My New Life

Lovevery

The early years of a child’s life are the most important for their long-term development. Sometimes, the abundance of information out there can feel overwhelming and difficult to navigate. My New Life is here to support parents and help make sense of the science behind early learning. I’m Jessica Rolph, mother of three and CEO of Lovevery. With the help of experts from around the world, we break down all the child development science into usable nuggets of knowledge that you can put to the test in your own home. read less
Kids & FamilyKids & Family

Episodes

Executive function: Managing frustration
6d ago
Executive function: Managing frustration
Success in life — that looks different for everyone. But skills like persistence, managing frustration and emotional regulation tend to scaffold that success, no matter what the end result looks like. These skills are all part of what scientists call executive function, something we’re focusing on this season. We like to talk about executive function, because young children have lots of chances to practice these skills! In this episode, we look at how to build frustration tolerance. One of the best ways to do that is to play games — games where your child occasionally loses! Joining My New Life Host Jessica Rolph is Licensed Clinical Social Worker and founder of Starr Therapy, Talia Filippelli. She is a Genius of Play ambassador and has contributed to the Emotional Wellness Playbook.   Takeaways: Our brains develop back to front over our lifespan, and the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for executive function, isn’t fully developed until age 30. So adjust your expectations accordingly! Play is a great place to start building these skills. Coach your child through losing a game, rather than avoiding your child’s unhappiness at all costs. Explaining that every game has a loser, can help develop appropriate expectations. Talia starts games with her child by explaining: “I can’t tell you who’s going to win. I can’t predict the future. We don’t know how this is going to go.” If your child’s frustration is mounting (particularly if siblings are involved) encourage them to take a pause and to recognize the signals in their body: “I can see you’re getting frustrated. And I can tell because I see you’re moving all your pieces around...” Then validate their feelings and encourage them to put their feelings to words: “Tell me about what’s making you feel frustrated about this game.” If children don’t have the language to express what they’re feeling, they will often resort to behaviors, some of them unwelcome. The Lovevery wooden emotion dolls can help with emotional coaching. Ask your child where they feel the frustration in their body and point it out on the figure. With children who prefer tasks and games that are easy for them, Talia likes to introduce the word “challenge”. “You’re so good at this game, why not go for something that’s going to be a little harder and see how you do? Challenges can be fun!”    Mentioned in this episode: Brought to you by Lovevery.com  Find Talia Filippelli at Starr Therapy Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram
Executive function: Thinking ahead
Mar 6 2024
Executive function: Thinking ahead
Executive functioning skills are important, because they help us achieve our goals. Children with strong executive functioning skills have the focus, patience, flexibility and resilience to succeed in—and out—of school.  While children continue to develop these skills into adolescence, research shows they surge at 4 years old. And they can be really fun to practice! In this episode, My New Life Host Jessica Rolph welcomes Whitman Professor of Psychology Dr. Melissa Clearfield a second time. She first appeared on the show 3 years ago to discuss her research demonstrating differences in executive function in infants. This time, the focus is on executive function in older children, specifically a child’s ability to think ahead, a component of working memory. Takeaways: The three pillars of executive function are: impulse control, working memory, and cognitive flexibility. The Lovevery Reach for the Stars Matching Cards — where you sort by shape, and then code switch to sort the same cards by color — are a great way to practice cognitive flexibility. Executive function stems from attention, being able to focus on the right things and block out distractors. This is challenging at ages 3, 4 and 5 because of a child’s still-developing impulse control. Working on that selective, sustained focus is primary at this stage, and is best achieved through play with an adult. The concept of time is still very vague before the age of 5. “We’re leaving in 15 minutes” has little meaning. Sequencing, however, is something they can do! “We have three things to do. Can we get them all done before your sister gets home?” The Lovevery countdown timer helps reinforce this skill visually. Mentioned in this episode: Brought to you by Lovevery.com  Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram
When parenting feels unequal
Nov 27 2023
When parenting feels unequal
