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When you do something, you should burn yourself up completely, like a good bonfire, leaving no trace of yourself. Shunryu Suzuki

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Welcome friends and travelers along the path. This is the imperfect Buddhist. I'm your host, Matthew Hock Mahoney, and today's episode is titled Buddhism and Leadership, leading by example and the ripple effect.

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Leading by example can have profound impacts on our relationships, our spiritual development, and the world around us. In a time where so many people, including myself sometimes, want to inspire action in others around them through using force or coercion of some sort, or I guess telling other people how to think and act. I believe leading by example is the ultimate way to make change in the world.

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This is something that I've been thinking about quite a bit lately, especially with all of the political unrest and people screaming at each other across the aisles on how we should think about gay rights or how we should deal with women's rights and their right to bodily autonomy with abortion. Bud Light in an attempt to appeal to a different demographic, adding certain controversial imagery.

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and messaging to their cans and being ostracized by both sides of the argument.

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with things like climate change and starting to think a little bit about how can I play a part in changing people's thoughts around me that don't agree with me. My uncle Tim, for instance, I visited with him on 4th of July and he has some very strong opinions about climate change, that it is a conspiracy, that all climate scientists or the ones that are reporting on this are actually funded by the government. And so how can I get him to see things the way that I see them? How can I get him to see?

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The science that says, Uncle Tim, our oceans are hotter than they've ever been. Uncle Tim, we've never seen weather patterns like this ever. Uncle Tim, how are they keeping it quiet that certain scientists have been receiving this money? I wanna go into this argument and start to tell him how to think about the subject. So I started thinking more about what does leading by example mean in this situation? Segment one.

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the desire to change others and leading by example.

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It's pretty normal to wanna change others instead of leading by example. Maybe it takes less energy or we have the illusion that it takes less energy that if I could just lambast my Uncle Tim, bludgeon him to fucking death with scientific data. The numbers, Uncle Tim's go to the beach, let's go to the water. Dip your toes in, how hot does it feel? Tim, I want you to see things the way that I see them.

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Maybe it's for some fucked up reason of control. Maybe it's for some other daddy issue. Or maybe it's because I truly care about the environment and I'm freaked out by what's happening and someone I love, my uncle Tim, doesn't see it. And it scares me that he doesn't see it. And I want someone I love to see it and to work with me to make a better situation. Maybe it's easier for me to

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Point out to Uncle Tim all this stuff and talk about the science, talk about the data, because it's really hard for me to look at my own life and see how am I playing a part in making the situation worse? How am I a contributor to climate change? What are the things that I'm doing or that I could change that would make the situation better? Why do I want to control? Why do I want to bludgeon with my ideas, convince, influence? What are these desires?

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where actions come from. Looking inside, they come from a strongly held belief, one that I am certain is correct. So there might be the desire to have someone I love or care about see something the way that I see it. Why is that important? Because if they don't believe what I believe, maybe that means they're lower intelligence and I just can't stand for that. Or maybe it's some type of ego gratification where

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If they're disagreeing with me, then maybe that means I'm wrong somehow and I can't stand for that. And it's also an attachment to a certain outcome. I want the earth to sustain life, human life. I want that. I desire that. I will fight for that. And it's not such a bad attachment, but in Buddhism it is an attachment. And maybe some would say it is a wish for well-being of others, a form of metta, form of love. And that could also be true.

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But only we can know by seeing ourselves truly. Trying to change others through force has its limitations. How about you? Someone says, hey, Sarah, hey, Mike, hey, John, hey, Christy. Hey, Matt, you're doing that wrong. This is the way to do it. I can't believe you ever tried it that way. Let me show you the right way to do it. And I never want to see you do it that way ever again. You're an idiot for thinking that. What does that bring up for you?

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And of course that's an extreme version, but of course it brings up resentment, brings up a pushback, and a lot of times it strengthens the behavior we wish to see changed, strengthens the ideas or beliefs in other people's that we wish to see changed, and it grains those things deeper in other people. So a lot of the times it has a counteractive effect. This idea that we're going to change them, make them better, make them believe what we believe doesn't seem to work.

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Segment 2, the 100 year old man's unintentional inspiration, aka I want to pet dogs.

