Get Unstuck with Murielle Marie

Yay. Finally, another podcast episode. I know it’s been too long. Life got in the way. And my creative mind, of course, came up with all these new projects and business ideas that were just screaming for me to do something with them. As a good creative generalist, I had to give them some attention. It’s a bit too much at times, I won’t lie, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. Building new things, starting new ventures, helping others… it’s all play to me; I consider myself extremely lucky to be able to do what I love every day.  But so, yes, I’m back with an episode of the “Get Unstuck” podcast. My name is Murielle Marie, and I’m your host. A serial entrepreneur, creative generalist, writer, life-long learner, and career and business coach who loves to share the golden nuggets I pick up on how to do this thing called life. This week’s episode is inspired by my recent absence from this podcast while building new projects. There are many things you need to keep going when you’ve decided to venture out as an entrepreneur or when you’ve decided to finally pursue your dreams, whatever they may be. But one of the things you need the most, and that is currently not talked about enough, is grit. That’s why today, we're diving deep into the power of grit, the secret sauce that can make all the difference in our lives and businesses. So grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and let's embark on a journey to discover how we can cultivate more of this invaluable trait. Ok, Grit. It's a word that resonates with strength, determination, and unwavering resolve. Google speaks of courage, resolve, and strength of character. I believe it’s what separates the dreamers from the doers, those who succeed from those who fail. In a world where instant gratification often takes center stage, the importance of grit cannot be overstated. Truly. I want to start with a real-life scenario highlighting the importance of grit in the workplace. Recently, a friend and client in his late thirties, who owns a chain of restaurants, shared a rather compelling story with me. One of his pizza places had just hired a new employee. It was her first week, and in the middle of a busy shift, she suddenly took off her apron and left on the spot, claiming that the hectic pace of the restaurant "was not good for her." Now, this incident might seem like just a momentary blip, but it reflects a broader issue in today's world—a lack of grit and resilience in the face of challenges. In a society where everything should be frictionless, some people may struggle to navigate demanding environments like a restaurant. As ambitious creatives, dreamers, careerists, entrepreneurs and business owners, we must recognize the significance of grit in our employees and ourselves. Grit isn't merely about tolerating difficult situations; it's about embracing them as opportunities for growth and learning.  But what is grit, really? It’s an invisible force. Because I’ve witnessed its power in my life and that of so many of my clients, I believe it’s what keeps us pushing forward when everything seems to be against us. It's the unyielding fire that fuels our progress and pushes us towards our goals. Yet, in today's fast-paced society, it feels like grit is slowly fading away. We live in a world where distractions are all around us and where the allure of immediate success can be tempting. We start something with enthusiasm, only to abandon it when the going gets tough. But here's the truth: true success rarely comes overnight. It's forged through tenacity, resilience, and, yes, grit. When I was younger, I would start many things but never finish them. Of course, some of that resulted from my generalist brain (I have some podcast episodes about generalists and the creative brain, so be sure to check them out to learn more), but there was more than that going on. I believe at the time, I didn't have the resolve or the grit that is necessary to push through challenges and see things through to completion. I would often give up when faced with setbacks or when things became too difficult. It was easy for me to lose interest and move on to the next shiny object that caught my attention. However, as I grew older, I realized the importance of finishing what I started and its impact on achieving success and personal growth. I began to understand that the habits that would allow me to succeed included perseverance, determination, and the willingness to do the necessary work, even when I didn’t feel like it or faced obstacles. I consciously decided to develop my grit and cultivate a mindset that would help me overcome adversity. One of the ways I started building grit was by using Mel Robbins’ 5-second rule (I’ll add a link to her book and to her amazing TEDx talk in the show notes).  When I saw Mel Robbins’ Talk in 2013, 'How to stop screwing yourself over,’ I’d just embarked on my self-development journey. In the talk, she discussed her 5-Second Rule, which blew my mind. In this habit, the rule is that if you have the instinct to act on a goal, you have to physically move within 5 seconds of thinking the thought. If you don’t act within those first 5 seconds, your brain will kill the instinct.  The moment you feel the instinct or desire to act on a goal or commitment, and you feel yourself hesitate, count 5-4-3-2-1-GO and move towards the action. With the 5-Second Rule, you short-circuit the trap of overthinking that many of us fall into and push your body into taking action. You don’t have to wait till you feel ready; you simply have to move.  Mel Robbins was one of the first inspirations to change my life, stop slacking, and finally do the things I always wanted. Her 5-second rule helped me build grit, and with that, everything shifted. It made me realize that being ready isn’t a feeling; being ready is a decision. Just like working your way through life, even when things get hard or aren’t going as planned.  Another important aspect of developing grit was learning to embrace failure and setbacks as valuable learning experiences. Rather than seeing them as reasons to give up, I began to view them as opportunities for growth and improvement. I understood that setbacks were an inevitable part of any worthwhile pursuit and that they should be seen as stepping stones to success rather than roadblocks.  When I fail, I don’t think what I’m trying won’t work or that I will never figure it out. No, what I do is realize I just haven’t figured it out or that it’s not working YET. Approaching what I do this way helps me to muster more grit to keep going, believe me. Because failure is an integral part of success and building pretty much anything new.   I also looked for mentors and role models who embodied the qualities of grit that I admired. Some of the role models that I keep coming back to when I need more perseverance or a little kick in the butt are people who went through terrible hardship and came out stronger, more compassionate, and with incredible resilience.  One such example is Nelson Mandela, the anti-apartheid leader and former President of South Africa. Mandela spent 27 years in prison for his activism, enduring horrible things and injustice. There is a song about his years in captivity from the movie Invictus (amazing movie, check the show notes, but also get your tissues because you WILL need them). The song is called 9000 Days. I can’t listen to it without crying my eyes out. It’s so powerful. I’m not crying out of sadness, but more out of hope, remembering the courage that Mandela had and that I can only aspire to. When he was finally released from prison, he came out with an unbroken spirit and an unwavering commitment to peace and equality. Mandela's ability to overcome adversity, his capacity to forgive, and his dedication to the freedom of his people make me want to have more grit and perseverance. His story serves as a reminder that thriving is often born out of tenacity and the refusal to give up in the face of adversity. Over time, working on having more grit this way, I noticed a shift in my mindset and behavior. I became more resilient, bouncing back from failures quicker and staying committed to my goals more easily. I developed a stronger sense of self-belief, knowing that I had the ability to overcome challenges and achieve what I set out to do. Today, grit continues to play an important role in my life. It is the driving force behind my pursuit of excellence and my willingness to step outside of my comfort zone. I understand that true success is something that I make, but not without the determination to keep going - no matter what crosses my path. It’s also the reason why this episode exists, because even if I cannot keep the tight schedule I gave myself when I started my podcast (hello high achieving perfectionist!) I'm not giving up on it. Instead, I’m using grit to move forward with EVERYTHING I’m doing. But my story is not unique. Over the years, as a career and business coach, I've witnessed countless individuals face similar challenges. And the ones who succeed are the ones who harness the power of grit.  So how can we cultivate more grit in our own lives? Here are five tried-and-tested tips, so get ready to elevate your grit game big time! Tip #1: The "Gritty Bucket"  Find having a jar, a bucket, an envelope, or any sort of container dedicated to your grit. Whenever something isn’t going like you want it to go, when there’s a setback, or you start doubting yourself (like I do on a daily basis!), take a symbolic token, a small stone or a pebble, a feather, a little paper ball made out of a post it, whatever, and put it in your "gritty bucket." to remind yourself to not give up. When you drop the token in your bucket, visualize the progress you've made so far and get back to work. Over time, that bucket will be full with all the times you decided to keep at it instead of giving up. Tip #2: The "Gritty Morning Ritual" Start your day with a ritual that inspires grit. I always put something on my todo list that stretches me a little out of my comfort zone, or that feels uncomfortable, and I try to do it first thing when I get to work. By intentionally facing a small challenge right at the beginning of my day, I prime my mind and body in a powerful way. It sets the tone for what comes next and makes it much easier to stay determined throughout the day. Tip #3: The "Gritty Playlist" I use playlists for everything. If you’ve listened to this podcast before, you might know I have a writing playlist that gets me into flow almost instantly (which is the reason why I’m afraid to change it, even though I know it inside out and honestly I’m getting a bit tired of it). Well, I have a grit playlist too. The first song on it is “The Eye of The Tiger” by Survivor, the famous Rocky movie theme song. Whenever I feel my motivation waning, I put on my noise canceling headset, and let the music reignite my fire. Tip #4: The "Gritty Buddy" We become the people we surround ourselves with. This means, we also take on their grit - or lack thereof. It’s important to surround yourself with people who share your passion for growth and resilience. My "gritty buddies" are some of the most inspiring friends and entrepreneurs that I know. They’ve faced adversity but come out of it stronger every time. I love having them in my life to celebrate victories, brainstorm solutions, and provide support. They benefit from my grit, and I benefit from theirs. It’s a win/win for everyone.  Tip #5: The "Gritty Gratitude Journal" Every day, take a few moments to reflect on the progress you've made and the challenges you've overcome. Write down at least three things you're grateful for that showcase your grit. I’ve been doing this for many years now and it is absolutely life-transforming. It doesn't matter what it is, it could be a small win, a lesson learned, or simply the fact that you didn't give up. By focusing on the positive aspects of your grit journey, you'll train your mind to appreciate the process, not just the outcome. And you’ll build more grit!  --- That’s it. We’re at the end of this episode. Remember, grit is not a mystical unicorn reserved for a chosen few. It's a muscle that can be trained and developed by anyone willing to do the work. So, before you go, here’s this week’s "f*ck it, let's do it" experiment: take on a challenge that scares you, something you've been avoiding or doubting yourself about. Whether it's starting a new project, having a difficult conversation, or pursuing a big dream, commit to taking the first step towards it. Embrace the discomfort, push through the fear, and remind yourself that failure is not the end but a stepping stone to growth.  And if you’re feeling really gritty, here’s an act of daily rebellion for you: break free from your routine by doing something completely unexpected and unconventional. Step outside your comfort zone and challenge the norms that hold you back. Wear a bold outfit that expresses your unique style, speak up for what you believe in even when it goes against the grain, or take a spontaneous road trip to explore a new place.  Remember, true grit requires breaking free from the status quo and daring to be different. So unleash your inner rebel and show the world what you're truly made of! If you’d like to connect, share a personal story or ask a question about this episode, I’d love to hear from you! Feel free to reach out to me on Instagram @muriellemarie or via email at murielle@muriellemarie.com. I hope you feel inspired and ready to embrace your inner grit. Until next time, stay gritty and keep pursuing your dreams! Murielle Just a heads up: I am not a therapist or doctor! If you're not feeling your best mentally or physically, and you need some help, please make sure to consult with a medical professional or a therapist. --- Click here for the show notes. Check out my blog for more tips on how to get unstuck. Connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIN (don't be shy, I love meeting new people!). Sign up to be notified when my Get Unstuck! book is available.

