Here's the third installment of my delightful and illuminating conversation with the renowned author, educator, and activist Parker Palmer.  You can learn more about him and his work on the website of the Center for Courage and Renewal.   In this episode, Parker reflects on the "power of anger in the work of love" and its relationship with his steadfast commitment to active nonviolence in a troubled and divided world; on the lessons about neighboring that he and his wife Sharon have learned from the family who live next to their backyard; and on the ways that Pause, Purpose, and Possibility show up in his own life.  He leaves us with the gift of not one but two of his poems: "Snow" (you'll love it!) and "Everything Falls Away" (you'll love this one too!)

This week’s episode is the second of what will be a three-part series featuring my rich and delightful conversation with none other than the renowned author and educator Parker J. Palmer.  You can see a more complete introduction of him in the show notes for Episode 23, or on the website for the Center for Courage and Renewal:  couragerenewal.org   A highlight of this part of the conversation revolves around stories and reflections on the importance of (quoting Thomas Merton) "being present in the world in hiddenness and compassion" -- the power of showing up with and for others as we really are.   Parker has written: “My personal legacy? I’d like it to be one of good humor, good will and generosity. I’d like it to be said that we had a lot of laughs, we extended a lot of kindness, and we built an abundant storehouse of heart-and-soul resources that anyone can draw on.”   That’s exactly what you’ll get a taste of as you listen in on my conversation with Parker Palmer.  Welcome, and enjoy!

This week’s episode is the first of what will be a three-part series featuring my rich and delightful conversation with none other than the renowned author and educator Parker J. Palmer.    I am grateful and honored beyond words by Parker’s generosity of spirit and time, every morsel of which begs to be savored – so again, this is the first course of three-course meal, a feast, a bounty of ideas and laughter, mystery and wisdom.   As you’ll hear shortly, Parker’s own introduction of himself is grounded in and reflective of “soul” rather than “ego,” so it falls to me here to offer a brief sketch of some of the highlights of his decades-long, globally impactful work: Parker J. Palmer is a writer, speaker and activist who focuses on issues in education, community, leadership, spirituality and social change. He is founder and Senior Partner Emeritus of the Center for Courage & Renewal, whose work “nurtures deep integrity and relational trust, building the foundation for a more loving, equitable, and healthy world.  Through Circle of Trust retreats and other programs rooted in the Courage & Renewal approach we nurture supportive communities of reflection and practice to help people come alive with a renewed sense of purpose, build trustworthy relationships, and cultivate the courage to rise to today’s challenges, making a difference within themselves and their communities.”   Parker holds a Ph.D. in sociology from the University of California at Berkeley, thirteen honorary doctorates, and many, many other awards, honors, and distinctions.   Palmer is the author of ten books—including several award-winning titles—that have sold over two million copies and been translated into twelve languages: On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity and Getting Old. Healing the Heart of Democracy: The Courage to Create a Politics Worthy of the Human Spirit, The Heart of Higher Education (co-authored with Arthur Zajonc), A Hidden Wholeness, Let Your Life Speak, The Courage to Teach, The Active Life, To Know As We Are Known, The Company of Strangers, and The Promise of Paradox.   A member of the Religious Society of Friends (Quaker), Dr. Palmer and his wife, Sharon Palmer, live in Madison, Wisconsin.   Parker has written: “My personal legacy? I’d like it to be one of good humor, good will and generosity. I’d like it to be said that we had a lot of laughs, we extended a lot of kindness, and we built an abundant storehouse of heart-and-soul resources that anyone can draw on.”   That’s exactly what you’ll get a taste of as you listen in on my conversation with Parker Palmer.  Welcome, and enjoy!

This episode continues our exploration of “pause” by inviting stories of models or exemplars of pause.  Who comes to mind and heart as practicing pause as an act of love? As solitude?  As an expression of care or connection?  Rest and renewal? Simply noticing?  We hear stories of a wide range of inspiration around pause -- where it can come from, what it can consist of, and how it can make for deep and necessary change:  work colleagues, family members, animals, children, music.  And how about pause as resistance or justice-seeking?  Or, in a world where the need and yearning for justice is constant, where there’s always WORK to be done, what keeps pause from being simply an indulgence that’s available only to those who can afford it?  In an average human lifespan of “4000 weeks,” is there really room for pause?  As you’ll hear, the consequences are greater and even more dire if we don’t pause. It’s at the heart and soul of who the broken world needs us to be as we live fully into our callings, into the invitation to be fully alive and present to the world right in front of us.