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June 23rd, 2023, 8 a.m. He wanted to pet dogs for his 100th birthday, hundreds lined up. Allison Moore was stunned when more than 200 canines congregated waiting patiently for their turn to be petted by her father. When Allison Moore began brainstorming ideas for her father's 100th birthday celebration, there was a non-negotiable for the festivities. Dogs needed to be there, as many pooches as possible.

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Quote, he just love, love, loves dogs, Alison Moore 60 said of her dad, Robert Moore, who turned 100 on June 14th. Quote, every dog he sees, he wants to pet. He has been like this his whole life, end quote. In addition to a big family dinner on his birthday, Alison Moore and her two siblings wanted to do something extra to mark the milestone. Sadly, a lot of his best friends aren't with us anymore, she said. So she decided dogs would have to do.

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Six days before the celebration, Allison Moore posted on the Neighborhood Network site next door, as well as on Facebook, explaining her idea and asking for dogs in San Jose to stop by for a pet parade on June 17th. People started sharing her posts and other local groups on social media. Quote, We live in a nice little community and I thought I could get some of my neighbors and friends to come.

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End quote, said Allison Moore, adding that she planned for her father to sit outside her home with a banner and assemble a small line of dogs for him to admire and cuddle. Human treats and dog treats would be served. Since the posts got some attraction, Allison Moore said she expected 20, maybe 30 dogs to show up. She was stunned when, shortly after the parade started at 11 a.m., more than 200 canines congregated, waiting patiently for their turn to be petted by her father. Quote, I was shocked, end quote.

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said Allison Moore, explaining that some people drove more than 10 miles to attend the celebration. Her father, who was the Dean of Applied Sciences and Arts of San Jose State University for 25 years, was deeply touched by the turnout. Quote, he was so overwhelmed, end quote. His daughter said, he was just so sweet in talking to the kids and petting all the dogs and saying their names. It was so much fun, end quote.

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Even though the event was intended to bring joy to Robert Moore, it ended up also being a delightful day for the people who attended, including Roger O'Brien, 88, who has Alzheimer's disease. His daughter, Denise O'Brien, brought him in his geriatric recliner, along with his dog Lucky, to the parade. Quote, it was the most beautiful thing, end quote, said Denise O'Brien, who owns a dog care company, Silicon Valley Watch Dogs.

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and stumbled upon Alison Moore's post on Nextdoor. It's been a long time since I saw my dad smile for 90 minutes straight," end quote. Her father has been suffering from Alzheimer's for the last 11 years. Denise O'Brien said, adding that he only remembers his wife's name and his dog's name. He proudly introduced Lucky to everyone at the parade. This made not just my dad's day, but his whole year. TheWashingtonPost.com by Sydney Page, June 23rd, 2023.

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Thank you.

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This guy loved dogs. He found a lot of joy in petting dogs, seeing dogs, talking to dogs. Was he out to change the world or get in the news or convince other people that, hey, the present moment is worth enjoying? Hey, dogs are part of that present moment. Nope, he just enjoyed dogs. He enjoyed petting dogs. He enjoyed the simple things in life. And in turn, he values those simple things by valuing something simple and real.

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He enjoyed it and through this big story that got out, now he's inspiring other people to enjoy the simple things in life like petting dogs. It's an unintentional ripple effect that can't help but have a subconscious impact on anybody that reads it. Maybe most people that read that story wouldn't think, hey, I should be more present and enjoy what's in front of me. This guy could have done anything. I don't know anything, but he decided on his 100th birthday to pet dogs.

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Maybe this 100 year old knows something, I don't know. But it inspired me. Started to make me think a little bit about the climate change stuff. I started thinking to myself, maybe I'm coming at it backwards.

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Friday morning, my wife and I, we started doing this early morning beach walk before we go to work. And I was grumpy this morning. I didn't want to get up. I was up late the night before playing Magic the Gathering Arena. We got to the beach and we were walking and I was watching my breath and feeling a little bit of water at my ankles and sand in my toes. Listening to the rushing water that built up in these little pools that would drain back into the ocean.

