The Point of the Matter

Stasha Boyd / Cheryl Stuller

Two women—friends for 50 years, no holding back, no bullshit, deeply southern—break down the issues that all grown-ass women deal with on the daily. We deliver not only a unique point of view, but a cocktail as well! We’re those outspoken, frank girlfriends that most women know, some women are, and many women want to be. Most off all, we're the friends every woman deserves to have in her life. So grab a cocktail...or a mocktail...we don't judge (Okay, that's a lie. We absolutely judge but never about your beverage of choice) and join in! read less

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Lessons Learned: It’s been a heck of a year, y'all

Lessons Learned: It’s been a heck of a year, y'all

Holy cow, ladies. 2021 is coming to a close and (lordy be!) have we been on a learning curve of epic proportions this past year. Not just starting this podcast, but about life, work, friendship, family, mental health, boundaries, communication and ALL the things. In this, our last episode of 2021, we’re looking back at what we got right, and maybe a little of what we might have gotten wrong, so we can look forward to what’s next. So, grab a spiked hot chocolate or a sparkling, bubbly spritzer and join us as we glance in the review mirror before we stomp our high-heeled feet down on the accelerator and roar into 2022. Cheryl’s Sparkling Pomegranate Cocktail 1 ½ cup pomegranate juice1 bottle sparkling wine, I like ProseccoMulled raspberry’s as garnish Stasha’s Peppermint Chocolat Choad with Chocolate Liqueur Whole Milk (I use Publix lactose free organic)2 TBSP Petite Maison’s Peppermint Chocolat Chaud1 Oz Godiva Dark Chocolate Liqueur Heat milk on stovetop, NOT in the microwave.Put 2 TBSP Chocolate Chaud in a mug then add a small amount of heated milk. Stir until all powder is emulsified. Add remaining hot milk. Stir. Add chocolate liqueur. Stir. OUR NOTES FOR THIS EPISODECHERYL’S DISCUSSION NOTES I’ve learned more about myself and how to change my interactions with others.I’ve learned more about mental health, relationship, and prioritizing myself.I’ve learned more about podcasts and social media.I’ve learned more about my friendship with Stasha and how my actions impacted that friendship.I’ve had to revisit my childhood and examine how I grew up and choices I made and why.I’ve grown stronger as Cheryl and in standing up for myself in my marriage.STASHA’S DISCUSSION NOTESCreating a podcast: production (easy), promote, market (not so easy), monetize (not started) BECAUSE:There’s a LOT to learn, especially at our age (THANK YOU Steve Dotto!)https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9BqPtCcSyHvQsbl2rumM4w https://dottotech.com/ You HAVE to learn. You have to DECIDE you WANT to learn. You have to agree that you WILL learn. You HAVE to get over any fear or hesitancy about learning NEW THINGS.Priorities: Not just me, but EVERYONE involved, especially any partnersCovid’s impact on our business: Forced pause. Forced reset. I determined that I don’t want to keep doing what I was doing the way I was doing it. Mike’s reset. He is returning to something very important to him.Covid’s impact on our lives:I am a people person (not exactly news) AND I want to spend my time with people who are like me. Growing, enthusiastic, excited to learn, (Friendship episode: I missed the rich tapestry of acquaintances, local friends, good friends, etc.) I have something very valuable to share with people. Now have to focus and decide how to best move forward.

