Today marks the start of a new solo segment with Paige to supplement our regular weekly show to get you more help, more inspiration, and more lessons. It's called Paige's Perspective, and it's going to be a weekly message to our audience t provide more insight as to what a spouse's journey is like. This week Paige spends a moment to discuss something that many spouses and partners of alcoholics and addicts struggle with - the perpetual thought that my feelings were broken, not the relationship. Why can I not tolerate drinking and marriage like everyone else? Why can't I just let things go? Why do I feel this way? You're not crazy, you never were. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!On the web:www.twfo.comOnline Course: www.independentlystrong.comUse code WHEELIES75 for 75% off the entire course!Follow us on TikTok:https://tiktok.com/@twfo_coupleFollow us on Instagram:https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/Follow us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCoupleFollow us on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_coupleFind Taylor Counseling Group:https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:Donate Here

Many times spouses and partners are lost in a maze of issues that leave confusion and trouble answering a simple question, "What am I recovering from? What defines my recovery?" A marriage or relationship with an alcoholic or addict or a narcissistic or abusive person leaves the victim with issues ranging from PTSD, depression, anxiety disorder, "codependency" as Alanon calls it, or a range damage and it's complex. Much like someone with addiction is simply not recovering from substance abuse, recovery requires a journey involving therapy, support communities, self-work, and plenty of realizations along the way. In this episode we spend time discussing Paige's recovery and specifically, moving from naive and innocent to angry and cynical, ultimately to wisdom and knowing when to trust the right people and when to exclude harmful people from your world. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!On the web:www.twfo.comOnline Course: www.independentlystrong.comUse code WHEELIES75 for 75% off the entire course!Follow us on TikTok:https://tiktok.com/@twfo_coupleFollow us on Instagram:https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/Follow us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCoupleFollow us on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_coupleFind Taylor Counseling Group:https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:Donate Here

How much should you focus on the substance? To what degree is the substance responsible for someone's behavior? Is it easier to forgive someone's bad behavior because they're addicted? Should compassion for a struggling addict or alcoholic overshadow your needs for an equal partner, or for honesty in a relationship? With all of the information on addiction that ranges from choice to disease, it's incredibly hard to know what you should have tolerance for and what you shouldn't. We propose something that worked for us - focus on the behaviors and how they affect you and cast aside the substance. It has been our experience that the substance only made existing behaviors more severe, but it was not the cause of all of them. Long after the substance was removed, many of the harmful behaviors within our relationship remained. We discuss the benefits of focusing on behaviors rather than the substance to bring clarity to a relationship or marriage where addiction is present. We also discuss some of the common ways alcoholics and addicts use the addiction as an excuse for their behaviors and how this keeps spouses "trapped." We touch on the dangers of long-term lying and emotional abuse from an addicted person and how these things affect a spouse, and why many of the harmful behaviors you identify hang around long after the substance is gone. Our goal for the episode was to highlight the fact that it's not the substance that causes harm, it's the behaviors that come along with addiction and how they affect you, your children, and your environment. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!On the web:www.twfo.comOnline Course: www.independentlystrong.comUse code WHEELIES75 for 75% off the entire course!Follow us on TikTok:https://tiktok.com/@twfo_coupleFollow us on Instagram:https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/Follow us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCoupleFollow us on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_coupleFind Taylor Counseling Group:https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:Donate Here

We continue to answer listener submitted questions in this episode and address the following: 1. How do you learn to trust yourself and your instincts again when an alcoholic spouse has crippled your sense of self.2. How involved should a spouse or partner be in the decisions around treatment (rehab), aftercare (IOP/PHP/sober living), and even maintenance programs.3. How soon is too soon to start discussing ways the addiction impacted you, the marriage, your children. A spouse or partner discussing their trauma is incredibly important, but for many also a trigger for relapse.4. How to handle friends and family distancing themselves from you once they become aware of how alcoholism and addiction have impacted you and the relationship.5. Can a problem drinker ever learn to moderate again?We rapid-fire through these questions submitted by our wonderful community and we hope the discussion is helpful!Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!On the web:www.twfo.comOnline Course: www.independentlystrong.comUse code WHEELIES75 for 75% off the entire course!Follow us on TikTok:https://tiktok.com/@twfo_coupleFollow us on Instagram:https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/Follow us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCoupleFollow us on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_coupleFind Taylor Counseling Group:https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:Donate Here

