DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better

ABCG Studios

The comedy podcast where four long suffering friends dissect film’s most dastardly schemes, and then compete to improve those diabolical plans. read less
TV & FilmTV & Film

Episodes

Episode 87: The Naked Gun
Yesterday
Episode 87: The Naked Gun
“I know you think of yourself as a Mark Wahlberg-type character” The panel of peril wipe the unsightly chunk of banana off the side of their mouth and slip into something more comfortable to watch this week’s film The Naked Gun (David Zucker, 1988). Police Squad’s finest, Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen), is tasked with investigating an attack on Det. Nordberg (OJ Simpson) just as the city is expecting a huge visit from Queen Elizabeth II (Jeannette Charles). Questioning local property magnate Vincent Ludwig (Ricardo Montalban) leads Drebin down a path that sees both events intertwine and begin a relationship with his assistant, the delightful Jane Spencer (Priscilla Presley). Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S476PqNJkPM ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** Jane digs up some startling info on her boss. Not only is he trafficking illegal goods through the city docks, but he has cut a sweet deal to have the Queen assassinated. His method? Mind control. His hitman? A baseball player, during a game that her Maj will be in attendance for! Can our incredible investigator find which player has their sights set on Queenie, or will Ludwig succeed and become slightly richer than he is already is? Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon Ludwig’s regicidal plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical? Here’s that bit from Police Squad that Ben mentioned: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8PZFQz-qmo And Gaz and Craig's appearance on the Fandomentals podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2Mno0arNicnZmgVGaMLz8c?si=fXd6t0bTRTOSVWJh0LY28Q
Episode 84: Gladiator
Feb 5 2024
Episode 84: Gladiator
“I know you're being light-hearted, but baguettes are way stronger than a sausage roll” ‘Are you not entertained!’ scream the panel of peril at their slack-jawed neighbours, wearing just a comical pair of white y-fronts. They are entertained; very much so. With that, they pick up their bottle of milk and head inside to watch this week’s film Gladiator (Ridley Scott, 2000). General Maximus (Russell Crowe) has it all – sweet fur cape, legion of dudes fighting at his side, and a family waiting for his safe return from war. He too has the favour of Roman Caesar Marcus Aurelias (Richard Harris) which may prove to be his undoing, as Commodus (Joaquin Phoenix) has a serious case of the green-eyed monster for his father’s position. Will the cowardly and jealous Commodus accede to Caesar’s will and allow Maximus to lead Rome, or does he have something altogether more diabolical planned? ((Yes) to the second bit)) Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BLZbrLogTo ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** Commodus decides the simplest course of action is to simply kill his own father, assume the role of Caesar, have Maximus and his entire family killed – Bob’s your Uncle, Fanny’s your Aunt. There’s just one problem: Maximus does not take kindly to his attempted murder, and kills his would-be killers instead! A series of unfortunate events sees the Spaniard enslaved, eventually arriving back in Rome as a gladiator of some renown. Are Commodus’ days numbered, or can he finish off his nemesis for good? ((Yes) to the first bit)) Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon Commodus’ campaign of murderous intent? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?