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all enveloping feeling and I was enjoying it so thoroughly as we're walking. The sun's starting to come out, be a little bit more overhead, and I'm just enjoying it so much. And this story, this man came to me, I started thinking about how he enjoyed petting dogs and he probably inspired a lot of people more so than someone just flat out telling you that you should be present and enjoy the small things. He led by example. So my wife and I were talking about Uncle Tim and his ideas of climate change.

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My wife, I said, do I believe humanity is something worth saving? Yeah, I do. Are we attached to one expression of what this world does? Well, yeah, certainly, because we're attached to this expression of our planet because it led to human life and an abundance of life. Does that mean that's the only expression of this planet that's beautiful? No. But what about the idea of the universe becoming conscious of itself? Dolphins, humans, primates.

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I don't know the awareness that a dragonfly has, but I'm sure it's there to a level. And this current expression of this planet leads to the universe becoming aware of itself and the ability to transcend, to ponder. The universe is pondering itself and I think that's a beautiful thing.

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So I got into this idea of how much do I enjoy nature? Am I walking along and really appreciating the trees, the plants, the water that's around me? Is it something that I'm actually enthralled in? It occurred to me that people aren't gonna do what's necessary until they find value in nature, value in consciousness. And so if they don't have that or see value, then why would they do all this stuff that is pretty inconvenient? It's inconvenient to...

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do some of this climate impact reduction. So what would it look like if I just really enjoyed petting dogs that have a better impact on Uncle Tim and other people that'd like to change their minds?

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Segment 3, the transformative power of leading by example.

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So far, we've talked about concepts of pure enjoyment, the dropping away of desire being present with, or as some would say, being the change we want to see. How does Zen play a part in all this? Or better yet, how does Buddhist principles play a part in this? With the idea or example of the man with the dogs being present, he had a natural connection with and love for dogs. That present moment awareness, being able to tap into this moment and

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be with things, we naturally start to enjoy some things more. We don't experience things on such a surface level and it opens up the possibility for deeper experiences. We start to get in touch with what's going on inside of us. Maybe we have trauma from the past, fears of the future that prevent us from really enjoying anything or caring about anything on a deeper level. Buddhist principles and practices allow us to

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move through some of that and work on our shit so that we can be the person that we want to see in the world. Or to actually just be the person that we are. I read the other day that someone said that spiritual development isn't becoming something new, it's the letting go of everything we're not until our true self is revealed. So I've done some self-reflection during this episode and I want to encourage you to do the same thing. Look at ways that maybe you are.

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trying to be an influencer and get them numbers up on Instagram. I know the grind I've done it to but in what ways can you lead by example letting go of the desire to change. Letting go of the desire connecting more with a principle of love meta inside of yourself and with those around you. How could that have a greater impact?

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If you want to be listened to, try listening to someone else. See what happens. If you want to be loved and accepted for who you are, try doing that with your worst enemy. If you want to see people give a shit about the environment and value it and value human life or the ability to sustain human life, then you should try doing that too. As for myself, I want to see a more awakened, loving world. I want to be a part of that world. I want people to experience peace in their life.

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sense of wholeness because life is way too short to go from desire and sense pleasure from desire to sense pleasure and never have that feeling of wholeness that everything is as it is Complete and you are complete. I'd like a lot of people to experience that but hey How much do I experience that how often am I picking up my phone and looking for some type of? Online purchase that can fulfill me for 10 minutes. How often am I looking forward to some experience or

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trying to disconnect through food because I'm not experiencing my wholeness and deeper connection.

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The chances that we're gonna change someone's strongly held beliefs or opinion about something through argument or force for will is very low. The chances of having positive benefit in the world now through leading by action and leading by example goes up pretty significantly. But there's no guarantee that we will influence any major change in the world. But hey, at least we enjoyed life. At least we lived by the principles that...

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we believed in that maybe we got to pet a couple dogs and really enjoy that.

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Thank you so much for coming and hanging out with me. I have really enjoyed doing this episode and sharing it with you. I hope you have a wonderful week ahead when you're present, that moments of joy spring up, that you get to experience again what it was like to be a kid and love looking at a tree or climbing in a tree or picking fresh plums or riding your bike when through the hair. I hope you have a beautiful week ahead and I will talk to you next week. Bye.

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