Welcome to a new episode of the "Get Unstuck" podcast, where we explore the limitless potential available to us and how to reach it. I’m your host Murielle Marie, and today, we're going to delve into a fascinating topic: the power of talking ourselves into things instead of talking ourselves out of them. So often, we find ourselves hesitating, doubting, and giving in to negative self-talk. But by shifting our mindset and embracing a positive self-narrative, we can unlock our true potential and achieve remarkable things. I’ve witnessed it in my life many times, and I see it in my coaching practice every day. That’s why I wanted to share about it in this episode. There is just so much to be gained from focusing on the positive instead of the negative. It’s truly life-changing.  Let me start by sharing a personal story. When I decided to become a coach back in 2014 (I know that’s almost a decade ago, and I cannot believe it!), one of the things I had to do in order to get “the word out there” about my new career and work, was to start a blog. If you’ve listened to this podcast before, you might know that I’m a writer, currently finishing her second book - titled, tada - “Get Unstuck!”. By the way, I’ll add a link to a sign-up form on my website if you’re interested to know when the book comes out next month. So I write, and I love it - at least non-fiction. Fiction, which I’m also doing through the writing academy here in Antwerp, is a whole different thing. And something that still humbles me more than it enchants me, as I work to try and get a thriller about generational trauma on to paper. Anyway, back to the blog.  When I first decided to start it, now almost 10 years ago, I couldn’t get a word onto paper. I spoke about this more in a previous episode of this podcast, especially about how it felt like I was battling a life-long writer’s block. The reason for it was: self-doubt and perfectionism crept in. So much so that I initially talked myself out of it, fearing failure and criticism. Luckily, I had a great coach at the time - my first one. Kate, this is a shout-out to you! I love you! She helped me see what was truly going on, and eventually got me writing. One of the things that helped the most was to shift the negative  self-talk around failure and criticism to positive self-talk about what the blog could mean for my business and my potential and future readers. When I think back on those first blog posts and how hard it was for me to write them, I can’t imagine even having felt that way. I still publish a new article on my blog and write a newsletter every other week. I write books, social media posts and so much more. It comes naturally to me now. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I’d allowed myself to buy into the negative self-talk. Would I have the business I have today? Would I even be speaking to you through this podcast right now? I don’t think so. Negative self-talk can be incredibly detrimental. It plants seeds of doubt, limits our beliefs, and hinders - or sometimes even stops - our progress. Have you ever found yourself talking yourself out of something, only to regret it later? Perhaps it was a chance to pursue a new career path, start a business, or even ask someone out on a date. If you have, it's time to change that narrative. The reality is: we all suffer from this. Every day in my work and my private life I am confronted with negative self-talk, doubts, insecurities, impostor syndrome. Just a few days ago, one of my strongest and most inspiring clients sent me a message telling me she was just a few inches away from throwing away all of the hard work she had done for her upcoming book. “I’m a failure, why would anyone want to read what I have to say, who am I to believe that I can offer something to the world, that my story matters?” This is someone who is incredible: smart, capable, resilient, funny, compassionate, strong… I mean, I really love her so much. She’s an inspiration in my life. And still, even someone as strong and badass as her, feels like shit sometimes. That’s what negative self-talk will do to you.  In fact, most (if not all) successful people have faced self-doubt at some point in their lives. But they chose to talk themselves into their goals and aspirations instead.  Take Van Gogh, the famous french sunflower painter. He only sold one (one!) painting during his life. Even though he produced over 900 paintings over his lifetime, only “Red Vineyard at Arles” was sold while he was alive. Or think about Michael Jordan, the athlete and basketball player that led the Chicago Bulls to championship victory six times. He was dropped from the basketball team in high school. If he had let negative self-talk get the better of him, would we even know his name? Jordan isn’t shy about failure either (the subject of last week’s episode); he says he owes his success to all the missed shots he took during relentless practices – another life lesson he often shares. “I have failed over and over and over again in my life,” he said, “and that is why I succeed.” Recognizing the impact of negative self-talk is the first step towards transforming our mindset. By becoming aware of the moments when we talk ourselves out of things, we can consciously choose to talk ourselves into possibilities, growth, and success. Ok, enough about the negative stuff. What exactly is positive self-talk? And how can you start choosing it over talking yourself down? The essence of it is the practice of consciously choosing positive, empowering thoughts and affirmations to shape your mindset. Research has shown that positive self-talk can boost confidence, enhance performance, and improve overall well-being. So positive self-talk not only affects your mental state but also influences your physical and emotional well-being. When we talk ourselves into things, we activate the reward centers in our brains, releasing dopamine, a feel-good neurotransmitter. This surge of positivity fuels motivation, resilience, and a greater belief in our abilities. Which, in turn, makes it easier to say positive things to ourselves in the future. I talked about Van Gogh and Michael Jordan, but what about Thomas Edison. This is a famous story, so you might know it. It’s famous for a reason. It’s one of the most striking examples of resilience. Edison, even though failing thousands of times in his quest to invent the electric light bulb, continued to foster a positive mindset, saying, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that this won’t work." It was this unwavering belief in himself that eventually led to his success. Someone else that really inspires me to talk more positively to myself and about my goals is Sir Richard Branson. I wear a necklace that says “fuckit” (link in the show notes if you want yours, it’s available on my website) and that’s a tribute to his “screw it, let’s do it” attitude - and his book by the same title that I highly recommend and will link in the show notes! That “fuckit” attitude is my way of pushing back on negative self-talk. Whenever my brain goes to all the reasons why something isn’t going to work or why I’m a big failure that will never make it and is about to be found it, saying “fuck it” to that voice really helps me to remember none of that is true. It’s important to remember this because if you don’t, that negative self-talk will get and keep you stuck! Positive self-talk rewires our brains, enabling us to see opportunities instead of obstacles. It empowers us to step outside our comfort zones, to take risks, and pursue our dreams with tenacity (one of the most beautiful words in the English language if you ask me and such a great virtue to cultivate!). By embracing positive self-talk, we can tap into our inner strength and unlock the incredible potential that is within us. So, the next time self-doubt creeps in, remember the power of talking yourself into things instead of out of them. Instead of saying, "I can't do it," remind yourself, "I can learn and improve." "I'm not good enough," remind yourself, "I have the ability to grow and overcome my limitations." The one that I love the most - and that I use daily - is this one: “of course I can, why couldn’t I?! It’s my go to whenever I worry about what I want to do, and it gives me just that little push I need not to think it over but to do it instead! Ok, now that we understand the power of positive self-talk, let's explore some practical tips to help you cultivate this empowering habit. These are things that have worked for me (with varying success because, hey, #life) and for many of my clients.  First, it's important to recognize when you’re talking negatively to yourself. What are your patterns? Pay attention to the voice inside your head. When is it showing up, to say what? Ask yourself, "Is this thought based on facts or my own fears? What evidence do I have that supports my capabilities?" By questioning these negative thoughts and reminding yourself of your past accomplishments, you can replace them with positive ones. Second, daily affirmations and positive visualization can be incredibly effective. I have a little notebook that I read through every morning. I usually start a new one every few years. This one is from 2021. It has my life and career goals written in it, mantras, positive affirmations, prompts to meditate on every day and a few quotes that I want to remind myself of. Every day, with my morning coffee, I take a few moments to read through it and to repeat positive statements about myself, my abilities, and my goals.  Visualizing yourself successfully achieving what you desire, and letting that image fuel your motivation really works. And it doesn’t cost you anything. So there’s really no excuse not to do it! Third, surround yourself with a supportive network. I cannot stress enough how important it is to have people in your life. You can share your insecurities and truth with. The more authentic you can be with someone else, the more growth you can achieve. Look for encouragement from those who believe in you and your dreams, and who know how shitty it can be to feel the fear and do it anyway. Remember: EVERYONE feels that way! I do too! Just today I wanted to go and hide under a rock at least three times while thinking about the new start-up I’m building, the changes I’m going to make in my coaching business, and my new book which will be out in about six weeks…  Having friends, partners and colleagues around you who are positive and believe in your abilities can be a powerful source of inspiration and motivation. I know this really works for me. When I know there’s someone besides me that I can lean on and that understands and can help, there truly is no limit to what I believe is possible. Don’t be afraid to share your goals and aspirations with the people closest to you, trusted friends, mentors, or a support group who can offer guidance and encouragement along the way. Finally, remember that self-talk is a habit that requires consistent practice. All good things are hard to some degree, but that shouldn’t stop us from doing them. Good things also require patience, so give yourself grace and time as you develop this new mindset. It's normal to experience moments of self-doubt, but by consciously choosing positive self-talk, you can gradually rewire your thoughts and beliefs. Over time, talking yourself into things will become second nature, opening up a world of possibilities. You’ll see, it’s like magic!  --- Before you go, I want to leave you with this message: embrace the power of talking yourself into things. Negative thoughts and self-talk are just that: talk. They’re words, and often not your own. Don’t believe everything you think, and certainly not the crappy stuff you tell yourself. You are the leader of your life, and that includes your thoughts. By choosing positive and reaffirming thoughts, you can unlock your true potential and completely transform your reality. I’m a living testament to it, and so many others are too! Just remember that every great accomplishment starts with believing in yourself! Here’s this week’s "f*ck it, let's do it" experiment: my invitation this week is to practice self-empowerment from the inside out by changing the way you speak to yourself. Every time you catch yourself thinking something negative, hit the pause button and reframe those thoughts into positive and empowering ones. For example, if you're thinking, "I'm not good enough," or “this will never work” flip the script and say, "I’m worthy of love, success, and all the good things life has to offer." If you catch yourself saying, "I can't do this," switch it up and proudly state to yourself, "I am capable, and I have the strength and resilience to overcome any challenge." If you want to dive a little deeper, here’s an act of daily rebellion for you. Embrace the power of positive affirmations. Choose one affirmation each day that directly counters a negative thought or self-doubt you often think. Repeat this affirmation to yourself throughout the day. Remember, the journey of transformation you’re on takes practice and patience. Don’t give up on the first few tries. Keep at it, and it will work for you! I promise! If you have a personal story or questions about this episode or if you’d like to connect with me for any reason, I would love to hear from you! Feel free to reach out to me on Instagram @muriellemarie or via email at murielle@muriellemarie.com. Wishing you a fulfilling and positively affirming week ahead. Bye for now, and may you think thoughts that reflect the rockstar that you are! Just a heads up: I am not a therapist or doctor! If you're not feeling your best mentally or physically, and you need some help, please make sure to consult with a medical professional or a therapist. --- Click here for the show notes. Check out my blog for more tips on how to get unstuck. Connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIN (don't be shy, I love meeting new people!). Sign up to be notified when my Get Unstuck! book is available.