Our guest today is a mother of four children, ages 5 to 17. She knows well how the demands of parenting can run you into the ground. She made the choice to step off the “struggle bus of overwhelm” — as she calls it — but it was a move that took time, and conscious effort. The secret? Establishing clear boundaries. And choosing not to identify with the “mother as martyr” role. So many of us look for our partners to validate how hard we are working, before we give ourselves permission to delegate and take a break. Or hold onto resentment because we feel we are shouldering more than our fair share of the parenting burden.  In this episode, Julie Tenner gives us permission to ask: What do I need to show up as the best version of myself in this family? She is an Australian-based relationship expert who shares her wisdom as co-host of the podcast Nourishing the Mother. You can also find her at julietenner.love. Takeaways: If you find yourself resenting the people you love, it’s a sign you need to re-enforce your boundaries. Score-keeping is something we slip into when we’re feeling under-valued. Time to have a conversation with your partner about what you need out of each of your roles. This conversation around roles is constantly shifting. Revisit the agreements you make regularly because our needs as adults shift with the changing children around us. Julie likes to think about it as tending to the you, to the me, to the us and to the family inc. Julie talked about setting limits around breastfeeding and the inevitable resistance that a mother will come up against. Responding to your baby’s cries from a loving place, firm in your boundaries, can sound like: “Yeah, it’s really hard for you. I know you really want to have a feed, but I can’t give that to you right now, but I love you and I’m here.” Julie is a big fan of delegating. She reminds us that when delegating, we need to let go of how the task is executed. It’s not going to look exactly like it would have, if you had done it. But we can’t do this work on our own, so time to lean into the team!   Mentioned in this episode: Brought to you by Lovevery.com  Find Julie Tenner at julietenner.love Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram
Helping children deal with change
Nov 20 2023
Helping children deal with change
Why can change be so unsettling for our toddlers? I mean, change up the snack crackers and you may have a major crisis on your hands. On this episode of My New Life, Jessical Rolph hosts Lael Stone, author of “Raising Resilient and Compassionate Children”. Never is our resilience put to the test more so than in the face of change. If you and your family are changing things up — be it a new home, new caregiver, or a new school, Lael will help you navigate what can be tricky terrain with your child. In addition to her work as a parent educator, she is a mother of three. You can find Lael @laelstone. Takeaways: A great way to ease children into a big change (or even a smaller transition) is to create pictures and talk through what’s going to happen, who’s going to be there, and how it’s going to look. For those children that thrive on information, this dispels some of the anxiety around uncertainty. Make an effort to view change through the lens of your child. Even something like a visit to a new playground can feel scary. Meet their concerns with empathy and compassion rather than attempting to fix the situation, or justify why it’s no big deal. Children process what’s going on around them through play. Help your child to explore changes by creating a similar scenario with their favorite toys. It’s a great time to ask questions like: How do you think Teddy is feeling about moving to a new home? Change often makes children feel powerless. Try a power reversal game to restore some sense of power. This is a game where your child gets to be faster or stronger or know more than you do!   Mentioned in this episode: Brought to you by Lovevery.com  Find Lael Stone @laelstone Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram
Managing expectations as a mother
Nov 13 2023
Managing expectations as a mother
For the most part, limits provide a framework that helps everyone move through the day more fluidly, and with less friction. But on this episode of My New Life, we discuss limiting beliefs — beliefs that interfere with our own wellbeing and that of our family.  A big one is the notion that we can “have it all”. For parents who work outside the home, this can compound the pressure we already feel to be in more than one place at a time. And for parents who work inside the home, the line between family and professional needs gets easily blurred. Leaving everyone wondering: Am I a good enough fill-in-the-blank… parent? employee? boss? Psychologist and motherhood coach Yara Heary knows this dance all too well, and she’s here to help us explore how these limiting beliefs show up for us, because being aware of these thoughts is the first step toward changing them. You can find Yara @lifeafterbirthpsychology.  Takeaways: Host Jessica Rolph shared one of her own limiting beliefs: I’m not a present enough parent. Yara encouraged her to look at the standard to which she’s measuring her worth as a mother. Where did that standard come from? What is enough? This goes for any of the limiting beliefs we have. Yara ascribes to the notion that you can have it all, but not all at the same time. There are seasons when one or another role is going to take priority. Give yourself permission to settle into the current role, knowing that there will come a time when you can switch hats. When caring for young children, it can often feel like you haven’t “achieved” much. But that comes down to what we perceive as meaningful. If you write down all that you’ve ticked off in a day, it may be easier to re-evaluate those tasks as meaningful, valuable care-taking. If you’re working outside the home and finding the separation painful, focus on 10 minutes of special time with your child each day. This is a time where the phone is out of reach and you’re following your child’s lead. If your child has trouble saying goodbye when you leave for work, talk about this special ritual you will have, when it will happen and what it will look like.    Mentioned in this episode: Brought to you by Lovevery.com  Find Yara Heary @lifeafterbirthpsychology Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram
Expert in neurodiversity Dr. Billy on emotional regulation
Oct 30 2023
Expert in neurodiversity Dr. Billy on emotional regulation
We welcome Dr. Billy Garvey to this episode of My New Life. He runs a clinic in Melbourne, Australia, that helps parents focus on their children’s strengths, and move through some of their challenges.  The clinic has a 3-year waitlist and after listening to this episode, you’ll understand why: Dr. Billy is really good at helping caregivers and children connect in those moments when stronger limits are needed. He works with a lot of neurodiverse children, and brings that adaptive lens to our conversation. Dr. Billy is @drbillygarvey and has his own podcast, Pop Culture Parenting.  Takeaways: When your child is elevated — hitting or lashing out — it’s not the time to build skills. Our role in that moment is to show them they are safe. Rather than instructing them to “settle down,” take that moment to be a calming presence for your child. You might be thinking: I can’t believe that set them off! But Dr. Billy reminds us that the same sensitivity that feeds the emotional dysregulation also makes them really receptive to positive feedback — so focus on their strengths and harnessing those. Look for opportunities to praise them when they are interacting positively with a sibling or doing what they’ve been asked. Struggling to get out the door in the morning? See if you can chunk the larger request into smaller ones. For example, start with a specific 2-step direction (put on your socks and shoes) and, once that is mastered, you can move onto more steps. If your child is repeating a behavior that you’d like to see less of, be sure to give them an alternative rather than simply asking them to stop. If the behavior involves another child, create some distance, whenever possible. They need time to cool off.   Mentioned in this episode: Brought to you by Lovevery.com  Find Dr. Billy Garvey @drbillygarvey Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram
Helping siblings with boundaries
Oct 23 2023
Helping siblings with boundaries
Bickering, fighting, jealousy, constant comparison and competition — sibling rivalry can be exhausting. Here to help us reduce the conflict between our children is parent educator, Kristin Mariella. Her approach is to hold the limits, while welcoming the waves of emotion. You can find more from Kristin Mariella @respectfulmom. Takeaways: Hold your tongue! Kristin urges parents to resist getting involved with sibling conflict, as long as there is not a safety issue. Even with the best of intentions, adult interference creates resistance and it sends the message of mistrust. Welcome the big emotions your siblings have toward one another. It’s OK if they’re not the best of friends — and their relationship will shift over time. By normalizing disagreements, you will diminish the tension in the sibling relationship. Avoid fostering competition. For example, asking your children to race to the car has a tendency to pit one child against another. Instead, have them compete against you. Play the part of the clumsy adult and you're bound to bring some humor to the situation. Do your best to avoid equalizing things, particularly when it comes to food. Kristin reminds her children: “We never count food.” If you’re forever equaling out portions, you are sending the message that your children should look to their sibling’s plate to see if they have enough, rather than listening to their body.    Mentioned in this episode: Brought to you by Lovevery.com  Find Kristin Mariella @respectfulmom Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram
Behavior is a smoke alarm
Oct 16 2023
Behavior is a smoke alarm
There are lots of parenting experts talking about choosing connection over discipline, but today’s guest on My New Life has a fresh take on limit-setting: She compares bad behavior to a smoke alarm going off. Punishment is like taking a hose and pointing it at the alarm. If the pressure is great enough, the alarm will stop. But we still don’t know why it went off in the first place. We need to find the fire! Obstetric Social Worker and Parent Educator Genevieve Muir joins Host Jessica Rolph to provide tips on finding the origin of these emotional flare ups. You can find Gen @connectedparentingau.  