Keep Talking

Dan Riley

"Keep Talking" exists to have conversations that might help to make a better society and a better culture. I believe that each guest has important information and stories to make public. And it's something that I want to share. read less
Society & CultureSociety & Culture

Episodes

Episode 95: Rob Henderson - Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class
Feb 20 2024
Episode 95: Rob Henderson - Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class
Rob Henderson is an Air Force Veteran, an alumnus of Yale and Cambridge, an essayist, and the author of "Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class." During our conversation, Rob talks about his early life, his experience in the American foster care system, and his unlikely journey out of the unstable and chaotic environment of his youth.Rob is one of my favorite thinkers, and it's damn near miraculous that this brilliant and prolific writer comes from the upbringing that he details in the book. Rob's memoir gives voice to a human experience that is largely invisible and unknown to the American credentialed class: abandonment by one's biological parents, an unstable home life with uncaring guardians, rampant drug abuse and early childhood violence, and a general environment of nihilism that pervades the formative years of life.Rob's arc gives him a unique perspective into American social class, what really matters in the development of children, and what our society should prioritize for childhood and adult well-being.Rob notes in the book that "in the U.S., 60% of boys in foster care are later incarcerated, while only 3% graduate from college." We are all fortunate that Rob is one of the lucky ones to escape the crucible of his upbringing, and to give testimony to the lived, troubled experiences of the voiceless millions who have had similar lives, right under our noses.------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Rate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Intro(03:00) How the book came about(08:15) Rob's early life(18:42) The effect of instability and two quotes from "Troubled"(26:37) America's misguided "success" obsession with education and credentials(34:04) How to help kids in chaotic foster care or impoverished homes(42:29) Should parenthood be more rare?(53:49) How Rob knew he needed to enlist to change his life trajectory(01:02:58) Rob addressing rehab and his own trauma(01:16:04) Shame and rage and deliberately trying to change(01:22:10) Observations from Yale and luxury beliefs(01:37:18) Advice for kids with a similar background to Rob
Episode 94: Jon Dean - The Science of DMT
Feb 16 2024
Episode 94: Jon Dean - The Science of DMT
Jon Dean is a postdoc research fellow at UCSD and received his PhD in molecular and integrative physiology at the University of Michigan, where he published a landmark 2019 study on DMT. During our conversation, we talk about how and why Jon became interested in DMT, the details of his 2019 study, Rick Strassman's 2001 book "DMT: The Spirit Molecule", and what Strassman found after giving nearly 400 doses of DMT to roughly five dozen volunteers.Jon is quick to note how little we understand about consciousness and the mind, and how our world is created in our brains. He discusses the bizarre, rather consistent details that many who take DMT report, and we speculate as to the role that this simple chemical might have in making what we call reality, along with the anecdotal stories of those who believe that its modulation can create a portal into another.------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Rate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------00:00 Intro02:04 How Jon got interested in DMT 07:36 How a death of a friend influenced Jon's journey 11:00 The influence of Rick Strassman 12:29 Rick Strassman's work, detailed in "DMT: The Spirit Molecule" 20:11 Anecdotes from what happens to people who do DMT 24:41 How Jon attempts to get funding for a controversial subject 32:51 Jon's three main discoveries about DMT from his 2019 paper 41:54 DMT is the only psychedelic known to be produced by the human body 44:51 Quotes from Rick Strassman speculating about DMT 53:45 How Jon's research on DMT has changed his view on life and death 57:36 Jon's growing acceptance of death post-psychedelic use 59:03 The future of psychedelic research
Episode 93: Robin Dunbar - Why Do Humans Have Friends?
Feb 10 2024
Episode 93: Robin Dunbar - Why Do Humans Have Friends?
Robin Dunbar is a professor, an evolutionary psychologist, and the author of many books, including "Friends: Understanding the Power of Our Most Important Relationships." During our conversation, Robin talks about how and why he became interested in evolutionary psychology, what evolutionary psychology is, and its explanatory power.He also talks about human social dynamics, and our "circles of friendship." These concentric circles include the universal findings of how, on average, human numerically structure their social lives: intimate friends (1.5), close friends (5), best friends (15), good friends (50), friends (150), acquaintances (500), and known names (1,500). "Dunbar's number" of 150 is really just one of these tiers.Finally, Robin discusses why humans have friends, the "seven pillars of friendship," how people vet others for their appropriate tier early in friendship, and the loneliness people often experience when their "inner circles" are not robust and strong. The health and endorphin benefits of real friends, Robin notes, is often better than any therapy or medicine, and is free to all. I loved talking to this fascinating, friendly, and funny scholar, and hope to have him back on the show not too far down the road.------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Rate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------00:00 Intro02:51 Why evolutionary psychology? 07:16 Rethinking evolutionary arguments to benefit genes. 15:43 Humanities are actually proper sciences applying evidence. 18:32 Evolution shapes behavior, but brain allows freedom. 26:07 Social groups crucial for primate survival. 29:47 Close friendships crucial for psychological and physical health. 37:16 Research found commonalities in social media posting. 42:27 Club membership based on beer, social interaction. 48:18 In hunter-gatherer societies, 150 descendants are common. 54:40 Friends book explores universal categories for human friendships. 58:41 Close friends can help you live longer.01:01:39 Building friendships
Episode 92: James Hollis - A Life of Meaning
Jan 19 2024
Episode 92: James Hollis - A Life of Meaning
James Hollis is a Jungian psychoanalyst and the author of many books, including his latest: "A Life of Meaning," which is the primary subject of our conversation. During our conversation, Jim talks about some of the major themes in his work and his book: the shadow, the numinous, psychopathology, lethargy, and fear.Jim is one of my favorite writers and thinkers, and I reference him as much as anyone. This conversation is full of some of my favorite ideas and quotes, including this first one from his new book:"Probably the wisest thing ever said about the shadow was uttered by the Roman African playwright Terence, who, a little over two thousand years ago, said, 'Nothing human is alien to me.'”And the second from the writings of Carl Jung:"The spirit of evil is negation of the life force by fear. Only boldness can deliver us from fear. If the risk is not taken, the meaning of life is violated."------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Rate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------00:00 Intro 02:02 Why Jim wrote "A Life of Meaning" 06:25 The shadow 09:35 Why confront one's shadow? 11:45 The numinous and finding your calling26:17 Lethargy is a threat to living 30:52 A modern culture of distraction 33:25 Jim's decision to become a public educator 38:59 Jim's growth beyond his family of origin 46:27 Psychopathology 50:23 Sin: missing the mark 57:12 Fear - the spirit of evil is negation of the life force by fear 01:01:47 Jim is a "recovering nice person"
Episode 91: Paul Conti - Understanding Trauma
Jan 12 2024
Episode 91: Paul Conti - Understanding Trauma
Paul Conti is a psychiatrist, a trauma expert, the former Chief Resident at Harvard, and the author of "Trauma: The Invisible Epidemic." During our conversation, Paul talks about the precise definition of trauma: something that overwhelms one's coping mechanisms and changes the brain, his own personal experience with trauma, the state of mental healthcare in America, how we know one has experienced trauma, how trauma often leads to hidden shame that prevents healing, what trauma is not, how he has stepped outside of mainstream healthcare practices to help his patients, and suggestions for mitigating the negative effects and suffering caused by trauma.Paul is extraordinarily open and informed about the subject of trauma. It is his view that having a holistic approach to treatment and taking the time necessary to establish rapport with patients is key in understanding and addressing the root-cause of his patients' ailments. This was one of my favorite conversations in a long time, and it ends on a note of hope: by providing some tools that are already available for those in need and noting tools that may come in the near future to help human beings become well.------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Show notesRate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Intro02:26 Defining trauma07:29 How do we know someone has experienced trauma?11:06 Paul's personal experience with trauma.17:49 Quote about addressing symptoms in medicine system.18:13 How Paul knew he needed help addressing his own trauma.26:32 What isn't trauma?28:56 Scientific evidence of trauma.30:39 What commonly causes trauma?34:13 The relationship of trauma and shame.40:16 Hope for addressing trauma in modernity, particularly for men.46:56 Failing to seek help due to social conditioning.52:00 Paul working outside the medical system and creating rapport with patients.01:00::08 Tactics for overcoming trauma and suffering01:06:31 Where we are in our understanding of the mind and brain01:11:29 MDMA therapy and what Paul is hopeful about in the future
Episode 89: Peter Levine: Healing Trauma
Nov 17 2023
Episode 89: Peter Levine: Healing Trauma
Peter Levine is a lecturer, a psychotherapist, and the author of various best-selling books including "Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma." During our conversation, Peter talks about how our culture deals with and talks about trauma, the oneness of the mind and the body, and viewing trauma from a naturalistic perspective.Peter has been revolutionary in reframing trauma as something physical, something within the body. His somatic experiencing techniques have been created with this outlook, and aim to help those who are suffering to have a way to release trauma and to reconnect with themselves.Peter has written that "traumatized people are not suffering from a disease in the normal sense of the word - they have become stuck in an aroused state." His work, begun many decades ago, has improved our understanding of the nature of trauma and has helped many to live happier, healthier lives.------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Show notesRate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Intro(02:02) How America approached trauma 50 years ago(04:13) Nancy and somatic experiencing(16:14) Changing our understanding of trauma(25:38) Trauma being viewed as a moral failing(36:42) Peter's childhood trauma(42:57) The wounded healer(47:52) Recommendations to work through trauma(50:16) A quote about trauma from Peter(57:07) Viewing trauma from a naturalist perspective(57:49) Various tools for approaching trauma(01:03:53) What individuals can do to improve the world
Episode 88: Barry Schwartz - The Paradox of Choice
Sep 29 2023
Episode 88: Barry Schwartz - The Paradox of Choice
Barry Schwartz is a TED speaker, a professor, a social scientist, and the author of "The Paradox of Choice." During our conversation, Barry talks about decision paralysis, the downsides of having too many options, and the difference between what calls a "maximizer" and a "satisficier." He also talks about his view that modern depression is in part caused people feeling overwhelmed by choice, how social media and modernity have exacerbated the paradox of choice, and the importance of individuals to intentionally limit their choices.Barry writes in his book: “There’s no question that some choice is better than none, but it doesn’t follow from that that more choice is better than some choice.” "The Paradox of Choice" is nearly 20 years old, and its message, to me, is both counterintuitive and evergreen. It flies in the face of the most American of ideals: the value of freedom, the value of endless optionality.To my mind, Barry's ideas are worth considering. He's right that endless choice can lead to “paralysis rather than liberation" - an observation that our culture, increasingly, would do well to heed.------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Show notesRate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Intro(02:11) The genesis of "The Paradox of Choice"(07:51) The relevance of "The Paradox of Choice" today(12:17) The ideal of freedom of choice in Western Civilization(15:12) "Maximizer" vs "Satisficer"(19:08) Is it ever wise to be a "Maximizer"?(25:56) Depression caused by excess choice(27:40) How can Maximizers be persuaded to change?(31:00) Placing intentional limits on yourself(34:16) What else is causing the negativity of excess choice?(42:02) Insatiability and workaholism in America(49:06) Increasing choice decreases economic activity(53:40) Dating, choice, and how to change
Episode 87: Jon Kostas - Curing My Alcoholism with Psilocybin Therapy
Sep 15 2023
Episode 87: Jon Kostas - Curing My Alcoholism with Psilocybin Therapy
Jon Kostas (hello@apollopact.org) is an activist, a former alcoholic, and the first study participant in the NYU psilocybin clinical trials. During our conversation, Jon talks about his years of alcohol abuse, his attempts to rid himself of the addiction, his doctor's belief that, in his mid-20's, his quantity of alcohol consumption would likely kill him within a few years, and his eventual experience of a medically-supervised "heroic dose" of psilocybin - the psychoactive ingredient in magic mushrooms - at New York University.Jon discusses what his trip was like, how it cured him of his alcohol cravings, the efficacy rates of such treatments, and how it has motivated him to dedicate his life to help others get access to professionally-supervised psychedelic experiences to address addiction and other aspects of human suffering.Jon is the first person on this show who was a friend before the interview. His story is an incredible one and offers hope to many who are battling severe addiction. It takes courageous people like Jon to step forward and share honest, open, and very personal stories to effect real change. It was an honor to do this one.