Hi! I’m back with a new episode of the "Get Unstuck with Murielle Marie," podcast, where we explore what it means to be stuck and find inspiration to live our best lives. I'm your host, Murielle Marie, and in today's episode, I want to dive deep with you into the subject of failure, and how to not let it define you. I’m going to start by sharing some personal stories of failure - ahum - from my own life and entrepreneurial adventures. I’ll add in a few stories from my coaching clients and offer a bit of a philosophical perspective on why our failures don't define us. Plus, we'll explore how we can transform failures into positive experiences. Let's get started! What’s the fear of failure and where does it come from? The fear of being wrong or making mistakes is often connected to perfectionism. And that’s certainly true. Being afraid of making a mistake or doing something “wrong” (quote - unquote) is something that we are conditioned into almost from the day that we’re born. As children we learn how to behave by being reprimanded for the mistakes that we make.  There’s also a neuroscientific and biological element to this: being able to learn from our mistakes is how our ancestors survived the planes of the Savannah, and how we have made it to today. So there are advantages to being able to recognize mistakes, learning from them and improving our choices and actions over time. However, and this is where things become tricky, for many (my former self included), the fear of failure can become so overwhelming that it gets us - and keeps us stuck. Being afraid to make mistakes is not only related to perfectionism; it's often a solid pull for staying where you are instead of trying to change your life. But the type of failure that keeps us stuck is a fallacy.  As I’ve mentioned, it's a construct we take with us from childhood, often given to us by caregivers or teachers. Since so much of our growing up centers around learning to play nice and avoiding mistakes when we finally reach adulthood, many have it drilled into our very core that taking any misstep is dangerous. If, as an adult, you’ve ventured out and made mistakes in your personal or professional life, that can add up to making it even harder to be willing to jump again and try new things. The fear that it might not work out can be a powerful block to achieve your dreams and goals.  But the reality is that we ALL, continuously, MAKE mistakes. AI, as a concept (yes, I’m going on a tangent here but bare with me for a second), is built on how our brain works (loosely). How does AI learn and become better? By making mistakes and improving its decision-making process based on what it learns from them. Of course, and this is why AI is so incredible and dangerous at the same time, since it has a capacity to make mistakes, it can also come to wrong conclusions and make big ones. There’s a really cool spreadsheet by the way, available online, and created by one of my favorite AI researchers, Victoria Krakovna. She has some great talks on YouTube as well (I’ll add some links in the show notes). The spreadsheet, which I’ll link in the show notes, is a running list of specification gaming in AI (AI systems coming up with "hacks" to solve problems). Those hacks, although clever, are mistakes or at least misinterpretations of the rules of the games. Needless to say, they’re usually not conducive to a game well played, although they are usually providing the AI system with a win. Google AI gaming hacks if you want to know more about it, it’s super interesting stuff! Anyway, back to the fear of making mistakes and not making mistakes define us. AI systems don’t really care about the mistakes they make, they just want to learn from them. In a way, it’s the same with us - or should be. But because there is such an emotional component to making mistakes - mostly because of other people and “what they will think” - mistakes and failure are often hard to swallow. One thing that can help to handle the fear of failure better is to talk about it more openly. Think about it? When does one ever talk about all the things that didn’t work out for them to get where they are today? Seldomly!  We have a tendency to highlight the success stories of our role models and to ignore or sweep under the carpet this other side of the success coin: that no big win ever happens without big learnings - and thus big mistakes as well.  To help demystify failure I’ll share with you a number of big mistakes I’ve made in my life. I feel secure and confident as a human being today, and as an entrepreneur. I wouldn’t feel this confident if I hadn’t made all the mistakes that I did. Each time - and some of them were really expensive, believe me - they allowed me to grow and add information and insights to my knowledge base of how life and business work.  One of the things that making a lot of mistakes helped me do most is to not be afraid of actually making mistakes. This is probably the #1 reason why I have the confidence (most of the time) to take the risks I take,  to continue to chase my dreams, and to dream bigger dreams! So, ok, a few of my mistakes (vulnerability alert): I once paid someone I hardly knew €20000 (now worth about €30000) for a franchise. The business didn’t exist, the guy left for another country the day after I’d paid him. A few weeks later he sent me a picture of the jet ski he bought with my money. Never heard from him again. Also never signed any agreements without absolute proof again.I once, in the early days of my first business, accepted to put the phone bill of one of my independent sales guys on my company after he pleaded with me and told me he would only use it for emergencies and to call clients. He left after a month. A few days later I received a bill for €4000 for his phone calls in the mail. I paid it. And never gave anyone an open phone bill contract in my name or that of my company again.A few years into my first business, I got a call from a London law firm enquiring about my willingness to sell a trademark that I’d purchased a few years before. I wasn’t doing anything with the trademark and was so excited about the opportunity that I accepted their offer without negotiating. Once the trade was made I realised what company was behind the purchase and that I could (and should) have asked for 5 times more. I never again accepted an offer at face value, and have negotiated all sales after that point. Still hurts sometimes though, hahaha. That’s what lessons do though, if they don’t hurt a bit we don’t learn. At least that’s how I’m wired. I have many, many more where those came from. But you get the point. Every time something happened that didn’t work out well for me, I learned from it. I think that’s the best we can do: no do the thing again, but instead figure out a better way. The same is true for my clients.  