In this episode, Justin and Tara discuss the importance of overcoming fear as a major obstacle in successful recovery from addiction and betrayal trauma.  The discussion delves into personal experiences with fear and the significance of surrendering to a higher power to gain serenity. They emphasize the need for replacing self-reliance with  God reliance, and choosing to place faith in God not in outcomes. It is in this practice that one can face any calamity and maintain serenity. Support the Show.SA Lifeline FoundationSAL 12 StepFind an SAL12Step MeetingDonateContact to ask questions or make commentsTranscripts

In this episode of the Pathway to Recovery podcast, host Tara McCausland talks with therapist Amanda Christensen about first steps to take immediately following discovery of sexual betrayal. Amanda shares her personal and professional experience, emphasizing the importance of safety, stabilization, and recovery steps for both the betrayed and betraying partners. For the betrayed, prioritizing self-care, seeking support, and gradually setting boundaries are essential. The betraying partner must commit to sobriety and close all doors to acting out. The episode discusses establishing a structured recovery plan, including therapeutic disclosure, and pausing before making  major life decisions.  Amanda and Tara stress the importance of time, patience, and support in healing process for both partners. Connect with Amanda at https://hopemft.comSupport the Show.SA Lifeline FoundationSAL 12 StepFind an SAL12Step MeetingDonateContact to ask questions or make commentsTranscripts

In this episode of the Pathway to Recovery podcast, Tara shares a recent presentation given by Dr. Donald L. Hilton Jr., a neurosurgeon and academic who has studied the effects of pornography on the brain. Hilton discusses how his background informs his understanding of addiction and recovery, offering insights into the nature of addictions (including sexual addiction), and the journey towards healing.  Insightful stories, analogies, and quotes are used to explore the complexities of addiction, the impact of addictive behaviors on others, and the concept of recovery as a transformative process. The discussion also covers techniques for building empathy for others, the significance of a safe, supportive environment for recovery, and the idea that recovery is a continual journey of self-improvement and understanding.Support the Show.SA Lifeline FoundationSAL 12 StepFind an SAL12Step MeetingDonateContact to ask questions or make commentsTranscripts

Hosts Tara McCausland and Justin B. delve into the crucial question of whether the God of one's understanding is strong enough to restore sanity in the context of recovery. They discuss the common doubts and struggles individuals in recovery face regarding their perception of a higher power, including feelings of abandonment and the question of God's existence and benevolence. Justin shares his personal journey of reevaluating his understanding of God five years into sobriety, inspired by the concept of 'firing' an old God and 'hiring' a new one to better support his recovery. They emphasize using the step two inventory exercise to identify and challenge preconceived notions of God influenced by authoritative figures in one's life. The hosts encourage listeners to reflect on their own beliefs and the impact these may have on their recovery process, underlining the need for a belief  in a trustworthy, loving, and powerful God in the path towards sanity and healing.Support the Show.SA Lifeline FoundationSAL 12 StepFind an SAL12Step MeetingDonateContact to ask questions or make commentsTranscripts

The podcast episode features Justin B. and guest Julie M. discussing her personal journey through betrayal and recovery due to her husband's sexual addiction. Julie shares her initial reluctance to seek help for herself, believing she wasn't the one with the problem. However, upon realizing her life was unmanageable, she turned to the SAL 12 Step program for support. Throughout their conversation, they touch on learning to let go of control, finding strength and hope in community, and the gradual process of learning to trust in others,  one's Higher Power, and oneself after betrayal.Check out our new Ambassador program here.Support the Show.SA Lifeline FoundationSAL 12 StepFind an SAL12Step MeetingDonateContact to ask questions or make commentsTranscripts

In this episode, hosts Tara McCausland and Justin B. explore the concepts of powerlessness and unmanageability in the context of sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. They discuss how admitting to these states can be challenging yet crucial for individuals dealing with addiction and for those who are in a relationship with them.  Justin shares his personal journey of denial and eventual acceptance of his powerlessness over addiction, highlighting the relief and empowerment that comes from surrendering to a higher power. The episode emphasizes the importance of admitting one's limitations to open the door to hope for recovery. The dialogue encourages listeners to 'experiment upon the word' by  admitting powerlessness and unmanageability to unlock a pathway to recovery.Support the Show.SA Lifeline FoundationSAL 12 StepFind an SAL12Step MeetingDonateContact to ask questions or make commentsTranscripts

In this episode, host Tara McCausland welcomes Dan Gray to discuss therapeutic disclosure in the healing process for individuals affected by sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Dan emphasizes the critical role of disclosure to help break the cycle of secrecy and shame surrounding addiction, highlighting the benefits of therapeutic disclosure for both the addict and their spouse. He explains the ideal circumstances for disclosure, including the involvement of therapists for both parties to prepare and guide them through the process. Dan outlines common pitfalls of informal disclosures and stresses the importance of professional assistance to navigate the complex feelings and consequences involved. Additionally, the conversation touches on the considerations for support people, such as family members and faith leaders, advising them to listen, support, and avoid pressuring the individuals involved. Dan concludes by offering hope and advocating for reaching out for support and assistance in facing these challenging situations.To connect with Dan, you can reach him via phone or email. Phone:801-891-6857Email: dgray@lifestarnetwork.orgSupport the Show.SA Lifeline FoundationSAL 12 StepFind an SAL12Step MeetingDonateContact to ask questions or make commentsTranscripts