Takeaways: Gen reminds us that you need to name it to tame it. There’s no modifying challenging behavior without figuring out the root cause. No matter what the behavior, children are never choosing to get it wrong. If they’re acting out, chances are good they need more connection with you. They are seeking that connection 24 hours a day, and they will seek it any way they can. If your child’s not okay, they probably don’t want us to fix it or solve it or make it better. They actually just want us to acknowledge their struggle: “You’re really not happy about the Nutella, huh?” It’s as simple as that. Or, for an older child, you can dig a bit deeper: “I can see you’re really struggling with this Nutella and I’m wondering if you’re a little bit nervous about going to a new camp today? That can feel scary.” Gen likes the phrase “I won’t let you hit” rather than something like “in this family, we don’t hit”. Not only does it clearly communicate to the child that they have crossed a boundary, it reminds you that your role is now to step in and keep everybody safe. She says setting boundaries with toddlers is most effective with a calm, but very much in control, physical presence. Remember, one-on-one time can go a long way toward diffusing sibling conflict. Rivalries generally stem from a child feeling like they aren’t getting enough of your attention.  Mentioned in this episode: Brought to you by Lovevery.com  Find Gen Muir @connectedparentingau Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram
What you should know about men's and women's fertility
Jul 31 2023
What you should know about men's and women's fertility
When it comes to starting or growing a family, many of us come face-to-face with a painful reality: Infertility. Even if you had an easy time conceiving, it doesn’t guarantee subsequent pregnancies will be just as easy.  Problems in men’s bodies are the cause of around half of all infertility. Does that statistic shock you? That could be because women of child-bearing age are bombarded with marketing for expensive fertility supplements and treatments, while men remain largely in the dark about their reproductive health. Women’s lifestyle choices—what they eat, drink, and use on their bodies—are scrutinized and judged. Yet sperm is influenced by the same lifestyle factors. Here to educate us on fertility for both men and women, is Leslie Schrock, top-selling author of the modern guide to pregnancy “Bumpin’”. She has now written a second book called “Fertility Rules”. Learn more about Leslie’s books @leslieschrock.  Takeaways: Men are just as likely as women to have health complications that contribute to infertility. The good news: There is a lot that men can do to improve their sperm supply because they regenerate it so frequently. The first step, says Leslie, is to book a preconception appointment. Have an honest conversation with your doctor about any medications or supplements you may be taking. Some people think that supplementing with testosterone will make a man more fertile, but it actually drops a man’s semen parameters. Leslie recommends only two supplements for women and men trying to conceive: CoQ10 and a prenatal vitamin with folic acid. She cautions women away from products that claim to regenerate your egg supply, which is not medically possible. Focus instead on ​​optimizing your overall health. It takes an average of three IVF cycles for a couple to have a baby. But fertility treatments rarely start there. Leslie spoke about kits for at-home insemination as well as timed intercourse as a first step you can try at home. While breastfeeding shouldn’t be relied upon for birth control, if you’re breastfeeding and trying to conceive, your body is not going to put its best foot forward to facilitate a second pregnancy. This is because the priority is feeding the human relying on your milk supply. When supporting those who are experiencing infertility, Leslie reminds us to listen. There is no greater gift.   Mentioned in this episode: Brought to you by Lovevery.com  Find Leslie Schrock @leslieschrock Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram
When and how to stop breastfeeding
Jan 11 2023
When and how to stop breastfeeding
Host Jessica Rolph breastfed all three of her children, but weaning the last has been an emotional experience. It’s hard to say how many mothers breastfeed beyond that first year or two, but often those mothers feel judged for choosing to continue.   Lyndsey Hookway joins us to help demystify “extended” breastfeeding and offer tips on weaning for those who are ready. She is an Internationally Board Certified Lactation Consultant for The Maternity Collective, based out of the UK.   Highlights: [1:14] Why do we refer to breastfeeding beyond age 2 as “extended”? [3:15] Jessica shares her personal experience feeding her daughter, even though it’s clearly not a nutritional experience anymore. [5:14] What are some of the benefits to the nursing mother? [7:02] Can breast milk lose some of its nutritional value over time? As volume decreases, why does the child still want to suck?  [8:30] If a mother wants to continue breastfeeding her toddler when a newborn arrives, is there any reason why she shouldn’t nurse both children simultaneously? What does the science say about this?  [11:20] Tender breasts are common with pregnancy and often initiate a natural weaning process. [13:11] Is there an optimum period to wean your child? [16:13] Lyndsey talks about hormonal fluctuations that can cause sadness after weaning, as well as temporary difficulty sleeping. [18:09] How to handle a toddler who keeps asking to be breastfed at night? [21:03] What is step one for a mother who wants to start the weaning process? [23:21] Lyndsey shares some additional tips for weaning during the day. [26:10] What to do if you’re feeling anxious about the weaning process.  [28:54] Jessica shares takeaways from her conversation with Lyndsey Hookway.   Mentioned in this episode: Brought to you by Lovevery.com  Find Lyndsey @Lyndsey_Hookway   Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram   Listen to Perspectives on feeding: Baby-led weaning with Jenny Best