Episode 83: Dungeons & Dragons - Honor Among Thieves
Jan 29 2024
Episode 83: Dungeons & Dragons - Honor Among Thieves
“Magic Michael is my father. You can call me Magic Mike” The panel of peril roll 2 D20s, snake eyes. They roll again: snake eyes. They roll for a third time – snake eyes. The hell with this, they collectively groan and instead switch on this week’s film Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley, 2023). A merry band of thieves comprising bard Edgin (Chris Pine), barbarian Holga (Michelle Rodriguez) and mage Simon (Justice Smith) set course for Neverwinter in order to retrieve Edgin's daughter and head off for some precious loot. But, in a shocking twist, former gang members Forge (Hugh Grant) and Sofina (Daisy Head) block their progress at every turn. What ever shall they do? Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiMinixSXII ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** Forge may think that he is the one in charge as the ruler of Neverwinter, but it is actually Sofina whose scheme is truly diabolical. She plans to utilise the High Sun Games to create an army of undead in order to rule with an iron fist over all races. Oh my bloody God! If there’s anyone ill-equipped to fight such a scourge, then it’s surely a ragtag gang of losers. Or is iiiiiiiiiiiiiiit? Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the Sofina’s duplicitous masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical? Sound Effect from Pixabay
Episode 81: Dr. Who And The Daleks
Jan 15 2024
Episode 81: Dr. Who And The Daleks
“It’s the Caesar’s Palace of that particular planet” The panel of peril knit themselves a multi-coloured scarf, put on the scarf and watch this week’s film, Dr. Who And The Daleks (Gordon Flemyng, 1965), whilst being uncomfortably hot in the scarf. Eccentric inventor Dr. Who (Peter Cushing) has just invented a contabulous fabtraption named TARDIS. A jolly complicated machine that can travel through time and space. But when granddaughter Susan (Roberta Tovey), Ian (Roy Castle), and Barbara (Jennie Linden) alight the dashing blue police box they are whisked away to the Dalek home planet of Skaro! Oooooops. Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFM2xAkD1y8 ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** A war between the Daleks and the Thal has left their planet barren, and the Daleks themselves confined to their famous metal casings. Concocting a plan to lure the Thal into their city to steal their anti-radiation formula, the Daleks believe they have quite the devilish plan. But they didn’t bargain on Dr. Who and the gang rallying the golden skinned Thal into fighting back against their would-be fascist overlords! Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the Dalek’s final solution? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical? Sound Effect from Pixabay Music by Sergio Prosvirini from Pixabay An article on Panera Lemonade for your information: https://news.sky.com/story/panera-breads-caffeinated-charged-lemonade-drinks-blamed-for-two-deaths-in-us-13023351
Episode 79: So I Married An Axe Murderer
Jan 1 2024
Episode 79: So I Married An Axe Murderer
“Why don't you poke your little noodle through 'em then?” The panel of peril take a glug from a spectacularly large cup of coffee, admire an oversized map of Atlantic City, and focus their gigantic heads on a screen showing this week’s film So I Married An Axe Murderer (Thomas Schlamme, 1993). Charlie (Mike Myers) is a footloose/fancy-free young chap who has a serious problem with making romantic commitments. But he’s hopeful that his latest beau Harriet (Nancy Travis) will be different. Hopefully she won’t be a member of the Cosa Nostra. Hopefully she won’t smell of soup. He’s at least hopeful enough to introduce her to his loudmouth father Stuart (also played by Myers) and mother May (Brenda Fricker). So there’s that… Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGlyUmq9wE4 ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** Oh dear, it isn’t long before Charlie finds fault as he suspects that Harriet is actually a black widow who murders her husbands before moving onto her next victim. That’s quite the predicament to be in once the pair are married and honeymooning in a secluded Cluedo-esque hotel. Will Charlie be chopped up into chicken feed, or is there more to this mystery than meets the eye? Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the axe murderer’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical? Music by Julius H. from Pixabay Music by Keyframe Audio from Pixabay
Episode 77: Die Hard 2
Dec 18 2023
Episode 77: Die Hard 2
