Getting Real About Sex Addiction

Graeme Daniels

A discussion forum about matters relating to sex addiction from the point of view of psychoanalysis

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Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (25): Shame

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (25): Shame

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, psychoanalytic psychotherapist and lead-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, contemplates the pros and cons of the sex addiction label from the point of view of the would-be addict and the impact partner, and then speaks of the intertwining of guilt and shame, in which false guilt, as perpetuated by sex addiction treatment models, often obscure attention to underlying shame

Episodes

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (25): Shame

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (25): Shame

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, psychoanalytic psychotherapist and lead-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, contemplates the pros and cons of the sex addiction label from the point of view of the would-be addict and the impact partner, and then speaks of the intertwining of guilt and shame, in which false guilt, as perpetuated by sex addiction treatment models, often obscure attention to underlying shame

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (24): female sex addiction/women's infidelity (part two)

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (24): female sex addiction/women's infidelity (part two)

Part two of this discussion, Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, offers some case illustrative descriptions culled from his work with female sex addicts/problem sexual behaviors--compares/contrasts with profiles exhibited by male patients--again referencing the writing of Michelle Langley

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (23): female sex addiction/women's infidelity

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (23): female sex addiction/women's infidelity

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses female sex addiction and women's infidelity, profiling the provocative insights of Michelle Langley, author of Women's Infidelity: Living in Limbo, and highlighting that book's compatibility with psychoanalytic theory

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (22): Short term treatment versus the in-depth long term

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (22): Short term treatment versus the in-depth long term

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, revisits the chestnut meta debate that exists between proponents of short term treatment options versus those, like Graeme, who advocate for a longer term commitment to in-depth treatment--as "triggered", by marketing tactics used by treatment programs.

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (21): sexual integrity

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (21): sexual integrity

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, welcomes therapist Eddie Capparucci as a guest to the podcast to discuss sex addiction and/or sexual compulsivity, plus the matter of how psychotherapy imparts, facilitates exploration of sexual mores, or imposes a society's values upon those who seek mental health treatment.

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (20): instinct and personality, nature and nurture

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (20): instinct and personality, nature and nurture

Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, riffs on ideas of instinct, personality development, Freudian theory, the rigidity of defenses, and relates these ideas to what happens when people seek help for their problems yet impulses still emerge

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (19): That child abuse reporting law is going to trial!

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (19): That child abuse reporting law is going to trial!

Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, invites therapist and sex addiction expert Don Mathews back to the podcast to discuss a controversial, now nine year old California law about reporting use of underage porn that has moved through supreme and appellate courts and is now about to get its due in an LA superior courtroom. Don is an expert witness in the trial.

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (18): Psychodynamics, sexual compulsivity and positive psychology

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (18): Psychodynamics, sexual compulsivity and positive psychology

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, welcomes therapist Andrew Suuskind as a guest to discuss sexual compulsivity, the pathologizing of sex, psychodynamic underpinnings to problem sexual behavior, plus the fostering of emotional resilience and the embracing of imperfection.

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (17): The splits of Madonna-Whore and Saint-Brute

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (17): The splits of Madonna-Whore and Saint-Brute

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses again the psychic defense of splitting in the context of one famously understood "split", Freud's Madonna Whore complex, and a lesser known female-to-male splitting analogy, the Saint-Brute.

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (16): All (or most) of what I have to say about SA

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (16): All (or most) of what I have to say about SA

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, improvises a version of his recent webinar for the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH), about all things to do with psychoanalysis and sex addiction

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (15): the illusion of action

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (15): the illusion of action

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, contemplates the presence, the pedigree, the value (or not) of the phrase "actions speak louder than words" in modern culture, and what psychoanalysis, the business world, and the law, have to say, in actions and words, about this principle.

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (14): addiction as pleasure-seeking, shame avoidance

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (14): addiction as pleasure-seeking, shame avoidance

Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses addiction from a psychoanalytic and 12-step perspective, speaking of the importance of consciousness as a precursor to honesty; the problem that addicts often don't know what they're feeling because their defenses are so embedded.

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (13): on individual treatment versus couples therapy

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (13): on individual treatment versus couples therapy

In this episode, Graeme Daniels draws from a vignette from the book Getting Real About Sex Addiction, to discuss the relative merits of individual therapy or psychoanalysis versus couples therapy in the context of sex addiction or infidelity recovery treatment.

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (12): Three therapists talk about sex addiction treatment

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (12): Three therapists talk about sex addiction treatment

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, welcomes to the podcast two first time guests, therapists Jen Shelby and John Kravitz, to discuss their affiliation, work with sex addicts and impacted partners of sex addiction.

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (11): a review of "US"

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (11): a review of "US"

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, reviews Terrence Real's 2022 book, "US", observing its relational life therapy model, which utilizes ideas grounded in psychoanalytic theory as well as modern neurobiology. Daniels further comments upon the book's application to couples therapy.

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (10): The Heart of Addiction (a review)

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (10): The Heart of Addiction (a review)

Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, reviews the book The Heart of Addiction by Lance Dodes, M.D., and focuses upon its thesis: that "true" addictions have a psychological underpinning that entails unconscious defenses against infantile states of rage and helplessness

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (9): addiction treatment as a team approach

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (9): addiction treatment as a team approach

The pros and cons of working in a team: Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses the history/trend of treating addictions with a so-called team approach, highlighting the reasons that collaborative models are popular and worthwhile, exposing what is problematic pertaining to patient-clinician confidentiality

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (8): Exposure, shame, and Axolotls

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (8): Exposure, shame, and Axolotls

In this episode, Graeme Daniels and Joe Farley, authors of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, tell anecdotes about feeling exposed, shameful, under pressure, yet working through tough moments with a sense of dignity and resilience. The questions are: how do people cope with their most primitive insecurities? Who are we in such moments, and what can we summon from inside, our reptilian brains or our higher selves?

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (7): A case of impacted partner treatment revisited

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (7): A case of impacted partner treatment revisited

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, revisits intersectional issues, socio-political undercurrents that influence/infiltrate the therapeutic space of sex addiction treatment, and then applies these ideas to the case of an impacted partner previously spoken of in this series and profiled more comprehensively in the book.

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (6): What we have to say about SA (part two)

Getting Real About Sex Addiction S3 (6): What we have to say about SA (part two)

Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, follows-up on matters of guilt, shame, the phenomena of repetition compulsion, defenses like displacement, with a discourse on how these ideas relate to female sex addiction and the treatment of impacted or betrayed partners.