Transitioning from crib to bed
Dec 28 2022
Transitioning from crib to bed
Switching your child from a crib to bed can be a big milestone! Most sleep experts recommend waiting until your child is around three years old.    Jessica Rolph, your host,  is joined by Dana Obleman to discuss what factors might go into that timing. Dana is an Infant and Child Sleep Consultant and the creator of The Sleep Sense Program.   Highlights: [1:08] What are the signs that your child is ready to make the switch from a crib to a bed?  [1:50] What should parents do when their child is climbing out of the crib? [3:30] How much weight should parents give to their children's request to be in a big bed?  [4:39] Night training in a bed: Will your child keep you up all night with requests to go to the potty?  [6:13] What can parents do when their child is potty trained during the day but not as confident at night? [8:02] If parents are welcoming a new sibling and want to use the crib for the baby, how should they manage this situation with their toddler?  [9:45] Is there anything parents can do to make the crib more comfortable for an older child?  [11:17] How can you best prepare a child for this transition? [13:11] What kind of bed does Dana recommend parents transition to?  [14:06] How concerned should parents be about the child rolling out? [14:56] What kind of child-proofing needs to happen when a child has access to the bedroom at night?  [16:14] What are some positive ways to handle night waking?  [17:43] Dana speaks about co-sleeping. [19:52] Does Dana have tips for parents that were co-sleeping and now making the switch? [21:09] Dana explains why sleep is a skill. [21:58] Jessica shares the key takeaways from her conversation with Dana Obleman.   Mentioned in this episode: Brought to you by Lovevery.com   Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram.
Co-parenting after a separation
Dec 14 2022
Co-parenting after a separation
Navigating the ups and downs of divorce looks different in each situation, but there are some universal ways to make it easier on our children. These start with better communication — rules around communicating that put your child first.   Here to help us establish some of these best practices is Dr. Tamara Afifi, a professor in Interpersonal Health Communication at the University of California, Santa Barbara. Her TedX Talk The impact of divorce on children has been viewed some 700,000 times.    Highlights: [1:29] What are the most common issues that you see with families confronting divorce?  [2:34] What kind of communication is not positive for children? [3:59] How does divorce affect children in the short-term?   [5:06] What can divorced parents do to support their children’s resiliency over time? [6:25] What are some best practices for divorced parents? [9:47] A listener shares a question about maintaining consistency when it comes to childcare. [11:45] How does divorce impact young children differently?  [13:18]  We are closer to our children than in previous generations. How has this changed the way that children experience divorce?  [14:30] How can we differentiate between a divorce-related behavior and something else that might need to get addressed?  [16:07] Tammy zooms the lens out and offers some perspective. [18:58] Jessica shares her top takeaways.   Mentioned in this episode: Brought to you by Lovevery.com   Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com   Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram
Talking about death
Nov 30 2022
Talking about death
Birthing is a topic we all want to weigh in on, but death? Not so much. We tend to avoid the subject, and when it comes to talking to our child about death, choosing the right words is hard. Of course, there’s no “right” way to talk about death except to lead with honesty and love.   Jessica Rolph, your host, welcomes Michele Benyo to the show. She is the founder of Good Grief Parenting. Michele came to this work in the wake of losing her child 20 years ago and helping his sibling through the grief. Today, Jessica and Michele discuss how parents can support their children through the death of a pet or loved one.   Highlights: [1:26] What do parents need to know about how children grieve? [3:13] How can parents help a grieving child? [4:30] Michele gives examples of some mistakes parents make when discussing death with children. [6:53] How can parents begin to use direct language to talk about death with their children? [9:19] How does grief manifest through play? [11:41] A question from the Lovevery community: “How do you answer: Are Grandma and Grandpa going to die? Followed by, Are you and Daddy going to die?” [13:52] When do children start to understand death? [15:27] How can we prepare our children for the death of someone who is close to death? [17:10] Another question from a listener: “How do I incorporate family members who died into my son’s life at 7 months old? How do I explain to him that they’re no longer here, but they love him very much?” [20:11] Ways to approach the death of a pet. [22:47] How should we prepare children for a funeral? [25:08] Jessica shares her takeaways from the conversation with Michele Benyo.   Mentioned in this episode: Brought to you by Lovevery.com Good Grief Parenting Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram.
