know, that there's a, there's a presence in that animal that is experiencing life too to whatever degree. It just hit me, all this blind consumption that I'd been doing of, buying ground beef or buying steaks and this consumers mindset.

Like, Oh, let's go down. Outback and have a steak. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Real fun. Of course I love steak. Who doesn't love steak? But I just had that recognition that there was a disconnection with the food, where the food was coming from and potentially the suffering that is involved in that food. I do believe that humans are designed to eat animal protein.

But doesn't feel natural to be so disconnected from the food or the meat that we eat, that we just are, We don't recognize the suffering involved

I looked at Amanda and I was like, you know, what are we, should we be done with red meat? Opportunistic in a sense where we're, we're not gonna buy it unless it's from a source that takes care of the animal involved.

We don't think that there's anything inherently wrong with consuming meat, but the suffering that's involved, especially in these animals, like a cow consumerism, pushing for smaller containers, cheaper foods. More packed traveling conditions inhumane slaughter, things like that. It's a matter of do I want to be involved with that? That's another level of awareness. When it comes to food.

In a lot of ways, we're very disconnected. Where our food comes from, how and when we consume . It seems rare that Amanda and I choose to sit at the table over sitting at the couch, I'm sure that's the, the case for a lot of people after a busy day, 40 hour week, you know, eight hour workday and being so bombarded with people.

Customer service. I know a lot of you are caught in customer service, jobs, face to face interaction. It's almost feels like the last thing you wanna do is sit down at the table and talk to another person, even if that person is your husband or wife or roommate or partner. And so we're, as a society, pushed to.

Be detached in a way. Our systems are kind of so overloaded with stuff coming in, ads, people

that we do just want to shut down the thinking part of ourself, the part of ourselves that makes decisions and, Needs to navigate the complicated emotions of other people.

This is a new area of practice for me, an area where I'm looking to reclaim some of my humanity and some of my awareness. It's gonna be a little bit of a journey and maybe. This part of a Multier episode. Right now this is phase zero where I'm becoming aware of the lack of awareness on my part.

Becoming a aware of the patterns that have been set from such a young age. So this will be an experiment. It's gonna be interesting cuz I don't know if I've ever worked on something that I've taken part in since, as long as I can remember. As young as I was able to put food in my mouth and watch tv.

This has been a thing that I've been doing, so it will be interesting. It's going to be exploratory. I'm thinking I'm gonna end this one here soon, since I don't really have much headway on it when it comes to our spiritual lives and food soothing, since I'm still learning about it.

But, That's what the imperfect Buddhist is all about. It's about me saying, Hey, I suck at this thing. Sometimes . And maybe making you feel a little bit less alone if it's something that you experience as well. So we can kind of walk this path together, that we can learn about what it means to bring presence and zen principles.

Things that they would practice in a monastic environment into our daily lives. What, is the, kernel of the monastic practices that we can kind of translate into our modern American life. my plan, I'm gonna try a couple things. I am considering when I have a meal, just set a timer for like three minutes. At the beginning of each meal , and set aside that time to just be mindful of the food that I'm eating.

The bites, the flavor, the temperature, the smell maybe where the food came from. And reflecting on that as I eat for at least three minutes. And maybe that would get the ball rolling

ignite some embers of awareness and I might be naturally drawn towards enjoying the food in that way instead of forcing myself to the rest of the time. But that's just an idea. , we will see. Another thing that I have, I really enjoyed that. Something you might wanna try. At the beginning of this podcast, I had read something Fromt Han about how he did these tangerine meditations with young kids.

I've done the same, you know, I bought those cutie small little oranges from the produce section

Tangerines. Like you would with any other meditation you set some time aside, quiet place or wherever you are, and be mindfully aware. As you peel the tangerine, you smell it, you could see like the little spray or droplets that come out as you peel the skin away Feel it in your hand. And then you could, tear one off, put it in your mouth, feel the texture, bite into it, and allow the juice and flavor in your mouth to permeate, really experience it and just be, bring as much attention as you can to that flavor and that food

I have noticed feelings of ecstasy doing that. Like, whoa, this. Really powerful and significant, and was actually one of the more profound meditation experiences I've had. Now that I'm talking about it, There's something, it's, it's as maybe you've noticed in your practice when you sit down, a lot of people think like, Whoa, I'm sitting here with my eyes closed.

It's just dark. But as you actually sit, you start to notice these depth. Of worlds that exist within you, within anything that actually receives your attention. If you're an artist, you know this as well, where you start to really pay attention to music or songwriting. And as you, you put more attention into it, you realize, wow, there's this whole world that can exist in, a couple moments within a song.

And so our food is the same way that there's, there's actually a true depth to the food. There's there's so much there to experience and in my current habitual way of experiencing food, it's very surface level.

I'm gonna explore that a bit and I'll, I'll report back maybe in a couple episodes on how it's going. So let's round out this episode with three minutes of present moment awareness meditation. You don't have to be sitting to do this necessarily. You could be at your work at your computer maybe you're shelving books, working at a bookstore, putting away milk cartons on a grocery store shelf, or, waiting for your next client to show up at the.

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But let's take three minutes and become present wherever we are. See if we can notice our breath. Notice the sounds around us, the people around us, whatever the present moment sensations brings to us. Let's see if we can witness those things without judgment and seeing them with a sense of beginner's mind.

So let's start.

All right. Well, thanks for joining me on today's episode and I look forward to talking with you next time. Take.

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