Let’s take Sarah - I’ll call her the Aspiring Entrepreneur Sarah had always dreamt of starting her own business. She had a passion for baking and wanted to open a bakery of her own. But she constantly worried about not being a good enough baker, the potential financial risks, and the possibility of disappointing the people around her. So for many years, Sarah never took the leap and remained stuck in her unfulfilling job. She would bake on the weekends and every minute she was free, and everyone knew how good her cakes and muffins were,  but the fear of failure paralyzed her. Eventually she had to jump, fear of failure and all. Because that’s the thing: you have to do it with the fear, if you wait for the fear to go away, you’ll never do it because that will never happen! Or take Mark - let’s call him the Ambitious Writer Mark was an aspiring writer that I met in a writing class I took. He really wanted to publish his first novel but he constantly doubted his writing and feared rejection from publishers. Now, if there’s one thing I know about the publishing world it’s that you’ll get rejected - ALOT. So being afraid to fail is probably the worst fear you can have, because it could keep you stuck forever. In Mark's case, his finished manuscript remained hidden in a drawer, and it took him a massive amount of courage to finally take the step to send it to a publisher. After a few painful rejections, his dream of becoming a published author became a reality. And that’s how it is with every dream or goal. You have to accept failure, mistakes, rejection as a potential side effect. If you don’t, you’ll never do anything meaningful!  So we know that the fear of failure can paralyze us, prevent us from pursuing our dreams and stifle our personal growth. That’s just the fear part though, and the easy bit. Eventually, we can all muster the courage to jump. But what if we start to identify with our failures? What if we start to believe that we are the failure?   When the fear of failure becomes deeply ingrained in us, it can manifest as a powerful self-perception. The belief that we are the failures, rather than experiencing failure as a temporary setback or learning opportunity, can be profoundly damaging. I see it in my work regularly. People who are so stuck and paralyzed because they’ve become convinced they can’t do anything right or will never have what it takes to go after what they really want. This happens when failure intertwines with our sense of self-worth, distorting our perception of who we are and what we are capable of. When we identify with failure this way, we start a cycle of self-doubt and self-sabotage. We hesitate to take risks or pursue new opportunities. To overcome this, it’s important to recognize that failure is not a reflection of our inherent worth. We are not our failures. Failure is a natural part of the journey toward success and growth. It’s through failure that we gain valuable insights, learn important lessons, and develop resilience. By shifting our perspective, we can begin to see failure as an essential stepping stone to the life we want to be living. Ultimately, our relationship with failure shapes our path in life. If I had let myself be guided by my first big mistakes, I might never have taken any risks after that. I came across a Marilyn Monroe quote a few days ago, that is so on point with this episode: “Just because you failed once, it doesn’t mean you’re going to fail at everything.”  It’s important to remember that failure will happen, but so will success. They go hand in hand.  Throughout history, many philosophers and thinkers have pondered the nature of failure and its impact on our lives. Friedrich Nietzsche, who believed that failures are necessary steps on the path to success. He emphasized the importance of embracing our failures as they provide valuable opportunities for growth and self-discovery. I love Nietzsche who reminds us that failure is not an endpoint but a catalyst for personal evolution. Another philosopher I really like is Epictetus. He said that failure itself doesn’t define us but rather our response to it. He believed that our character is shaped by how we handle setbacks and challenges. Epictetus encourages us to view failures as external events that we can't control, but we can control our attitudes and responses to them.  So, how can we transform our failures into positive experiences?  To reprogram your nervous system into knowing that nothing terrible happens when you fail - and that failure is simply part of living and achieving your dreams - you can start with little experiments with friends, family, and loved ones. Forget the condiments next time you set the dinner table and go, "oops, my bad" if anyone notices, misplace your mom's glasses and see how she reacts when you tell her about your "mistake," go to a restaurant and order something you don't want and change your mind when it arrives.  Some other practical strategies that have worked with coaching clients (and myself) include: Self-reflection: Take the time to reflect on your failures, examining the lessons they hold and the areas for growth you can identify as a result.Learn and adjust: Use failures as opportunities to learn and refine your strategies. Adjust your approach based on the insights gained from your experiences.Cultivate resilience: Develop a resilient mindset by viewing failures as temporary setbacks, not permanent mistakes. Remember that failure is not indicative of your worth or potential.Reframe failures as opportunities: Instead of dwelling on the negative aspects of failures, reframe them as opportunities for personal growth, learning, and redirection.So basically (and I have to thank a conversation I had with my friend Lotte recently for this wrap-up): trying not to make mistakes is useless, we’re human, we’ll keep on making them. Being willing to deal with them appropriately (apologize when we need to, learn what there is to learn, move on and do better next time) is a much better strategy. It’s not easy, and it requires courage, but it is the most effective way to grow and become a better person. --- Yay! That’s it for this episode.  Before we end today, here's this week's "f*ck it, let's do it" experiment. This week I invite you to - tada - make mistakes! Use the options above, or come up with your own little experiments to help your nervous system accept mistakes and experience how harmless they actually are.  If you're feeling inspired, here's a little act of daily rebellion this week: Embrace the joy of imperfection. Choose one activity or task each day where you intentionally allow yourself to make mistakes without judgment or self-criticism. It could be something as simple as trying a new recipe, experimenting with a creative project, or engaging in a physical activity outside of your comfort zone.   For example, if you enjoy painting, intentionally create a piece where you focus on expressing yourself freely, without worrying about perfection or the final outcome. Allow the colors to blend imperfectly, let go of the need for precision, and embrace the process rather than fixating on the end result. Similarly, in conversations or interactions, challenge yourself to express your thoughts and opinions openly, even if it means stumbling over your words or not having all the answers. If you have a story of overcoming failure or if you'd like to get in touch with me, I’d love to hear from you! Connect with me on Instagram @muriellemarie or via email at murielle@muriellemarie.com. Have a great week! Break a leg! :) Bye for now. Just a heads up: I am not a therapist or doctor! If you're not feeling your best mentally or physically, and you need some help, please make sure to consult with a medical professional or a therapist. --- Click here for the show notes. Check out my blog for more tips on how to get unstuck. Connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIN (don't be shy, I love meeting new people!). Sign up to be notified when my Get Unstuck! book is available.

