🔸 A keyhole. Easy is scary. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: A lot of this felt familiar, I believe we had already done some witnessing here, so I wanted to see if we could take some shortcuts -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Sit down, shut up, hold on!2️⃣Pod boppins. We’re allowed to have concerns? 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Must remember to stretch before calls w Clare! We haven't done IFS in ~6 months, so when "This way, not that way" parts show up, I don’t feel like I have much room to challenge them. But I do wonder “how much of this part's role is diversionary?” Is the future/giggling just a more pleasant place to be? I wonder what percentage of journeyers have this kind of instant, visual access to these realms. 5? It’s hard for me to know how to guide other than “I'll hang out with you while you travel” 2️⃣ I could have worded it better, but my confidence in her and this process is strong. Maybe I was talking to my own skeptical parts… they’re saying “where’s the sadness, where’s the hurt, are we having too much fun, are we being distracted?” … maybe. But the only way out is through. Meaning, evn if that’s the case, we’ll find out only by continuing to notice and engage from where we are. Some of that confidence comes from knowing that Clare's “people pleaser” parts aren’t extreme. She’s not doing this for me! Her “personal development” parts work hard, but she’s not beating down my door to do this work. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Step 1: Who’s here? 🔹 Parts: P: Sleepy v judgementalP: Frustrated, an intensity “the universe is coming down on me”P: Holding it together. "I don’t want to be emoting during those challenging time" 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: I could be wrong! I had parts on edge, this being a first time caller, parts saying “jump in now! No now!” Others saying I should just observe for now, meditate on it later. But who knows if we'll talk again? My confidence of that being a part: 86%. I got stuck in town today, arrived home 60 seconds before call start, Riben didn't see my messages asking for 10 min late start, all of that had my parts scrambling a bit. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Teenage angst, impossible heaviness. She didn't think I'd get this far. 2️⃣ Rageful truth of the body. These social games feel like shit. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: 1️⃣ Low energy today, but it felt right to hit the gas. We don’t meet often, it’s been maybe 2.5 months, and nothing else booked, so that’s another reason I go faster, especially when spacey was getting involved. Combined self energy was on the edge, but I'm confident in Onyx, her route and tools. 2️⃣ Onyx's system reminds me of my own, probably more than any other caller's. So I have to be very careful to avoid projecting. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Gambling; the game of life. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: It's been about a year since we talked, and the only intention we set was to chat, not do IFS. So I took this call while walking, and didn't prep much. Presenting with what he called his most significant trauma, at beginning of call I was wanting to offer detours, not make the mistake of going too fast. But I'm not confident when I'm just one foot in IFS, and I don't think I was being particularly skillful or helpful. When an old pal reaches out and says "my mom died", even if our intention was to do IFS, it doesn't feel right to respond with "How about a minute of meditation? Got any parts...?" -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 We don’t live there anymore 2️⃣ Left out of the family picture 🔹 Parts: P: get it perfect or you’ll disappear. tired, wishes someone else was In charge. Works so hard for chance to rest. P: it’s too dangerous to look inside: “Are you crazy? He’ll kill us all”, story has been told, not felt. wants death certificatesE: waiting to be seen, in so much painP: healing is a battle 2️⃣ P: the judge. “she’s a coward” Not being willing to hear the truth. crazy about clean, searching for weak spot. Angry. You’re missing life by not expressing yourself. You’re giving up on relationships. Thinks I'm 13E: on the outside. “You’re not family, you don’t belong in this kind of picture” Judge keeps telling me I have to ask questions. Wants me to talk to the judge 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: 2️⃣ One of those hot midday summer calls, didn’t sleep great, headachy. I was finishing too many of her sentences but aiming for efficiency (win if I guess right!) -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Collapse. There’s a lot riding on this. 🔹 Parts: Rage: you never want to work w meUrgency has to be there because motivation and drive are not.Collapse is overwhelm + distraction (the 2)Grief from how time was spent in 20s. Lost, unhappy, alone. Wanted somebody to get her. 21 year old by the river. Wants me to write.The one who wants to hide from responsibility, career 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Tech problems had me flustered. Justine's intuition is so strong, I'm hesitant to open my mouth. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 My dad was a good gardener… 🔹 Parts: P: Shit, might have to go somewhere I've been avoiding P: Until you do this, you’re just pissing around the edgesP: “He wasn’t doing anything to me”. I was the problem. P: Self-like part thinks I'm under 10. Needs the proofE: Shock and hugeness. Frustration. Not being understood, heard, seen. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: I’m doing too much analyzing, making too many comments without purpose or intention. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 A block around remembering my dreams 🔹 Parts: 4yo is afraid to go to sleep. And confused about why others brush it off. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: My non-responses weren’t always cuz I thought that would be ideal, just not at full power, long day. I could have called attention to the mom-defender, maybe I just didn't have the language, or thought it might pull us off track. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 “I have to be good at this”2️⃣ Triangles and check-in tips 🔹 Parts: P “The rehearser” narrates everything.P Jittery, won’t let me go deep, everything gets suspended. And *you’re not gonna follow through*. Don’t even start.P “on the spot” Anxious about it being there.P Agenda, figure it out. How will I know?P Frustrated about “don’t even start”P “I have to be good at this” protecting:E voiceless, powerless.P “Adult self”, invalidating, shutting down other parts. 2️⃣ P The mask. Having to get it right. Thinks im 7 (maybe). Needs me to get more sleep.E humiliation -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 The cost of youthfulness; making sense of “You’re ugly” 2️⃣ The precious house, where the little girl was almost strangled to death. 🔹 Parts: P Everything is my fault, im a monster, im selfish.P Afraid of change, the new relationship, having someone say he loves meP ”I'm able to make somebody feel good??” Afraid I will soar too highP/E? I’ll go under if someone leaves (and if i'm not ugly).E knotted up, fear stricken, awaiting ultimate punishment. Nothing stays, nothing to hold on to, everything leaves. Maybe 5-8 2️⃣ Ice cold exclusion, utter despair and painPanic: “if he sees behind the mask, sees how ugly I am, then he will leave me too” E: 6, 7, 8 - grandma disappearing is all my fault. Taking on gaurdian's shame. Have to put on a mask to show the world What a good granddaughter I am, Grandad and mom never talked to me about it. Nasty kettle. Bottomless guilt. Mom will do anything to tame that strong will. Wants a desert, place without walls, nothing hard, without judgement, can sink into sand. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Don’t know. Maybe not much. Felt bad ending the call where we did but it didn’t seem too disruptive. Not sure how to handle when a part says “don’t leave” and I'm like “ok time to go”. I’ll try to get Mio in again soon, but I'm also curious how she handles it on her own. 2️⃣ Kept my foot on the gas the whole time; not stopping to check with every protector. Felt right. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Getting to matter 🔹 Parts: P: Realist, tired of the rollercoasterP: Enthusiasm & InspirationP: We've done this beforeE: Dismissible. Gymnast. Just wanted her mom to care. Not allowed to have reaction to being told no. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 1️⃣ Beyond committed. The art and science of figuring out your entire self 2️⃣ Deep down bad parts. It’s crazy the way kids are treated.📌 1️⃣ Olivia Followed up: i will say-- i actually wish i talked more about this on the pod but the mdma aftermath isn't always a treat, there are actually some big feelings of turmoil afterwards, you kind of feel like your life is a mess for a couple weeks because stuff is hitting you. i felt that way and my friend also felt that way... but the ensuing clarity and breakthroughs are worth it it's like you're ripped open a bit and then enable to heal though the healing still requires a good amount of work or at least it did in my case, i found it hard to even do my job for a week, and i was constantly feeling like, how do i figure out this maze of feels?! james: 
Ive not experienced that negative side, but maybe I had less I was needing (or willing) to heal Olivia: 
i'm definitely willing to believe it's different for everyone my friend for instance, i dont think she would even say she did a lot of work to get to her breakthrough she was just a mess for 2 weeks and then had kind of a sudden realization 🔹 Parts: P: holds tension, clenching chest, hanging on to sense of dread. Needs manager not rush on to new shineyP: manager “if I don’t watch this how will I learn” a person glued to the screenP: tape playing, carrying the memories. I love my memories!P: managers are bad! Read the IFS book! 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: 1️⃣ Do differently? No; whatever got me here, to this place, with this person, makes me glad I did everything the way did. Cynical part's answer: quit Live IFS, start Live MDMA. 2️⃣ It’s been 2+ weeks of high stress / high stakes stuff for me. I've been increasingly concerned about the effects on my health, multiple ailments reappearing. Today was *my* do whatever day, finally vacation day. I just lounged around, fed the crows, stretched a lot, ate what & when I wanted, skipped exercise (and that ~hour of call prep I normally do). So this was fitting. When I start getting sick, my “figure it out” part takes over, researching like mad, making a project out of it, documenting everything, reviewing old notes. But lately I've been working with it more, taking it seriously, and allowing that process to complete. Then I actually arrive at “I've read enough, made enough todos and appts, time for that part to rest. Let's try calm, space, and see what intuition (now more informed) brings. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 What are the consequences of being vulnerable? Of trusting men? An experiment. 