🎙️ Welcome to Episode 82 of the Relationships Uncomplicated podcast! In this episode, titled "Overcoming Biases in Infidelity Recovery," host Idit Sharoni, LMFT delves into a topic that's often overlooked but profoundly impactful: the biases surrounding infidelity. 💔 Infidelity doesn't just shake the foundation of relationships—it's the aftermath, the fallout, and the biases that can color our perceptions and decisions. Join Idit as she explores this complex issue with therapist Alana Tokayer, MS, who brings a unique perspective gained from working closely with couples navigating the aftermath of infidelity. 🔍 Together, they uncover societal norms, personal experiences, and therapist biases that shape our understanding of infidelity and its aftermath. Discover why biases towards leaving or staying after infidelity exist, and learn valuable insights into advocating for yourself, whether with friends, family, or therapists, as you navigate the complexities of healing after betrayal. 🍵 Grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and tune in to this enlightening conversation on bias in the aftermath of infidelity. Don't forget to subscribe to the Relationships Uncomplicated podcast for more insightful discussions on relationships and healing. Important links: Infidelity Recovery Program: https://relationshipexpertsonline.com/affair-recovery-programFree 45-minute consultation: https://relationshipexpertsonline.com/consultation Affair Recovery Website: https://relationshipexpertsonline.comMain website: www.relationshipexperts.comShow notes: If you found today's episode valuable, consider leaving a like, comment, and subscribing to our channel for more content. Thank you for joining us on this journey of understanding and healing. #RelationshipsUncomplicated #InfidelityRecovery #SelfAdvocacy #BiasAwareness

In this episode of the Relationships Uncomplicated podcast, host and affair recovery expert Idit Sharoni, LMFT delves into the intricate process of navigating healing when both partners have been unfaithful. Titled "A Guide to Joint Recovery When Infidelity Strikes Both Ways," Idit explores the complexities of mutual infidelity, where betrayal isn't confined to one side. Drawing from her experience as an affair recovery expert, she shares insights on how couples can overcome this challenging situation and rebuild their relationship. Through compassionate storytelling and practical advice, Idit highlights the unique opportunities for growth and healing that arise from shared experiences of betrayal. Join her as she empowers listeners to navigate the aftermath of mutual infidelity with resilience, empathy, and hope.

If you and your partner are navigating the challenging journey of affair recovery, understanding how to rebuild trust after infidelity is crucial. In this episode, we delve into the intricate process of earning back trust that has been lost in a relationship. Join us as we explore the evolution of the concepts of blind trust versus open-eyed trust, drawing from experiences working with couples healing from infidelity. Our discussion takes a unique turn as we question the commonly used term "rebuilding trust" and introduce a more nuanced perspective inspired by an enlightening article by trust expert Rachel Botsman. To shed light on this profound shift in perspective, we are joined by Dr. Yael Haklai-Neagu, one of our lead therapists at Relationship Experts. Together, we unravel the differences between rebuilding and earning trust in the aftermath of infidelity. We draw insights from Botsman's groundbreaking ideas, emphasizing the importance of collaboration in the trust dynamic. Dr. Yael shares her thoughts on the critical roles of the Trust Giver (the hurt partner) and the Trust Receiver (the unfaithful partner) in the healing process. The discussion extends to the obstacles that can hinder trust-building, such as entitlement and unyielding rejection. We explore the delicate balance required from both partners, acknowledging the collaborative effort needed for genuine healing. Central to our conversation is the distinction between trust as a belief and trust as behavior. We explore actionable tips on how the unfaithful partner can act in trustworthy ways, including transparency, accountability, and consistency. The episode concludes with practical do's and don'ts for couples seeking to earn trust after infidelity, emphasizing the importance of allowing trust to be earned and acting in consistent, intentional, and trustworthy ways. Whether you're in the midst of affair recovery or seeking insights into trust dynamics, this episode provides valuable guidance on the journey to rebuilding and earning trust. Join us as we navigate the complexities of trust in the aftermath of infidelity and offer practical steps for couples looking to heal and move forward. [Listen to the full episode on the podcast for a deeper exploration of trust dynamics and actionable tips for affair recovery, or read the full blog post.]

