A Non-Anxious Presence with Dr. William Stixrud

The Self-Driven Child

Oct 24 2023 • 29 mins

I'm joined by my co-host and co-author of The Self-Driven Child Dr. William Stixrud to discuss how to be a non-anxious presence for your kids when things feel stressful and scary in the world. As parents and educators, modeling calmness and confidence helps children feel braver.

Dr. Bill Stixrud is a clinical neuropsychologist and co-author of the bestselling books The Self-Driven Child and What Do You Say? His work focuses on supporting kids to build resilience, motivation, and handle anxiety.

Timeline Summary:

[00:39] - Introducing the idea of a "non-anxious presence" and why it's so valuable for kids.

[02:43] - Where Dr. Stixrud first came across this concept and what it means.

[04:37] - Children look to parents' reactions in stressful situations. Staying calm helps kids feel confident.

[06:16] - Accepting worst-case scenarios while remaining motivated to support your child.

[09:23] - Taking care of yourself models self-care and brings equilibrium.

[11:06] - The benefits of scheduling prescribed worry time.

[12:40] - Dr. Stixrud's 50-year meditation practice for managing stress.

[15:43] - Rats turning a wheel to activate the prefrontal cortex and reduce stress.

[18:31] - Validating children's difficult feelings while emphasizing their competence.

[21:02] - Making home a safe haven and modeling handling hard emotions.

[22:35] - The recipe for developing resilience: stress plus rest and recovery.

[24:09] - Being calm helps other people manage crises better.

[25:50] - Good sleep gives perspective on challenges.

[27:27] - Wishing for peace in the Middle East. Moving towards non-anxious presence.

Links & Resources:

· The Self-Driven Child by Bill Stixrud and Ned Johnson

· What Do You Say? by Bill Stixrud and Ned Johnson

If you found this episode helpful, please rate, follow, share, and review the Self Driven Podcast. Being a non-anxious presence helps kids handle hard things. Look for opportunities to model calmness, confidence, and coping. Wishing you peace in unsettled times.

If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com