Pacifiers: In or out?
Nov 16 2022
Pacifiers: In or out?
Pacifiers are so convenient… until they’re not. At some point, there can be concerns about developing teeth and interference with speech, and weaning a child off a pacifier can be challenging.   The American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry, the American Academy of Pediatrics, and speech and language therapists recommend starting that weaning process between 6 to 12 months, and weaning entirely before a child’s third birthday.    To guide us through that transition, My New Life host Jessica Rolph welcomes Dr. Amy Conrad to today’s episode. Dr. Amy is a mother to a 10-month-old, a Lovevery customer, and the host of the Ask Doctor Amy podcast.   Highlights: [1:19] Dr. Amy talks about the pros and cons of pacifier use. [3:42] What red flags should parents be looking for with regard to pacifier use? [5:52] Dr. Amy shares her thoughts about the paci fairy approach. [7:25] If a child is using a pacifier all through the day and at night, is it advisable to wean them from the pacifier during awake times, and then eventually extend that to nap-time and finally bedtime?  [8:38] Can we revert to pacifiers when a child gets sick or during a trip? [9:30] What about gradually shortening the tips of the pacifier?  [10:40] How much of a concern is tooth decay, and how and when should we wean our child from the bottle? [11:08] What are some signs that your baby is ready for a drinking cup?  [12:31] How and when to use sippy cups, open cups, and bottles?  [13:52] Jessica shares her takeaways from the conversation with Dr. Amy.   Mentioned in this episode: Brought to you by Lovevery.com   Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram.
Coping with separation anxiety
Nov 2 2022
Coping with separation anxiety
The stress of separation is real — it can be upsetting for both you and your child. Whether it be a child sobbing for you to stay when the babysitter shows up or clinging to your leg at drop-off, it’s easy to feel like you’re doing it all wrong when these raw emotions take over.   My New Life’s Jessica Rolph welcomes Family Psychologist Ashleigh Warner to help parents navigate this tricky terrain. Ashleigh reassures us that these feelings are normal, and shares ways to make separations easier on everyone involved.   Highlights: [1:45] What is causing our babies and toddlers to get so upset when we leave the room?  [3:02] Ashleigh talks about Dr. Gordon Neufeld’s model of attachment. [5:15] Ashleigh explains why it is completely normal for a child to struggle at drop-off. [6:37] What happens if there are a few caregivers, who might even change day by day?  [7:30] How to handle attachment in a daycare setting for a baby?  [9:03] Is sneaking out recommended? How should parents handle separation? [11:21] What can caretakers do to make separation less traumatic? [14:45] What is the role of distraction? Are distractions recommended? [15:58] How long is it okay for a child to be crying and upset over a separation?  [17:34] Is it ok to go back for your child if the crying is more than you can handle? [21:05] Should caregivers be practicing a few things at home before a big transition like starting daycare or preschool? [22:30] What are ways that caregivers can build trust in their children that they will always return? [23:30] Jessica presents the question of a listener. She’s a Navy mom who is gone a lot, and finds it painful when her child expresses a preference for Daddy. What advice does Ashleigh have for this mom?  [25:02] How can a parent ease the transition when returning to work? [26:38] Jessica shares her takeaways from her conversation with Ashleigh Warner.   Mentioned in this episode: Brought to you by Lovevery.com @raisinghumanskind Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram.