We took listener questions for this episode and you can expect to find answers to questions such as: What should you expect when outside life events impact the recovery process, how to handle relapse, can trust be rebuilt after several relapses, is there a point at which trust is no longer on the table, how to handle the shame and guilt that comes from others when you stay in a relationship they don't approve of, how to get what you need out of a partner in early recovery, and much more! Thank you to everyone that submitted a question, and we hope to be able to do more of these in the near future! With so few resources for partners and spouses of alcoholics and addicts, we aim to be your voice and your primary source for content related to your life like nobody else can. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!On the web:www.twfo.comOnline Course: www.independentlystrong.comUse code WHEELIES75 for 75% off the entire course!Follow us on TikTok:https://tiktok.com/@twfo_coupleFollow us on Instagram:https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/Follow us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCoupleFollow us on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_coupleFind Taylor Counseling Group:https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:Donate Here

The recovery journey for a spouse or partner of an alcoholic or addict is not as organized as that of a substance abuser and it's far less controlled. Treatment centers, IOP and PHP programs all over the country offer solace to people struggling from addiction and a safe place for them to get away from their environment to focus on themselves for 30, 60, 90 days or more. The spouse has been clear minded the entire time through active addiction, they pick up extra slack in the relationship, and this continues onward whether someone is working towards sobriety or not. With so little time to focus on the damage caused from emotional and psychological abuse, the recovery journey for a spouse or partner is longer, harder, and far less clear than that of someone with an addiction treatment plan. In this episode we cover some of the reasons the journey of a spouse or partner may take longer than a substance abuser, and discuss some ways you can avoid some of the same pitfalls we encountered.Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!On the web:www.twfo.comOnline Course: www.independentlystrong.comUse code WHEELIES75 for 75% off the entire course!Follow us on TikTok:https://tiktok.com/@twfo_coupleFollow us on Instagram:https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/Follow us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCoupleFollow us on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_coupleFind Taylor Counseling Group:https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:Donate Here

Are they serious? Is this normal? How can you tell if someone is really invested in their recovery? In the world of addiction recovery, it's not exactly cut and dry. There are many paths to recovery, and we aren't concerned with how someone recovers, but as to whether real investment into sobriety and accountability are present.  In this episode we discuss the many words, attitudes and actions that will give you more clarity as to whether someone is serious about their recovery and rebuilding a relationship or if you have reason to be concerned. Whether it's your husband, wife, partner, or child this episode will no doubt shed some light on whether your suspicions are in fact warranted.Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!On the web:www.twfo.comOnline Course: www.independentlystrong.comUse code WHEELIES75 for 75% off the entire course!Follow us on TikTok:https://tiktok.com/@twfo_coupleFollow us on Instagram:https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/Follow us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCoupleFollow us on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_coupleFind Taylor Counseling Group:https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:Donate Here

Exploring the harsh reality of abuse and its profound impact on spouses, families, and children is no easy feat. Often, we're tempted to deny its existence in our own lives, but that's a dangerous oversight. Our vision gets clouded; we shift blame to addiction or other factors, failing to see the deeper roots of the problem. True liberation demands that we confront uncomfortable truths head-on. It requires tough conversations and even tougher choices.In this episode, we delve into recognizing abuse and its insidious effects. We share our own journeys, revealing how it took us years to acknowledge the harsh reality. Truth can be painful, but it's the path to freedom. As we navigate these difficult discussions, remember, we're here for you every step of the way.Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!On the web:www.twfo.comOnline Course: www.independentlystrong.comUse code WHEELIES75 for 75% off the entire course!Follow us on TikTok:https://tiktok.com/@twfo_coupleFollow us on Instagram:https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/Follow us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCoupleFollow us on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_coupleFind Taylor Counseling Group:https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:Donate Here

In this episode we discuss anhedonia, or what's commonly referred to as the "blah" feelings of early recovery for both the person coming out of substance abuse, as well as the spouse or partner. We cover the science behind anhedonia as well as what you can do to lessen its effects on your life and get back to feeling better. Many people report feeling "foggy", restless and fatigued, anxious, trouble feeling joy or excitement, and generally numb in early recovery. For many people this leads to relapse, but luckily it's temporary in the vast majority of cases. Likewise, spouses and partners of alcoholics and addicts go through a period of similar feelings as their loved one experiences these symptoms and they mourn the loss of a life they dreamed of as reality sets in. We've been there before and we've got your back through this.Treehouse Recovery: Emotional Flatlining - How to deal with anhedonia Addiction Explained, Rises & Falls in Dopamine: Dr. Andrew HubermanFind video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!On the web:www.twfo.comOnline Course: www.independentlystrong.comUse code WHEELIES75 for 75% off the entire course!Follow us on TikTok:https://tiktok.com/@twfo_coupleFollow us on Instagram:https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/Follow us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCoupleFollow us on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_coupleFind Taylor Counseling Group:https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:Donate Here

