“Now just to make sure my AI knows my most intimate preferences so that it can date other people’s AI and find my perfect match… ‘If you don’t have a dump truck ass don’t apply.’ That should do it!” This week on the podcast, Theo and Will talk about Will’s embarrassing wader situation, the problem with glass ketchup bottles, what movies would be the funniest to be remade within the Cars Universe, Doritos collaboration with Mountain Dew to create a new Baja Fiery Mango soda based chip flavor, the story of the crossdressing spy Shi Pei Pu who embroiled a French diplomat in a complex espionage plot, Bumble’s new AI concierge service that will allow your AI to go on dates with other people’s AI concierges to figure out compatibility.

Japan has a mascot for everything. Like literally, everything. A Jacuzzi faucet mascot? Check. One for the municipal train system? Check. A colon mascot to get your excited for your colonoscopy? You better believe that’s a check. This week on the podcast Theo and Will discuss a wide range of topics, starting with Marvel movies and their ongoing listlessness. Will brings up the question of different media that should have clicked, but for some reason just doesn’t. He’s also got an investigation into mascot culture in Japan. Theo has a review of Pancake breakfast ramen and runs Will through the recent Drake versus Kendrick rap beef. Email us at segmentcitypodcast@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

“Time to get ready for my shower! I have my towel, my luffa, and of course, my lemon! I can’t wait to be sparkling clean (with a little pulp)! WAIT! Where’s my lemon?! Hopefully this lime will be an ok substitute…” This week on the podcast, the boys talk about strange TV commercials, what is the future of fast food, the nasty Japanese restaurant that shapes rice balls with young women’s armpits (presumably for perverts), Will tells us how to (maybe?) clean yourself with only a lemon instead of traditional soap, the kidnapping of Charlie Chaplin’s corpse by two idiot mechanics, and Will reads us the descriptions of the “Big Burly Romance Series” by Cassi Hart all based on different manly professions such as cowboy, oil rig worker, and blacksmith. Email us at segmentcitypodcast@gmail.com

Birds. You know them. You love them. But have you ever thought about trying to catch them all? Some say if you do, you are granted the title of Ultimate Bird Nerd for all eternity. This week on the podcast Theo has a breakdown of Everything Bagel with Cream Cheese Ramen, and Will has an amazing tale of a group of extreme birders who attempt to see as many birds in a day as they can. From meticulously planning their route over the year all the way through the 24 hour sprint of a day, we’ll bring you through the whole story! Email us at segmentcitypodcast@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Can a man get limbs blown off, had his eye taken out, and escape a POW camp well into his old age? Only if you are the most daredevil soldier who ever lived! Join us this week and you to can realize what a baby you really are! This week on the podcast, Theo and Will talk about “Boondock’s Saints”, a write in stupid thought about headlights being car’s eyes, Pringle’s collaboration with Crocs including a new flavor and a Pringle’s holster, how Chilean TV integrated a beer ad for Cerveza Cristal into Star Wars, and how Sir Adrian Carton de Wiart (aka “The Unkillable Soldier”) threw himself into not one, not two, but THREE wars during his lifetime and somehow survived them all, and opened water bottles cause itching? Email us at segmentcitypodcast@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

You ever go to the circus and see a man swallow a knife? And then of course you think to yourself — that looks easy, I bet I could do that. If so, please see a mental health professional, I cannot stress this enough you in no way should just try swallowing knives in your free time. If our podcast has done nothing else, please let this message reach someone. This week on the podcast Will and Theo discuss the hilarity of the canned vegetable lobby, and whether pizza needs even more cheese. Will educates Theo on the infamous Legends Football League and its various iterations. Theo has some Florida Man reports, and Will rounds it out with another edition of Amazon Erotica. Email us at segmentcitypodcast@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

“Dr. Eggman, for the crime of turning animals into robots, this Court sentences you to do a series of diabetes Public Service Announcements!” “But… I don’t have diabetes!” “Then maybe you should see someone because if anyone has diabetes, it’s you…” This week on the podcast, the boys talk about Anime Boston, how romantic comedy movies fit into the “uncanny valley”, IHop’s collaboration with Sonic the Hedgehog featuring some Sonic themed breakfast treats, the mysterious case of a Russian radio station that is putting out disturbingly strange broadcasts that are thought to be used for spies or as a nuclear holocaust killswitch, Theo introduces us to “The Enhanced Games” which is a proposed athletic league that allows people to use whatever performance enhancing drugs they want in order to break world records, and a tale of a Wingstop food poisoning. Email us at segmentcitypodcast@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Nectar of the Gods. Modern Mummification. The taste of Nothing. How? Why? Stop asking so many questions and come into our pyramid. This week on the podcast Theo and Will discuss the latest, and worst, ideas from Wendy’s, a story of a gator visiting a ballpark, and in the latter half of the episode we stumble across what might be one of the most unhinged websites we’ve ever come across.  Email us at segmentcitypodcast@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

…And honestly, in this day and age it’s hard to find people doing good scientific work! Well, I say good, but really it's more on the evil side. And by evil I mean stupid. Very stupid. This week on the podcast, Will and Theo talk about a Russian man who taught Spanish at Will’s highschool, read up on what month people are most like to die, genetic engineering has gone awry as “Personal Pineapples” aka small pineapples that you can fit in your hand, social media advocating eating in the bathroom, the American debut of the KFC “Chizza” (which is pizza toppings on top of fried chicken cause what else could it be.), a Montreal man gets a letter from the Quebec government saying he was dead, and an 80 year old Montana man pleads guilty to making giant hybrid sheep for the most absurd reason imaginable.   Email us at segmentcitypodcast@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

New! From the idiots who bring you Segment City comes a new podcast that will change your life for the better. Have you been out on the beach scouring the rocks for bits of metal trash? Is your family pleading with you, “please father, just come inside, there’s a hurricane can’t you see?” Well we’re here to help! This week on the podcast Theo and will contemplate new Peeps flavors, KFC’s latest crimes against humanity, and Will takes a trip to the Taxidermy Shop. The show rounds out with some advice on how to meet your biggest idol so all you Swifties stay tuned til the end! Email us at segmentcitypodcast@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

You ever just need to be alone with your thoughts with your soup, uninterrupted by children? We completely get it. You're with friends here. This week on the show Theo and Will discuss different monodiets and the perils that may come with them. Will takes us through the history of the Bermuda Triangle, and Theo unveils new rules for 2024!

It's hard being a Goblin. Nobody respects you. Everyone looks down on you (literally). And their always stealing my trinkets! But one day they'll see! I'll be a singer and make my Goblin noises where they will be appreciated! This week on the podcast, the boys talk about Theo’s tussle with an extra spicy chicken sandwich, Will’s Yankee Swap debacle featuring a maligned bag of frozen Ikea meatballs, the Instagram account “Mugshawties”, Theo laments the death of Fruitstripe gum with their disappearing flavor and temporary tattoos, Will takes us to the Bermuda Triangle with a “Conspiracy Query” about possible reasons why the Bermuda Triangle is more dangerous than other places, and Theo goes over some news stories including tales of a woman stealing a Krispy Kreme donut truck (despite not eating any of the donuts), a woman is court ordered to work at Chipotle after assaulting an employee for bad service, and a zamboni driver gets fired for peeing in a drain. And Will reads a r/Confession about a person creeping around their home acting like a goblin.

“Ah, I see you have found my tree top castle tree house. Though you will find that you were a fool to come in here with all that tasty blood of yours- Is that an acorn? Even though I’m a vampire now, I’m still a squirrel. How about we trade the acorn for letting you live. Deal?” This week on the podcast, Will and Theo talk about what constitutes a Christmas stocking stuffer, news stories of car sized tumbleweeds, neon green canals in Venice, and bursting wine tanks flooding Portuguese streets. Also this episode, Doritos is collabing to create a Doritos Nacho Cheese Spirits, Will goes over some Mount Rushmore conspiracy theories, and Theo takes us back to the “Taxidermy Shoppe” to show off a squirrel senorita, a squirrel vampire pervert, and an out of proportion doll with a bunny’s head, and a conductor’s rigor leads to his death. Email us at segmentcitypodcast@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

In this week’s episode we have a deep dive on the like of Rocky Aoki, a top contender for title of Most Interesting Man in the World. Founder of Benihana, speed boat racer, balloon pilot, and so many other monikers that are too many to list. We also run you through a WikiHow on how to be annoying, tune in to see if you might unwittingly qualify. Email us at segmentcitypodcast@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

“... It’s a tough competition this year at ‘The World’s Most Condescending Person’ competition! Despite France winning the majority of years, it might be- No, it looks like a French man won it again! And a physicist no less! Remind me to send him some congratulatory cigarettes…” This week on the podcast, the boys talk about how media keeps repeating itself, a Tumblr user’s list of “Phrases you can use in any situation”, Theo goes over his top movies, video games, shows, and books for the year, Will takes us through some Space news with a mysterious question mark formation caught on telescope and a prank photo from a French physicist of a “star” that was actually a zoomed in picture of chorizo, and a story of a UK 19 year old that lives like he is in the 1940s. Email us at segmentcitypodcast@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

It’s a holiday roundup! This week’s podcast has entirely Christmas and holiday themed segments, just in time for you to sit around the fire with your family and all tune in to Segment City. Theo has a report of a Taco Bell holiday party that went completely off the rails, and a collection of festive Florida Man stories. Will has a bundle of Santa crime news stories, and an edition of Amazon Erotica that’s wrapped up just for you ;) Email us at segmentcitypodcast@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

“EVERYBODY STAND BACK! We have a rouge otter on the loose! His many crimes are too horrific to describe, but I will try. For 324 acts of smashing clams against his belly, 420 acts of squeaking adorably, stealing 3 surfboards, and for 1 act of negligent homicide, we have to throw him in jail. But if he squeaks for a 421st time then maybe we’ll put him on parole- Oh and he just did so he has to be on parole now.” This week on the podcast, Theo and Will talk about how different the Polar Express movie differs from the book, Denny’s new drive through option, Post Malone buying a $2,000,000 Magic the Gathering card, the search for an outlaw otter, a dog named Scooter who won the “World’s Ugliest Dog” Competition, two stories Thanksgiving tales from “r/ AmItheAsshole featuring an angry girlfriend who was pushed into the kitchen for Thanksgiving and a bratty son who ate all the meats and cheeses meant for Thanksgiving, and the tale of Dusty the Klepto kitty who stole a treasure trove of items from his neighborhood. Email us at segmentcitypodcast@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Hey, what’s the deal with airplanes? They’re like a room, but move diagonally? And they don’t serve oats. Listen I’m a horse, I really shouldn’t be here. This week on the podcast Will talks about his recent 10 year high-school reunion and all the wacky characters he reunited with there. He’s also got some thoughts on what makes a good pet, and some news stories covering a slew of topics from pizza restaurant robbery to the world’s oldest skydiver.  Theo’s got a recent report of a horse that got loose on a plane, as well as a Domino's pizza glitch that resulted in cheesy chaos. Email us at segmentcitypodcast@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Have you been getting bored of your life? Have you tired of being so hairless and not blue? Have you been looking for that push to finally get into the Furry community? Well, you’ve come to the right place! Get all your furry advice from two men who have never been furries nor have engaged in their community! This week on the podcast, the boys talk about their personal picks for best pie flavors and US regional pies, Cinemark’s insane ploy to get popcorn, Icees, and other theater snacks delivered to your door, Will explains “How To” be a Furry, and Theo brings us back to the 15th century to discuss “Flighting”, an old type of insult battle for the entertainment of nobles in court. Email us at segmentcitypodcast@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

You are in for a wild ride on this week’s show, the segments are coming fast out of left field! This week Will and Theo discuss haircuts and shaving, and Will introduces Theo (and the world) to Combat Juggling. Theo brings news on the world’s most expensive hotdog, and a segment on the world’s richest dog. Email us at segmentcitypodcast@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