Ben and Heather have put together a "top 10" list of mistakes people make when it comes to child custody disputes.  In this episode they explain why each of these is a mistake and what you could consider doing instead. Bad-mouthing the other parent – especially in front of your child.Trying to make your child feel sorry for you.Refusing to communicate with the other parent.Denying the other parent access to their child.Putting your own interests ahead of your child’s.Making big decisions about your child without consulting the other parent – ie/ school, medical treatment, place of residence.Telling your child that they get to choose their living arrangements.Lying to the court about your drug or alcohol use.Coaching your child before family report interviews.Breaching court orders.

In this episode Ben and Heather are joined by barrister Rhys O'Brien, a specialist in complex family law matters, to talk about how the Court deals with Domestic Violence (Family Violence).  They cover a wide range of topics, including the following: The difference between how a Family Law Court and a Criminal Court view domestic violence.Apprended Violence Orders (AVOs)Does there need to be an AVO in place before the Family Court considers domestic violence claims?What evidence does the Family Court need to satisfy itself that domestic violence is an issue?Will the court require Family Dispute Resolution (mediation) in domestic violence cases?How do accusations of domestic violence affect Parenting Order decisions?Can domestic violence claims impact a Court's decision about a financial settlement? Also discussed was the Family Law Amendment Bill that has been passed through Parliament and will take effect in May 2024 and includes a "streamlined" parenting framework simplifying the "best interests factors".  This legislation may impact how the Court deals with domestic violence issues when deciding children's matters.

This month Ben and Heather addressed a wide array of family law questions from the community, touching on a number of common issues faced by people going through divorce and separation. The questions included: Medical Court Orders: I have court orders giving me sole parental responsibility for my child's medical matters, but the medical centre is still allowing my ex to make decisions.  What should I do?Passport Applications: I want to go overseas with my child, but my ex won't sign the passport application.  What can I do?Visitation in Prison:  My ex has gone to prison recently.  Can I prevent future visitation by my children?Mediation Costs: It's been recommended that I have a solicitor & a barrister at mediation.  Do I need to go to this expense?Domestic Violence: I failed to show up at to court when police charged my ex for domestic violence.  Will this count against me in Family Court?Relocation: My partner is relocating.  Do we need to get a lawyer involved to change parenting arrangements?Property Settlement: If I buy a new car before the property settlement is completed can my ex make a claim on the car?Advising Your Ex: Do I have to advise my ex that I've enrolled our child in daycare, when the child lives with me 100% of the time and I'm paying the costs?Supervised Visits: At what age can a child choose not to attend supervised visits?

On this episode, Ben and Heather were joined by The Honourable Colin Forrest.  Now retired from the Family Court, Colin now handles mediation and arbitration in family law.  We spoke to him about the delicate subject of managing power imbalances, and potentially domestic violence situations, in mediation and arbitration sessions.  Our discussions covered the following subjects: The difference between mediation and arbitration in family law.Whether you can be ordered to engage in mediation or arbitration.How a mediator/arbitrator will identify signs of abuse or power imbalance.Should domestic violence victims avoid mediation or arbitration?How are power imbalances dealt with in a mediation or arbitration setting?What about other vulnerabilities, such as mental health or disability?What does a mediator do if they sense fear or intimidation in a session?What happens if a court-ordered Family Dispute Resolution does not proceed?What are the advantages and disadvantages of online mediation/arbitration?Is a support person helpful in a mediation/arbitration?

On this episode, Ben and Heather are joined by two special guests to discuss the growth of specialist Indigenous family courts, known as Indigenous List.  Retired Federal Circuit Court Judge Robyn Sexton started the very first Indigenous List in Sydney in 2014.  Rick Welsh is proud Murrawarri man and coordinator of The Shed suicide prevention centre focused on Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.  These two worked together to design and implement a specialist Indigenous family law court.  Together they discuss the following: What is the Indigenous List?Why is there a need for a separate court process?How was the Indigenous community engaged with the set-up of the court?Are kin carers treated differently on the Indigenous List than in regular family court?Local experiences with the Indigenous List in Coffs Harbour and Lismore.What services are available to First Nations litigants other than those provided by the courts?How is the introduction of the Indigenous List impacting First Nations families?

