This week on the podcast, we're kicking off a mini 2-episode series on loving our bodies as a spiritual practice. Today, I dig into the problem of over-spiritualizing and how that does harm to ourselves and to others. Here's what we cover: 1. What is spiritual bypassing? 2. Does every problem have a spiritual solution? 3. How we spiritually bypass ourselves 4. How not to be a "friend of Job" 5. The antidote to spiritual bypassing 6. An example of spiritual bypassing from the Bible Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Related episodes: Episode 46: People Pleasing as Survival, How Jesus Regulated Emotions & the Problem With Toxic Positivity and Spiritual Bypassing with Aundi Kolber Want to receive free bonus content? Sign up for my free weekly email Thanks to our sponsors:     Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.   Order Dr. Amen's new book, Change Your Brain Every Day today! Hiya Health—Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You.   Music by Andy Luiten     Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Phew! Buckle up. Part 2 of my conversation with Aundi Kolber is out today, and it is absolute 🔥🔥🔥! We set aside the script and got real about our own experiences , including. . . 1. How people pleasing becomes a survival response 2. The shame we feel when we start to change 3. Alison's unexpected experience of comfort in a crisis 4. Jesus and the Nervous System 5. Did Jesus ever get "activated"? 6. The problem with toxic positivity & spiritual bypassing Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Check out Aundi Kolber's new book, Strong Like Water anywhere books are sold! Listen to Part 1 of our conversation: Episode 45 More about the Fawn Response: Episode 14 More about Trauma: Episode 4 Want to receive free bonus content? Sign up for my free weekly email Thanks to our sponsors:     Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.   Order Dr. Amen's new book, Change Your Brain Every Day today! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.  Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You.   Music by Andy Luiten     Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

What an honor to have my friend and fellow therapist, Aundi Kolber on the podcast today! You do not want to miss Part 1 of our two-part  conversation on her brand new book, Strong like Water: Finding the  Freedom, Safety, and Compassion to Move through Hard Things--and  Experience True Flourishing Aundi and I connected through social  media, and she has become the dearest real life friend. It was my  absolute honor to have this conversation with her about her personal  story and her new book, Strong Like Water, available for pre-order now.  Here's what we cover. . . 1. Why it's unsustainable to always be  the "strong one"   2. The brave decision that led to her to reimagine strength 3. 3 different types of strength and how to move between them 4. How to find safety when you need it the most 5. The difference between information and whole body transformation 6. How Aundi has come to understand strength now Preorder Strong Like Water here Want free bonus content? Sign up for my free weekly email Related Resources: Episode 15: CPTSD—The Pain of a Million Paper CutsEpisode 4: What Do I Need to Know About Trauma?How to Reclaim Your Inner Alert System Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any  of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice  nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and  products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Today's episode is all about anger. It's an emotion that can do great harm and one that also has great benefits.   Whether you thrive on anger or try your best to bury it, one thing's for sure—we all have to reckon with it. When you learn to work with your anger, it can become a powerful force for good in your life and in the lives of the people you love. Today, my friend Rowena Day (see Episode 31) returns to the podcast as we discuss how we've learned to create space for healthy anger in our lives. Here's what we cover:   1. Practical strategies to befriend and build trust with anger  2. The guilt and fear we feel about having anger  3. How to manage anger while parenting 4.  Examples of speaking on behalf of anger vs. from it 5. The problem with comparing our pain to the pain of others 6. Jesus and anger Be sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources. Thanks to our sponsors:     This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.  Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.   Visit Brooklinen.com today and use code BESTOFYOU to save. Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You.   Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here Music by Andy Luiten     Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Today, I am joined by my friend and co-author of Boundaries for Your Soul, Kimberly Miller, to discuss the almighty inner critic, how to get space from it, and how to bring this work into your relationships. Kim describes how she first encountered Internal Family Systems (IFS) and how combining it with Christian faith and practice changed her life. We discuss: 1. How Kim finally healed the ache in her heart 2. The most ubiquitous part of the soul 3. Why self-acceptance is better than self-condemnation 4. How to differentiate from painful emotions 5. A real-time exercise for quieting your inner critic 6. How this work translates into marriage Connect with Kimberly Miller at kimberlyjunemiller.com or on Insight Timer Be sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here. Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here.  Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here Other Episodes in this Series: Episode 39 Boundaries for Your Soul—How to Navigate Your Overwhelming Thoughts & FeelingsEpisode 40 5 Steps to Healing Painful Emotions & Why Parts of Us Get Stuck in the PastEpisode 41 Boundaries With Fear And Anxiety—How to Calm the Chaos Within and the Joy of Internal BoundariesEpisode 42 How to Honor Sadness, Set Boundaries with Loneliness, and What to Do When You Don't Have Time for this Work Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any   of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling   advice  nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The  content  and  products provided on this podcast are for informational  purposes only.

You need your pain. Grief makes you real, and disappointment can inspire creativity, change, and growth.  Sadness brings texture to the joys we experience. And yet, it's also not wise to let sadness take us over. In today's episode, we discuss how to set healthy boundaries with emotions like sadness and loneliness.  Here's what we cover: —The surprising benefits of sadness —3 types of grief —The science of tears and how they help us —What loneliness needs to heal —Childhood play and how it informs your adult dreams —What to do when you just don't have the time for the pain Be sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here.   Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Listen & subscribe to The Snack Show - https://tinyurl.com/TheSnackShowPodcast Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here.  Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here  Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any  of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling  advice  nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and  products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

So many of us live at war with ourselves. We hate our anxiety or battle with fear. We beat ourselves up or try to get rid of these parts of us. But this approach only makes things worse.  One of the most surprising ways to calm your anxiety is to stop waging war against it. In today's episode we discuss how to honor your fear and soothe your anxiety so that you are in charge of them, not the other way around. Here's what we cover: 1. A picture of healthy internal boundaries 2. How anxiety tries to protect us 3. The surprising truth about fear 4. How to establish healthy boundaries with both fear and anxiety  5. Fear and the Bible 6. 5 Steps to work through fear and anxiety Be sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here.    Thanks to our sponsors:     Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.   Hiya Health—Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.    Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here.   Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here    Music by Andy Luiten     Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik     While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling  advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Do you ever feel like a part of your soul is trapped in the past, holding you back from fully embracing the present and moving forward? Pain, fear, worry, or even bitterness can weigh heavy on our hearts and minds. This is a common experience for all of us at times. In today's episode, I guide you through a 5 step process of healing and growth. We'll discuss how to mend the parts of your soul that are causing you distress. Here's what we cover:   1. 5 Steps to healing painful emotions  2. How to overcome criticism, shame, and judgment  3. 4 Questions to grow in self-discovery  4. A surprising way to pray throughout the day  5. Why parts of us struggle to experience God's love Remember, this journey is a process, not a one-time event. With the right tools and guidance, you can learn to make peace with the parts of yourself. Be sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here. Thanks to our sponsors:     This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp-- Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month!     Organifi- Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.   Brooklinen-- Go to Brooklinen.com today and use code BESTOFYOU to save! Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here Music by Andy Luiten     Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling  advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

We all need a map to our soul. A way to understand the emotions, the wounds, the areas that feel broken.   That's what I love about the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of therapy—it provides a map that everybody can incorporate into their daily spiritual practice.   It's your guide to navigating overwhelming thoughts and feelings.   Today on the podcast, I'm walking you through this map, including the following:    1. A picture of wholeness   2.  The cost of not tending your inner life   3. A map of the parts of your soul   4. The 3 types of parts we all have   5. How Jesus relates to each part 6. What it means to have healthy boundaries inside your soul Get your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here. Thanks to our sponsors:   Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Hiya Health—Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Have questions you want me to address on our next podcast series? Leave them here. Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here Music by Andy Luiten   Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik   While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling  advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Today on the podcast, I'm talking with my friend and teaching pastor at Crossroads Church in Cincinnati, Alli Patterson, about her new book, How to Stay Standing.  In this powerful and practical episode, Alli shares her own story of hitting rock bottom when the scaffolding of her life collapsed, and how she rebuilt the foundation from the ground up. We discuss the following: 1. How tiny decisions can lead us toward devastating realities 2. What kept Alli from making eye contact for over 6 months 3. How shame sneaks in, even when you know you’ve been forgiven by God 4. The power of telling your story in safe places 5. 3 practical ways to build a strong foundation 6. How to take risks on God Thanks to our sponsors:   Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!   Hiya Health— Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Have questions you want me to address on our next podcast series? Leave them here. Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here Music by Andy Luiten   Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik   While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling  advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes  only.

Today, we're discussing how to detox from the false beliefs that keep us stuck in unhealthy patterns of relating to other people.  These hidden messages are sneaky. They might sound true in the moment, but they keep us from the healthy two-way relationships we need. Here's what we discuss: 1. Examples of toxic thinking 2. How it contaminates our relationships 3. An example of toxic thinking from the Bible 4. How to re-frame toxic thoughts Plus, I answer your questions: —How do I communicate with other people about what I'm going through?  —Can spiritual bypassing become a form of numbing? Thanks to our sponsor: Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Resources in this episode: For more on The 7 Red Flags of Friendship and Spiritual Bypassing, see Chapters 8 and 10 of The Best of You, by Dr. Alison CookEpisode 1: What is Narcissism Really?Episode 2: What Should I Know About Gaslighting?Episode 35: Change is Hard—Why We All Need to Detox From Unhealthy Dependencies From Time to TimeEpisode 36: How to Create Boundaries With Toxic Distractions, Numbing, & Unhealthy Coping Tactics Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling  advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes  only.

Today's episode is a real-time update on my own social media detox and how what started as a pause revealed a deeper need. I also lay out a practical framework for you to use in identifying the distractions, numbing, or unhealthy coping tactics in your life and how to replace them with the life-giving, soul-nourishing things you actually crave. We cover: 1. What my own detox revealed about my use of social media 2. A roadmap for how to pinpoint areas in your own life that might need a detox 3. Healthy ways to escape, soothe, or find comfort 4. What is the difference between a fast and a detox?  5. Can I find a healthy balance with certain "distractions"? Thanks to our sponsors:   Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Brooklinen—Visit Brooklinen.com today and use code BESTOFYOU to save. Hiya Health—Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Also in this series: Episode 35: Change is Hard—Why We All Need to Detox From Unhealthy Dependencies From Time to Time Please leave your questions about this topic here: Detox Question Doc For more on how to "Start with Yes" see Chapter 6 of The Best of You, by Dr. Alison Cook Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik   While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Today, we're digging into the hidden dependencies that creep in and keep us from the good things we need. The New Year tends to be a time of hope. We sense the possibility of change and are energized to set goals. But so often we move forward without first addressing the hidden dependencies that thwart our best efforts.  Here's what we discuss in today's episode: 1. Why we all need to “detox” from time to time 2. Examples of “good things” we can start to depend on in unhealthy ways  3. The role of pleasure, comfort, and healthy escape 4. The essential question to ask yourself before you consider introducing any change  5. What I learned by going offline for 6 weeks  Thanks to our sponsors:   This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp —Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month!   Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!   Sign up for The Best of You Book Club launching January 9th. Get 2 books free + free shipping when you buy 3.  Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

This New Year, I'm trying something new: I'm going to respond to your questions as we move through a series. Please leave your questions about this topic here: Detox Question Doc  Sign up for The Best of You Book Club here: www.dralisoncook.com/book Get 2 books free + free shipping when you buy 3 here: churchsource.com/products/the-best-of-you-5-book-bundle Check out Episode 3: What is self love and should I really love myself? for the MEPS Exercise referenced in this trailer.

So many of us have had negative experiences with power. It feels like something to fear, something bad, or something to avoid all together. But what if God wants us to step into our power in a healthy way? And what if understanding the power we have is at the core of building healthy connections with other people?   Today's episode is straight from my heart and from my own tenuous relationship with power. Here's what I cover:   1. What is power? 2. Why we think of power as bad 3. What healthy power looks like  4. The problems that arise when we do not claim our own power  5. Different ways power is abused 6. Why women in particular tend to avoid their own power  7. The paradigm-shattering example of power in the birth of Jesus Thanks to our sponsors:  Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!   Download Abide Sleep and Pray Meditation and text my promo code BESTOFYOU to 22433 today to get 25% off!   Sign up for my free weekly email here. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here    Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik  Learn more about 6 Painful Parenting Patterns and 7 Friendship Red Flags in The Best of You, by Dr. Alison Cook To learn more about the parts of your soul, check out my book with Kimberly Miller, Boundaries for Your Soul Power - "the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events." (Oxford Language Dictionaries). Podcast episodes Referenced: * Episode 1: What is Narcissism Really? * Episode 2: What should I know about gaslighting? * Boundaries & the Bible Podcast Series     * Episode 24:Boundaries, the Spectrum of Toxicity, & a Note About Evil     * Episode 25: Types of No Part 1: How to Say "No" in Healthy Relationships     * Episode 26: Types of No Part 2: How to Say "No" to Toxicity, the Real Meaning of Turn the Other Cheek & How to Form a Boundaries Committee Scriptures referenced: * Philippians 2:1-11 * Matthew 7:6 While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Were you subtly conditioned to please others at the expense of yourself? I loved talking with my friend and fellow therapist, Dr. Monique Gadson, on today's episode of the podcast. We met through an IG Live prayer session! She's since become the best sort of real-life friend—someone whose wisdom, empathy, and realness breathes life into weary souls. If you've struggled with depression or felt overlooked—even as you constantly show up for others—please lean in close. Dr. Monique is candid about her own journey through depression and how she lost herself in all the voices around her. In a powerful turn of events, Monique began to bring mental health directly to the center of the church, where she's practiced as a counselor for decades.  We cover so much in today's episode, including: 1. A key moment from childhood when she learned to please others 2. Monique’s experience as a PK 3. The burden of always attuning to others when you're disconnected from your own self 4. Monique’s early experience with depression and how she got help 5. Practical tips if you struggle with feeling “joy” at the holidays 6. Finding your own way as a parent amidst all of the voices 7. Monique's call to bring mental health *into* the church 8. Jesus and people pleasing 9. The power of friendship to bring hope in dark places Check out Dr. Monique's brand new book with Clarence Shuler, Finding Hope in A Dark Place: Facing Loneliness, Depression, and Anxiety with the Power of Grace. Connect with Dr. Monique at drmoniquesmithgadson.com or on Instagram @drmoniquesmithgadson If you are struggling with depression, please find resources for support on my website. Thanks to our sponsors:  Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!   This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp —Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month!   Download Abide Sleep and Pray Meditation and text my promo code BESTOFYOU to 22433 today to get 25% off!   Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold.   Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik  While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Are you that person who gets the job done, no matter the cost to yourself? You're productive, you bring the results. But sometimes you don't realize how exhausted you are—you just know there's still work to be done. If your inner task manager tends to take you (or someone you love) over, do not miss this episode with my friend and fellow therapist, Rebecca Ching. It's all about the blessing and the cost of being a highly productive, can-do person. Rebeca speaks candidly about managing childhood trauma through becoming extremely productive—a survival skill she took with her deep into her adult life. You'll also hear more about our friendship, including the opposite ways we operate in order to protect ourselves. 1. The moment Rebecca, as a young girl, walked out on a family therapy session 2. The story of being mugged together in our early 20’s 3. How to re-org your inner circle to protect the health of your family 4. The shaming voice that surfaces when you give yourself permission to down-shift 5. The problem with the word “busy” 6. Key questions to ask in order to simplify your life. 7. Surprising ways you can start to rest & play 8. How faith messages can intensify productivity in not-so helpful ways Connect with Rebecca at The Unburdened Leader Podcast or www.rebeccaching.com Take our 2-minute The Best of You Podcast Survey here Thanks to our sponsors:  Organifi —Go to Organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!   Check out the Raising Boys and Girls Podcast at raisingboysandgirls.com/podcast.  Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here Learn more about Fight / Flight / Freeze / Fawn Responses and The 7 P's of Managing Perceptions in my new book, The Best of You To learn more about Unburdening and the Internal Family Systems model, check out my book with Kimberly Miller, Boundaries for Your Soul Rebecca mentions The Daring Way certification program with Brené Brown Verses referenced: Mark 1:11 “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik  While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