Hello again! Happy Monday! Welcome to a new episode of the Get Unstuck! Podcast. I've been thinking about this episode for a while and am excited to share it! This week, I'll be discussing how to stop systematically underestimating yourself.  You know, when you're constantly putting yourself down, telling yourself you can't do something or that you're not good enough for a specific task. I'll discuss some techniques to help you recognize and reprogram your negative thought patterns and the power of reframing. Reframing has been so important in my life, and it's one of the techniques I often use with clients (or with you at the end of this episode) when I have them do real-life experiments. As a psychological technique, reframing helps us look at things, problems, challenges, ourselves, and our behavior from different angles. It can give us new perspectives and help us find new ways of being and experiencing the world in unexpected places.  So why do we tend to underestimate ourselves? It may stem from various factors, including low self-esteem, past failures, and societal pressures to conform to certain expectations. But whatever the cause, underestimating yourself can prevent you from achieving your full potential and living your desired life. Every time I dream up a big thing I want to do, when fear sets in, one of the things I do every single time is tell myself that I won't be able to make it. That's underestimating yourself. Perhaps you do it too. If you do, know that you're not alone. This is something so many people struggle with, often unconsciously. The thoughts come and go so fast that we mistake them for reality or assume that what we hear is who we are. But that is so far from the truth. The TEDx talk I gave a few years back is entitled "Don't believe anything you think," There's a good reason for that. Our thoughts are just that, thoughts. The voices in our heads are those of many people, not just our own - in fact, not often our own. They're the voices of our caretakers, peers, and society. On top of that, they're fleeting. They come and go, so why do we take them seriously? Why would we think they have something to do with reality or who we really are? I have some previous podcast episodes that talk in more detail about our brains and neocortex and give some answers to those questions. So feel free to give those a listen. For this episode, the vital thing to remember is that: you are not your thoughts. I first heard this in an 8-week mindfulness training I enrolled in over a decade ago. My parents had passed suddenly some months before that, and I was going through one of the darkest periods of my life. I'd never meditated, sat in a circle with others, and never shared my feelings openly with strangers. And I certainly never had given my thoughts a second thought. When I entered the room that first evening of class, I was convinced that everything I was hearing in my head was my truth and my voice. The teacher had us sit in a circle (ahem) and check-in. I'd never done that before; it felt so horribly uncomfortable.  After that, she started talking about the mind and how it plays tricks on us. I can still see and hear her say: "You know, you are not your thoughts; you don't have to believe them." I still get goosebumps every time I think about it (I got them now!). That was such an epiphany for me. Until that point, I had believed everything - EVERYTHING - my mind was telling me, making my life difficult, small, miserable even. My thoughts stressed me out and made me anxious; I never had a quiet moment in my head. There was always, always a conversation going on. Or an imaginary fight with all the people that did me wrong or didn't understand me. I felt so overwhelmed and exhausted; it was terrible. That first evening with the teacher changed my life. It was like a light switch going off in my head. Since then, whenever I hear myself think something that doesn't make me feel good or takes away from who I really am, I remember her words: don't believe anything you think. That doesn't mean that I don't ever believe my thoughts; it's more like getting to choose which one of them I want to focus on and let guide me through the day. It takes practice, no doubt about that. But starting with awareness is a significant first step in this journey. So the question then becomes, how do you stop underestimating yourself? As I mentioned, the first step is to be aware of what you're telling yourself. Once you know what's going on in your head, you can choose where your focus is and which thoughts to believe. A great way to do that is through journaling or talking it out with somebody (a coach or a therapist). That way, you can get perspective on what's happening and how much of it is true. One of our clients, Denise, is a talented graphic designer who doubles as a wedding planner. Even though she delivers quality work to nothing but happy clients, Denise tends to underestimate her abilities. Despite receiving praise and recognition from partners and clients, she always thinks she could do better. This mindset led her to turn down a big design project because she believed she couldn't deliver the client's needs. A few months later, she saw the new visual identity of that client - the work done by one of her peers - and it wasn't nearly as good as her unique style and the quality she is known for.  This tendency to underestimate herself occurred a few times in her coaching sessions. After some work, experimenting, and introspection, Denise understood the dynamics of her beliefs. What brings her to underestimate herself is fundamentally a lack of self-confidence. When she feels equal to her clients or in charge of a project, she doesn't hear the voice in her head telling her how she won't be able to deliver. But when she looks up at someone, thinks of them as more than her, or feels like she doesn't have the exact perfect skills to do a job, that's when the voice shows up. By understanding when the voice shows up, Denise is now about to assess which beliefs are true and which ones she should let go of, so she can move on to more significant projects confidently. Eventually, we can achieve more and reach our fullest potential by accepting the discomfort of growth. Another client, let's call him Isaac, had a business idea that he was passionate about. Still, he hesitated to pursue it because he didn't think he had the necessary skills or experience to become an entrepreneur. I hear this so often in my work. Talented creatives with innovative and exciting ideas, but they're too afraid to take the next steps. I asked Isaac his beliefs about himself and why he felt unworthy of following his dreams. He realized he was letting fear hold him back from pursuing his idea. His fear was rooted in a belief that if he put himself out there, he would fail, and people would judge him. When Isaac was younger, he'd been bullied at school. Becoming an entrepreneur meant showing himself to the world, and that was a scary thought for him because of what he had gone through as a child. We worked together to challenge those beliefs, and eventually, Isaac was able to take the necessary steps to launch his business successfully. How we think about ourselves significantly impacts our lives, so we must become aware of our thoughts and how they affect us and then make conscious choices about how we want to think and feel. We can't let our past experiences dictate our future. And we don't have to underestimate ourselves either. Here's an example from my own life. In the previous episode of this podcast, I spoke about how I sometimes get scared of my dreams. Not because I won't achieve them, but because of how big the shoes are that I think I have to wear to be the person to achieve those dreams. In a way, that, too, is underestimating myself. It doesn't happen that often anymore, but I used to underestimate myself in many things: as a coach, friend, and entrepreneur.  That last one is a good example. Although I've been an entrepreneur for over 20 years, it's only in the last few that I've started to feel like I deserved to call myself that. Before that, I always felt like I was faking it and didn't really know what I was doing. Another way I systematically underestimated myself was when it came to putting myself out there through writing. I didn't think anyone could be interested in reading what I had to say. It took a lot of courage and practice to let go of those beliefs and start showing up as the real me - the writer I now proudly call myself and know myself to be. Underestimating yourself sucks because it keeps you from doing things you could perfectly be doing. I wasn't a better writer or knew more about writing the day I started putting pen to paper; the only difference was that I had found the courage to do it. And that's precisely why you should stop underestimating yourself today and start showing up as the real you. Now, whenever I feel myself underestimating what I can do or achieve, instead of getting discouraged, I take a step back, look at what is going on and decide to do exactly the opposite of what the voice in my head is telling me: I do what I'm afraid of doing. So, how can we stop underestimating ourselves? I've touched on some ways already; let me quickly summarize: Don't believe everything you think. Challenge your negative self-talk: When you hear that little voice telling you you're not good enough, challenge it. Ask yourself if there's evidence to support those thoughts or if they're just baseless beliefs. Reframe negative thoughts into positive, empowering ones. Take risks: Whether starting a business, applying for a job, or challenging your assumptions. Remember that it only looks like a risk because you're afraid of it. Most things only look scary until they are done because they're not difficult at all - we just think they are! Taking the first step towards something difficult can be incredibly hard, but once you take that step, your confidence will increase and help you to keep going. Do the opposite of what fear tells you to do: Being brave doesn't mean getting scared. Fear is a natural part of life. It's up to us how we decide to deal with it, so when fear rears its ugly head, challenge it and do what you're afraid of doing. Again, we do this because fearful thoughts aren't true, but if we listen to them and do what they tell us, we won't do much. Keep a bravery list: Think about all the times you've been brave - even if it was something small like starting a conversation with someone or taking a risk in business. Writing down these experiences, and reading through them daily as I do, can help remind you that you can face your fears and make things happen. Practice self-compassion: Be kind and gentle with yourself when the voice in your head makes you question yourself when you hesitate or are afraid. Replace criticism with self-talk that encourages and empowers you to make the right decisions.The good news? You can start today, right now, by noticing your thoughts about yourself and replacing them with more positive ones. Believe in yourself; you are capable of far more than you think! Systematically underestimating yourself is not going to help you achieve your dreams. However, recognizing your strengths, practicing self-compassion, challenging negative self-talk, and taking action towards your goals will. Remember that the only limits are the ones we impose on ourselves. No matter how much you sometimes doubt yourself, know that you can achieve and succeed no matter what your dreams may be. -- OK, enough cheerleading for now! That's it for today! I hope you found this helpful and can use some of the advice to stop underestimating yourself.  Before we end today, here's this week's "f*ck it, let's do it" experiment. This week I invite you to start challenging the negative self-talk. Whenever you catch yourself talking down to yourself, I want you to challenge it and replace it with a positive statement - and action! Immediately take the action that you're afraid of to prove yourself wrong. That way, you'll be able to see how capable and strong you are.  If you're feeling super brave, here's a little act of daily rebellion this week: instead of underestimating yourself, I want you to overestimate yourself this week. Whenever you want to do something or be something, instead of shying away from the opportunity, I want you to act as if you have all the confidence in the world. And see what happens. Thank you again for joining me today. Have a great week! :) Bye for now. Just a heads up: I am not a therapist or doctor! If you're not feeling your best mentally or physically, and you need some help, please make sure to consult with a medical professional or a therapist. --- Click here for the show notes. Check out my blog for more tips on how to get unstuck. Connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIN (don't be shy, I love meeting new people!). Sign up to be notified when my Get Unstuck! book is available.

