You'll Never Believe Me But...

WKNC 88.1 | NC State Student Radio

A WKNC storytelling podcast where each guest tells one real and one fake story to the station's resident storytelling fanatic, Cutter. read less
ComedyComedy

Episodes

Mad Stallions and Gator Gates
Jul 12 2021
Mad Stallions and Gator Gates
You’ll Never Believe Me But… is a lighthearted storytelling podcast about what’s real, what’s fake, and what’s funny. Guests come on and tell two stories, one real one fake, and laugh and joke about it with host Cutter as they enjoy storytelling while he tries to figure out which story is the real one.EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:Provided by Otter.aiCutter  0:00  Good morning, good afternoon and good evening everyone. My name is Cutter though you may know me as three beers in a coat on air on HD one and welcome to this episode of, You'll never believe me, But.You'll never believe me, but is a storytelling podcast being produced here at WKNC about lying to me. Every episode I have a guest on and they tell me two stories, one real and one fake, and I have to decide which is real between them. For those of you that are new here, or for those of you that need a quick refresher, I'm gonna run down the three rules we have here, before we get into today's episode. Rule number one, your story should not do significant damage to anyone else or their character. We're not trying to be outwardly mean to anyone other than ourselves. Rule number two, if someone else is featured in your story, you must either have their permission to say their name or use a fake name for them. You agreed to come on the show and tell these stories but unless they agreed to have these stories told just use a fake name. And rule number three, and this is the easiest one all story should start with. You'll never believe me but and then a brief synopsis before starting the story just so we all know what we're getting into. And is a nice little nod to the show's title. So with all that housekeeping stuff out of the way, let's go ahead and get into today's episode. Today's guest is Stacy, a family friend of mine, someone I've known since I was days old and an all around killer lady Stacy, how are you doing today?Stacy  1:24  Well cutter I'm great. And I appreciate the very kind of intro there my friend.Cutter  1:28  Well, it's all true. You are killer. And you have known me since I was days old. Stacy  1:33  Yeah, basically, yes. About three or four days probably.Cutter  1:36  Amazing. Because that's when one of my closest friends your son, one of my closest friends we're four days apart. And that's kind of how we got to know each other him and I and then through that we've just been very close family friends ever since. Stacy  1:49  Absolutely. Cutter  1:50  So we've been on vacations we've gone places we've done a lot. And I have gotten to see truly the depth and breadth of your character, which is why I'm so excited to have you on the show Stacy  1:58  Or scared. Cutter  1:58  Yes, I think both is totally fair. Because I know you pretty well, I'd conjecture and Stacy  2:05  I would say so. Cutter  2:06  I knew a lot of my guests that came on but not as well as I think I know you just because of the quantity of time we spent together which is why I'm excited for you to tell me your stories. Stacy  2:15  Well now we're gonna see if you really do know me or if you just think you know me.Cutter  2:19  That is a great point. Now your stories have a bit of an interesting backstory to them.Stacy  2:24  Yeah.Cutter  2:25  It would have been I I want to say two weeks ago.Stacy  2:28  Two weeks ago, Saturday. Cutter  2:29  You, you came over your family came over to hang out with my family. We're pals like that. We're chums and you came in limping. You've got and this is still true, you've got a cast on your forearm that goes up and over your wrist. Stacy  2:31  Yeah.Cutter  2:36  and your, is it your right leg? Stacy  2:46  Oh, it's my right leg.Cutter  2:47  and your right leg, I I would I think best describe it as a purple tie dye disaster.Stacy  2:54  I think you're kind Cutter  2:55  I think well okay, how would you describe it? Stacy  2:58  Oh my god, it's it looks like an alien has landed on my leg and exploded and purple and bruised gruesomeness it's it's it's very bad. Cutter  3:07  It is gnarly.Stacy  3:08  It, it's bad.Cutter  3:09  And so, and so you came in with this major injury that you would already told the rest of my family about because I had missed an event of some kind. Because I was out of town. And you came in and you were very secretive about it. Stacy  3:21  I was and quite honestly, I'm impressed that no one told you what happened to me. So we have we have definitely kept it under wraps on purpose. So I'm very excited to see what happens today.Cutter  3:32  Yes, I'm very excited. And so yes, this is the main focus of this episode is your crazy injury that has been I mean, it's been what three weeks since you injured yourself?Stacy  3:44  It's been two weeks and I would say that this this big glob on my leg which is officially you know, I know this is medical info but I'm clearly given the clearance to share. It's a hematoma. I don't know if you are familiar with what a hematoma is.Cutter  3:57  Sounds familiar. Stacy  3:58  So essentially, you know, something has happened and now there's hemorrhaging going on. We've got you know, not hemorrhaging that means I'm gonna die, thankfully, and I'm been clear that I'm not throwing any clots, but there's some serious, serious hemorrhaging that has occurred, which is, you know, resulted in about, I don't know, a six inch wide and four inch three to four inch tall blob that has grown on my leg Cutter  4:24  From here and we're sitting probably like six, seven feet apart. Stacy  4:28  Yeah. Cutter  4:28  From here it looks like you have a half a tennis ball taped to the top of your thigh.Stacy  4:33  Well yeah. Which is a little better because I would have called it at least probably grapefruit to cantaloupe size so we're where you know you're doing better things are getting better.Cutter  4:42  Oh my goodness. It's a shame that that is better though I'm glad you are getting better. Hey, if you're hemorrhaging on the inside, that's where the blood's supposed to be.Stacy  4:49  I know, I did learn though that you know, as as one medical professional told me throughout this, you know, your body's designed, I guess unless you hit an artery. Cutter  4:59  Sure. Stacy  4:59  Not to bleed out.Cutter  5:01  yeah, yeah, it's crazy. Stacy  5:02  So uh, there you go. Cutter  5:03  Yeah, tactical redundancy. That's amazing. I'm very excited again. Yes, my family has kept this secret, secret from me. And I haven't asked because I didn't want to ruin the sanctity of this experience getting to hear these stories for the first time. But I think honestly, they would have been more angry at me for even trying to get them to tell me honestly. Stacy  5:22  Okay, good. They're good people. I'll keep them. Cutter  5:23  They are. I'm glad I don't have a choice. I'm glad that you feel that way. Well, you know how the show ...