In this episode, hosts Tara McCausland and Justin B.  explore a listener's question about the distinction between calling oneself a sexaholic versus a sex addict, and the implications of that decision. The discussion delves into the SAL definition of sobriety, highlighting the importance of personal values in determining what terms and definitions one chooses to embrace for successful recovery.  Justin shares a personal account of seeking loopholes in sobriety definitions and the dangers it posed to his recovery. Support the Show.SA Lifeline FoundationSAL 12 StepFind an SAL12Step MeetingDonateContact to ask questions or make commentsTranscripts

In this episode of the Pathway to Recovery podcast, host Justin B. speaks with SAL 12-Step member Bryan F.  about  'Step Zero,' a concept not formally recognized in the traditional 12 steps but crucial for initiating the journey towards true recovery.  Bryan emphasizes the importance of community building  as the foundational piece of Step 0 and taking responsibility for his recovery instead of relying on others like his spouse to lead out.  Bryan discusses how his recent relapse brought him back to SAL 12-Step and discusses how a separation from his wife is helping him see himself and his situation more clearly and drawing him closer to God. He also emphasizes the transformative power of getting a sponsor, being rigorously honest, and letting go of outcomes in the recovery process. Both Justin and Bryan stress the significance of continual effort in personal recovery and the benefits of being involved in 'parking lot' meetings for additional support and connection after formal meetings.Support the Show.SA Lifeline FoundationSAL 12 StepFind an SAL12Step MeetingDonateContact to ask questions or make commentsTranscripts

In this episode, hosts Tara McCausland and Justin B. discuss strategies for moving forward after the discovery of betrayal in relationships. The episode emphasizes the emotional turmoil that follows discovery, and the importance of establishing safety and stabilization. They share personal stories, including Justin's own missteps post-discovery and the journey towards healing. Tara and Justin advocate for setting boundaries, seeking support outside the marital relationship, and the necessity of finding a supportive community for both the betrayed and the betrayer. They stress that healing from addiction and betrayal is a shared but individual journey that requires patience, understanding, and outside help.Support the Show.SA Lifeline FoundationSAL 12 StepFind an SAL12Step MeetingDonateContact to ask questions or make commentsTranscripts

In this special episode, therapist Dorothy Maryon presents on communication after betrayal for the SAL 12-Step Men's Online Workshop.  Dorothy delves into the drama triangle—a concept explaining common unhealthy communication patterns that hinder relationship repair. She discusses strategies for breaking free from these patterns by understanding attachment and trauma. Additionally, Dorothy discusses the difference between 'drama' and 'trauma' and  highlights the importance of partners recognizing and responding to betrayal trauma sensitively and constructively to establish safety.Support the Show.SA Lifeline FoundationSAL 12 StepFind an SAL12Step MeetingDonateContact to ask questions or make commentsTranscripts

In this Q&A, hosts Tara and Justin provide some final commentary on the subject of setting boundaries and bottom lines in the recovery process.  They emphasize how boundaries and bottom lines can effectively help break the cycle of addiction and  suggest that the creation of these action plans should take place during moments of relative peace prior to the triggering event or emotion.  They also consider the benefit of having a sponsor to use as a sounding board  and accountability partner when establishing boundaries and bottom lines. They end with encouragement to those struggling to implement boundaries, assuring that persistence and time will slowly rewire the addicted brain and strengthen a person's ability to follow through and experience the healing fruits of this vital recovery practice.Support the Show.SA Lifeline FoundationSAL 12 StepFind an SAL12Step MeetingDonateContact to ask questions or make commentsTranscripts

In this episode, host Justin B.  speaks with SAL 12-Step members Karin and Jan to discuss the importance of setting healthy boundaries in recovery from betrayal trauma. Both Karin and Jan share their own experiences navigating relationships affected by betrayal. They describe setting boundaries as a way of protecting themselves and their own peace. They also discuss the necessity of maintaining personal commitment to recovery work, regardless of the outcome of their relationships. Support the Show.SA Lifeline FoundationSAL 12 StepFind an SAL12Step MeetingDonateContact to ask questions or make commentsTranscripts

In this Q&A episode, host Tara McCausland interviews Steven and Rhyll Croshaw,  co-founders of S.A.  Lifeline Foundation, who share their experiences and insights on setting boundaries and bottom lines in relationships and personal recovery. They discuss the differences between boundaries and bottom lines. Steven explains how he sets his 'bottom lines' - personal safeguards established to protect him from negative triggers. Rhyll talks about the importance of allowing individuals to set their own bottom lines and that boundaries give betrayed partners choice in responding to behaviors that cause them to feel unsafe.  They conclude with how a lifestyle of setting and holding boundaries and bottom lines has healed and enriched their marriage which has been affected by sexual betrayal and addiction.Find the Circles Model here.Support the Show.SA Lifeline FoundationSAL 12 StepFind an SAL12Step MeetingDonateContact to ask questions or make commentsTranscripts