In this intriguing podcast episode, the topic of love and betrayal takes center stage, prompting us to explore the complex dynamics that arise when the people we cherish deeply hurt us. Idit Sharoni hosts her team of experts in order to shed a light on this topic. She begins with asking Alana Tokayer, a Marriage & Family Therapist and Program Specialist to describe what she notices with couples in the aftermath of infidelity grappling with this question. Alana sets the stage by highlighting the profound impact of betrayal when it comes from someone we consider our best friend, our everything. As a therapist, Alana has witnessed couples grappling with the aftermath of infidelity, and the burning question always lingers: "How can someone who loves me betray me?" This inquiry lies at the heart of the episode, as it dives into the intricacies of understanding the coexistence of love and betrayal in modern relationships. Alana is joined by a team of experts, including Yael Haklai-Neagu and Ana De la Cruz, both licensed Marriage & Family Therapists specializing in relationships and affair recovery. Together, they shed light on how partners can make sense of the painful dilemma caused by infidelity. Throughout the episode, the team offers valuable insights and tips for coping with this conundrum, emphasizing the importance of questioning assumptions and challenging thought patterns that hinder healing. They discuss how love and betrayal can coexist, urging listeners to reconsider their perceptions of loyalty and love. The episode concludes with three practical tips for healing after infidelity, shared by Alana, Ana, and Yael. These tips emphasize the significance of intentionality, open-mindedness, and reframing one's perspective to navigate the challenging journey of rebuilding trust and love after betrayal. Listeners are left with a thought-provoking exploration of the complex interplay between love and betrayal in relationships. The episode encourages us to reevaluate our beliefs about loyalty, love, and the potential for healing and growth after experiencing infidelity. If you're seeking guidance on affair recovery or intrigued by the intricate dynamics of love and betrayal, this podcast episode promises valuable insights and a deeper understanding of these complex emotions. Read the show notes  Learn about our Infidelity recovery Program Schedule a free 45-minute consultation See our website

Have you wondered whether conventional couples therapy can help you heal from infidelity? Is it effective for infidelity recovery? Do you want helpful options in the aftermath of infidelity or an affair recovery? You aren’t alone. Unfortunately, there isn’t much information out there to truly educate struggling couples. Though it seems that conventional or traditional couples therapy is the only way to go, there are more options to explore. Let’s discuss your infidelity recovery choices here in this episode. Important links: Infidelity Recovery Program Schedule a free Consult

You don’t want to miss this article. In fact, I can’t believe we haven’t talked about this  before. Why? Because this topic is too important to skip. What I’m about to share with you has a way of hiding in the shadows of too many relationships… First, you probably know that infidelity happens for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes it has to do with the relationship, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it’s a combination of both. What you might not know is that, in the majority of cases, there is a “silent killer” lurking between partners for months, even years before infidelity ever happens.  It’s called conflict avoidance. How does something this destructive go undetected? Because it feels natural, even good at times. Yet, it has the power to gradually and quietly disconnect partners completely. Fortunately, your relationship is not at the unavoidable mercy of this hidden relationship problem. I’m here to help you understand what conflict avoidance is, what it does, and how you can stop it.  Listen to this episode to learn more. Click to take our Conflict Avoidance Self Check Visit the podcast show notes page.

We are very excited and thankful to interview psychotherapist and hypnotherapist Douglas Flemons, Ph.D., LMFT. Both Yael (my co-host for this episode) and I, having had the opportunity to learn from him in different capacities, greatly appreciated Dr. Flemons’s willingness to meet with us and share his valuable message. We discuss hypnotherapy, what it is, how it helps our clients, and how change can happen effortlessly. Click here for the show notes Links mentioned in this episode: The Heart and Mind of Hypnotherapy: Inviting Connection, Inventing Change - Dr. Flemons recent book Infidelity Recovery Free 45-min Consultation

Idit Sharoni interviews Terry Real who is an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker, and author. He is the founder of the Relational Life Institute and wrote THE book on male depression. Idit & Terry discuss therapy in the aftermath of infidelity and his newest book US: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship where Terry reveals how individualism and patriarchy poison our most intimate relationships.  This is part 2 of 2 parts.  Link to show notes Link to the book