Hi! It's Monday! And I'm back from NYC - the two weeks I spent there were amazing. This was - by far - the best trip I ever went on, and I can't wait to go back. There's just something about being in NYC as an entrepreneur... there's an energy that I can't find anywhere else. But for some strange reason (or maybe not so strange, I'll tell you all about it in a minute), this trip also made me start thinking about fear and how we sabotage ourselves from achieving our dreams. We're all capable of great things, but often, we let fear get in the way.  We keep ourselves small and play it safe instead of taking risks and pursuing what we want. I used to think this was about being afraid of failing - because if you never try anything new or challenging, you can't fail either. But I'm not so sure anymore. I used to think I feared my dreams because I couldn't make them come true. But now, after many years of achieving my goals and helping so many other people achieve theirs, too, I think there might be something else going on: I'm not afraid I won't make it, I'm afraid that I will - I'm afraid of what I perceive to be the "enormity" of my dreams, and NYC definitely unlocked that feeling for me. When I founded a software security start-up there back in 2015, I felt it too, but it was different. The dream was to try and see if it could work. When you put yourself in that headspace, you're not too attached to the outcome. Of course, you want it to succeed, but since you haven't done it before, it's healthy to be a little bit cautious about the potential success of your enterprise. At least, that is how I approach new things that I do and what I encourage my clients to do as well: you can't know for sure that something you've never done before will work. However, you can have a goal and do your best to achieve it. If you do: perfect! If you don't, no big deal: you learned something. And that learning will make it easier for you to succeed next time. So when I embarked on that start-up adventure in NYC back then, it was all about taking the plunge without knowing where I would land. And I was OK with that because it was all so new. That start-up did work out. I'm not associated with the project anymore, but that's because of personal reasons. I hope it's still going well, and I'm proud to have been part of it. But this most recent trip was different because my dreams are no longer small or new. I've done many things since, including investing in other people's businesses, building a successful international coaching practice, and writing a book in its third edition that sells well online. More recently, I've started incubating a new start-up project in the DEI and inclusivity field and fundraising for new and exciting initiatives. I'm eight years further along my entrepreneurial journey since launching that start-up.  It's crazy how life works. As a creative generalist, I know I need variety to stay engaged and inspired to do my best work. When I start to feel the "itch," that internal jitter that tells me it's time to start thinking about something else or something new, I've learned to follow it. What's cool about it is that the new thing I decide to do always builds on what I've done before. That's the "glue" I so often talk about. Creative entrepreneurs, or people with multiple interests and passions, can look very disorganized to the outside world. It's often unclear to others why we like what we like or do what we do. It's not unclear to us! We are the glue, the common denominator that makes everything come together and make sense. That's true for me and the new projects I'm putting together. So even though what I'm doing now is a logical continuation of my journey so far, combining everything I have learned, believe in, am passionate about, and want to create more of in the world - it also feels so much bigger and scarier. The reason is that I can't tell myself I'm just a beginner anymore; I can't pretend I haven't learned a thing or two about business or that I haven't done some of this before. I don't really believe it won't work out; in fact, if I put my mind to it, there's a big chance it will work out, and I will get what I want. And this is the scary bit. Big dreams come with big life changes, responsibilities, and transitions. And this is why sometimes we sabotage ourselves. It's more comfortable to stay where we are, even if we know it's not where we want to be. It's familiar, cozy, and easy. We're sitting in our comfort zones, minding our business, and don't want to leave - even though we know we could be or do so much more. One of the major fears that show up with big dreams is the fear of failure. But it's not the only one, perhaps not the main one. Life is more challenging, messier, and more complicated when trying to go after your dreams. But it's also much richer, more adventurous, exhilarating, meaningful, and far more rewarding than just sitting on the sidelines. It led me to wonder why we sabotage ourselves from achieving great things. Why do we keep ourselves small when we want so much more deep down inside? An excellent book about this is The Upper Limit by Gay Hendricks. I'll link it in the show notes. So the real icky, scary piece, I believe, is this: to achieve big dreams, we have to become different people. If you want to be the CEO of a social impact start-up in NYC, you must find the courage to fill those shoes. If your dream is to become a thought leader or investigative journalist who shares strong opinions, you must grow into the person with that voice. In a society that tells us not to shine too much, to be humble, cautious, to fear change and uncertainty... It's not easy to believe we can grow into the people we need to be to fit our dreams. That, to me, is the main reason we're afraid of our dreams. Am I worthy of my dreams? Can I be the person that I imagine living this dream? Can I really fill those shoes? We can. We can become the people our dreams are asking us to be. There's a story behind every vision, and if we take the time to find out what that story is, we will understand why it matters so much to us - and why we should keep pursuing it no matter how scary or uncomfortable it might feel at times. Once you're clear about the story you believe about yourself, you can tell yourself a new one - the one in which you become bigger than your fear, bolder than your doubts, and wiser about yourself and your capabilities. If you don't believe me, let me share with you two of my favorite examples: The first is a client who always wanted to be a creative entrepreneur but never dared to leap. She was afraid of failing but mostly of succeeding. Her corporate job was draining her, and she was recovering from a severe burn-out when we started working together. What she found out about her story was that she had been taught since childhood to conform, to fit into a box, and not stand out in any way. So even though she yearned for bigger challenges and creativity, to call herself an artist (she was a brand designer but also a painter, dancer, and jewelry maker), it wasn't easy for her to go against what felt so familiar - being a small fish in a big pond. Once she realized why this dream mattered so much to her, going after it became easier; because it was no longer just about succeeding or failing at something in the future but rather honoring who she truly was. The number one reason she succeeded is that she saw that she could become the artist her dreams needed her to be. And she did! She now has a beautiful portfolio business selling art, offering art-therapy workshops to help people heal from stress and burn-out, and she's taking the first steps to creating a hub for artists and creatives to come together. The second example is my story: we didn't have much growing up. My parents were lower middle-class; my mom was a stay-at-home mom, and my father was a hardworking man, for sure, but also a human with many complex and traumatic personal issues. Growing up in that environment was challenging. Nothing about it invited my siblings or me to think big, imagine a bright future for ourselves, or even recognize our worth. As much as I wanted to rise above it, I often felt incredibly small and powerless. It took me many years of personal growth and taking leaps of faith to finally understand that my dreams didn't have anything to do with my parents or the situation I was born in - they were invitations from a part of myself that could see what was possible for me far beyond the limitations and struggles of my upbringing. These stories show us that we can grow into the people our big dreams require. But it starts with self-awareness: understanding why our dreams matter to us and how we can become bigger, better versions of ourselves to make them come true. It's not easy; our biography, past experiences, and upbringing can never entirely go away - but it is worth it. This is why fear can signal that you're doing something right! Often, after a first coaching session, when clients have defined the goals we will work on together, they tell me they're afraid when I ask them how they feel. I love it when that happens! It's a sign that we're on the right track and that what they envision really matters to them. Because if what you are creating or imagining feels scary (or even terrifying), it's probably because your dream is worth making real. It means at least one thing: it requires you to grow, step out of your comfort zone, look differently at your life and what is possible, and expand yourself beyond who you know yourself to be today. In this way, your dreams become a doorway for personal growth if only you are brave enough to follow them! So don't be afraid of your dreams! Step into them bravely and embrace what comes next with curiosity and courage because you never know where they will take you. Believe in your power to grow into the person worthy of living your dream life - and if you do, I promise you won't regret it. --- OK, we're done for today! Hopefully, this episode inspired and motivated you to pursue your dreams, no matter how daunting they may be. Remember, fear is often a sign that we're on the right track and that it's worth doing whatever it takes to make our dreams come true. Before you go, here's this week's "f*ck it, let's do it" experiment. This week I want you to think about one dream or idea you've had for a while that feels scary, overwhelming, or terrifying. You know you want to do it, but you just can't get yourself to. Spend some time reflecting on how you can become the person that is capable of making this dream come true - recognize what knowledge and skills you need to develop to make it happen. What kind of relationships do you need to build? What beliefs do you need to cultivate? What needs to change about your life? Then take one step towards becoming that person. If you're feeling up to it, here's a little act of daily rebellion this week: fake it until you make it. Pretend you already have the courage, strength, and knowledge to make your dream come true. How would you think, talk and act differently? Be that person this week and see how your life changes! Thanks for listening, everyone. Until next time – remember to own your power and take control of your life. Take care, have fun, and be kind to yourself! Bye! Just a heads up: I am not a therapist or doctor! If you're not feeling your best mentally or physically, and you need some help, please make sure to consult with a medical professional or a therapist. --- Click here for the show notes. Check out my blog for more tips on how to get unstuck. Connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIN (don't be shy, I love meeting new people!). Sign up to be notified when my Get Unstuck! book is available.

