The Aldrins | "32 Years"

Jun 25 2021 • 3 mins

For years after they left Earth, James confessed that he had suppressed all memories of his old life. But halfway through the Aldrins' lifespan, an event triggered a breakdown and James was hit with an emotional and existential crisis that sent him into a heavy depression. After some time in therapy, he ended up writing his most personal song, reflecting on his life and the loss of his mother.

Lyrics:

Seven Years everything's a blur
Seven Years Nothing is for sure
Nine Years Nine Years (Nine Years Nine Years)
Empty rooms I presume It's my fault Dug this tomb
It's my fault! Caused your pain! He walked out but I'm to blame!
Twelve years! And I never see you, When I do we never talk much like we used to
Thirteen! I never told you spent days in the streets with no place to go to
Fourteen! Ate from the trash for the first time! Haven't got a dime
Fifteen! Got caught stealing! Made a break and got away before they caught me concealing!
Sixteen years! Here I stand with blood on my face so you'll call me a man
Understand, I'm tryna make it up to you with nine years of guilt I'm unsure what to do
But by Seventeen I'm An upstanding citizen Time to clean up the whole mess we been livin' in
Found my crew Year eighteen I know what to do and I'ma make you proud of me
The last thing I said on the last time I saw you, "This is my shot and then I'll take care of you."
The last thing I saw on your face as I left was a nervous smile and a little distress
Wipe off the sweat of my palms as the car pulls up 21 years; I've had enough
Time to make it right for the very first time to bring light to your eyes like before I was nine
Little did I know I wouldn't see you again! Little did I know that our time would end!
Little did I know that I'm not coming home! Little did I know when I left you alone!
I wish that I could see you one last time just to tell you that I'm sorry that I ruined our lives
I wish that I could tell you it'll be okay, that I'm here till the end, that I'm here to stay
'Cause back in the day you might've heard me say that I'd meet you in heaven on those golden streets
Back in the day you might've heard me say that you're up in the stars lookin down on me
But I'm up in the stars and all I can see is blackness and void and nothing between
I hate being awake and I just wanna sleep just to see you again in my head when I dream
I hate all the years that I wasted to keep you from ever finding out all the times when I'd weep
And I hate the regret that runs through my head and I hate all the things that we left unsaid
I hate that I struggle to recall what you look like, 32 years and there's tears in my eyes
I hate that I am up in the sky as I cry out to God but I don't get a sign
I hate that I can't say I love you one last time and wish you a final goodbye