Preventing screen-time meltdowns
Oct 19 2022
Preventing screen-time meltdowns
Screens are hard to avoid in today’s world, and when our children do have access, turning them off can bring on some big emotions! Have you ever wondered why they have these oversized reactions? Or how to avoid them?   My New Life host Jessica Rolph is joined by  Dr. Martha Deiros Collado, a psychologist specializing in family therapy who has her own podcast called Talking Sense, and an Instagram presence at @dr.martha.psychologist. Listen to today’s episode for simple tips to bring more harmony to the conclusion of screen time.    Highlights: [1:03] Does Dr. Martha use screens with her three-year-old? [2:11] Which shows does Dr. Martha consider appropriate for her daughter?  [3:29] A listener asks for help managing her 3 year old’s big reactions every time she turns off the screen. [4:19] What is a parent to do about these meltdowns? [7:41] What is actually happening in the child’s brain while they are engaged with a screen? [11:22] Is there any evidence that the type of programming can affect children’s behavior?  [13:55] Does sticking to a schedule or having some kind of routine around screens help with limit setting? [16:02] Another parent shares a questions about timing exposure to screens. [18:23] Should parents use screen time as a reward? And what about withholding screens as a punishment? [23:55] What are some best practices around modeling moderation for our children? [27:18] Jessica shares takeaways from her conversation with Dr. Martha.   Mentioned in this episode: Brought to you by Lovevery.com   Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram.
When potty training gets messy
Oct 5 2022
When potty training gets messy
Is your child refusing to sit on the toilet? Or waiting until the pull-up is on to go poop? You’re not alone. For a lot of parents, the potty learning process is more drawn out than we anticipate. For some, it takes months or even years.   In previous episodes, you heard some common potty-training scenarios. We shared the advice of the author of Oh Crap Potty Training and Nicole Kavanaugh’s Montessori approach. In today’s episode, Host Jessica Rolph welcomes Quiara Smith, an occupational therapist specializing in pediatric pelvic floor health, to help with the trickier cases when it comes to learning potty etiquette.   Highlights: [1:42] What scenarios are most common in Quiara’s practice?  [2:28]  What are Quiara’s recommendations for a child who is withholding poop until nap time or night?  [3:25] What if the child’s sensory system is overwhelmed? [4:55] Is there anything that parents can do to create a more favorable environment in the bathroom for their child?  [6:46] A specific potty challenge scenario from one of Lovevery's listeners. [8:42] How firmly should parents hold boundaries around the use of diapers to poop?  [9:46] A listener asks a question about how we can help a toddler to differentiate between a diaper and pull-ups/training pants. [12:26] How can parents help their children to transition from the potty to the toilet? Listen to a parent whose child has been rejecting the regular toilet for almost a year. [15:24] What to do when your child uses the potty at school, but not at home? Or visa versa. [17:33] What can parents do when their child is withholding to the point of constipation? [20:09] What is the average time frame for learning to use the potty? Is there a point at which parents should seek outside help? [21:40] What do parents do if their child is potty trained and then experiences a regression?  [22:36] Quiara shares tips to continue potty training while traveling. [24:09] Quiara’s final advice.  [25:37] Jessica gives her takeaways from the conversation with Quiara Smith.   Mentioned in this episode: Brought to you by Lovevery.com   Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram.   Listen to Perspectives on Toileting with the Author of 'Oh Crap! Potty Training' and A Montessori Perspective on Toilet Learning. Find additional tips on potty training on the Lovevery blog at lovevery.com.