Episodes

Lessons Learned: It’s been a heck of a year, y'all

Lessons Learned: It’s been a heck of a year, y'all

Holy cow, ladies. 2021 is coming to a close and (lordy be!) have we been on a learning curve of epic proportions this past year. Not just starting this podcast, but about life, work, friendship, family, mental health, boundaries, communication and ALL the things. In this, our last episode of 2021, we’re looking back at what we got right, and maybe a little of what we might have gotten wrong, so we can look forward to what’s next. So, grab a spiked hot chocolate or a sparkling, bubbly spritzer and join us as we glance in the review mirror before we stomp our high-heeled feet down on the accelerator and roar into 2022. Cheryl’s Sparkling Pomegranate Cocktail 1 ½ cup pomegranate juice1 bottle sparkling wine, I like ProseccoMulled raspberry’s as garnish Stasha’s Peppermint Chocolat Choad with Chocolate Liqueur Whole Milk (I use Publix lactose free organic)2 TBSP Petite Maison’s Peppermint Chocolat Chaud1 Oz Godiva Dark Chocolate Liqueur Heat milk on stovetop, NOT in the microwave.Put 2 TBSP Chocolate Chaud in a mug then add a small amount of heated milk. Stir until all powder is emulsified. Add remaining hot milk. Stir. Add chocolate liqueur. Stir. OUR NOTES FOR THIS EPISODECHERYL’S DISCUSSION NOTES I’ve learned more about myself and how to change my interactions with others.I’ve learned more about mental health, relationship, and prioritizing myself.I’ve learned more about podcasts and social media.I’ve learned more about my friendship with Stasha and how my actions impacted that friendship.I’ve had to revisit my childhood and examine how I grew up and choices I made and why.I’ve grown stronger as Cheryl and in standing up for myself in my marriage.STASHA’S DISCUSSION NOTESCreating a podcast: production (easy), promote, market (not so easy), monetize (not started) BECAUSE:There’s a LOT to learn, especially at our age (THANK YOU Steve Dotto!)https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9BqPtCcSyHvQsbl2rumM4w https://dottotech.com/ You HAVE to learn. You have to DECIDE you WANT to learn. You have to agree that you WILL learn. You HAVE to get over any fear or hesitancy about learning NEW THINGS.Priorities: Not just me, but EVERYONE involved, especially any partnersCovid’s impact on our business: Forced pause. Forced reset. I determined that I don’t want to keep doing what I was doing the way I was doing it. Mike’s reset. He is returning to something very important to him.Covid’s impact on our lives:I am a people person (not exactly news) AND I want to spend my time with people who are like me. Growing, enthusiastic, excited to learn, (Friendship episode: I missed the rich tapestry of acquaintances, local friends, good friends, etc.) I have something very valuable to share with people. Now have to focus and decide how to best move forward.

Holiday Etiquette: It ain't that freakin' hard

Holiday Etiquette: It ain't that freakin' hard

Have you ever sat at a 4-way stop with folks who can't figure out who goes next? Have you played a game with someone who doesn't, or worse, won't learn the rules? Have you witnessed the chaos and rage that happens when people didn't know, or refuse to follow, the simple rules of standing in line to check out at a store or enter a concert venue? ⁠Maddening madness. Anarchy. Mayhem. ⁠All of which is avoided when everyone knows the rules and follows them.⁠And that's all etiquette is, folks. A simple, agreed-upon set of rules and guidelines that keep everyone on an even keel, knowing what to do and when.⁠"But, but don't these rules make the stressful holiday season harder?" No, the same way the rules of 4-way stops and roundabouts make them better than everyone just deciding when they want to go makes driving harder.⁠ "Why can't I just do what I want?!" Because other people exist, that's why. Because they have to plan too. It's the same reason you don't get to make up all the rules for Monopoly while you're playing the game. Some rules may make it harder, but all the players know what they are. ⁠Knowing holiday etiquette makes your life easier, not harder. Following holiday etiquette makes other people's lives easier, not harder. It adds peace to what can be a chaotic time of year.⁠And isn't that part of what the season of love, joy, and giving is all about? Give the gift of peace, both to yourself and to everyone else.

Gratitude: The fast track to a great life

Gratitude: The fast track to a great life

You can’t scroll for half a hot second and not see some pithy plea to practice gratitude. Usually, this type of thing makes us a bit nuts but this is perhaps the only exception to that rule. Gratitude IS the bomb-diggity. It is the shizzle. The juice. And it's because it works. Grateful to, grateful for, grateful because, grateful in spite of, whatever you choose, it doesn’t matter. Because as soon as you think it, say it or write it, your life—including your health and your relationships—instantly gets better. Whether it's your life, your kids, your spouse, your pets, your time, your home, your family, your whatever, developing the skill to think of those things—especially in those moments when they might not be at their best—is one of the best mental habits you can create. So, sit back, grab a glass of something yummy, and soak in a conversation about all the wonderful whys and ways to up your gratitude game.