On this episode, Ben and Heather discuss Wills and estate planning, bringing our attention to the many things that can go wrong if you fail to keep your Will and estate plan up to date with your life circumstances, particularly following a family breakdown. They discuss the following questions and scenarios: 1/ What happens if you die without a Will? 2/ What happens if you have children from your first marriage, remarry and don't change your Will? 3/ What happens if you separate from your partner, but don't change your Will? 4/ What happens if you divorce your partner, but don't change your Will? 5/ What if you have children, but don't change your Will to include them as beneficiaries? 6/ What if you have children and don't specify guardianship? 7/ When you change your Will can you add notes to an existing Will or do you need to start again? 8/ What assets should (and should not) be included in your Will? 9/ What happens if the estate has debts? 10/ What are the responsibilities of an executor and what should you look for when choosing your executor? 11/ What happens if you have a serious accident or illness that leaves you unable to manage your affairs? 12/ Do you need a lawyer for estate planning or can you DIY?

This month, Ben and Heather were joined by experienced  clinical psychologist Warwick McClelland to talk about divorce and separation when children with special needs are involved.  Topics covered include: Talking to children with neurodiversity about divorce and separation.Types of living arrangements post-divorce that work best for children with special needs.How the Family Court decides parenting arrangements for families with special needs children.How Court decisions for special needs children impact on siblings.How parents can help special needs children adapt to new living arrangements.Parentification and whether this is more common in solo parent households.How Courts determine who has the right to make medical decisions for a special needs child.Whether parents have a right to dispute medical decisions made by their ex-partner.

This month, Ben and Heather delved into the topic of de facto relationships, answering the following questions: What is a de facto relationship?How long do you have to live together to be in a de facto relationship?How does the law decide when the de facto relationship starts and ends?What does the Court consider when deciding if a de facto relationship exists?Is it possible to be in a de facto relationship and not be living together?Is it possible to be in a de facto relationship while married to someone else?Do you need to register a de facto relationship?Is a de facto relationship any different to a marriage under the law?Does the law treat a same sex de facto relationship any differently than a heterosexual de facto?Does the law treat property disputes any differently for a de facto relationship versus a marriage?Does the law treat children's matters any differently for a de facto relationship versus a marriage?Can I apply for spousal maintenance after a de facto relationship?Should I get a pre-nup or financial agreement before entering a de facto relationship?

Property settlement is one of the first things that separating couples need to deal with, and often one of the most emotional.  In this episode, Ben and Heather answer the top six most commonly asked questions on property settlement.  Over the years Ben and Heather have dealt with so many questions about property settlement, both in their practice and through the podcast.  They have whittled down those questions to the 6 most frequently asked and on today's show provide you with answers.  Here are the six questions: When should I start the property settlement process and how long does it take for the assets to be divided?What sorts of things get included in a property settlement and how is this agreed?What share am I going to get? Is it always the case that property is divided 50/50?Can I be forced to sell the family home?How does the Court decide who gets what in a property settlement?Do I really need to pay lawyers to formalise my property settlement?

Ben and Heather discuss same-sex separation together with clinical psychologist Dr. Catherine Boland.  The founder of Relationspace, a team of skilled professionals helping people going through divorce to better manage their circumstances and protect the psychological health of their children, Catherine is ideally placed to provide insights into the social science side of separation.  While Heather answers the more technically legal questions. The team cover the following topics and questions: At what point does a same-sex relationship become recognised as a de facto relationshipDoes the Family Law Act treat same-sex couples any differently than heterosexual couples when it comes to property settlement disputes?How does the law treat a non-biological parent when a same sex family separate?Does biology create emotional/psychological barriers to reaching parenting agreements between same sex couples?When it comes to the fundamentals of "in the best interest of the child" does the Court view same-sex couples any differently than heterosexual families when making parenting decisions?What if a lesbian couple has a sperm donor who has been involved in the life of the child? Does the sperm donor have parenting rights post-separation?If a same-sex family includes children from a previous heterosexual relationship, does the step-parent have parenting rights?

Ben and Heather welcome Dr Atina Manvelian, a psychologist and clinical scientist. As a postdoctoral researcher at Stony Brook University and Stanford University, she studies how our relationships impact our mental health and conducts research on how we can improve the quality of our relationships. Of particular interest for our listeners is Dr Manvelian's specialty in adjustment following a breakup or divorce. So she is the perfect guest to help tackle the topic of how to make separation actually work. This episode deals with the following questions: 1. What does a "good" separation look like? 2. How separations can get off on the wrong foot when one person has been thinking about separation for a long time and the other is taken by surprise. 3. How can couples avoid getting into a spiral of anger and blame that will be hard to unwind. 4. Managing a solo life and dealing with loneliness. 5. Is it possible to re-partner too quickly? 6. How to cope with the emotions that arise when your ex re-partners. 7. How separating couples should talk to their children about separation. 8. The importance of boundaries, how to set them and stick to them. At the end of the episode, Dr Manvelian gives us her top three tips on making separation work. Not to be missed!