------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Show notesRate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Intro(03:16) Drinking and early life in New York City(09:58) Did Jon view his drinking as a problem?(14:18) What are mornings like as an alcoholic?(20:10) Drunk life was better than sober life(21:48) Alcoholism rooted in anxiety(25:52) Alcohol providing relief from pressure(29:57) When Jon knew he had a real problem(32:32) AA, specialists, pharmaceuticals, and counselors didn't work(37:27) Jon's trajectory prior to the NYU trial(49:32) The NYU psilocybin for addiction trial(57:30) Jon's psychological state prior to the NYU trial(59:55) The first psychedelic trip(01:17:49) How did this experience cure his alcoholism?(01:24:17) Is the word "cured" appropriate?(01:29:37) What would Jon say to current addicts?(01:35:10) Advocating for doing this work in a clinical setting
Episode 86: Leidy Klotz - Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less
Sep 1 2023
Episode 86: Leidy Klotz - Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less
Leidy Klotz is a professor at the University of Virginia and is the author of "Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less." During our conversation, Leidy talks about why humans are so wired to add to, rather than subtract from, their life, how addition is a signal of competence that we are hard-wired to display, and the downsides of this natural tendency.Leidy also talks about the many ways in which subtracting can be beneficial: from quitting smoking and high-sugar diets, to removing modern addictions like excessive social media use, to getting rid of work meetings to create slack for creativity and focus.The power of subtraction can't be unseen once it's glimpsed. Evolution operates by removing what doesn't work, the "via negativa" concept notes that we know what is wrong with more clarity than what is right, that knowledge grows by subtraction, and human wellbeing is often best boosted by removing a toxic relationship, a toxic boss, or toxic stress. There is a humility in this approach, and as Leidy notes, perhaps we all need to be more-often prompted to tweak our life goals and New Years' resolutions to include habits that need to be subtracted, in addition to those we want to add.------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Show notesRate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Intro(01:23) How "Subtract" came to be(03:56) Coming to the theme of subtraction(07:03) Why humans are so wired to add(11:13) Subtraction as a proactive act(19:15) Cultural differences regarding subtraction(27:28) "Via negativa"(33:30) Evolution is an act of subtraction(35:20) Quotes about subtraction(45:34) Subtraction to fight modern addictions(55:08) Subtraction in New Year's Resolutions
Episode 85: Shawn T. Smith - How to Vet Women for Relationships
Aug 18 2023
Episode 85: Shawn T. Smith - How to Vet Women for Relationships
Shawn T. Smith is a clinical psychologist and an author of many books, including his best-seller, The "Tactical Guide to Women." During our conversation, Shawn talks about modern dating, the relationship issues with which his male and female clients are struggling, dating apps, how evolutionary psychology has influenced him, and the "red pill" community. More expansively, he talks about how "The Tactical Guide" came to be, what men can do to properly vet women for long-term relationships, and the importance of time in making life-changing decisions.This episode is primarily for men. I have found Shawn to be a candid, sane, and even-handed thinker in the online world of mating and dating. Sean is a fair-minded and strong voice for men, and I would encourage any young man - either looking to make wise life choices or suffering due to indifference - to consult his work.------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Show notesRate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Intro(02:00) How "The Tactical Guide to Women" came to be(03:42) A void in the culture(04:50) The default male approach(06:17) The major themes of "The Tactical Guide"(07:72) The importance of time in vetting(11:50) Red and green flags to look for(16:42) Borderline personality disorder(21:06) Evolutionary psychology(24:52) Roy Baumeister(25:41) Relationship issues he sees in his clinical practice(28:50) Date-onomics and city sex ratios(30:37) Advice for men who are struggling(32:39) Common dating complaints of women(34:08) Dating apps and the Pareto principle(41:20) The tragic aspect of female professional success(45:15) What is the proper message for young women?(46:07) The "Barbie" phenomenon(47:14) What makes for a successful long-term relationship?(50:43) The red pill community(59:40) Who does Shawn recommend for further knowledge?(01:01:22) Why does this information matter?