Idit Sharoni interviews Terry Real who is an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker, and author. He is the founder of the Relational Life Institute and wrote THE book on male depression. Idit & Terry discuss relationships, individualism, couples therapy, and his newest book US: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship where Terry reveals how individualism and patriarchy poison our most intimate relationships.  This is part 1 of 2 parts.  Link to show notes Link to the book

Are you wondering if you're healing at a normal pace? Well, in this episode I will not be telling you how long you and your spouse "should" be taking to heal. Instead, I’ll provide you with tools to make an educated estimate based on important variables.  Links mentioned in this episode: Infidelity Recovery Program consultation It's Okay To Stay recovery program Program reviews & testimonials

What makes a therapist a relationship expert? How can you make sure that you’re hiring the most qualified relationship expert to help you save your marriage?   We can all agree that not all therapists are relationship experts. Moreover, there are those who call themselves relationship experts who are not therapists.   Listen to relationship expert Idit Sharoni discussing how to be clear about who can offer adequate services to help your marriage.    Links: Schedule an Infidelity Recovery Program Consultation Show notes

Are you hurting badly now and wondering whether infidelity pain will ever go away? Are you concerned about what life will be like after you heal? This is not unusual. This, or some form of this line of thinking, is a concern both hurt and unfaithful partners share. This is particularly true for couples who are trying to heal and go back to normal.  Even that very word, “normal,” can be triggering. So many questions and concerns come up for couples and to help get some answers, I talked things through with a guest therapist. Tune into this episode to learn tips to better handle the aftermath of the aftermath of infidelity. You are also invited to learn more about our infidelity recovery coaching program. If you like what you read, schedule a 45-minute free consultation to see if it would be the best fit to enhance your healing process.  Links mentioned in this episode: 45-minute Infidelity Recovery Coaching Program Consultation Yael Haklai-Neagu, LMFT - senior couples therapist at Idit Sharoni - Relationship Experts Episode #68: How to Recover From Infidelity PTSD State of Affairs - book by Esther Perel

In this episode relationship expert Idit Sharoni discusses the symptoms of infidelity PTSD including intrusive thoughts and how to help your hurt partner get past the triggers. She also shares about whether it is even possible to help a hurt partner with this and the do’s and don’ts around that.

I recently met with Dr. Marie Murphy on her podcast, Your Secret is Safe With Me to discuss how an affair recovery program can help couples in the aftermath of infidelity. We also shared about how unfaithful partners can get help ending affairs or making decisions on how to proceed with an ongoing affair.  Dr. Marie and myself discuss the most difficult shame ridden topics that most do not even try to understand about infidelity and betrayal. We look at the multidimensionality of relationships and the healing after infidelity.

One of the most common yet difficult issues hurt partners experience in the aftermath of infidelity is post trauma symptoms or PTSD. I interview relationship expert Yael Haklai-Neagu, LMFT who specializes in helping hurt partners handle their intrusive thoughts and Hypervigilance as a result of their partner's affair or betrayal.  As a certified hypnotherapist, Yael shares tips and ideas about how you can utilize hypnotherapy to recover. This Episode is Brought to you by It's Okay To Stay Program  - A Roadmap to Healing After Infidelity by Idit Sharoni, LMFT Links Mentioned in this episode: Yael Haklai-Neagu's Webpage - Yael is an expert team member at Idit Sharoni - Relationship Experts, a private practice offering marriage counseling, couples therapy, and affair recovery programs.