“$60 million on quiche?!” The panel of peril complete their naked tai chi session, have a quick wash around the key areas, and watch this week’s film Die Hard 2 (Renny Harlin, 1990). How can the same stuff happen to the same panel two years in a row? John McClane (Bruce Willis) just wants a quiet Christmas with his wife Holly (Bonnie Bedelia), but a bunch of criminal types have other ideas. Led by Thornberg (William Atherton), a group of mercs seek to rescue General Esperanza (Franco Nero) during the course of his extradition flight, after which he is due to stand trial. Can our comfy jumper-wearing hero save the day again? Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvHp7xJZ4_U ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** Little do McClane and the crew know that Esperanza also has Major Grant (John Amos) and an elite US Army squadron onside, aiding his escape. Once that first flight is grounded, they’re getting on another flight – destination? Paradise, baby. Paradise. With the odds stacked against him, this is surely the end of the top gun cop. Yes siree, no more sequels for McClane, sadly ;) What the actual flip did the panel make of this one? How the actual flip can they improve upon the villain’s dastardly scheme? And who the actual flip will be victorious in this week’s competition? Sound Effect by Kamil Kopowski from Pixabay Sound Effect from Pixabay Sound Effect by Julius H. from Pixabay Sound Effect by UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabay
Episode 76: Guest House Paradiso
Dec 11 2023
Episode 76: Guest House Paradiso
“Is Vienetta Italian?” The panel of peril take a break from slamming each other’s heads inside the fridge door over and over and over again to watch this week’s film: Guest House Paradiso (Adrian Edmondson, 1999). Richie Twat (Rik Mayall) and Eddie Elizabeth Ndingombaba (Edmondson) run perhaps the worst guest house on our fair isle. It’s dark, dingy, they’ll steal your belongings, insult you, feed you slop, and are situated adjacent to a nuclear facility. An unexpected guest arrives in Italian starlet Gina Carbonara (Helene Mahieu) bringing not only prestige with her, but troublesome jilted fiancé Gino Bolognese (Vincent Cassel). Two words for you: uh ohhhhhhhhhh! Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNsP8SIRGIs&t=15s ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** Arriving on the scene to TAKE the hand of his lover, Gino won’t have any guff from Richie and Eddie, and isn’t shy about letting them know that. Featuring an all-star cast including Simon Pegg, Bill Nighy and Kate Ashfield, Guest House Paradiso is the Bottom spin-off that shows us the true meaning of the phrase ‘don’t eat irradiated fish, because it will make you violently ill’. Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))? Music: Upbeat Quirky Background Jazz - Pixabay Music: The Show Intro - Pixabay Watch the making of the film here: Guest House Paradiso - Behind The Scenes (youtube.com) Read all about The Little Mermaid’s phallic castle turret here: https://reelrundown.com/animation/What-You-Didnt-See-HIdden-Disney-Images-The-Little-Mermaid
Episode 74: Laputa - Castle In The Sky
Nov 27 2023
Episode 74: Laputa - Castle In The Sky
“He is a bit of a patsy. He’s a little b!tch” The panel of peril settle down with a delicious-looking, open topped, fried egg sandwich to watch this week’s cinematic treat Studio Ghibli’s Castle In The Sky (Hayao Miyazaki, 1986). Sheeta (Anna Paquin) and Pazu (James Van Der Beek) are two young rapscallions on the hunt for the adventure, primarily centred around Sheeta’s mysterious crystal necklace. That necklace saves her from certain doom several times over and may well lead her to the lost sky city of Laputa and the titular castle. But with sky pirates, the army and the mysterious Muska (Mark Hamill) on their trail will they make it in one piece? Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ykEy-yPBFc ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** Not only does the necklace lead Sheeta, her friends, and her enemies to Laputa but it has the ability to harness the power of the floating island. Power that Muska – a long lost relative of Sheeta! – wants to harness for his own nefarious ends. There’s also a bunch of really cool robots who have become one with nature to contend with. But who’s magnificent flying machines will travel fast enough to claim the prize first? What did the heck panel think of this week’s movie? How in all that is holy can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will be christened this week’s most diabolical? Music Inspiring Emotional Uplifting Piano - Pixabay Music Relaxing Birds and piano music - Pixabay Everybody gather ‘round and enjoy a nice cool glass of Laputa juice with this tie-in trailer: https://youtu.be/REUvSmsPzlI?si=FWdkANekdxjO_cqD
Episode 73: Flash Gordon
Nov 20 2023
Episode 73: Flash Gordon
“The story of forbidden love between a bee and a human woman” The panel of peril bleach their hair, pump some iron, and get harangued onto a space rocket heading for the distant planet of Mongo! Fortunately, the in-flight movie is Flash Gordon (Mike Hodges, 1980), so there’s that. Flash (Sam Jones) has it all: hair, muscles, tight t-shart – but when he and erstwhile companion Dale (Melody Anderson) are whisked away and confronted by Ming The Merciless (Max Von Sydow), no amount of muscle tees can save him. Deciding to destroy planet Earth on a mere whim, Ming is the kind of tyrant who demands loyalty from all of his subjects, be they bird men (Brian Blessed) or Errol Flynn types (Timothy Dalton). Can Flash do stuff to stop the thing?! Likely so, yes. Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6uOHnxf85g ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** All Flash has to do to stop the untimely destruction of our byowtiful home planet is unite the warring tribes of Mongo, and break the hold that Ming has over his populace. Should be easy right? WRONG! It will be very, very DIFFICULT because they DO NOT LIKE EACH OTHER! Ha, ha, just like the wars that happen upon our beyoomtiful home planet, amirite? In all seriousness though, he’s got his work cut out for him, has Flash, bigly. What the actual flip did the panel make of this one? How the actual flip can they improve upon the villain’s dastardly scheme? And who the actual flip will be victorious in this week’s competition? Sound Effect by Aleksandr Karabanov from Pixabay Sound Effect from Pixabay Music by Geoff Harvey from Pixabay