In this episode, I'm looking at business busy seasons up close and discussing strategies to manage the growing pains that accompany them. I will provide tips for staying sane when things get too busy and making the most out of these hectic times. I will also talk about why it's important to give ourselves permission to take a break every now and then, especially when we're under so much pressure.  Ever since I became an entrepreneur, I've struggled to reap the harvest of my hard labor. Sometimes I've planted seeds for months or years without seeing any sprouts come out. But each time, without exception, once they did, they all decided to come out at once! I remember one time, I'd just started the next iteration of my web agency; this was back in 2010-2012; I'd put out some ads online for specific services I wanted to offer, and suddenly, in a very short period of time (those were the good days of online marketing haha) my inbox was buzzing with all kinds of customer inquiries and projects. It was amazing but also such a learning curve. --- Click here for the show notes. Check out my blog for more tips on how to get unstuck. Connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIN (don't be shy, I love meeting new people!). Sign up to be notified when my Get Unstuck! book is available.

In this episode, I'm discussing career change and what to consider if you want to do it successfully. I've been a business and career coach for almost a decade, and through the years I’ve helped people transition into something new, I've realized there are certain key elements that will ensure your career change is a success. Some things can make career transitions harder or not successful at all. One of those things, and perhaps the biggest one, is not to take at least a little bit of time to get to know yourself better and investigate the career you are considering. I often compare career change to dating. Just like you want to be clear on what's important to you in a partner and what you bring to the table, it's essential to get to know your potential career before you commit to it, just like you would do with a person. --- Click here for the show notes. Check out my blog for more tips on how to get unstuck. Connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIN (don't be shy, I love meeting new people!). Sign up to be notified when my Get Unstuck! book is available.

I've been plagued with the feeling that it's only a matter of time before someone finds out I don't really know what I'm talking about, that I'm not qualified for the job, that even though I've done well in the past, I probably won't do well in the future. It comes in waves; I have times of confidence and creative energy when I feel I can take on the world and produce a lot of work, and then other times, I feel like I'm worthless and that somebody is about to expose me as a fraud. This is common. I hear stories like that all the time. I have stories like that. Impostor Syndrome is real and a burden for many creatives and entrepreneurs. At its core, it's about not being able to internalize your accomplishments; whatever you achieve, whatever your successes, you simply don't allow yourself to see or feel it. Let's talk about that for a minute because it's important. Why is it so hard for so many of us to accept that we're good at something? To appreciate our successes? To believe that we are capable? In this week's episode I look at potential answers to this complex question. --- Click here for the show notes. Check out my blog for more tips on how to get unstuck. Connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIN (don't be shy, I love meeting new people!). Sign up to be notified when my Get Unstuck! book is available.

Creativity is essential to success as an entrepreneur or creative professional, but it often takes work to get into a groove and consistently produces great work. Fortunately, finding creative flow isn't some crazy secret. The way to get flow is to create, engage your brain, focus, and work. I've learned how to get into that state, and I love it so much that I want more. It's like meditation, which is essential for my happiness and sanity. In this week's episode, I dive deep into how understanding your own creative process can help spark innovation and productivity in every aspect of life – follow along as we explore the science behind creativity so that you can maximize yours! So, if you're feeling stuck and uninspired when creating content - whether it's a podcast, blog post, article, book, video, spreadsheet, report, or anything else - this episode is for you. --- Click here for the show notes. Check out my blog for more tips on how to get unstuck. Connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIN (don't be shy, I love meeting new people!). Sign up to be notified when my Get Unstuck! book is available.

Perfectionism is often hard to spot. A lot is going on beneath the surface of hesitation and procrastination. It's a symptom of a bigger problem, usually due to low self-esteem or lack of trust in our abilities. It's been connected to a fixed mindset, the idea that your skills are set and you can't change them, and even to trauma and childhood wounds. Whatever the root cause, perfectionism is a protection mechanism created by our brains in response to our experiences as children (or even later in life) and the beliefs we have accumulated as a result. I'm a recovering perfectionist. You should have seen me ten years ago. Unable to deliver any report or client work without finetuning it for weeks, often after procrastinating on getting started for at least that long. Today, I'm able to finish projects much faster, and more importantly, create better work in the process. More about how to overcome perfectionism, and how to stop sabotaging yourself in this episode. --- Click here for the show notes. Check out my blog for more tips on how to get unstuck. Connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIN (don't be shy, I love meeting new people!). Sign up to be notified when my Get Unstuck! book is available.

