Apr 4 2023
The Mirror Principle
In today's episode of Embracing the Gray, Vic and Kels talk about the Mirror Principle. Kels shares a bit of a personal moment that recently happened where her own self-defeating narratives created unnecessary drama for her and her new partner in hopes that you can relate it to some of your own narratives and prevent similar experiences in your life.
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QUOTES
One implication of the mirror principle is this: When we set our calendars, we define who we will be. The activities that populate each hour of our schedules are the sum and substance of how we’ll experience ourselves that day.
"In leadership, the first person we must examine is ourselves. That’s the Mirror Principle. If our self-perception is distorted, then our attempts to influence others will be misguided or even manipulative.
The first person I must know is myself; this brings self-awareness. Human nature seems to endow people with the ability to size up everybody in the world but themselves! When steering a team, as when driving a car, neglecting to check your blind spots can cause you to wreck.
The first person I must get along with is myself. This leads to a healthy self-image. If we think negatively of ourselves, we will seek validation from others—extracting value from them. On the contrary, if we have a positive view of ourselves, we will be secure enough to add value to the people around us.
The first person to cause me problems is myself. Admitting this truth yields self-honesty. You never win when you play the blame game; you only whine. And complainers drag down the morale of everyone around them.
The first person I must change is myself. This empowering attitude paves the way to self-improvement. “Everyone thinks of changing the world,” said Leo Tolstoy, “but no one thinks of changing himself.”
SUMMARY:
If I see value in myself I’ll add value to myself. If I don’t see value in myself I won’t add value to me. But, if I don’t see value in me, the high probability is that I won’t see value in you.
What happens is this, the law of the mirror basically says this:
If your self-worth isn’t what it needs to be, what it could be and what it should be, then you are not only short changing yourself in reaching your potential, but you are short changing everybody around you in helping them reach their potential also.
BOOKS WE LOVE
First Things First by Stephen Covey
Atomic Habits by James Clear
Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole & Elyse Resch
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