Episode 71: The Producers (1967)
Nov 6 2023
Episode 71: The Producers (1967)
“Your eardrums are going to be sh!tting themselves” The panel of peril take a well-earned break from romancing a wealthy old dear, in order to be gifted a large cheque, naturally, and relax by watching this week’s film The Producers (Mel Brooks, 1967). Max Bialystock (Zero Mostel) is a producer of the stage whose glory days are far behind him. His rent is in arrears and his main source of income comes from swindling wealthy old ladies of their savings. That is until child-like accountant Leo Bloom (Gene Wilder) discovers that they could make more money producing a flop than a hit. Will they be successful in creating the worst show of the season? Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTW2ZSjG5N0 ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** Selecting a show written by “former” Nazi Franz Liebkind (Kenneth Mars) named Springtime For Hitler, Max and Leo are confident the show will flop. Little do they know that director and star will conspire to turn the show into a camp comedy that the audience warms to surprisingly quickly. Is this the end of our venerable scoundrels hopes of absconding to Rio? Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))? Music by Sergei Chetvertnykh from Pixabay Music by Geoff Harvey from Pixabay Music by Grand_Project from Pixabay Music by Yevhen Onoychenko from Pixabay Sound Effect from Pixabay Music by Alban_Gogh from Pixabay Sound Effect by Shiden Beats Music from Pixabay Music by Julius H. from Pixabay Music by Broadway Walk from Pixabay
Episode 69: Green Lantern
Oct 23 2023
Episode 69: Green Lantern
“Everyone likes a comic on the bog” The panel of peril dress entirely in green, mutter something about being afraid of something or something, and strap themselves into the Ludovico chair to watch Green Lantern (Martin Campbell, 2011). Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds) is your standard authority-bucking, secretly fearful, movie fighter pilot. His relationship with childhood friends Carol (Blake Lively) and Hector (Peter Sarsgaard) is as strained as his attempts at improvised sass. But when a space alien gives Hal a magic ring that harnesses the power of the colour green… well, you can be sure that a bunch of stuff happens in a serviceable fashion, and no mistake. Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-GO9fo9DtM ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** Right, the bad guy is a big cloudy CG fella named Parallax. He can use the power of the colour YELLOW to harness fear, power up and go ham on whoever or whatever he wants! And he wants to go ham on the Green Lantern home planet of Oa and take out the Lantern Corps (all 3600 of them) and the all-knowing Guardians. Will Parallax reign supreme, or will Hal be able to confront his fear, overcome his fear, harness his fear, and defeat the fear that Parallax conjures. For God’s sake, we really, really hope so. Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical? Music by Luis Humanoide from Pixabay Music by Grand_Project from Pixabay Sound Effect from Pixabay
Episode 68: Body Double
Oct 16 2023
Episode 68: Body Double
“Although he kills his wife in quite a horrible way, he seems like a nice guy to me” The Panel of Peril take a break from polishing their telescope: they’ve been going at it hard and their forearms are sore. In that downtime they take in the film of the week: Body Double (Brian De Palma, 1984). Jake (Craig Wasson) is a down on his luck actor. His role as a vampire in a B movie is threatened by his crippling claustrophobia and his girlfriend is having an affair. At an acting workshop he meets Sam (Gregg Henry), a fellow actor with a plush spare apartment that overlooks the beautiful Gloria’s (Deborah Shelton) abode. What a stroke of luck for Jake! Or is it? A mysterious black-clad “Indian” appears to be stalking Gloria and taunting Jake. But what is his endgame? Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMG8V7Am8zI ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** Sam’s motives are very much ulterior. He plans to rob/murder Gloria who is actually his wife (!), and has installed a body double in her apartment for Jake to spy on so that Jake can be his alibi… deep breath. No one’s saying it isn’t a convoluted scheme, but it just might work! Can wet-behind-the-ears Jake decipher Sam’s machinations, or will he take the fall for the murderous master of disguise? What the actual flip did the panel make of this one? How the actual flip can they improve upon the villain’s dastardly scheme? And who the actual flip will be victorious in this week’s competition?