Story type: COLD-READ,Multi-chapter, M/M

Summary: Shen Yuan isn't lonely. He's just overseas in a new city, trying to muddle his way through a business degree, and dealing with the side effects of his stupid intestines trying to kill him. So, maybe he sometimes watches ASMR to cope with his too-quiet apartment. Maybe he has a little bit of a parasocial-relationship-thing going on with one particular cooking ASMR channel. It's 2016, who doesn't? The point is, he's content with his quiet life.

And then Shang Qinghua strong-arms him into watching one Hallmark Christmas movie, and it all goes to hell.

Or: Shen Yuan is a Hallmark movie protagonist, Luo Binghe is a Lifetime movie protagonist, and somehow they make it work.

Additional tags: Fluff, Strangers to Lovers, Minor Mòběi-jūn/Shàng Qīnghuá, Minor Liǔ Míngyān/Shā Huálíng, Chronic Illness, ASMR Artist Luo Binghe, food as a love language, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Humor, Liǔ Sibling Solidarity, Asexuality Spectrum, Internalized Acephobia, Internalized Homophobia, Shěn Yuán VS CompHet Death Match, Luò Bīnghé is a combination of Bingge and Bingmei, More angst than anticipated, WARNING:TOOTHBRUSH SHARING

Notes

• ⁠⁠⁠Click here ⁠⁠⁠to listen to the story, "Life is (not) a Hallmark Movie" on A03.
• ⁠⁠⁠Click here ⁠⁠⁠to learn how to navigate A03 (FAQs).

• ⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠ to get links to all my socials.

• This is a Danmei podfic (fanfiction audio reading) inspired the Scum Villain's Self-Saving System: (Ren Zha Fanpai Zijiu Xitong; SVSSS), a Chinese novel series written by the author, Mo Xiang Tong Xiu (MXTX).
• The fanfic is written by ⁠mellicindi. Art also by mellicindi.