Simply removing the substance accomplishes very little. The term dry drunk refers to someone that has not done "the work." The work is the uncovering of root causes and discovering the "why" behind someone's inability to cope with feelings and emotions that caused them to turn to drinking in the first place. In this episode we discuss dry drunk as well as emotional sobriety and offer our experience that sheds light on what it takes to move past dry drunk and physical sobriety into emotional sobriety and true freedom from addiction. This episode features our answers to Wheelie submitted questions and it was a great conversation. Don't forget to leave a review and subscribe to the show!Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!On the web:www.twfo.comOnline Course: www.independentlystrong.comUse code WHEELIES75 for 75% off the entire course!Follow us on TikTok:https://tiktok.com/@twfo_coupleFollow us on Instagram:https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/Follow us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCoupleFollow us on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_coupleFind Taylor Counseling Group:https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:Donate Here

Phrases such as "We just need to move forward," "The past is the past, get over it," "Stop bringing up the past" may have a time and place, but not in your relationship post-addiction or after betrayal of any kind. Emotions buried alive never die. While it may be difficult to discuss the past, it's important to discuss it for accountability and to set the stage for healing in the future. When you say "We're not bringing up the past" you're effectively saying that your feelings of guilt and shame are more important than your partner's feelings of betrayal and abandonment. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!On the web:www.twfo.comOnline Course: www.independentlystrong.comUse code WHEELIES75 for 75% off the entire course!Follow us on TikTok:https://tiktok.com/@twfo_coupleFollow us on Instagram:https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/Follow us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCoupleFollow us on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_coupleFind Taylor Counseling Group:https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:Donate Here

In general, we don't like to be angry. It's uncomfortable and then we're faced with the proposition of confronting someone that has upset us which brings about an entirely new challenge. When it comes to anger with someone in active addiction, it's often futile to address concerns in a constructive way. So then what can you do with the anger? We propose repurposing it into something useful. It you're going to be angry, you might as well do something with it.Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!On the web:www.twfo.comOnline Course: www.independentlystrong.comUse code WHEELIES75 for 75% off the entire course!Follow us on TikTok:https://tiktok.com/@twfo_coupleFollow us on Instagram:https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/Follow us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCoupleFollow us on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_coupleFind Taylor Counseling Group:https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:Donate Here

In this episode we discuss some of the lessons we've learned in 4,000 days of sobriety. We discuss pain management, and our partnership with Aleve in their new awareness campaign called "The Painful Truth." Our story is as much about healthy and safe pain management as it is addiction recovery and we discuss what pain management looks like today. We get personal and talk about the beauty of a recovered life and our family weekend where every aspect of the lessons we learned were on display. Patience, gratitude, mindfulness and presence, spirituality, reframing positivity and hope, and acceptance were all on display within a short time period and it's important to remember that things CAN get better if you're willing to work for it.Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!On the web:www.twfo.comOnline Course: www.independentlystrong.comUse code WHEELIES75 for 75% off the entire course!Follow us on TikTok:https://tiktok.com/@twfo_coupleFollow us on Instagram:https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/Follow us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCoupleFollow us on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_coupleFind Taylor Counseling Group:https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:Donate Here

Being labeled a "Villain" is hurtful when you're just trying to protect yourself and your family. In this episode we delve into the complexities of being labeled the "villain" in someone else's story. Paige candidly shares her journey of grappling with self-esteem issues while navigating the role of the villain and the necessity of setting boundaries to protect herself. We explore the challenges of embracing this role for personal growth.  We once again tackle the vital topic of setting boundaries and dealing with criticism, shedding light on the dynamics of toxic relationships and their detrimental effects on mental health. Through personal anecdotes and insights, we stress the importance of accountability, authenticity, and trusting one's instincts in navigating toxic dynamics and fostering personal growth. While being labeled a villain and hearing untruths is never easy, it does get easier over time and it's frankly better than the alternative.Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!On the web:www.twfo.comOnline Course: www.independentlystrong.comUse code WHEELIES75 for 75% off the entire course!Follow us on TikTok:https://tiktok.com/@twfo_coupleFollow us on Instagram:https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/Follow us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCoupleFollow us on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_coupleFind Taylor Counseling Group:https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:Donate Here