🔹 Parts: Ps: Put it all out there v. hold backE: 14 responsible, get a job, romantic partnersE: love and acceptance from male role models 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Do differently: prepare better for midday calls, I'm often a little slow out of the gate. Grateful for Christine's leadership, which refocused the session multiple times. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Doing it wrong and the real fear chat with James. 🔹 Parts: P: Judgement about watching tv, should be more noble and spiritual. Puts a bow on it, labeling it. Too much content. Stuff going on at 3 is a boring old story. Frustrated others can’t read my mind. Where do i fit in? (Same burden as exiles)P: “You’re not real and you don’t belong” (same as above?)P: fear of above, of it taking over. Just needs the physical needs met, tuck in at night.E: 7 yo protected by p1E: 5 yo unseen 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Day 4 of deep relaxation, a personal vacation, have been doing lots of my own parts work. I'd like to do more to maintain continuity; "doing it wrong" gives us these glimpses, and when they're share with me (not Justine-Self), I should take more responsibility for following up. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Alethea Hanna is a trauma recovery coach with IFS Level II training. She is passionate about the IFS model and looks forward to the day when everyone can regularly experience the relief of looking at and listening to their parts with love. She can be reached at alethea.hanna@gmail.com -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Overwhelmed puzzler, a problem I'm not in the middle of. 🔹 Parts: Walking in a pool of griefCrying when thinking about being heldThe clouds, don’t know, not sure, can’t place things, feel lostOverwhelmed, about parts, work, about life. You don’t understand how complex that is.Sad about the overwhelmedPuzzler Figure it outPusher 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: I can’t explain every decision made in targeting. We can move quickly, I want to keep looking out for it being too quick. ----- 🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: ⁠Feedback Form⁠ 😀Come chat with us: ⁠Discord⁠ 🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ⁠Itunes⁠ ⁠YouTube⁠ ⁠How to leave a review - iPhone⁠ 👉 Find your ACE score with this ⁠one-page questionnaire⁠

🔸 A floating freight train 🔹 Parts: Bullshit detectorFreight train of sadnessGet a compliment then fall apart 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: I coulda been a little quicker on the draw. Kinda feel that way about all my calls. But. I have time. I rarely regret taking it -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Hot date heartache. Making it safe to want. 🔹 Parts: P: the deep well. Feeling left out, parts that are hurt. i’m not acceptable, there’s something wrong with me, im ugly, old, unlovable. longing to be loved and recognized but asking for it will bring ridiculeP: scared, hopeless, it will swallow me up. The want is too big. P: judge. who do you think you are, you want too much. Judging the anger of:E: (same as first?) angry 2 year old hitting her sister. felt robbed, little sister sucked up all the oxygen. Needs told she’s adorable and lovable and amazing! Wants to be held and also let go. I have to be angry cuz if not, I will die. Cut the cords to the surveillance apparatus.P: angry, being punished by GodE: 6-7 yo experience the loss. angry. Everything I do is wrong! Am I really this monster? Shunted away 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Faster targeting. I know I sound off, a little short. Not feeling tip-top today. And parts increasingly frustrated w my yielding to story-telling. Maybe we should start charging by the hour. Joke. But I imagine the constraint of a 1-hour time limit used by most professionals has its upsides. “Yes you could tell me a story… and now we have 48 minutes to do the work…” I'm not complaining from a “waste my time” part, that’s not it. More like “I could serve better if I had some policy here”. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Family loss. She needed there to be more of a network 🔹 Parts: P: minimizer. This is fine now, nothing to see here. Family image protector. Never look back. Doesn’t want a bunch of whining, it’s weak to be bothered by things that aren’t horrible. “Self like” is not gonna get the job doneE: kid from whom something was taken. There weren’t other adults. I want my auntie. Too much focus on her. Nobody explained. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Once I was certain about Theresa’s connection w exile, I relaxed and let some other of my parts (who love talking shop w T) step in. Maybe not ideal. But definitely better than starting a session that way. As for the concept of "inviting the Self of someone else’s parts", it's never felt right to me. If someone was not good to me, who am I serving by imagining they were? Self can do anything for its parts; “I am here, I can go to where you are, and here’s how I would help” builds trust and heals, in the present. Or Self can "see that these were parts of [other person], and have compassion for their system”, in the present. But I think "imagine he was good to you" risks invalidating a part's experience. Responding to “she needed those relationships not to end” I could have reiterated, "what did she need from someone (you), given those relationships were ending." -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire