In this episode we plunge into the web of lies men construct to shroud their patterns of abusive behavior with expert and author Lundy Bancroft. Exploring façades of helplessness as a guise for manipulation, the twisting of narratives that paint victims as aggressors, and the chilling ease with which abusive men deceive authorities and loved ones are all part of our unflinching look into domestic violence tactics as well as the lives of the women who endure it, often in silence and isolation.The conversation also addresses the systemic issues plaguing the fight against domestic abuse. We reveal the startling imbalance in how society responds to male and female victims of abuse, dissecting the gendered nuances of power dynamics that often tip the scales in favor of men. Bancroft offers insights into the damaging effects of sexual mistreatment within these dynamics, the disturbing incidence of post-separation violence, and the formidable hurdles women face in custody battles. This episode serves as a reminder that despite progress in women's rights, the struggle against ingrained misogyny and the societal structures that enable it is relentless.Ending on a note of empowerment, this episode calls upon the spirit of activism that birthed the battered women's movement and insists on its necessity today. We discuss the urgent need for activism that ignites change and challenges the status quo, alongside the critical support structures like Genesis Women's Shelter, which offers help and hope for victims of domestic violence. This episode is a rallying cry for every listener to take action, to raise their voice in protest and support, and ensure that the flames of progress continue to burn bright against the darkness of abuse and inequality.

Courtney Messina, Director of Clinical Services for Greenhouse Inpatient & Outpatient Treatment Centers in Grand Prairie and Arlington, Texas, and a Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor and Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor, joins us to explore the invisible threads that bind the scourge of addiction to the turmoil of domestic violence. In this episode, we peel back the layers of these intertwined crises through the powerful narrative of "Amy," whose experience with substance dependency and an abusive relationship illuminates the harsh realities faced by victims of domestic violence. We navigate the often misunderstood concept of addiction as a complex brain disorder, dismantling the myth that it is a choice, and delve into how this malady exacerbates the already volatile nature of abusive relationships.Ms. Messina, who has worked in the field of behavioral health since 2014, articulates the nuanced approach required to address the consequences of these co-occurring disorders. Our dialogue traverses from the statistical to the personal, examining the multifaceted forms of abuse and the vicious cycle it creates, often leading victims to seek solace in substances. This episode offers an insightful journey into the heart of these social issues and the transformative power of empathy and targeted support.

Discover the insidious nature of gender bias with Dr. Erin Kelley, as we navigate the intricacies of its impact on society and the legal system. Dr. Kelley, a Professor at Dallas College with a keen eye on the intersection of literature and law, joins us to unravel the threads of cultural stereotypes and prejudices that contribute to systemic gender inequality and violence. From the wage gap to underrepresentation in leadership and STEM, we scrutinize the societal norms that have historically placed women at a disadvantage and continue to do so today.Venture into the legal labyrinth of consent and sexual violence prosecution as we confront the deep-rooted rape myths that still pervade our courts. The episode unearths the chilling realities survivors face—from the hurdles in reporting to the daunting journey of prosecution. We unpack the "he said, she said" narrative that often skews the scales of justice and examine the detrimental effects of misconceptions about a victim's behavior on the outcome of rape cases. By highlighting the trauma responses, such as the 'freeze' reaction, our discussion advocates for a legal system that better understands the complexities of consent and trauma.Lastly, we turn our focus to the powerful role of media and literature in shaping public perception and the urgent need for authentic representation. Dr. Kelley spotlights crucial works like "13 Reasons Why" and Joyce Carol Oates' "Rape: A Love Story," which push boundaries by addressing the freeze response and victim-blaming. By engaging with this episode, you become part of the movement to end the cycle of violence and bias against women, one story and one verdict at a time.

When life throws you curveballs, how do you catch them—or better yet, throw them right back? Today's guest, Twyla M. Marks, gives us a masterclass in resilience and forgiveness that's as powerful as it is poignant. Her journey from a childhood steeped in abandonment to overcoming the shackles of an abusive marriage is nothing short of heroic. Twyla's candid sharing of her early life experiences, including teenage rebellion and a pregnancy that would change her life's trajectory, offers an intimate glimpse into the struggles that have shaped her indomitable spirit.Twyla's story doesn't stop at personal hardship; it's also about navigating the treacherous waters of post-separation abuse and how she fought to maintain a sense of normalcy for her children amid stalking and intimidation. Blended family dynamics, a concept many can relate to, is another layer of Twyla's life that she fearlessly delves into. Her resolve to ensure the safety and stability of her family in the face of daunting legal battles is both a testament to her character and a beacon of hope for listeners facing similar trials.In a powerful discourse on the necessity of forgiveness, Twyla sheds light on the profound shifts that can occur within a family when reconciliation and cooperation replace bitterness and conflict. She also emphasizes how crucial maintaining a strong parent-child bond is during tumultuous times. Her advocacy serves as a reminder that while the journey to healing is arduous, the support and resources to navigate this path are accessible, and solidarity in the fight against domestic abuse is paramount. Join us as we share Twyla M. Marks' remarkable story of survival, forgiveness, and unyielding love for her family.

When the unimaginable strikes, leaving scars that are both seen and unseen, how does one navigate the path to healing and advocacy? Stephanie Bond, a survivor of extreme domestic violence, steps forward to share an intimate glimpse into her life-altering experience and her commitment to empowering others. Through her eyes, you'll be offered a raw and unfiltered look into the complexities of mental health within abusive relationships and the resilience it takes to emerge from the darkness with purpose.As Stephanie recounts the traumatic day that saw her estranged husband turn a gun on her and himself, the conversation illuminates the stark realities of firearm accessibility and law enforcement's response to those in mental health crises. The discussion will explore not only the physical pain endured but the emotional labyrinth navigated by survivors. It's a tale of survival that questions the systems in place and the broader implications of gun ownership among those struggling with mental illness, especially in circumstances marred by domestic violence.Beyond the retelling of Stephanie's personal journey, the episode also casts a light on the often-overlooked facets of abuse, such as financial control and societal judgment. Listeners will be motivated to recognize the signs of abuse and the critical importance of support networks in offering sanctuary to those in crisis. As we delve into the collective effort required to support women and children escaping violence and the role every one of us can play, listeners will be reminded of the strength found in shared stories and the collective call to action they inspire.

The blockbuster film "Barbie" is a journey through fantasy to our flawed reality revealing profound truths about gender discrimination and societal norms. In this episode, our guests Jan Langbein, Bianca Davis, and Amy Jones uncover the layers of patriarchy skilfully woven into the narrative of the 2023 film. We traverse from Barbie's idyllic origins to her encounter with the harsh realities faced by women, discussing how these fictional events mirror the gender biases that permeate our professional and personal lives.Our conversation isn't just about the silver screen. We shed light on the shadowy corners of gender inequality, addressing how ambition in women is often misconstrued while their male counterparts are praised for similar traits. The episode navigates through Barbie's confrontation with corporate giants, reflecting the pressures to conform, and extends the discussion to real situations faced by survivors of domestic violence, human trafficking, and sexual assault. We mingle our expertise with experiences, unpacking how systemic issues fortify traditional gender roles and the importance of sisterhood in overcoming them.The dialogue takes a turn as we dissect the complexities of the 'Tradwife' movement, the objectification of women, and the crucial fight for survivors of sexual assault within the legal labyrinth.  Our guests bring a wealth of knowledge and personal insights to this episode, offering a powerful message that leaves you not only enlightened but empowered to be part of the change for gender equality.