This month Ben and Heather addressed a wide array of family law questions from the community, touching on a number of common issues faced by people going through divorce and separation. The questions included: Starting out: I'm thinking about separating but haven't yet spoken to my partner about it. Is there anything you recommend I do before I speak to my partner?Property settlement timing (myth busting): I don't think I can wait until the 12-month separation period is up to apply for divorce. What can I do?Parenting decisions:  Can my husband force my kids into boarding school?Property division: My partner moved into my house six years ago.  Is she now entitled to a 50/50 split?Child custody adolescents: My 15-year-old son has indicated he wants to live with me full time and my ex refuses.  What can I do?Parenting Orders: Do we have to have a Parenting Order, or can we just figure out our own custody arrangements?Child Support:  Can I stop child support payments now that my ex is marrying someone wealthy?

Gemma Rope, solicitor with Bryant McKinnon is our guest host for this episode.  She and Heather welcome psychologist and mediator Anthony Smith to talk about how to make mediation work.  With over 25 years and 2000 mediations under his belt, Anthony calls on his experience to provide tips and advice that will help to realise positive outcomes in family law mediation. Topics and questions covered include: The ways that family law disputes about property and children can be mediated.The best approach to mediation.Choosing the right mediator.When to start the mediation process.How mediation differs from counselling.Whether or not to include children in a mediation process.When mediation is not appropriate.Legally assisted mediation: how does it differ from other types of mediation?Effectiveness of mediation when parties just want to get to Court.Top 3 recommendations to ensure that mediation actually works. The show also makes a strong case for why it's worth making mediation work and avoiding the emotional and financial costs of Court.

In family law matters the sale of the family home is often the most difficult and emotional part of the separation process.  And everything is just that much harder in the current environment, with rising interest rates and inflation making the entire market uncertain. For regional families things are even more opaque, because so much of what we see on social media or television relates to big city real estate markets.  So it can be difficult to figure out the local dynamics. To help our Coffs Coast listeners get a handle on the market and the issues related to selling a home after separation, Ben and Heather welcome two local experts. Stacey Parks is a Certified Practising Valuer with property valuation specialists Herron Todd White.  Craig Gardner is a partner and sales agent for Coffs Coast realtor Nolan Partners.  Collectively this foursome provide some insights into the following commonly asked questions. What factors influence the housing market on the Coffs Coast?At a time (like now) when housing prices are uncertain is it better to sell or wait it out?How does a valuer go about valuing real estate in an uncertain market?Has the method of selling a home shifted in recent years?  Are we seeing more or less auctions or private sales?If you are separating when the market is uncertain, does it matter whether you sell the house before or after divorce?What if you want to sell quickly but your partner refuses to sell?  Is there anything you can do?Can a realtor put a home on the market if only one joint owner requests the sale?What happens if joint owners can't agree on the listing price?What happens if joint owners can't agree on auction day?What are the key factors in valuing property?How does a valuer value property when one partner is buying out the other?What if you can't afford to buy out your ex but you also don't want to sell the family home.  Are there options?

With the holiday season approaching, Ben and Heather turn their attention to coping with holidays after separation or divorce.  To help them deal with this highly emotive issue, they welcome back to the program Elisabeth Shaw, CEO of Relationships Australia NSW.  Elisabeth is also a clinical and counselling psychologist with a specialty in couple and family therapy with over 25 years experience to share with our listeners. Topics covered include: Why the holidays almost always seem to cause raised emotions and relationship difficulties.What emotions are most likely to arise when facing your first major holiday without your ex, and how to deal with them.Advice on how to agree on arrangements for children over the holidays.Helping children to deal with their emotions when facing their first holiday with separated parents.Taking kids away for the holidays - how to handle this with your ex.How to avoid feeling anxious and resentful when left alone over a major holiday.Dealing with adult children following separation. At the end of the show Ben asked both Elisabeth and Heather for their one piece of advice for newly separated couples facing their first Christmas apart.  So make sure you listen to the conclusion of this episode!

This month Ben and Heather talk to toxicologist and forensic medicine specialist Professor Edward Ogden about substance abuse and family law.  Professor Ogden has been studying the impact of drugs and alcohol for over 40 years.  He is Deputy Director of the Centre for Human Psychopharmacology at Swinburne University, Addiction Medicine Specialist for Goulburn Valley Health and St Vincent's Hospital in Melbourne and a forensic medical consultant with Clinical Forensic Medicine. Professor Ogden shares his experience and knowledge on the impacts of drug and alcohol misuse and methods of testing.  He and Heather McKinnon also discuss why drug and alcohol misuse if a concern in family law cases and how the Court deals with substance abuse claims. The show deals with the following areas: The science of toxicology.The most common drugs affecting our community.Why people abuse drugs and alcohol.The relevance of substance abuse in family law matters.How the Family Court deals with substance abuse allegations.Types of testing used to measure drug abuse, including:Urine and breath tests, Carbohydrate Deficiency Transfer (CDT) test, hair testingPossible means of contaminating drug tests, including: Shaving or using hair dyes before a hair test, claiming the drug got into your system from the environment, claiming your prescription drug was mistaken for an illicit substance, drinking large amounts of water before a urine test

Ben talks to Sydney-based barrister Louise Goodchild and solicitor and colleague Gemma Rope about the importance of estate planning during and after divorce or separation.  Wills, powers of attorney and superannuation nominations are just about the last thing anyone wants to consider when facing the trauma of family breakdown.  But as Louise and Gemma make clear, problems can arise if you put off considering these issues. Topics addressed include: Estate planning documents that need to be reconsidered following separation or divorce?What happens to your estate if you die without changing your Will after separation or divorce?"Joint" assets - did you know that these are not part of your Will?Superannuation binding death nominations - how do these work?What needs to be considered if you re-partner after divorce?

This month Ben and Heather discuss how to get ready for Court.  Their first piece of advice is to avoid bringing family law disputes to Court if at all possible.  But in the event that you do have to go to Court this podcast will help you prepare, as Ben and Heather consider the following: Why does it take so long to actually get in front of a judge on a family law matters? Where is the Court physically located, and when are Court sessions now managed online? Do you have to hire a barrister to take a matter to Court? How much is it going to cost to take a matter to Court? (brace yourself for the answer!) How do your lawyer and barrister prepare your case for Court? Tips on what to wear and how to behave in Court and for online proceedings. How does the Court decide who a child will live with or spend time with? How does the Court decide property settlements? If you don't like the Court's decision, can you appeal?

This month Ben and Heather talk to forensic accountant Suzanne Delbridge about valuing a business when separating. Suzanne Delbridge is the Director and Founder of Delbridge Forensic Accounting in Newcastle and a very experienced forensic accountant.  For listeners who may not know, a forensic account is specially trained to prepare financial information for a court of law. At the start of the podcast, Suzanne clarified exactly what a forensic accountant does and why they are absolutely critical when valuing a business.  Ben and Heather then delved into the following questions with Suzanne: When is it appropriate to use a forensic account, rather than simply using your company or personal accountant? (Clue:  it's never appropriate to use your company or personal accountant to value a business in divorce proceedings!) What are the different methods of valuation? How does an accountant differentiate between a business with significant value and one that is just a vehicle for owner income? Why do we sometimes see a business valued at close to nothing, when similar businesses are advertised a high prices? How do forensic accountants take into account lack of control or difficulty of sale when valuing a portion of a shared business? Can a forensic accountant identify if a business is being used to hide wealth? Do forensic accountants need to be involved in valuing self managed superannuation funds? Can the settlement structure in a divorce really make a significant difference to either party's tax bill?

In this episode family law experts Benjamin Bryant and Heather McKinnon talk to psychologist Michael Hawton about the secrets to successful co-parenting. Michael is a child and family psychologist who has been working with families in Australia and overseas for over 30 years. He is also the founder of Parentshop resource hub for parents, educator and child and family specialists. Michael has also found time to write two books: Talk Less, Liston More and Engaging Adolescents and has two children of his own. We discussed the following topics with Michael: •Is co-parenting the right option for everyone? •How important is a parenting plan to co-parenting success? •How to resolve differences without tearing the kids apart. •How to manage changeovers effectively. •How to manage special occasions without hostility and resentment. •At what should children's wishes be considered when decision making?