Each episode of the old TV show "Red Green" would end with the all-male cast gathering for the opening of the regular meeting of the Possum Lodge by bowing their heads for the Man’s Prayer:   I’m a man. But I can change. If I have to. I guess.   While it may be true that some things have changed since then, men still have a lot of work to do – a lot of inner work, a lot of relational work, a lot of anti-racist and anti-misogynist justice work, a lot of maturing and transformation and vulnerability to embrace, a lot of posturing and armor to let go.   My guest this week, Dane Anthony, explores with me some of the ways that change, growth, transformation can happen, and not only among men, starting with questions like:  How would you describe who you are without referring to your professional role or title?  What might you need to “unlearn” in order to open doors and pathways to understanding yourself and your work in the world more deeply and with greater authenticity and joy?  How might exploring new images of God or the holy in one’s life open up access to one’s unique “soulprint,” the sliver or spark of the divine in each of us that invites our truest selves into lives of mattering and belonging?   Dane’s professional path focuses on facilitating conversations of meaning and purpose, helping others to explore the deeper connections that bring awareness and grounded practices to work and relationships. He has fostered engagement-centered leadership in the following contexts: more than 30 years in Higher Education jn university chaplaincy, as a student services administrator, and as a faculty member.spiritual guide and mentor for more than 30 years through spiritual direction, vocational discernment, men’s groups and retreat leadership.20+ years’ experience teaching and consulting with the StrengthsFinder Inventory for individuals and businesses.   Dane earned his bachelor’s degree from Missouri State University, and his Master of Divinity from Midwestern Seminary.  In addition, he holds certifications in Spiritual Direction.  My primary connection with Dane has been as a Facilitator in the Circle of Trust Retreat process in association with Parker Palmer and the Center for Courage & Renewal.     He has been married to Maggie for 30 years. They have 3 grown children.

Going through the boxes (or closets, or backpacks) of the "stuff" of one's life can be, like many things, both daunting and illuminating.  What are you carrying, and what's calling to be "unboxed," to come into the light and air -- maybe in some cases in order to be let go, and in others inviting you to live with intention into openness and possibility?  How might letting go of the overwhelm of too many competing tasks and to-dos, obligations and commitments and priorities and pressures open up new space for meaning, and for your heart's deepest yearnings and joys?  An "unboxed life" might contain habits of thinking and living that maybe served you well at one time, but may no longer serve as well, and need to be reframed or replaced.  It might also contain stories of who you've been or thought yourself to be but maybe are no longer -- and tantalizing hints of the stories that have yet to live themselves out through who you might become.

What if I try this new thing, and some people don’t like me?  My guest this week, Neal Hagberg, voiced these worries of his own many years ago to his then 8-year-old daughter.  Her response (you’ll love it!) set him free to take the risk, and opened up his life in ways he could’ve never imagined. She helped him to realize that “If you free yourself up to really be yourself, then you actually become yourself.” Across our time together he shares other stories of hard choices (letting go of the “safe” and lucrative path of becoming a doctor in order to become a singer-songwriter), of flaws and failures, of the importance of curiosity, beauty, and imagination in the face of all that’s broken in the world.  We explore what it means in that kind of world to choose to “love anyway.”   Neal Hagberg is Director of Tennis & Life Camps at Gustavus Adolphus College, which has been recognized as one of the top tennis camps in the country by Tennis Magazine.  He is a USPTA Elite Professional and has worked at Tennis and Life Camps (TLC) since 1981, and has been director since 2010. In 2019, he received the national Community Service Award from the USPTA and USTA.  In addition to being a teaching pro, Neal designed the “life” portion of TLC with legendary Gustavus coach and teacher Steve Wilkinson, who taught a radical, simple approach to winning more matches: take the focus off winning; and who taught both tennis and life skills by focusing on the only things we can control: our attitude, our effort, and our sportsmanship.   Neal is a 1981 graduate of Gustavus Adolphus College; received his M.Div. at Luther Seminary; and was also a touring singer/songwriter for 25 years with his life-partner Leandra Peak as half of the duo Neal & Leandra.  He performed concerts in 45 states and Canada, in venues ranging from coffeehouses to Carnegie Hall; and is the recipient of two McKnight Artist Fellowships, one for Performing and one for Composing.