Mark Wynn, former lieutenant and survivor of domestic violence, recounts his transformative journey from enduring the grip of abuse to becoming a beacon for others.  Our conversation offers an unfiltered glimpse into the lasting effects of childhood trauma, the critical role of law enforcement training in handling domestic violence, and the pivotal support systems that uplift survivors. Mark's narrative is a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit.Navigating the tangled web of child abuse, policing, and Child Protective Services, this episode uncovers the strategies offenders use to sow fear and the challenges children face in trusting the police, especially within diverse communities. We discuss the delicate art of interviewing young victims and the importance of comprehensive police reports, shedding light on coordination between law enforcement and CPS. The discussion extends to the fraught landscape of family courts, where the details officers capture can tip the scales in custody and protective order cases, and the introduction of risk assessment tools that aim to safeguard those most vulnerable during times of upheaval.As we conclude, our focus shifts to the systemic barriers victims encounter, from economic hurdles in civil courts to a shortage of expert witnesses. Mark emphasizes how the personal experiences of law enforcement officers with domestic violence can profoundly shape their response to incidents. We advocate for community support in providing transitional housing and resources for Spanish-speaking victims, uniting in the belief that healing and hope for survivors begin with us all. Join us in this profound exploration that not only seeks to understand the intricacies of domestic violence but also aims to strengthen the very fabric of support for those impacted.

Author, professor, and New York Times op-ed contributing writer, Rachel Louise Snyder, joins us for a raw and honest discussion about child abuse, domestic violence, and grief as laid bare in her gripping memoir, "Women We Buried, Women We Burned." To quote the author, "Cancer took my mother. But religion would take my life." The odyssey begins as an 8-year-old Rachel learns her mother has died. From there, her childhood unravels, and the subsequent decades include chaotic experiences of upheaval, abuse, and forced religiosity all leading to both the author's undoing and her ultimate journey of self-discovery.In this candid look at the author's own experiences, we explore both the darkness that abuse casts, and the light of understanding and transformation that can emerge from such depths. Our conversation weaves through the entanglement of love and abuse, reflecting on the complexities that many survivors face — the dichotomy of endearing and harmful qualities within relationships that often go unseen by the public eye. Rachel also takes us through the harrowing systemic challenges that victims face, from law enforcement's response to the judicial system's handling of their plight. Rachel's story is not just one of sorrow but also of evolution and rediscovery. From her early days as a rebellious teen to her transformative experiences in the cultural melting pot of Cambodia, her journey is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. As an advocate for domestic violence survivors, she illuminates the importance of community support and the essential services provided by organizations like Genesis Women's Shelter & Support. By telling the story of her life, Rachel Louise Snyder offers a dialogue where hope persists amidst adversity, and where the sharing of one's narrative can be both an act of courage and a beacon for change.

This episode offers a riveting journey into the thorny issue of self-defense claims made by victims of domestic violence. Listeners will leave with a fresh perspective and deeper understanding of the complexities involved in these cases. Kelsey McKay, a seasoned attorney and the founder of Respond Against Violence, brings her expertise to our discussion. As a former prosecutor, she shares invaluable insights on how the criminal legal system responds to self-defense claims, with often visible injury being the sole determining factor in assault cases.We dissect the challenging issue of self-defense laws, particularly their failure to account for the fear and isolation that survivors of abuse experience. A chilling real-life case illustrates how systemic biases and lack of proper training can lead to grave injustices, especially for women of color. We also point out the strategic methods abusers use to isolate victims from utilizing the criminal system, and the uphill battle victims face when advocating for themselves. As we wrap up, we highlight the urgent need for change in societal understanding and language concerning self-defense laws. This is to prevent women from being incarcerated for defending themselves against their abusers, through educating investigators and prosecutors on the dynamics of abuse.