Hard Conversations: With your integrity, sanity (and family) intact

Hard Conversations: With your integrity, sanity (and family) intact

If you thought Halloween’s episode about fear was scary, you aren’t ready for the Holidays. Grandma/Mimi/Nana in the kitchen: Well, if YOU prefer a DRY turkey, fine! Brother/Sister/Cousin at the supper table: Yeah, remember that time you [insert embarrassing made-up bullshit here]. Crazy Uncle Joe watching the game/parade: pro/anti-mask rant on repeat. Loopy Aunt Lucy over coffee and dessert: you push your kids too hard/not enough. Spouse/Kids on the drive home: I am NOT doing that again next year. Navigating irritating, awkward, unwanted conversations—whether at the holidays (Stasha) or on any day (Cheryl)—takes skill and prep. Stasha shares her go-to phrase (see below in the notes) to stop, pause, or pour-the-gas on anyone who insists on pushing her buttons. Cheryl goes deep on habits she’s working on to up her communication game. But the most important thing to know is this episode isn’t about political or controversial views, or any views really. It’s about how to HAVE views, TALK about them, and keep your integrity, sanity, and relationships intact.So grab a calming beverage—hot toddy anyone?—and enjoy an easy conversation about hard topics. Cheryl’s Cocktail Red Raspberry Cocktail1.5 Raspberry infused vodkaFresh Lemon Sour or Lime1 oz. ProsecoTop off with water Stasha’s Mocktail Kombucha and sparkling water RESOURCES AND NOTES FROM THE SHOW7 Habits of Highly Effective PeopleHabit 1: Focus and act on what you can control or influence instead of what you can’t.Habit 3: Put First Things First (Prioritize the relationship if it’s an important relationship.) Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be UnderstoodHow To Debate Politics Without Being a Complete Jerk, by Mitchell Labiak9 Tips for talking about politics without ruining relationships, by Jerry V Walker III, PhD, PsychologyStasha’s go-to phrases for any contentious or difficult topic someone brings up. Embrace and PRACTICE the three versions of this phrase: “Let me stop/pause you right there……” I’m having a great time and really don’t want to talk about [this issue] today. Perhaps another time? Just to let you know, I’m happy to have a conversation about [this issue] but not an argument. If it starts to overheat, I’m going to stop talking, smile, then get up and walk away.Just so you are aware, I’m in the MOOD to get into [this issue] today. If you want to keep going, I’m TOTALLY down with it, but you should know that I am not going to stop.

Emotional Manipulation: Breadcrumbing, negging, ghosting, etc.

Emotional Manipulation: Breadcrumbing, negging, ghosting, etc.

Ladies, there’s a lot of bullsh*t in this world and a lot of that bullsh*t has some new names. Whatever it’s called, it’s emotionally manipulative AND it’s effin’ bullsh*t. More importantly, being on the receiving end of this BS can make you question your sanity, your judgement, and your relationships. In this episode, we want to know what the hell is the difference between “ghosting” and “caspering”? Who the hell came up with “negging” and what are they trying to achieve? Where the hell are these supposed “breadcrumbs” supposed to lead? But the most important question, dear WarriorQueens, isn’t “Why would some asshole do this to me?” It’s “How quickly am I going to recognize this BS as BS and scrape it (and the assh*le that put it there) off my high-heeled shoe?” So, grab a glass of something ice-cold, ladies. We’re delving deep into this emotionally toxic BS so you never have to again. Cheryl's drink this eve:Sticking with iced tea tonight.Stasha's mocktail tonight:Grapefruit juice and grapefruit sparkling water in a fancy glass.Episode notes and links:Beadcrumbing: Giving a person just enough info to keep them hanging on, hoping a relationship exists. Could be romantic or a friend. Negging: Saying insulting or otherwise negative things to a person to affect their self-esteem or to make them defend themselves. Can escalate into very abusive behavior, often an early warning sign of an abusive, toxic person or relationship Ghosting: Cutting off all communication without explanation. Submarining: When someone ghosts, then suddenly returns and acts like nothing happened. Caspering: Rather than simply ignore your texts, the Casper will respond to your text 12 hours later with a vague but friendly reply. Instead of not replying to an invitation to hang out, the Casper will hint that they're interested, without any intention of following through. Catfishing: Someone who uses a fake identity to lure dates online. Fishing: When someone will send out messages to a bunch of people to see who’d be interested in hooking up, wait to see who responds, then take their pick of who they want to get with. It’s called fishing because the fisher loads up on bait, waits for one fish to bite, then ignores all the others. Fleabagging: consistently dating people that are wrong for you.