In this episode we cover a particular type of grief common when loving an addicted person called ambiguous loss. Ambiguous loss is a profound sense of loss and sadness that does not stem from the death of a loved one. It may arise from a lack of emotional connection despite someone's physical presence, or conversely, the persistence of emotional ties in the absence of physical closeness. This type of loss leads individuals on a quest for answers, complicating and prolonging the grieving process, often leaving grief unresolved. The standard 5-step process of grief is not always applicable to partners and spouses of alcoholics and addicts and you've probably felt this before when reading about grief. You know you're grieving, but the literature isn't adding up. We take some time to talk about why. We take a deep dive into the work of Dr. Pauline Boss and her pioneering of ambiguous loss and how to develop resiliency to get through it. Articles and Study Referenced in Episode:Ambiguous Loss: A Complicated Type of Grief When Loved Ones Disappear (PDF)Resilience in Ambiguous Loss - American Journal of PsychotherapyThe Ambiguous Loss of Loving an Addict and Letting Them Go (Psychology Today)Craving love? Enduring Grief Activates Brain’s Reward Center (Study)Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!On the web:www.twfo.comOnline Course: www.independentlystrong.comUse code WHEELIES75 for 75% off the entire course!Follow us on TikTok:https://tiktok.com/@twfo_coupleFollow us on Instagram:https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/Follow us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCoupleFollow us on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_coupleFind Taylor Counseling Group:https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:Donate Here

Is the drinking really as bad as I feel it? Is this a serious problem or am I making something out of nothing? Did I sign up for this? Do I need to just suck it up? Am I overthinking or is my gut trying to tell me something?Addiction never feels like you think it would...chances are if you're asking yourself questions such as this, you're in it. We answer questions from our community in this episode and distill complex problems into clear, simple answers. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!On the web:www.twfo.comOnline Course: www.independentlystrong.comUse code WHEELIES75 for 75% off the entire course!Follow us on TikTok:https://tiktok.com/@twfo_coupleFollow us on Instagram:https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/Follow us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCoupleFollow us on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_coupleFind Taylor Counseling Group:https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:Donate Here

Overthinking can plague your mind with many scenarios, many of which are negative and lead to tumultuous thoughts and anxiety. It's more common today than it has ever been and it's not just unique to spouses and partners of alcoholics and addicts. Paige has recovered from anxiety disorder and is a self-professed recovered overthinker. We discuss the traps of overthinking and suggest some ways to break the habit that will lead to a more positive and realistic outlook of your life and the situations you encounter.Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!On the web:www.twfo.comOnline Course: www.independentlystrong.comUse code WHEELIES75 for 75% off the entire course!Follow us on TikTok:https://tiktok.com/@twfo_coupleFollow us on Instagram:https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/Follow us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCoupleFollow us on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_coupleFind Taylor Counseling Group:https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:Donate Here

The state of denial never feels like you think it would feel...Most people believe they can intuitively recognize when they're in a bad situation but that's rarely the case. Denial can be a comfortable place to be, but it will suffocate you over time. We discuss 10 truth bombs about denial and our hope is that from this episode you'll be able to distill the true from the false and gain clarity on the facts of your life and relationship.Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!On the web:www.twfo.comOnline Course: www.independentlystrong.comUse code WHEELIES75 for 75% off the entire course!Follow us on TikTok:https://tiktok.com/@twfo_coupleFollow us on Instagram:https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/Follow us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCoupleFollow us on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_coupleFind Taylor Counseling Group:https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:Donate Here

Infidelity was not part of our story, but we get questions about it weekly. Does the cloud of substance abuse excuse infidelity? Was it really them making the decision to cheat? How do I know if them saying it's not their fault is true? How do you rebuild a relationship after infidelity? We answer these questions and more in our discussion on infidelity from listeners and we hope you glean some much needed answers from it.Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!On the web:www.twfo.comOnline Course: www.independentlystrong.comUse code WHEELIES75 for 75% off the entire course!Follow us on TikTok:https://tiktok.com/@twfo_coupleFollow us on Instagram:https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/Follow us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCoupleFollow us on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_coupleFind Taylor Counseling Group:https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:Donate Here

We took questions from the community and extracted the most commonly asked questions about emotional and physical intimacy. We've never openly talked about our sex life or thoughts on it, but we get open and discuss all things intimate in this episode. We talk about how to rebuild intimacy, why men view sex differently, why sex drive plummets for people in early recovery, and talk about how addiction affects this crucial aspect of relationships.Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!On the web:www.twfo.comOnline Course: www.independentlystrong.comUse code WHEELIES75 for 75% off the entire course!Follow us on TikTok:https://tiktok.com/@twfo_coupleFollow us on Instagram:https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/Follow us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCoupleFollow us on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_coupleFind Taylor Counseling Group:https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:Donate Here