Genesis Women's Shelter & Support is often called upon to provide expert witness testimony in domestic violence cases. To better understand the role of the expert witness and how they can help facilitate an understanding of domestic violence for legal teams, judges, and jurors, Ruth Guerreiro, LCSW and Genesis' Chief Clinical Officer, and Jordyn Lawson, LPC and Genesis' Chief Residential Officer, join the conversation in an episode that is both educational and enlightening. In this episode, our guests explain how they navigate the labyrinth of legal proceedings, illuminating the cornerstones of domestic violence dynamics and the significant role the expert witness plays in providing context and education to the courtroom. They also prepare us for the complexities of this process - from the questions attorneys may pose to the delicate task of determining which testimony bears relevance. We also dive into the impacts of domestic violence on children and the disheartening reasons why victims often refrain from participating in court hearings. We dig into the contrasting roles of fact and expert witnesses, learn how they can support victims by providing crucial insights to the court, and how their consultation can guide attorneys through the murky waters of domestic violence cases. We expose the tactics used by defendants and the strategies that can empower victims to have their voices heard in the courtroom. Lastly, we delve into how the expert testimony of our guests is used by juries, how it influences the sentencing hearing, and how it can help untangle the manipulative narratives spun by defense attorneys. Join us, as we unravel the intricacies of domestic violence cases and understand the true context and dynamics of abuse with expert insight that brings to light the importance of educating the court on the often misunderstood dynamics of domestic violence.

What does it mean to raise boys in a world that faces an ongoing battle with toxic masculinity? How do societal pressures, gendered expectations, and the culture of sports affect our sons and shape their perception of manhood? This week I had the privilege of sitting down with my colleague and fellow boy mom, Jordyn Lawson, to share experiences and insights into raising boys in the 21st century. Together we explore the challenges of toxic masculinity, delving into its manifestations in sports and personal relationships, the pressures of societal expectations, and its correlation to domestic violence. We also opened up about the realities of raising boys in a society that still clings tightly to traditional gender roles - a conversation that led us to explore the concept of toxic femininity and its far-reaching impacts. We agreed that parents have an essential role in guiding their sons, teaching them to regulate their emotions, and promoting emotional intelligence – a key element towards dismantling the harmful ideologies behind toxic masculinity.In the end, we settled on the power of education as a primary tool for countering toxic masculinity. We underlined the importance of safe spaces for boys and the need to challenge stereotypes that limit their understanding of what it means to be a man. By sharing our personal experiences and strategies, we found a fresh perspective on raising confident, empathetic, and well-rounded boys. This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to raise their sons in a society that is slowly but surely redefining masculinity.

What if the very institution meant to protect you, weaponizes and silences you instead? This disturbing question lies at the heart of our conversation with renowned Professor Emeritus, social worker, and author Evan Stark. Evan's staggering and transformative research exposes the damaging impact of coercive control on children, and how this abuse often stems from a terroristic pattern within households.Evan elaborates on the terrifying power play in which children become pawns, mirroring the tyranny suffered by women. His research unveils the chilling reality that domestic violence provides the most prevalent context for child abuse. We navigate through the insidious control mechanisms, the resulting intimidation, and the profound long-term effects on the victims. Evan also reveals how child welfare systems and children-serving systems were forced to adapt in response to his ground-breaking findings.Towards the end, we steer the conversation towards the crippling influence of coercive control on the legal system. Evan shares cases where children were manipulated and forced into silence, and the abuser often remained unseen by both child welfare experts and medical professionals. Yet there is hope. We highlight examples of countries - such as Scotland that are working to create secure environments for women and children around the world including naming coercive control as a crime.

Genesis CEO Jan Langbein and Chief Clinical Officer Ruth Guerreiro recently visited Honduras to collaborate on a new domestic violence shelter in the city of Siguatepeque. They join the conversation to reveal the alarming prevalence of femicide and domestic violence in Latin America, the urgent need for communication systems that not only affirm domestic violence as illegal, but also ensure secure channels for reporting such atrocities, and the future of services for women who experience abuse.In this episode we experience the progress of a Latin American community rallying together to combat domestic violence. You will hear the awe-inspiring story of a local police officer who, against all odds, manages to connect a young victim with a social services program, the heartening efforts of both the Mayor and First Lady of Siguatepeque who are leading the charge to raise funds for the new shelter Casa Rosa, and how Genesis is collaborating with the city to bring a robust program of safety, shelter and support to this growing community. We also explore the unique challenges of building a domestic violence agency in Latin America, from transportation and security hurdles to the potential of volunteers spearheading a transport system.

Have you ever felt silenced? This is how many survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault feel as they traverse the criminal justice system. With Kelsey McKay, founder of Respond Against Violence and former prosecutor, we delve into the power of allocutions and how they can transform the narrative of survivors of violent crime, giving them a powerful platform to share their truth.We navigate the labyrinth of the criminal legal system, peeling away layers to understand its complexities. Kelsey, with her rich experience and vast knowledge, guides us through this journey, talking about the importance of victim impact statements and allocutions in ensuring justice. By shifting the focus to the survivor, we explore how language can be wielded to realign the narrative around the victim, creating a more empowered and inclusive framework.Our conversation also touches upon the role of programs like the Uncooperative website and Do No Harm campaign in uplifting survivor's voices, and how allocutions can be used to advocate for social justice.  This is more than just a conversation; it’s a call to action, an invitation to change the narrative and empower survivors of violence.

Ever wonder how domestic violence affects the emotional bonds crucial to our relationships? Join us as we broach this vital topic with Ruth Guerreiro, Chief Clinical Officer of Genesis Women's Shelter and Support. Together, we'll uncover the influence of domestic violence on the four types of attachment styles - secure, avoidant, ambivalent, and disorganized. Hear as Ruth unravels the devious tactics often employed by abusive partners to disrupt a mother's ability to form a secure attachment with her child.Our conversation takes us into the world of abusive fathers and the harmful tactics they employ that have a potential to leave lasting scars on their children. We shed light on the damaging messages of disrespect, inequality, and aggression these fathers subtly communicate to their children, while also undermining the mother's ability to parent effectively. This exploration promises to broaden your understanding of the psychological warfare often deployed by men in domestic violence situations.To culminate, we emphasize the power of therapy in mending the mother-child bond post-trauma and reveal the integral role that bilingual services at Genesis Women's Shelter play in supporting families impacted by domestic violence. Learn how therapies like EMDR and play therapy, bolstered by effective praise, physical proximity, and positive physical touch, can boost a child's confidence and foster a sense of secure attachment. This episode isn't simply an intellectual exercise, it's a journey into the human psyche and the resilience of the mother-child bond in the face of adversity.

What happens when we confront the complex aftermath of violence from domestic abuse, incest or sexual assault? We address this question with Dr. Judith Herman, a notable figure in the field of trauma studies. She opens the conversation revealing her early encounters with survivors from the 1970s and how her team developed a unique approach of gathering stories and writing books to help survivors reclaim their voices. Venturing deeper into the labyrinth of trauma, we sift through the profound consequences of childhood abuse on mental and physical health, with a special emphasis on Dr. Herman's breakthrough work, "Trauma and Recovery". The discussion evolves as she introduces the four stages of recovery from trauma and her latest book, "Truth and Repair: How Trauma Survivors Envision Justice", offering valuable insights into safety, remembrance and mourning, and the power of envisioning an equitable future for trauma survivors.Closing the conversation, we step beyond the legal system and explore the need for community validation for survivors of gender-based violence. We navigate the 'tripod approach' by Professor Diane Rosenfeld, Northwestern's peer educator program, and the societal pressure encapsulated in the 'Man Box'. This episode wraps up with a powerful discussion on forgiveness, rehabilitation, and the critical role of supporting survivors.

According to Linda Thai, "the role of therapy is to help you to get to know yourself and to experience a sense of dignity." Our conversation dives into therapeutic solutions that are trauma sensitive, trauma informed, and trauma driven as we explore the root causes of trauma, empowerment through somatic strategies and "me-search". Linda also guides us through a brief yet grounding orienting exercise at the end of the conversation that can be practiced anywhere and anytime.Linda Thai describes herself as a somatic therapist and trauma therapist, free-lance educator, public speaker and storyteller, group facilitator, collaborator, infiltrator, cross-pollinator, community-builder, agent of change, former child refugee, happy human being. her expertise includes the fields of meditation, yoga, and self-enquiry, addictions and behavioral health, childhood adversity and resiliency, colonization, intergenerational refugee trauma and social justice, grief, loss and reclamation. More about Linda Thai-INSPIRATION: For the purpose of empowered self-awareness. To liberate the joy and peace at the essence of our beings. To ignite a passion and excitement for life, to connect us back to ourselves and to each other.LAND ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: Linda would like to acknowledge that she lives and works on the unceded lands of the Dené Athabascan people of the Middle Tanana Valley. She has been nourished by the healing forces of the Alaskan wilderness and exposed to the ancestral wisdom of the custodians of these lands. Shifting out of an extractive economic and philosophical relationship with the natural world has opened her up to living and operating in mutuality with all forms of life, including herself. Quyana, Tsenaa-‘ii, Gunalchéesh, Dog in dihn’, Háw’aa, DOIKshin, Ana masee’, Masi-cho, Anna-Basse.

Kristin Daley, a communications/development strategist specializing in sexual violence, survivor-centric crisis response, and justice system reform, and Kenny Smith, law enforcement training director and retired law enforcement professional, join the conversation to explore the language we use to discuss sexual violence and how that discourse can help or hurt individuals who experience sexual violence. Together we review the terms sexual assault, rape, survivor, victim, alleged and more to understand how these terms are used and to establish some best practices for talking about crimes of sexual violence. Kristin Daley is the Executive Director of New Blue, a nationwide police reform incubator changing police culture through policies and practices that prioritize empathy and equity. Previously, Ms. Daley spent 16 years as Director of Development & Communications for Law Enforcement Action Partnership, police experts advocating for evidence-based reform; she now serves on LEAP’s Board of Directors. A nationally credentialed victim advocate, Ms. Daley is a longtime crisis response counselor and liaison for RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline. She also consults privately on trauma-informed best practices and communications strategy with organizations and individual survivors challenging the justice system. In 2022, Ms. Daley was appointed to the Peace Corps Sexual Assault Advisory Council, a panel of national subject matter experts in the field of sexual violence prevention and response. She is Chair of the 2023 Council. Kenny Smith has served in several law enforcement capacities for 21 years, as a Corrections Officer, Patrolman, Patrol Supervisor, Detective, and Jail Administrator, before retiring in 2018. Mr. Smith is a certified Crime Scene Technician and a Professional Law Enforcement Instructor and served on the Board of Directors for the Arkansas Coalition Against Sexual Assault before coming to work for ACASA full-time. He began his work with ACASA in 2018 as the Law Enforcement Training Director and the state Council on Sexual Assault Response (CoSAR) Program Director. Through his work, he travels to law enforcement agencies across the state, providing free CLEST-certified training to officers on how to best respond to and investigate sexual assault cases in a victim-centered and trauma-informed manner. In addition, he also travels the state developing and overseeing CoSAR programs.

The Georgia Commission on Family Violence (GCFV) conducts qualitative and quantitative research on domestic violence-related fatalities to prevent, intervene, and respond to family violence. In this episode, we explore the GCFV's data behind domestic violence-related murder-suicides as well as new interventions aimed to reduce and eliminate family violence such as the "FLAG" program (Firearm Lethality Alert Georgia) and "Restorative Retelling." GCFV experts Carolynn Brooks, Family Violence Fatality Review Project Coordinator and Kylee Elliott, Support for Survivors of Murder-Suicide Project Coordinator, join the conversation. This episode was recorded on location at the 2023 CCAW and discusses murder-suicide and other forms of violence.

Intimate partner violence often begets abuse of animals. Very often survivors who plan to leave their abusive partners will not do so without their pets yet are unclear of the options for bringing them into shelter. Dr. Bryna Donnelly, Vice President of Pet Programs for Greater Good Charities, and Rebecca Stewart Executive Director of the Domestic Abuse Family Shelter in Southeast Mississippi help navigate the options for sheltering people and pets together and how domestic violence organizations can build and pay for a pet-friendly shelter at their location. This episode was recorded on location at the 2023 CCAW and discusses animal abuse, cruelty to animals, domestic violence and child abuse.