The word “matter” can have multiple meanings.  There’s the one which is the overarching focus of this podcast, the one that’s invoked when we say that something or someone “matters” or when I ask, What really does “matter,” and why?    And then there’s the meaning of the word that points to physical, tangible, measurable “matter”: things, objects, the “stuff” that everything is made of, that we can see and smell and taste and touch and hear.... Where I’m really going with this is to wonder about whether and why and how “matter matters.”  This episode explores ways in which our physical, material, embodied existence – from hard work and good food to skin color and mortality – can be part of what it means to live a life that matters.

The need for "pause" is built into the nature of things -- between inhale and exhale as we breathe, between the beats of our hearts, and (as we hear in this episode) between "stimulus and response" throughout our lives.  And yet it's so easy to neglect; it seems immensely difficult to actually do in any kind of consistent and meaningful way in the face of the relentless and frenetic pace of our days.   In this conversation, the members of the Milkweed Group (Kelli, Chris, Colleen, and Kelsey) explore with each other what pause means to us, why it's important, how it can take many different shapes.  Whatever form it takes, however frequent or rare it might be, "pause" is crucial for helping us to shift how we see things, how we understand ourselves and our place in the bigger picture.  Whether as a moment of relative quiet or stillness in the midst of frenzy, or as a burst of movement and physical activity in the face of stagnation, pause invites a reframing, a new and different way of knowing and of being and of living in the world.

When daily life can feel overwhelming, and when EVERYTHING feels like it’s supposed to be a priority, how can it make sense to make plans or have goals at all, let alone to live with intention into a sense of vocation or calling?  My guest this time is the wise and delightful Dr. Danielle McGeough, founder and host of the podcast PlanGoalPlan.  She talks with me about re-imagining what goal-setting and planning can be.  She invites people to step into their full potential in a way that both gives them energy and joy AND calls forth mindfulness and presence.  Noting that women underestimate their capabilities by 50% as compared to men (even more among women of color), Danielle makes the case that planning and goal-setting needs room for adaptability, resilience, and emergence; it needs to fuel an expansive imagination that taps into the deep yearnings and callings within us.  “You wanna learn how to plan?  You wanna hang out with some moms!” she says, and goes on to describe playfulness as key to the relationship between parenting, planning and goal setting, leadership, and improv.   Dr. Danielle McGeough is a professor, mom, business owner, community volunteer, and organization junkie. On the faculty of the University of Northern Iowa in Cedar Falls, Iowa, she has more than 18 years of experience teaching, and a knack for guiding people as they learn about themselves.  She started Plan Goal Plan to help working moms gain clarity on who they are and what matters – and trust me, it’s accessible and meaningful to everyone.

With reminiscences of growing up on a dairy farm in Minnesota as a starting point, this episode wonders:  What really matters, and how do we know?  What does it mean to live a life that matters?  We find ourselves deep in paradox here:  that people and experiences, things and details, my life and yours can both not matter at all, and that they can at the same time matter infinitely and intrinsically.  The scattered details about the rhythms and routines of a particular dairy farm family set to the soundtrack of CCO radio playing in the barn, frozen pizza and rocky road ice cream and D&D adventures and a TV lawyer caring about folks on the margins:  none of it matters, and all of it matters.   This episode is an attempt – one of a collection of attempts over time and across several episodes – to try some ideas on for size.  To wonder aloud.  To sift through memory and story, panning for some grains or nuggets of possibility, to see if I can sit still and be quiet enough to catch even a fleeting glimpse of what matters.  And beyond that, to invite you ever so gently – softly, slowly now – to turn your gaze in the same direction so that we can share a glimpse together, without startling it back into hiding or scaring it into taking flight.

Jacqueline Bussie acknowledges that it took the sudden and tragic death of her best friend and husband, Matt, to help her to “unlearn” the cultural traps of overwork and of equating self-worth with productivity.  In this poignant and delightful conversation, Jacqueline speaks of friendship as her highest calling, of leaning into the long and anguished process of being “reborn” in the years since Matt’s death, and of embracing the importance of rest in seeking justice and in living into the calling to BE a person.  She asks – and invites us to ask ourselves: “What if I left behind all the titles & everything else and just allowed myself to love and be loved – would it be enough?”   Dr. Jacqueline Bussie is an award-winning author, professor, public theologian, and student of life in all its messy beauty, as well as a much sought after speaker and workshop facilitator. Her first book, The Laughter of the Oppressed won the national Trinity Prize. Her 2ndbook, Outlaw Christian: Finding Authentic Faith by Breaking the Rules won the 2017 Gold Medal Illumination Award for Christian Living and received a coveted starred review from Publishers Weekly. Her 3rd and latest book, Love Without Limits: Jesus’ Radical Vision for a Love with No Exceptions won the Reader’s Favorite Bronze Medal International Book Award for Christian Living, the 2020 IAN Outstanding Religion Book of the Year Award, and 3rdPlace IAN Non-Fiction Book of the Year Award. Also, Publisher’s Weekly named Love Without Limits “a must-read for all Christians interested in inclusivity for their communities.” An active servant-leader in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, Jacqueline spent the last twenty years teaching religion to undergraduates at ELCA colleges and serving as the founding Director of the Forum on Faith and Life at Concordia College in Moorhead, Minnesota. Jacqueline's favorite things to do are walk on the beach, read good books, ride in the front car of roller coasters, spend time with friends, and travel to any place she's never been before.

As every season has its mysteries and magic, its occasion for suffering and wonder, ache and awe, its lessons to teach and questions to pose, so does winter. And so do the interior winters of our lives.  What wisdom might the cold and the dark of deep winter hold?  How might our search for meaning and purpose be enriched by winter's harsh rigors -- and its gifts?

Instead of being overwhelmed by "more, bigger, faster," what if it’s possible to live a different kind of life?  What if instead of being shackled to the hamster wheel we take tiny, purposeful, lasting steps toward depth and learning, toward sufficiency and wholeness?    My guest this week is parent and teacher and professional listener Ellie Roscher.   Ellie is also a sought-after workshop and retreat facilitator, a yoga instructor, and prolific author of several books, including Remarkable Rose, The Embodied Path, 12 Tiny Things, Play Like a Girl and How Coffee Saved My Life.  Her writing appears in The Baltimore Review, Eunoia Review, Mothering Spirit, Inscape Magazine, and elsewhere.  She holds an MFA in Writing from Sarah Lawrence College and an MA in Theology from Luther Seminary.  Find out more at ellieroscher.com.    One especially important way to love, she says, is to pay attention.  We’re likely to miss the many wonders of the world around us because we don’t or won’t or can’t slow down enough to listen to the sound of our own breath.  While drinking a glass of water and taking three cleansing breaths a day won’t end systemic oppression, they will shift something.

I’ve been thinking a lot about transitions lately.  Shifts in life.  The long, slow turn into the New Year.  Some of it has been about change, loss, grief.  Letting go, moving on.  In this episode I tell the story of three small birds that have found their way down the chimney (even though the damper was closed), become trapped in the stove, and died.  "I slowly lift each one out with the fingers of my right hand and lay them side-by-side in the palm of my left.  Each is about two, two-and-a-half inches long, fuzzy dark gray feathers (such that they blend right in to the ashes in the stove), with short sharp beaks."   On the day after my encounter with these birds, a wise friend reminded me of the power and importance of ellipses.  In telling a story, he marked a crucial turn by saying “Dot, dot, dot,” verbally indicating the written device … that would signal a pause, an in-between space, the cusp or hinge between what has gone before and what’s yet to come.  His speaking them aloud, drawing them with his voice – dot dot dot – immediately brought to my mind’s eye the fuzzy gray mounds laying side by side across the palm of my hand – dot dot dot.       There is power in attending to the ellipses in our lives, dwelling in the turn from what was to what might be.  Just being in it for a while. In threshold times we are invited to honor, grieve, appreciate, and learn from what lies behind us; breathe in the often astonishing, iridescent details of the here-and-now; and begin to turn to wonder about what’s yet to come.

This episode will drop one day after the annual holiday honoring the life and legacy of the Rev Dr Martin Luther King Jr…. and some three months into the horrific war between Israel and Hamas in the Middle East, not to mention the ongoing war in Ukraine, and deepening political divisions in this country.  King managed to see beyond violence and hatred; his words and his life heralded the possibility of a different kind of world, and more just and life-giving way of being.  In my far-reaching conversation this week with my guest Jeremy Schraffenberger, we talk about (among other things) how words make worlds, and about whether it’s possible to do our work, to live our lives, in ways that people will stop killing each other.  We also talk about the Beetles, music as a means of gathering community, and about the malleability of memory in being human.   Jeremy Schraffenberger is editor of North American Review – the oldest literary magazine in the country, dating back to 1815, and a professor of English at the University of Northern Iowa, where he has taught for fifteen years. He is the author of two books of poems, Saint Joe's Passion and The Waxen Poor, and the forthcoming chapbook American Sad. In addition to writing, he says he strives for mediocrity when playing piano in a local band called The Favorites. He believes in radical mystery and the transformative experience of making and engaging with art. He lives in Cedar Falls, Iowa, with his wife, the novelist Adrianne Finaly, and their two young daughters.