Today I want to focus on feminist marketing and inclusive principles and how I apply them in my business. The people in my life, my friends and family, know that I'm a feminist who hates injustice, ignorance and thrives for inclusion; that I do active antiracist work, and how important it is to me for that to be reflected in my work. Although this episode will share my best practices as an entrepreneur, whatever your work is, or even in your personal life, principles that put forth equality and justice are always sound and help shape a better and more equal world. --- Click here for the show notes. Check out my blog for more tips on how to get unstuck. Connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIN (don't be shy, I love meeting new people!). Sign up to be notified when my Get Unstuck! book is available.

Creative generalists are among my favorite kind of people. They're people - and I count myself as one of them, and so do many of my clients and friends - with a broad range of interests and skills across different fields. They could be teachers, entrepreneurs, artists, engineers, mathematicians, scientists, or any combination. Anyone could be a creative generalist, it simply depends on how their creative brain is wired and the way they choose to use it. If you've been listening to my podcast, you might have heard me mention creative generalists a few times, and you may have wondered what exactly it is. If so, you’re in luck! For after this episode you’ll know all about it! --- Check out my blog for more tips on how to get unstuck. Connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIN (don't be shy, I love meeting new people!). Sign up to be notified when my Get Unstuck! book is available.

We all want to be liked and accepted in our lives, whether at work, in our family, at school, or socially. This is a natural and necessary inclination; we're born with it and develop it during childhood. But, when it reaches an excessive level, especially as adults, it can turn into a worrying and even paralyzing habit.  Here's the thing: You cannot control what others think of you.  The good news is it's possible to break free from this cycle of overthinking and worrying about what people think. That's what we explore in this week's episode. --- Check out my blog for more tips on how to get unstuck. Connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIN (don't be shy, I love meeting new people!). Sign up to be notified when my Get Unstuck! book is available.

Let me state it loud and clear: You are allowed to love your job. It is your right to have a job that makes you happy. You don't have to stay stuck in a job that sucks the life out of you and doesn't fulfill you professionally or personally.  Somehow, doing work I love is something I have never questioned. From my first freelance job to what I'm doing now, even though I often let opportunities guide me, I've never had a job I hated - at least not for a long time. When I was doing things I was not particularly eager to do, I quickly moved into doing something else. It's true that I've been a freelancer, consultant, and entrepreneur my entire life, but hating your job is not just something for people stuck in the 9-to-5 or working for someone else. I know many self-employed people, entrepreneurs who despise their jobs, and they don't have to stay stuck there.  In this episode, I share how you can find and do work you love, even if it means leaving your current job. I discuss what steps you should take when looking for a new job, when you want to make the job you have more enjoyable, how to create your dream career, and how to set yourself up for success in a career that makes you happy. --- Check out my blog for more tips on how to get unstuck. Connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIN (don't be shy, I love meeting new people!). Sign up to be notified when my Get Unstuck! book is available.

When working with people to help them get unstuck, I tend to return to what Jim Rohn, an American entrepreneur, author, and motivational speaker, famously said: “We’re the average of the five people we spent the most time with.” From personal experience, I believe that statement to be true. When I look back on the environments I was in at specific periods of my life and what I was doing, I see a direct correlation between the people in my life and the decisions I was making or the dreams I was having. This is what I want to talk about:  that our environment influences our emotions, our emotions influence our thinking, our thinking influences our actions and our actions shape our life. Let's do this! --- Check out my blog for more tips on how to get unstuck. Connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIN (don't be shy, I love meeting new people!). Sign up to be notified when my Get Unstuck! book is available.

Are you someone who gets excited about new ideas? Do you easily get carried away with your enthusiasm? Are you the one, when something needs to be done, whatever it is, that will raise a hand and say "I'll do it!" If you said yes to any of these questions, then this episode is for you! Here I want to talk about something very important, both in your life and especially in your career or business, something that I took a long time to learn and that I tell creatives and entrepreneurs all the time: it’s not because you know how to do something, that you should actually do it. --- Check out my blog for more tips on how to get unstuck. Connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIN (don't be shy, I love meeting new people!). Sign up to be notified when my Get Unstuck! book is available.

Being polite or nice can be a way to be civil and courteous but also a way to avoid real engagement or confrontation. It can be a way to avoid conflict, because it's easier sometimes not to face the situation in front of us. I know that's how I avoided painful situations in the past. Now, I still don't engage in conflict very much, but it's not out of fear, it's more in a "pick your battles" kind of way. I just decide when or not to engage in it. That is very different from avoiding conflict altogether or accepting other people's behavior without ever standing up for yourself. I don't want to talk about that type of culturally accepted politeness that’s a superficial way of being nice or courteous. I want to talk about the type of "being too nice" that affects you in a negative way, in your life and at work or in your business. Being too nice is the kind of attitude that makes you say "yes" to something you don't want to do, that makes you accept disrespect from others and that makes you put your own needs and beliefs aside in order to make someone else happy. The kind that makes a pushover out of you. That's the kind I’m talking about. Do you feel addressed? Then this episode may be useful for you! --- Check out my blog for more tips on how to get unstuck. Connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIN (don't be shy, I love meeting new people!). Sign up to be notified when my Get Unstuck! book is available.

We’re going to talk about your inner rebel! You have one, trust me! It's a funny character. It's keeping you from doing the stuff you say you’re going to do, making trouble but also making sure you don’t get trapped into a life without freedom. Do you feel like this is you? Then you are in the right place! We will go into more depth about your inner rebel and how you can deal with it to move forward in everything you want to do! All of that and a step by step explanation of how I write everything out in a paper planner from StructuurJunkie (The business planner edition) and how you can use my unique freedom schedule strategy in this episode! Let’s get started. --- Check out my blog for more tips on how to get unstuck. Connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIN (don't be shy, I love meeting new people!). Sign up to be notified when my Get Unstuck! book is available.

Until about ten years ago it was very difficult for me to deal with stress and anxiety, especially as an entrepreneur who knew how useful it can be to take more risks and worry less. That’s why I’m so glad I’ve taught myself how to deal with it much better.  One of the things that helped me to get here was overcoming my fear of change, and especially learning to deal with uncertainty. As soon as something used to be uncertain for me, I began to stress and become anxious. And it wasn’t just the big things; small changes and uncertainties could throw me off completely too! There’s no comparison between how anxious and uncomfortable I used to feel just thinking about change, and how I actually enjoy it now because I know that change equals growth, improvement, progress, moving towards your full potential. Without embracing change, I would not be where I am today and I would not feel as happy and successful as I do.  That’s what I talk about in this episode. What the fear of change and uncertainty actually is, how you can deal with it and how you can learn to let go of control in order to grow. --- Check out my blog for more tips on how to get unstuck. Connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIN (don't be shy, I love meeting new people!). Sign up to be notified when my Get Unstuck! book is available.

It seems harmless to tell ourselves something one day and start doing something completely different the next, but this is far from the truth! We’ve been taught to keep promises to others, but we’ve never been told that the same applies to what we tell ourselves. Even though those promises are so much more important! The most important! The biggest problem with this habit is that little by little, with each promise you break to yourself, you also undermine your self-confidence. If you get into a cycle of promising yourself that you will do something, but end up never doing it, you can lose confidence in yourself so much that eventually you just don't believe that you’re capable of anything - besides procrastinating that is. Learning to not break the promises I made to myself has been crucial to achieve this. It seems trivial but in this episode I'll go into more detail about it, because it's been a real eye-opener for me, and I hope it will be for you too. --- Check out my blog for more tips on how to get unstuck. Connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIN (don't be shy, I love meeting new people!). Sign up to be notified when my Get Unstuck! book is available.