You want to keep the peace at all costs. The problem is sometimes anger is warranted. Sometimes conflict is needed. What do you do when everything in you does not want to be the one to speak up? On today’s episode, I am joined by my dear friend Rowena Day. This is a powerful conversation for anyone who has struggled with conflict, avoided anger, or stayed quiet to get along. The second half of this episode is a WHOLE WORD. Listen in for deep wisdom on how to come out of that protective peacekeeping shell and start using your voice. Do not miss the end, when Rowena describes what she’s learning about finding her voice from parenting 4 young children. And check out the shownotes on my website where we have listed all of the amazing books, videos, music, and devotionals mentioned in this episode! Here’s what we touch on: 1. Why it’s normal to talk to yourself and how to pay attention to that inner dialogue  2. The power of attunement—and why interrupting and fixing each other doesn’t work  3. Why we learn to mute our voices  4. The power of generational messages 5. Why we push anger aside, especially as women  6. Why it’s important for peacekeepers to make friends with anger  7. Rowena’s experience of speaking up about toxic behavior she was witnessing  8. Blame shifting and scapegoating in faith communities  9. Embracing the wildness of your soul  10. The double bind culture puts women in when it comes to using your voice   11. What we can learn from our children Thanks to our sponsors:  Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!   Download Abide Sleep and Pray Meditation and text my promo code BESTOFYOU to 22433 today to get 25% off!   Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik  While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Today's episode of The Best of You Podcast is in honor of the Thanksgiving holiday, and the holiday season in general. If you're dealing with a mixture of emotions today, this episode is for you. Holidays are complicated, and in today’s episode, I walk you through how to honor what’s hard, even as you give thanks for what’s good.  We'll discuss:   1. Why it's normal for mixed emotions to show up on a holiday  2. How old ways of managing kick in—and leave us exhausted 3. How to take brave steps to honor vs. manage hard emotions  4. The myth of the perfect family, the perfect holiday, or the perfect experience of gratitude  5. What we can learn from 5 characters in my favorite children's book Thanks to our sponsors:  Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp —Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month! Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold.  Find a full transcript of the episode and a list of resources mentioned here. Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

OK, buckle up, today's conversation on The Best of You podcast goes deep, and we both get really honest about own struggles. I could have talked with Mary for hours about how to get off the treadmill of perfecting and proving your worth—and start claiming the life you actually want. You do not want to miss the end where we get into social media, the curse of comparison, and the approval chain from which no one is immune. We touch on so much in this episode including: 1. The hidden fears that drive us to perfect and prove our way into belonging 2. If we let go of working to earn the approval of others, then what?  3. The moment Mary discovered that chasing gold stars was not leading her to what she actually wanted 4. The pitfalls and perils of social media 5.  How to get out of comparison traps 6.  The voice in our heads that keeps us running in circles 7.  The real mark of emotional health (and it’s *not* never failing or never feeling hurt) 8. 3 questions to ask yourself as you stop chasing approval Connect with Mary at www.marymarantz.com/quiz Thanks to our sponsors:  Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Download Abide Sleep and Pray Meditation and text my promo code BESTOFYOU to 22433 today to get 25% off! Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold.  Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.