In this episode, Tara McCausland talks with Dr. Sheri Keffer about the importance of setting and holding boundaries in relationships, particularly when dealing with sexual betrayal and addiction. Dr. Keffer shares her personal journey of recovery and emphasizes the need for betrayed partners to have courage and patience with themselves as they practice setting and holding boundaries. Questions addressed include:-What are boundaries and why are they so critical if you’ve been affected by sexual betrayal? How are they different from punishment? - What are some signs in my relationships that I need to create boundaries? -What are some of the biggest barriers in creating and holding effective boundaries? Dr. Sheri provides some specific examples of boundary setting and the benefit of holding boundaries to empower and create safety for betrayed partners. The discussion also covers themes of fear, abuse, the necessity of honesty to heal the relationship, and being brave enough to make tough but necessary decisions. Find Sheri at www.braveone.com and register for her March 2024  retreat here. Support the Show.SA Lifeline FoundationSAL 12 StepFind an SAL12Step MeetingDonateContact to ask questions or make commentsTranscripts

In this Q&A, hosts Tara and Justin briefly review the origins  of the 12 steps and touch on each one in preparation to take a deep dive into each of the steps in future episodes. They talk about the foundation, cornerstone, and keystone of the 12 steps, as well as the importance of first admitting powerlessness, turning to the God of your understanding, and making amends with others in the process of healing from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. They also touch on the benefits of working these steps and the significance of step 12, which involves carrying the message to others and practicing the principles in all aspects of life.Support the Show.SA Lifeline FoundationSAL 12 StepFind an SAL12Step MeetingDonateContact to ask questions or make commentsTranscripts

In this episode Justin B talks with Josh Walpole, a sex addict living in long-term recovery as well as a therapist who specializes in treating sexual addiction and betrayal trauma.  We discuss the importance and perhaps necessity of qualified therapy to help all involved prepare and brace for impact.  Both the impact of the consequences of the addiction and betrayal; as well as to prepare all parties for the impact for good that they can and will have in the world as they recover.  Listen in on this vulnerable and powerful conversation and get motivated to recover, heal, and impact the world for good.Find Josh Walpole at circlesofgrace.healthSupport the Show.SA Lifeline FoundationSAL 12 StepFind an SAL12Step MeetingDonateContact to ask questions or make commentsTranscripts

Hosts Tara and Justin explore how their New Year's resolutions have evolved in the context of recovery learning and application. They discuss the significance of incorporating a higher power into their goal-setting process. The conversation delves into the concept of surrendering personal will and allowing divine guidance to shape goals and actions. They emphasize the transformative power of embracing a one-day-at-a-time mindset and employing humility and openness in the pursuit of progress and growth. Ultimately, the hosts encourage listeners to start their goal-setting process by humbly asking God for His guidance, surrendering their own agendas and believing that it is in this practice that divine power to change one’s  heart and behavior will be given. Link to Men's Workshop coming soonSupport the Show.SA Lifeline FoundationSAL 12 StepFind an SAL12Step MeetingDonateContact to ask questions or make commentsTranscripts

Host Tara McCausland and therapist Dan Drake  discuss the importance of finding a qualified clinician that has specialized training in sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. They suggest questions/ways to vet a therapist to ensure best therapist-client fit. They explore  how having a therapist during the disclosure process is helpful, and paint a picture of what the therapeutic process might look like in the first year. They also touch on  the value of combining the 12-step program with therapy. Dan points out the importance of seeing qualified therapy as one part of a wider community of support available to those healing from sex addiction and betrayal trauma. Links for this episode:Dan's websiteDisclosure WorkbooksQuestions to Qualify Your TherapistSupport the Show.SA Lifeline FoundationSAL 12 StepFind an SAL12Step MeetingDonateContact to ask questions or make commentsTranscripts

In this episode, host Tara McCausland is joined by her assistant and friend, Jeni Brockbank. They discuss the concept of "surrender" as part of recovery, especially during challenging times such as the holidays.  A three-step surrender process "on your knees, on the phone, in a box" is also shared which includes prayer, reaching out to a trusted person for support, and writing out issues and setting them aside. The episode ends on a reminder about a blog post Jeni wrote on the topic found at www.salifeline.org and the announcement of a break for the podcast until January 2024. The essence of this discussion lies in finding a peaceful state amidst uncontrollable circumstances through the act of surrender.01:25 The Concept of Surrender03:50 Understanding Surrender through the Serenity Prayer05:55 The Three-Step Process of Surrender11:58 Recognizing the Need for Surrender13:05 The Impact of Practicing Surrender14:10 Surrender during the Holidays and ConclusionSupport the Show.SA Lifeline FoundationSAL 12 StepFind an SAL12Step MeetingDonateContact to ask questions or make commentsTranscripts