In the aftermath of infidelity, what does a hurt partner need most? What comes to mind? Most people, unfaithful partners, or even therapists routinely answer the same way: hurt partners need true remorse from the betrayer, to forgive, and to know why among other things.  Of course, these are all true and important. Yet, the more fundamental and vital concern any betrayed partner needs to be addressed is for their pain to be heard.  Relationship expert Idit Sharoni shares 6 tasks hurt and unfaithful partners can start implementing right now to facilitate hearing the pain.  Episode Sponsor: This episode is sponsored by Idit Sharoni's infidelity recovery and healing program: It's Okay To Stay. ‘It’s Okay to Stay’ is a complete 8-week coaching program that involves an online roadmap course and one-on-one work with an affair recovery specialist. If you have faith in your relationship, if you want to stay together, and heal— Idit is offering a 45-minute free consultation for couples who want to save their relationship after infidelity and need expert guidance.  Schedule your free consultation today at www.iditsharoni.com/45  *Both partners have to be present for the consultation. Episode Full Blog Post: https://iditsharoni.com/what-hurt-partners-need-most-in-affair-recovery/ Links mentioned in this episode: The Monogamy Myth. Not Just Friends

When we think of healing from an affair, we focus on the betrayal of the faithful partner. We rarely think of the unfaithful partner’s wounded mind. In fact, the unfaithful partner’s ability to recover from the affair is quite routinely ignored.  And when it comes to women’s affairs? Well, there’s even less attention paid to healing for unfaithful women. That’s where the expertise of Debbie Rose comes in. Listen to my interview with Debbie to learn the steps to ending an affair.   Infidelity Recovery Free Masterclass: Idit's infidelity recovery masterclass   Links mentioned: Debbie's website aftermyaffair.com Debbie's Facebook group Idit's support community on Facebook The book Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass Idit's infidelity recovery online program   Contact: idit@iditsharoni.com

Tackling a big relationship issue that has the potential to end it? You know you need an expert to help you, but how do you get the best of the best to work with you? This episode is mind shifting because it will change your understanding about how to get help from professionals you normally can't afford or can't reach.  The world of service is totally changing, and with it the world of couples counseling. Gone are the days where experts were out of reach, too expensive, or too far. Tune in to find out how you - yes you - can get an expert to help your relationship.  Links mentioned: Rekindling Desire (Esther Perel) The Art and Science of Love (The Gottman Institute) It’s Okay to Stay (Idit Sharoni) Infidelity Recovery Free Masterclass: Forgiving & Forgetting is NOT the Key to Healing After Infidelity Contact: idit@iditsharoni.com

Are you and your spouse equal partners in your relationship? Or has one of you become more of a parent to the other? When a couple starts to fall into a parent-child dynamic, codependency, rather than a balanced, cooperative relationship starts to emerge. Essentially, this means that the overall patterns of communication and behavior push one partner (either the male or the female) into a parent or a child position within the relationship.  In this episode, I do the following: help you take a closer look at what this destructive dynamic may look likeshare why you shouldn't promote this in your relationshipsuggest two strategies to avoid it Links mentioned in this episode: FREE Masterclass: Forgiving & Forgetting is NOT the Key to Healing After Infidelity www.iditsharoni.com/masterclass for more information go to: www.iditsharoni.com

Today, I want to talk about who can heal your pain after infidelity. You’ll learn who really can help heal the pain, who doesn’t have the power to help, and what you can do if you’re stuck feeling unable to move past the hurt. I dive into the topic by telling you about a contact that I recently received from a spouse who had been cheated on and wanted to be seen individually. There was nothing alarming about this at first, but the person then shared something troubling: a therapist had told this person that seeking individual help to overcome the pain was needed before the couple could healthily recover together. The first issue that I have with this is that sending one partner off to seek help alone is very difficult. I talk about how it takes so much courage to trust anyone after infidelity and that isolating sends a bad message to the hurt partner.  The second issue I have is that many therapists have the assumption that the pain after infidelity is individual and, therefore, the hurting individual is capable of fixing it. You must remember that forgiveness is a journey that both sides need to go on and that it needs to be earned. The third issue I have is the sense that hurt partners who are not ready to forgive are considered unable to surrender to the process. I provide my opinion that surrender should not be expected because the situation that the couple has found themselves in is not a war.  Therapy is not a body shop where you check your problematic spouse in to get fixed. The betraying partner needs to understand that they are the person who will help the healing. Links mentioned in this episode:  It's Okay to Stay - Idit's Online Course Waitlist Idit’s It’s Okay to Stay Facebook group  Book: How Can I Forgive You / by Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD For more information about the podcast and Idit Sharoni visit: www.iditsharoni.com