Get your baby talking with The Speech Sisters
Sep 21 2022
Get your baby talking with The Speech Sisters
This week we are revisiting our most-downloaded episode from Dec. 1, 2021, as we prepare for our upcoming season: Transitions. In the new season of the podcast, we will take a look at transitions from diapers to potty, crib to bed, saying goodby to pacifiers, and lots more.   Language milestones are a hot topic. When should my baby be speaking? And how many words? So much is tied up in our ability to communicate with our little people. On today’s episode of My New Life, we call in the experts to get your baby talking!    While the timeline for those treasured first words varies from child to child, there are some time-tested tricks to help the process along. Spoiler: Don’t be afraid to sing to your child. Jessica Rolph, your host, is accompanied by speech language experts Bridget Hillsberg and Brooke Dwyer, aka the Speech Sisters.   Key Takeaways: [1:54] How much is nature vs nurture when it comes to a child developing language? [3:13] Bridget and Brooke talk about their babies’ language development. [4:47] The Speech Sisters’ number one tip for parents: imitate. [6:05] What’s the difference between baby talk and imitating?  [8:01] Another tip for parents: Act it out. [9:25] Listening, labeling, and demonstrating play an important role in encouraging language development. [12:37] What constitutes saying the first word versus babbling? If you know what they mean when they say it, does that count as a word?  [13:23] How much should a child be talking? What’s typical? And when should we worry? [16:04] Bridget and Brooke share stories about children who received early intervention to assist in their language development. [18:25] Can a child learn language through screens? [21:17] How much of a child’s language development stems from parent intervention versus screens or some other outside service? [23:15] Parents have a tremendous impact on their children’s language acquisition.    Mentioned in this episode: Brought to you by Lovevery.com Speech Sisters on Instagram Find more about Bridget and Brooke on SpeechSisters.com
Simplifying: Why children benefit
Sep 7 2022
Simplifying: Why children benefit
The first years of a baby’s life can feel anything but simple. While their needs are few, namely love, food, sleep, and play, parents often feel pressure to provide the absolute best on these fronts. The best food. The best sleep. The best play.    We are told that to accomplish this by doing more: more playdates, more lessons, more outings, and more variety on the table. Jessica Rolph is joined by Kim John Payne on today’s episode to help us question this approach. He is the author of the best-seller Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids and he has also written: The Soul of Discipline: The Simplicity Parenting Approach to Warm, Firm, and Calm Guidance — From Toddlers to Teens and Being at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst: Practical Compassion in Parenting.   Highlights:: [2:07]  What does Simplicity Parenting mean? [3:15] Kim lists the four main areas to start simplifying your child’s life. [5:20] How do parents know if a toy is purposeful before they decide to bring it home?  [7:25] The power of predictability: Why do children benefit from knowing what to expect?  [12:24] What does a Waldorf-informed mealtime look like?  [15:10] How can parents simplify their lives more proactively and less reactively?  [17:12] A child’s brain processes a fraction slower than adults; Kim explains how to match their timing. [20:17] Kim shares tips for parents who are struggling with the transition from a busy day to reentering the family unit at a slower pace. [24:18] Jessica offers three takeaways from her conversation with Kim John Payne.   Mentioned in this episode: Brought to you by Lovevery.com   Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram.   Simplicity Parenting Podcast
Supporting a positive sibling relationship
Aug 24 2022
Supporting a positive sibling relationship
Sibling rivalry is normal. The kids usually move on quickly, but it often leaves us adults unhinged. What can we do to help diffuse those tense moments, and maybe even build some mutual respect?   In the spring we shared an episode about bringing home a new baby sibling. In today’s episode, we are following up with Lovevery expert Gabrielle Felman on sibling dynamics. We look at how to handle jealousy, possessiveness, fighting, as well as best practices around intervening, modeling resolutions, and incorporating one-on-one time. Gabrielle is an Early Childhood Development Expert based in New York.   Highlights: [1:46] When you are praising one of your children, is it necessary to compliment the other? [5:39] What is the best way to approach having special time with each of your children? How do you manage the other child’s emotions? [7:14] When do parents need to step in when it looks like a fight is brewing? [9:59] How can you help your children work together to come to a resolution? [14:25] How should parents handle children’s possessiveness over things? [17:04] What’s the best way to explain fairness and inequality? [19:01] What to do when your younger child wants a later bedtime like their sibling. [20:41] What is one thing that parents can do to foster better sibling relationships? [21:35] Jessica shares her takeaways from the conversation with Gabrielle.   Mentioned in this episode: Brought to you by Lovevery.com Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram.