Heartbreak & Hope with Pat Barbarito

Host Pat Barbarito invites her own OBGYN – Dr. Matthew Iammatteo – to talk about the many paths to parenthood that modern medicine has made possible for women approaching or over the age of 40. From the physical realities to emotional hurdles, “old eggs” and new mindsets, this conversation explores: The importance of a compassionate partnership between a woman pursuing pregnancy and her OBGYN;How family (including other children), friends, and faith can impact this arduous journey;The hallmarks of a successful surrogacy;How IVF has evolved from general guesswork to scientific certainty;What is involved in the evaluation of a patient considering IVF;The difference between genetic and congenital abnormalities and how age impacts the likelihood of either occurring;Why women should consider “freezing” their eggs at an early age and what that process entails;The dark side of pursuing pregnancy at a later age, and more.BONUS: Learn how Dr. Iammatteo answers the question: "How old is too old to have a baby?"

Intimacy is defined as the process by which you gradually reveal everything about yourself. And, featured guest Duana Welch tells host Pat Barbarito, how you feel about that statement – joy, hope, fear, dread – is a clear indicator of your approach to relationship building or its sabotage. Learn more about the four attachment styles outlined by scientific research and discover how understanding both your own and your current/potential partner’s style could improve the quality and longevity of your romantic future.  Highlights include:How to identify your attachment style; How to change your current attachment style;The truth behind ‘love bombs’; Four Cs to identifying and choosing a romantic partner with a secure attachment style;The risks of secure/non-secure attachment style partnerships.;How to achieve happiness even with an anxious or avoidant attachment style;The benefits of ‘earned security’;Which attachment style has the best sex;How your attachment style affects your sex life;The value of emotion-focused therapy, and more.BONUS Take the Levine & Heller Adult Attachment Quiz to discover your own attachment style!

Experiencing abuse at the hands of a significant other can scar both body and soul and instill a deep sense of shame, but even the most shocked, hurt, and paralyzed survivors of domestic violence can leave these dangerous situations with the help of numerous available resources and allies. In this sensitive discussion, host Pat Barbarito and featured guest Matthew Troiano examine the process, challenges, and ultimate rewards of seeking justice after experiencing intimate partner violence. Highlights include understanding:What constitutes domestic violence – harassment, stalking, terroristic threats, emotional/financial control, assault, rape – and that it can be a single incident or a series; How the comfort of a relationship can empower an abuser, confuse the victim;What emergent relief is and how both temporary and final restraining orders are designed to protect;How sharing these private details with members of the legal system can be daunting AND key in rediscovering inner strength;Why ‘one-and-done’ might not always be the right resolution for every relationship;How lawyers handle victims who decide to return to their abusers, mid-process; and more.BONUS: Matthew shares several anecdotes from his own experience that illustrate how relationships between prosecutor and victims can go from complete distrust to nearly familial bonds when handled with empathy and transparency. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 800.799.7233 or visiting thehotline.org.In New Jersey? JBWS is ready to provide local support through their helpline 877.782.2873 or website jbws.org.

Host Pat Barbarito reflects on the first season of Heartbreak & Hope and offers insight into what she learned from her conversation with each guest. From eradicating the shame of divorce or the taboo of talking about money to embracing science and technology to improve the longevity of relationships, Pat reveals just how valuable open communication can be in helping everyone feel less alone – and more hopeful – while on their healing journey. Highlights include:How Pat now defines the ultimate relationship;Why Pat believes that preparing a “partnership roadmap” puts self-respect at the center of any romance without taking away from the magic;Pat’s admission that the “money talk” can be more difficult and more intimate than the “sex talk”, but avoiding financial disaster is worth the discomfort; andHow embracing a strategic approach to dating apps has made online dating less intimidating and more enjoyable for Pat (and so many others!).

Worried about facing the stern-faced, black-robed presiding judge who is overseeing the end of your marriage? Don’t be! Host Pat Barbarito welcomes The Honorable Michael Casale and The Honorable Marie Lihotz and leads the duo through a candid conversation with anecdotes that help demystify the judge’s role and responsibilities in divorce court. Highlights include: What to expect during a typical first day in divorce court; How your courtroom presence impacts the judge’s impression of the facts;Understanding emotional paralysis and disparity between the parties involved in the divorce;The scope of power judges wield in civil court and whether that includes jail time;Factoring in ‘fault’ and why it doesn’t really change the allocation of assets;How detailed orders are used to control unhelpful (but not quiiiiite illegal) behaviors that unnecessarily complicate divorce proceedings;How judges prioritize the many considerations of a divorce – child safety, parenting time, finances, assets, etc.;Knowing your alternative dispute resolution options and why those may provide a better result than a trial.BONUS: Features an in-depth discussion regarding the case for open dialogue with children about the reasons for the divorce and how to approach those conversations without demeaning the other party.NOTE: Additional resources for those divorcing in New Jersey can be found at Parent Link.

When her husband texted a ‘this isn’t working’ message while she was horseback riding in Spain, New York Times bestselling author Neale Godfrey thought he was referring to the toaster, not that divorce proceedings were underway. Her shock at learning the truth and her experience with the realities of ending a marriage late in life fuel this candid conversation with host (and her own divorce lawyer) Pat Barbarito. Highlights include: Evaluating why you want to end the marriage (when the choice is yours) and whether you should consider staying;Recruiting the right members of Team YOU to provide clarity, guidance, and support during the emotional confusion of divorce proceedings;Improving your knowledge of your family’s comprehensive financial picture, including all income, assets, debt, taxes, etc.;Preparing for the difficult but necessary conversations about money with your soon-to-be-former spouse, children, and others;Considerations when discussing long-term life insurance, pension plans, retirement accounts, and more.BONUS: Neale chats about how bright post-divorce life is and her number one piece of advice for becoming truly happy and financially secure after the legalities are final. Curious about your estimated social security benefits? Visit socialsecurity.gov to learn more.

Contemplating online dating, but not sure how to begin? Tried a few sites and found the whole process unnatural or unnerving? Feeling embarrassed about using dating apps to find a partner? Host Pat Barbarito encourages listeners to banish such unhelpful mindsets and invites recurring featured guest Dr. Duana Welch to reveal the science-backed secrets of successfully finding love online. Highlights include:How to mentally prepare yourself for online dating, including clarifying your own goals and profiling your perfect partner; Exactly what types of pictures your profile should include, how many to upload and in what order, and why picture perfect could backfire;Why Dr. Welch recommends against describing yourself in your online profile, and what she views as the best method to create the most compelling and truly personal ad;  How to evaluate responses, manage appropriate conversational volleys, and, ultimately, take the talk offline; A few respectfully worded ‘scripts’ to help you effectively reject mismatched suitors;“High status” strategies to avoid becoming pen pals with charming but non-committal candidates; The Sex Talk - the right time for physical intimacy, why the 'too soon' conundrum is biochemically driven, and so much more.BONUS: Stay tuned to the very end, where Pat offers insight into a few legal consequences all relationships should consider. READING MATERIAL: Love Factually, 10 Steps From I Wish to I Do

For many, talking finances before walking down the aisle is the epitome of anti-romanticism. But host Pat Barbarito and featured guest Gary Botwinick believe that having a clear understanding of your individual and combined assets – and how you both expect to manage those – at the beginning of a marriage can actually lay the groundwork for a wonderful future or shine a light on irreconcilable incompatibility before it becomes devastating heartbreak. Highlights include: Legal documents that everyone, regardless of marital status, should have e.g., will, living will, healthcare proxy, power of attorney, etc., and the importance of regularly reviewing the terms outlined;The legal rights and obligations one spouse owes another, e.g., forced inheritance, elective shares; Recommendations on when to have the prenuptial conversation with your potential partner and why it should cover more eventualities than a potential divorce; How preparing for divorce can and should impact financial decisions even before the proceedings are final;Why you shouldn’t depend on the terms in a will or a divorce decree to decide the distribution of your wealth;How cryptocurrencies and NFTs will challenge how assets are currently discovered; and so much more.BONUS: Gary’s #1 tip on how to avoid being surprised by your financial reality even if your spouse manages household income and investments.READING: Thoughts On Estate Planning When The Honeymoon Is Over And After The Divorce

If you were going on a vacation, would you simply get in your car with no GPS or maps and start driving? Both host Pat Barbarito and featured guest Dr. Duana Welch scoff at the very idea and question why society continues to embrace the myth that, when dating, blindly trusting to luck is the only way to find true love. Focused on the science of human attraction and connection, the duo reassure listeners that understanding the process of successful partnering will never ruin the thrill of falling in love. It just might enhance the journey!Listen and learn: how using science-backed strategies will improve your odds on finding love; how to ‘prime your brain’ to seek out candidates that match your desired traits list;the two non-negotiables for every relationship (no, really, no exceptions); whether it's truly necessary to having the same or a similar capacity and desire for love;the relevance of chemistry – either instant or eventual – when entering into a new relationship;how bad behaviors excused during courtship are usually the very behaviors that land couples in divorce court;the danger of assumptions and the power of difficult conversations; and so much more. This is the first in a series of conversations with Dr. Duana Welch, author of the original Love Factually: 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do, and its sequel, Love Factually for Single Parents. Dr. Welch is a relationship coach and is known for using social science to solve real-life relationship issues. She has served as a professor at universities in Florida, California, and Texas across 20 years, and has contributed to NPR, PBS, Psychology Today, and numerous other outlets, podcasts and videos. To learn more about Dr. Welch, please click here.

Host Pat Barbarito and featured guest, famed journalist and former client Carol Martin cover the magic of marriage, the devastation of divorce, and the life lessons learned from both in the inaugural episode of Heartbreak & Hope. Topics include: How the dream of marriage drives both men and women, but cultural conditioning prevents us from adequate planning the marriage, including its ending through death or divorce;The importance of personal responsibility in the beginning, duration, and ending of a relationship;How critical the knowledge of what you bring to and will not tolerate within a marriage can be to its longevity;Debunking some of the myths of marriage, including the illusion of security and the fear of a prenup;What to consider when looking for a divorce lawyer, and how the gender of the lawyer is less important than the lawyer's capacity for empathy;The place of financial analysis and legal opinion within the context of the emotional demise of a relationship; andWhy and when a good matrimonial lawyer should turn you down.Click here to learn more about Heartbreak & Hope with Pat Barbarito, including access to additional legal resources.

Divorce lawyer Pat Barbarito thought she knew all about complex relationships and the laws that govern them – until her own marriage of 17 years ended and she determined to get to the heart of love, marriage, and human connection. Her journey spanned the entire scope of relationships – from the science of attraction to the financial impact of separation, to old myths that society still touts as true to new laws that outline how to navigate both uniting and uncoupling. Heartbreak & Hope with Pat Barbarito offers insights, anecdotes, and guidance from a variety of experts and includes her own perspective on how best to thrive through any stage of relationship building.