Aug 29 2019
Harmonious Clan: Resilient Parents
“I’m not shy to say that they are just really, really quirky kids,” says Luiza Coscia, mother to five children with special needs, who she prefers to think of as out of the box children. After going to school to be an engineer, her life experience lead her to engineering out of the box solutions to help out of the box children like her own.
One Harmonious Clan
Luiza Y. Coscia is an engineer, author, and mother to five special needs children. When asked about her children, Luiza says that she is not ashamed to say that they are just really, really quirky kids. All five of her children have some sort of special needs, that require creative interventions. After raising her children, she knows the importance of remaining strong and resilient as a parent.
She attended college as an engineering student, but Luiza’s life experiences lead her to engineer out of the box solutions for out of the box children. She says that nowadays, having out of the box children with special needs is such an epidemic. In almost every classroom, there are children who suffer because they cannot conform to the class. Luiza says these children typically end up in the principal’s office frequently, because they are out of the box.
Luiza says that a lot of low points she has encountered were due to there not being any understanding. She believes that there is a lack of public awareness about out of the box special needs children such as her own. The hardest part is the lack of awareness about what could be going on underneath, in order to cause the children to act in such a manner.
Parental Judgment
“I’ve had a lot of moments when everybody turned their eyes on me and my clan,” says Luiza. She says that people are quick to judge parents and their children. Before making judgements, Luiza encourages people to consider what the other people are going through.
“You haven’t walked a mile in my shoes. You don’t know what I’m going through. My child is an excellent child, and I am a fabulous mother.”
Stacy’s Journal
Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource.
During our interview, Luiza said that the main issue she has faced as a parent of five special needs, out of the box children is a lack of understanding. People are not compassionate to others’ situations, and there is a lack of understanding of what might be going on underneath the surface. “You haven’t walked a mile in my shoes. You don’t know what I’m going through. My child is an excellent child, and I am a fabulous mother,” says Luiza. This was one of my favorite quotes from our interview. People really can’t grasp what someone else is going through unless they experience it for themselves. And even then, everyone’s experience is quite different. As Luiza said, parents are quick to judge others’ parenting styles based on the behavior of the child. However, people don’t stop to consider what could be going on in that child’s life in order to cause them to act this way. I encourage you to take a moment the next time you see a misbehaving child and a parent desperate to control the situation. Consider the underlying issues that may cause children to act out in such ways. Instead of judging the child or parent, ask what you can do to help. You just might save a Mom’s sanity.
That’s all we have for today. Last episode, Cec Murphey shared his thoughts on appreciating ourselves and realizing that God created each of us to love and to be loved – so if you need a little bit of encouragement , you might want to go back and have a listen. Next week, we’ll continue our interview with Luiza in Part 2 of our series.