Fear: More than a mind killer

Fear: More than a mind killer

Halloween is coming up this weekend and everyone is getting excited about getting scared! Woo hoo! That’s the fun type of chest-pounding, horror-movie watching, jump-out-of-your-skin terror that we can TOTALLY get behind. What we can’t (and absolutely WON’T) get behind is the never-ending fearmongering that many women—and girls—live with every single day. Is “That’s so scary!” part of your daily vocabulary? Do you say, “I’m so afraid of [something that is happening out in the world] right now,” when you aren’t actually in a life-threatening situation at that moment? Has fear of the unknown stopped you from doing something you want to try or know you need to do? If so, this episode is for you! So, grab a spooktacular libation and your favorite woobie, then get ready to get rid of gettin’ scared. Cheryl’s cocktail: Ultimate Margarita· Milagro Tequila 1.5 oz· Cointreau 1 oz· Grand Marnier .5 oz· .5 oz fresh lime juiceAdd tequila, Cointreau and Grand Marnier, and lime juice to a shaker, fill with ice. Shake will. (FYI--Cheryl doesn’t eat salt, so for those who do and like a salt-rimmed glass, pour coarse kosher salt onto a small plate. Rub a lime wedge around the rim of the glass. Dip the rim into the salt.) Pour over ice.Garnish with a lime wedge Stasha’s mocktail: Sparkling water with lime (We had a VERY social weekend so decided to keep it alcohol free tonight.) RESOURCES MENTIONED IN TONIGHT'S EPISODEWhy Do We Teach Girls That It’s Cute to Be Scared?, By Caroline PaulWomen are encouraged from childhood that they should be scared. “Aren’t you scared? Wasn’t that scary?”Boys/men are encouraged to NOT be scared.Women and especially girls should not only be encouraged to take risks, it’s time to STOP constantly telling women (and girls) that their natural state is to be afraid. Women especially have been coached, trained, immersed in fear-based language and it weakens their ability to make good choices, decisions, etc. Emotional Addiction, Dr. Mark SteinbergPeople can become addicted to an emotional state, usually a negative one, such as fear or anger.Emotional addicts “feel, react, justify.” Main points from StashaWatch out for how you talk to yourself and others, especially girlsChange your words and thoughts to courage- and curiosity-based languageMinor pain and inconveniences are nothing to be “scared” ofYou should also train yourself to not be afraid of major events that DO NOT PERSONALLY THREATEN YOU. (Anger, resolute, determination, etc., are fine provided they spur corrective action.)“Feel, think, speak, act” cycle. When people continually repeat and verbalize fear (or anger) based words, they are already 3/4s to action, and actions based on fear (or anger) are rarely rational.

Major Moments: Small events; huge impacts

Major Moments: Small events; huge impacts

Sometimes the tiniest, most random fork in the road changes the entire direction of your life. A disrupted mother/daughter day out (Stasha), an ex’s demand (Cheryl), a bus stop fist fight (both). Looking back in our 50s, and knowing how it's turned out so far, we can pinpoint the exact moment our lives changed…for the better. Why is this important? Because learning how to look back can be as valuable as knowing how to look forward. Because when you know what you’re looking for, you can see who you are, how you got here, and where you’re still going. So, grab a glass of something new and exciting or old and comfortable and listen in as we connect the dots from minor events to leading bigger, better, bolder lives. Cheryl’s Raspberry Lemon Drop· Raspberry Infused Titos Vodka 1.5 oz· Fresh Lemon to tasteI always add water as well Stasha’s Berry refreshing Kambucha spritzer· 3 oz Kambucha (Publix Greenwise Berry Blend)· Frozen mixed berries (Publix Greenwise frozen berry mix—strawberries, raspberries, blueberries)· Sparkling water (La Croix Rasberry) Muddle about 2-3 tablespoons of the frozen berries in a tall glassAdd 3 oz Kambucha, stirAdd iceFill to top with sparkling water(If you want a little more kick, reduce water and add 1 to 1.5 oz vodka)

Friendship: Twice the laughs; half the tears

Friendship: Twice the laughs; half the tears

There are two things we KNOW to be true: 1) it’s hard to make and keep friends as you get older and 2) it’s nearly impossible to be happy without friends. From your local hang-out peeps to your shared-interest [book/bike/kayak/fitness/whatevs] club to your bury-the-body-bestie, knowing who is—as well as what makes—a “good” friend is a life skill every woman should have, especially women in midlife. How do you find them? How do you keep them? Is there value in “superficial” friendships? Why does it hurt so much when a friend disappoints or worse, betrays you? When should you let a friend go? When should you fight like hell to keep one? We get into all these questions and more in today’s episode so grab your favorite hang-with-your-crew beverage and join us as we get clear about finding, keeping, and celebrating one of the most rewarding relationships known to humankind: friendship. Stasha’s cocktail: El Capitan 2 oz pisco (Don Benedicto)1 oz sweet vermouth2 dashes Angostura bitters Add all ingredients to mixing glass with ice. Stir for 20 seconds. Strain into coupe glass and garnish with a lemon twist. (FYI-Pisco is a Peruvian brandy) Cheryl’s cocktail: shot of Milago Tequila with Lime juiceVery smooth Tequila and easy to drink.Good articles: Decades of research shows it is almost impossible to be happy without friends. A lack of meaningful friendships and support in midlife and beyond can be particularly difficult, leading to intense loneliness, and poor physical and mental health. 7 Signs of a True Friend Midlife Friendship Key to a Longer, Healthier LifeThe Best Friends Can Do Nothing For You Aristotle’s definition/layers of friends:Friendship of virtue: There is no “reason” you love this person, you simply do. Friendship of pleasure: Based on something you like or enjoy about the other person, or mutually shared enjoymentFriendship of utility: “Deal” friends. Usually work, location, or place-based. Transactional, even if the transaction is simply keeping the peace between a group.

Gaslighting: It isn’t you; it's never you. It's them.