The turn of the calendar is often an occasion to reflect on where you’ve been and where you’re headed, to turn a fresh eye or open heart toward what you want to live into.  Some folks are big into making new years resolutions – I’m not among them, so this episode isn’t about that.  Instead, you’re invited to listen in on a living room conversation among friends.  We wonder with each other:  What's been sparking for you since our very first episode last fall, about Trying Something New?  What makes the difference between change that we experience as loss to be grieved, or as possibility to be embraced as an adventure?  What do we make of the “liminal” or space-between invitation to change, and our decision about whether and how to respond to the invitation? And in the spirit of what Annie Dillard says in her book, The Writing Life: “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives”:  How can we practice being who we are, and are becoming?

My kids grew up loving the "Magic School Bus" books and animated PBS series.  I had great help as a parent from the teacher in those stories, Ms. Frizzle, who was always reminding the kids (including my own): "Take chances! Make mistakes! Get messy!"  Michaela Rice, our guest today, has much the same attitude when it comes to experiencing and learning from the natural world.  In this conversation, she speaks with great honesty about the healing power of change and resilience in nature, in her own journey through depression and burnout, and her boundless gratitude for nature in the face of climate doom. Michaela (she/they) is a Minnesota State Parks and Trails Interpretive Naturalist and was previously a research biologist for the state. Michaela has her Bachelor of Arts in Biology from Gustavus Adolphus College, and a Master of Science in Wildlife and Rangeland Management from Texas A&M University-Kingsville. As you'll hear, she is very excited about all things nature. The curiosities, wonderment, serenity, and complexity of natural processes caused her to pursue a career science. Now, she gets to share those precious moments with visitors to Gooseberry Falls and Split Rock Lighthouse state parks on the North Shore of Lake Superior. A highlight of her days is in connecting people -- especially children -- to the world around them through wellbeing practices, art, observing wildlife, and experiences like berry picking in the summer.  Michaela has a passion for helping injured animals and volunteers with the University of Minnesota Raptor Center. Michaela strives to be an ally in her community by speaking up and speaking out against daily prejudices and creating a sense of belonging for others.

The holidays are powerful times to celebrate the light that shines in winter's darkness.  They also tap into our capacity, our need, for awe and wonder.  The light of the holidays includes the awe-some and awe-inspiring light that we can bring to the dark places of fear and despair, hatred and brokenness of the world.  Our "practice to take with you" this week is from Kelsey Maddox, who shares delightful stories of her family's experience of "awe walking."  She tells of a recent experience with her 11-year-old son which, she says, "pulled me away from my to-do list and all the swirling going on in my head about making the season magical or important, or the day good for my children, and the world a good and safe place -- it pulled me away from all the tendrils of the DOING-that and took me into this moment of BEING-that, of being in awe."

My guest today is my friend, the poet and educator Tristan Richards.  She talks with me about her own version of a journey that I’m guessing is familiar to many of you: a journey into overwhelm and burnout, fueled by the tangled morass of unrelenting professional demands and personal loss and grief, all while struggling to figure out the relationship – and distinction – between career and calling.  We wonder together, what does it mean to be truly present in your own life?   Tristan is the author of two self-published chapbooks: Not All Challenges Are For Us (2022) and The Year Was Done Right (2019). Her poems have been published in ALOCASIA, Writers Resist, trampset, Preposition: The Undercurrent Anthology, the Mankato Poetry Walk & Ride, and Firethorne. Tristan is most well known for creating and facilitating "Unfold: 30 Days of Writing in Community" (a daily poetry writing online workshop every April for National Poetry Writing Month) and other writing workshops. She holds an MA in Leadership in Student Affairs from the University of St. Thomas and a BA in Communication Studies from Gustavus Adolphus College. You can find her on Instagram at @tristanjrichards or at tristanwritespoems.weebly.com