Episode 84: Brent W. Roberts - The Big Five personality traits
Aug 4 2023
Episode 84: Brent W. Roberts - The Big Five personality traits
Brent W. Roberts is a professor at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign and specializes in human personality. During our conversation, Brent talks The Big Five personality traits, what personality is, the differences between the Big Five and the Myers-Briggs personality test, diversity in human personality, the role of genes and sex differences in personality, evolutionary psychology, the stability of one's personality over time, how to decrease trait neuroticism, and practical applications of personality research.I've been fascinated by the Big Five ever since I learned about it a few years ago. It's clear to me that there's a massive public hunger to learn about human personality: what it is, how we know what we know, and how it can better illuminate who we are as a species and as individuals.------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Show notesRate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Intro(02:07) What is personality? (08:23) Differences between Myers-Briggs and The Big Five (12:48) The wide differences in human personalities (17:29) Sex differences in neuroticism (19:27) Ev psych and sex differences in personality (25:17) Describing The Big Five personality traits (30:41) The Big Five and political beliefs (36:28) How to reduce neuroticism (41:20) Why does therapy help to reduce neuroticism? (46:34) Why does knowledge of human personality matter?
Episode 83: Warren Farrell - The Boy Crisis
Jul 21 2023
Episode 83: Warren Farrell - The Boy Crisis
Warren Farrell is a political scientist, a former board member of the National Organization for Women (NOW), and the author of many books, including "The Boy Crisis," the focus of this conversation. During our conversation, Warren talks about his time at NOW, second wave and modern feminism, the gender pay gap, what he learned when he stopped lecturing at and started listening to men, and the historic and current role of men in societyHe also talks about the reasons for the decline in male sperm count over the past two generations, the role of men in war, why fathers are so important and what children learn from them, and contemporary male and female college graduation rates.Warren notes during the interview that perhaps the most important line in his book is: "The Boy Crises resides where dads do not reside." He is one of the world's experts on this topic, and is at his best during this interview. It was a privilege to host it.------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Show notesRate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Intro (01:58) "I am sorry for being a man" (06:11) Warren's schism with NOW over the importance of dads (14:29) How we know dads matter (20:40) What Warren learned from listening to men (25:54) Why the sacrifices of men are largely unknown (29:58) Quotes from "The Boy Crisis" (32:13) Sperm count in modern men (42:18) What dads provide to their kids (49:10) Why sperm count is declining (52:18) The future and the proper role of men
Episode 82: Ed Hagen - The Evolutionary Basis of Mental Illness
Jul 7 2023
Episode 82: Ed Hagen - The Evolutionary Basis of Mental Illness
Ed Hagen is a professor of anthropology at Washington State University Vancouver. During our conversation, Ed talks about the evolutionary reasons for two of humanity's most common mental illnesses: anxiety and depression. He also talks about psychic pain, the correlation between grip strength and depression, hypervigilance and anxiety, differences in suicide rates between men and women, and suicide attempts being an "honest signal of need."Ed has noted that depression is commonly "intertwined with social conflict" and is a legitimate indication of a threat to one's biological fitness. Millions suffer every day from a poor or an intolerable psychological state. Ed's work and his original ideas are a potential corrective to the common view that psychological ill-health is due primarily to a "chemical imbalance." He encourages us to look deeper, to take a more comprehensive look, and to use an evolutionary lens to begin to try to both understand and help alleviate unnecessary suffering.------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Show notesRate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Intro(02:13) Ed's interest in evolutionary psychology(06:45) An evolutionary-based view of mental health(08:08) Biological fitness and mental health(11:35) What is anxiety and depression?(14:31) Why does depression cause its specific symptoms?(21:22) Anxiety and depression as a corrective mechanism(24:19) What is anxiety and why does it exist?(28:00) Advice for people with depression or anxiety(38:57) Advice for young people with mental illness(43:07) Suicide attempts as an "honest signal of need"(44:01) The relationship between grip strength and depression(52:13) The importance of relationships