Gaslighting: It isn’t you; it's never you. It's them.

Sometimes recent events bring up a subject that grabs us by the heart and we need to talk about it. Gaslighting—a specific type of psychological abuse, usually directed at women in order to control them—is one of those topics. What is it? What are the signs? What can you do if someone is gaslighting you? What should you do if you suspect a friend is being mentally or emotionally abused? From intimate relationships to family dynamics to the workplace, this often-invisible abuse ruins lives. We firmly believe we have an obligation to speak up and reach out when we see the signs of gaslighting, so we will. This week we get serious about a serious subject. Lean in and listen up. Due to the serious nature of this topic, here are some important resources. Domestic Violence Hotline Website: Gaslighting If you or someone you know is in immediate danger of domestic violence, call 911 or otherwise seek emergency help. Anyone who needs advice or support can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline 24/7 via:phone, at 800-799-7233live chat, at thehotline.orgtext, by texting LOVEIS to 22522Many other resources are available, including helplines, in-person support, and temporary housing. People can find local resources and others classified by demographics, such as support specifically for People of Color, here:The Office on Women’s HealthThe National Coalition Against Domestic ViolenceAdditional episode resources:Examples of gaslighting: Medical News Today (2020)What Is Gaslighting and How Do You Deal With It? Forbes Health (2021)The Sociology of Gaslighting—American Sociological Association, author Paige L Sweet, Harvard Postdoctoral Fellow (2019)Stasha’s Watermelon Mocktail· 1 C fresh seedless watermelon· ½ squeezed fresh lime· 5-10 fresh mint leaves· 4-6 oz seltzer water (I used Perrier Lime) Muddle the watermelon and mint in a tall glassAdd ice then seltzer and lightly stirIf you want to make it into a cocktail, add 1.5 oz of Vodka Cheryl’s Apple Cider Mimosa· I Bottle of champagne · 1 cup of apple cider· Cinnamon and sugar for the rim if desired Fill champagne flute ¼ cup of apple cider Top off with champagne

Setbacks: Getting up when life gets you down

Setbacks: Getting up when life gets you down

Like everything else, handling life like a boss is a skill that can be cultivated or that can wither on the vine. First step to being a setback badass? Learn the difference between an inconvenience, a setback, a crisis, and a catastrophe. (Hint: it has nothing to do with how you feel.) Step two: ask the right questions in the right order. Step three, four, and beyond? Plan, act, repeat. So, grab a frosty glass of something cool, kick back, and get ready to get up and get on with it. Stasha’s Mocktail: · Muddled frozen berries (Publix Greenwise Whole Mixed Berries)· Kambucha (Publix Greenwise Organic Berry Blend)· Sparkling water (La Croix Limonchello) · Twist of lemon Pour over ice. Add twist of lemon or lime. Enjoy! Cheryl's beverage du jour:Iced tea Pour over ice in a tall glassDONE!

Life Hacks: Making life easier one tip at a time

Life Hacks: Making life easier one tip at a time

If there’s anything we love it’s something that makes life a little easier. And while there’s certainly isn’t a shortage of life hack advice on the internetz, both good and WTF, our standing rule remains: a good hack works for YOU. This week, we share some of our tried-and-true make-life-easy tips (Stasha is ALL about the baskets) as well as some ideas from around the web (Cheryl is ALL about saving money and time). We also talk about different levels of comfort, what works for one and not for the other, and the granddaddy of them all, how to keep other people’s opinions out of your decisions. So, grab a glass, fill it with something refreshing, and have a good time with us as we serve up some good ideas.Cheryl's Strawberry Moonshine with champagne for bubbly Buy some Strawberry Moonshine. Pour into a glass. Top with Champaign.Stasha’s Bay Breezehttps://www.thespruceeats.com/bay-breeze-recipe-761000 1.5 - 2 ounces vodka (I used Titos handmade) 3 ounces pineapple juice3 ounces cranberry juiceLime wedge, for garnish Pour all liquids into a tall glass over ice. Garnish with the lime or slice of pineapple. I also topped mine with pineapple sparkling water to make it lighter and more of a punch. Stasha mentioned a very entertaining guy on YouTube who "reviews" various life hacks. Well worth the watch!Khaby Lame (a Senegalese-Italian youtuber) is hilarious. Cheryl also mentioned a list of tech hacks she found for the show notes. Here ya go!Tech hacks-When online shopping, begin but don’t end the checkout process stores will often send a coupon to complete the sale-To get price drop alerts for Amazon use camelcamelcamel.com-Pricegeek.com shows you the fair market price for products-Sumopaint.com is a free version of photo shop-Want to convert a YouTube video use gifyoutube.com-Howlongtoreadthis.com to estimate a book’s reading length -Add a fake email address to your contact list, if a bot sends out spam you’ll get an undeliverable mail notice-HaveIbeenpwned.com to check if your email address has been compromised -Accountkiller.com to delete popular online accounts-Use private or incognito browsing mode to search for products or tickets-Wornontv.net sells clothing worn by actors-Get faster airport internet without paying by adding .jpg at the end of your search-Hotelwifitest.com- ranks hotels with fast or free internet-Skiplagged.com finds hidden city flights for up to 80% off-Set @@ as a key bord shortcut to never have to enter your email address again-Need to call a number anonymously? *67 before the phone #-Betterexplained.com to explain hard math equations-Documentaryheaven.com for all things documentary-Agoodmovietowatch.com for highly rated little-known movies to watch

Goals: You’ve come a long way but you’re not there yet

Goals: You’ve come a long way but you’re not there yet

Remember when you were in your 20s or 30s? Lifetime goals were a lifetime away. Well guess what, WarriorQueens? You’re now hip deep in midlife (or later) and there are still things you want to do, to achieve, and to be in your 50s, 60s, 70s and beyond.Whatever comes next, there are two ways to get there: Sit around and see how it turns out OR get real about setting goals. 1) Assess where you are, 2) decide where you want to go, and 3) take SMART steps to get there.In this episode, over a Citrus Sunrise and a Paloma, we take stock on what we still want to accomplish (Cheryl goes to college? Stasha goes to Asia?) AND what we’ve already achieved (Stasha makes changes in her business; Cheryl thinks hard about mothering competent adult kids). So, mix, shake, or pour a glass of your favorite beverage and get ready to get after your goals.

Advice: When dumb ideas come hard & fast

Advice: When dumb ideas come hard & fast

Ladies, if we had a nickel for every bit of dumbass advice we’ve heard regarding what women in their 50s “need to do!” we could retire rich. Today. And you don’t have to look far. It’s everywhere. 10 THINGS YOU MUST DO NOW! 25 ACTIONS YOU MUST TAKE TODAY!! 50 WAYS TO KICK 50s ASS THIS YEAR!!! Holy exclamation points, Batwoman. This week we scoured the web looking for the worst-of-the-worst (Spend more time in bed! And no, they didn’t mean sex) in the form of well-intentioned (master crossword puzzles!) and way-off-the-mark (Smile more!) advice lists and lo and behold! A list so bereft of good ideas and good sense it rocked us back on our high heels and had us reaching for a double mocktail. So, grab a glass of something soothing while we get riled up. We’re letting loose on bad advice. Our last alcohol-free August mocktail/beverage! Stasha’s Dragonfruit Kambucha/Strawberry Bubly Fizz Into a pretty glass with ice, fill half with your favorite kambucha and half with flavored fizzy water. Add a twist of lime, a few mint leaves, or anything else you’d feel kicks it up a bit. Swirl with a swizzle stick because it’s festive. Iced-tea a la Cheryl Into a tall glass with ice, fill half with lightly sweet tea and half with plain water. Add a squeeze of lemon. Stir with a teaspoon.

Values: We never go against who we really are

Values: We never go against who we really are

Lots of folks claim lots of things about their values…while the rest of us sit over here with popcorn and see how the act. (We’re looking at you, pearl-clutching Family Values chick; and you too, Mr. Personal Responsibility dude.) But other people, often women in midlife, choose to take time and take stock; to re-examine and re-discover; and shape who they want to be in their next chapter. In this episode, Values, Stasha shares a full-proof way to check yourself, and identify, without a doubt, what your values REALLY are. Meanwhile, Cheryl gets real about what happens when your values don’t line up with people you know and love. So, grab a tall drink, take a deep breath, and get ready to go deep down on our deep-down selves. Stasha’s mocktail: Berry/Kambucha Fizz (I’m still on my alcohol-free August so this is a mocktail I made up just for me. I’m trying out Kambucha and finding it quite tasty.) 2-3 strawberries3-4 raspberries5-8 mint leavesKambucha (flavor of your choice, I used a berry flavored from Publix organics)Fruit flavored sparkling water (I used La Croix Peach/Pear because that’s what I had on hand)Lime wedge Muddle the berries in a glass or bowl the press through a strainer into a glass. Add ice. Add ¼ - ½ C kambucha and then fill remaining glass with flavored sparkling water. Garnish with lime wedge if you like it a little more tart. Cheryl had a hell of a few weeks, so she's sticking with that old southern favorite, iced tea.

Society: “You be you!” (No, not like that)

Society: “You be you!” (No, not like that)

Ever had a conversation that starts off on a normal track then veers off the highway, jumps the curb, skids across the ditch, blasts through the trees, then ends up on a totally different road careening towards a completely unknown destination? Yeah, this one’s like that. Society is more than shared beliefs and ideas. It’s the feeling you get when you feel like you have to keep your mouth shut around certain people. It’s the feeling in the pit of your stomach when you feel like you don’t fit in, or worse, like you’re being shut out. Everyone’s felt it but a lot of people don’t see it. That invisible, relentless pressure that tells you what is okay to say, do, believe, and be. And what’s not. Warning to the WarriorQueens: In this episode, we cross the danger lines and go deep into the red zones: masks, vaccines, atheism, racism, ageism, abortion…politics. Enter at your own risk.(Oh, and we did this one stone cold booze free.)Stasha's continuing her August alcohol break and has been exploring mocktails!Stasha’s mocktail: Mint, Lime, and Ginger SparklerThe zesty flavor of a ginger mojito without the alcohol in this long, cool, sparkling drink. NOTE: The recipe below serves 6. For a single serving, I grate about a teaspoon or ginger, a tablespoon of fresh mint leaves, the juice of 1 lime (or .75 oz), 4 oz of Ginger beer and top with lime La Croix or Bublé. 2” of Ginger root, Fresh, shredded1 Lime wheels and mint, sprigs 1/4 cup Mint, loosely packed fresh leaves1/4 cup Lime juice, fresh24 oz Ginger beer8 oz SeltzerIn a large bowl, muddle fresh ginger, mint leaves, and lime juice. Stir in ginger beer. Strain into a pitcher, pressing down on solids. Stir in seltzer. Serve over ice with lime wheels, more ginger slices, and mint sprigs PS—If you want to make it boozy (which is delicious!) reduce the ginger beer a bit and add 1.5 oz (per serving) of your favorite vodka or tequila. Cheryl decided to give it a rest for the rest of the month as well and opted for hard core cold turkey, as she is wont to do. She'll be back with a recipe next week (if she feels like it)!

Men: Marvelous, maddening, magnificent manhood

Men: Marvelous, maddening, magnificent manhood

Men! They’re everywhere, amiright?? Fathers, brothers, sons, friends, cousins, co-workers, partners, clients, customers, employers, employees. The list goes on and on. But most important for this conversation, men are much, much more than husbands or boyfriends. In this episode, we talk about the best (like our fathers), to the worst (they know who they are), how they got that way, and how they impact our lives. So, get comfy. Grab a cocktail or a mocktail. Then join us as we rock our way through the wonder and mystery of all things men. After a heck of a week for both of us, we decided to take a night off from alcohol so we don't have new recipes from our favorite brands this week. But since we're not going to leave our WarriorQueens hanging, here are two of our favorite go-to cocktails: Stasha: Classic Cosmo · .5 oz Tito’s Handmade Vodka (gluten free) (or Ocean Organic)· 1 oz Orange liqueur (I prefer Grand Marnier)· 3.4 oz fresh lime juice· Splash of cranberry juice (Organic, if I have it) Put it all in shaker with ice and shake well. Strain into martini glass. Garnish with lime. www.titosvodka.com/recipes/vodka-drinks/titos-classic-cosmo Stasha's favorite cocktail shaker. Has favorite recipes on the side. www.amazon.com/Houdini-H4-013604T-Glass-Cocktail-Shaker/dp/B07CGP7VSR Best Cosmo of my life (so far) at LaMont in Pittsburgh. Crystal clear and ice, ice cold! www.lemontpittsburgh.com/LeMont/index.htm Cheryl: Reyka Cran-Razz · 3 parts Reyka Vodka· 2 parts club soda· 1 part cranberry juice· ½ part lime juice Combine ingredients into a rocks glass. https://icelandnaturally.com/article/celebrate-winter-these-reyka-cocktail-recipes/

Dating: A BFD to your BFF

Dating: A BFD to your BFF

What do two long-time married women know about dating in midlife? The answers will surprise you. Whether it’s supporting friends re-entering the dating world or being in it ourselves (What?! Listen to the episode!) there’s a lot of wisdom and experience that women know but sometimes need refreshed. So, whether you’re the dater, the wing-woman, the shoulder to cry on, or the hired gun when some douchenozzle needs an ass-kicking, grab a glass of something refreshing and settle in. We’re getting down with dating. Cheryl’s cocktail: Watermelon Sangria · 12 cups cubed watermelon, divided · 1 (750 milliliter) bottle dry white wine · 1 cup vodka · ½ cup triple sec · ½ cup simple syrup · 1 medium lime, quartered · 1 orange, cut into wedges · 1 cup fresh blueberries Stasha’s cocktail: Vodka-grapefruit fizzie· 1.5 oz vodka (used Ketel One this time) · 3 oz grapefruit juice· Top with grapefruit Buble

Grit: Getting sh*t done when life ain’t fun

Grit: Getting sh*t done when life ain’t fun

Breaking news! Sometimes life is hard and work isn’t fun. People who handle that fact like a boss have something called grit, the ability to gut it out in order to achieve a long-term goal. In this episode we get down and dirty on the importance of grit in our own lives and how women can cultivate more of it as we move into our fifties and beyond. So sit back, dig in, and drink up. We’re powering through what to do when the going gets tough. Cheryl’s drink: Aviation cocktail · 2 ounces gin· 1/2 ounce maraschino liqueur· 1/4 ounce creme de violette· 3/4 ounce lemon juice, freshly squeezed· Garnish: brandied cherryAdd the gin, maraschino liqueur, creme de violette and lemon juice to a shaker with ice and shake until well-chilled.Strain into a cocktail glass.Garnish with a brandied cherry.https://www.liquor.com/recipes/aviation/ Stasha’s drink: Hemingway Daiquiri · 1 oz white rum· 0.5 oz grapefruit juice· 0.75 oz lime juice· 0.25 maraschino cherry juice (or other sweet juice)· 0.5 oz simple syrup· Lime and cherry garnish Combine liquids in a shaker filled with ice. Shake well. Strain into martini or coupe style cocktail glass. Garnish with lime and/or cherry https://www.yummly.com/recipe/Hemingway-Daiquiri-1480591

Pet Peeves: Stop petting my peeves!

Pet Peeves: Stop petting my peeves!

You know what pets Cheryl’s peeves? Slow drivers in the fast lane or let’s get real, slow drivers in any lane. Know what drives Stasha nuts? Tailgaters, in any lane at any speed. When someone or something’s got you biting your tongue or yelling into the void, you’ve got two choices: let it out or let it go. Once again, we handle life’s irritations in our own ways, but always peddle to the metal, full speed ahead. Grab your drink (vodka, wine, water, whatevs) and join us for a heavy peeve petting session about the sh*t that works our nerves. Cheryl: Orange Crush· 2 cups ice cubes, or as needed· 2 fluid ounces orange-flavored vodka· 1 fluid ounce triple sec liqueur· 2 Valencia oranges, juiced· 1 splash lemon-lime soda (such as Sprite®) (Optional)· 1 slice orange Fill a pint glass with ice cubes. Pour orange-flavored vodka, triple sec, and orange juice over ice; top with lemon-lime soda. Mix well and garnish with orange slice.Due to technical issues (another pet peeve!) Cheryl had to skip her cocktail this evening because the liquor cabinet cupboard was bare (another peeve!!). But the recipe was too good not to post anyway. Give it a try and let us know how it turned out for you. Stasha: Ruby Slipper· 1 oz Tito’s Handmade vodka· 3/4 oz Triple Sec · 3 oz grapefruit juice (fresh is best)· 3 oz grapefruit seltzer (Bublé or LaCroix)· Lime wedge· Rosemary sprigCombine vodka, triple sec, grapefruit juice. Stir. Pour over ice. Top with grapefruit seltzer. Garnish with lime wedge or fresh rosemary sprig.

Fashion: A good look at looking good

Fashion: A good look at looking good

How we present ourselves in the world, or how we don’t, speaks volumes. Do you stay up on the latest trends out of Paris? (Cheryl) Or do you commit to a tried-and-true look that suits you regardless of what anyone else thinks? (Stasha) Do you feel confident giving fashion advice? (Cheryl) Or would you rather eat glass than offer an opinion on what another woman wears? (Stasha). One thing we agree on: if you rock it, wear it. Now kick off those heels and grab your favorite libation! We’re takin’ a good look at lookin’ good. Tonight's beverages:Cheryl's standby:1.5 oz Reyka Vodka3 oz water1.5 oz Cranberry juiceRaspberriesStir together, pour over ice. Add raspberries for garnish and enjoy! (One reason Cheryl like's this combo is that's light on the alcohol, lightly sweet from the cranberry juice, but most importantly, guarantees you drink water!) Stasha's standby: A glass of Cabernet. Grab an open a bottle of wine, tonight's choice was leftover Apothic from last night's dinner. Pour into a red-wine glass (larger bowl, wide rim). Fill to 1/3rd mark or between 5-8 oz. Let breathe. Enjoy. Cheryl's favorite fashion links: https://www.carbon38.com https://www.thereformation.comhttps://shop.lululemon.com/story/womenhttps://mdnt45.comhttps://www.eliesaab.comFor the style-challenged curvy woman, Stasha suggests checking out style and fashion coach Judith Gaton. https://www.judithgaton.com She also hosts a free podcast: https://www.judithgaton.com/podcast