Send us a Text Message.If you ever wanted to know how Jim would react to winning the Radio Game--this episode is for you.  What started innocently as a second episode of the night turned into some pretty good laughs and a good time overall.  Mark really liked this one.Multi-media exposureGrab bag reduxOG Newt'sKiss ArmyMark's grooming tipsThe Miracle Worker--Helen ReddyShoutout Carlos in CTRIP TimberwolvesWomen's Hockey ChampsRadio Game--We have a winner!Famous cars from TV and cinemaShoutout Apple Valley Car ClinicJan Michael VincentWe need some new topics!The MN goodbye#Newt's#LonelyIsTheNightHere's the Dimitri Martin clip about sizes.  Starts at @2:00   The Only Clothes a Dog Should Wear - Demetri Martin - YouTubeTheAscertainers@gmail.com

Send us a Text Message.New concept tonight.  We're not pointing any fingers here, but everyone knew Mark and Jim would run out of topics sooner or later.  So tonight, we break out the Grab Bag.  Might be a worthy concept, but who's kidding who?Newt's shoutoutsMark and Jim leave fashionably lateThank goodness we're not politicalRIP Bill WaltonTeam America World Police recommendationTryptophanWe're on YouTubeNobody likes a fibberRear Window/Alfred Hitchcock Radio GamePhylum, Etymology, EpidemiologyThe Grab BagUnderappreciated TV ShowsShout out Apple Valley Car ClinicDesperately seeking topic ideas:  TheAscertainers@gmail.comThe Wayne's World 2 Clip:  https://youtu.be/I3Jk082xY7w?si=IAcS1hMSXJrEmzSO#Relax#Newts#GNR

Send us a Text Message.As the title indicates, we could use some of YOUR input on music topics.  I mean it's not like we talk about any topic for more than 1/4 of any episode (although there is some juicy Molly Hatchet and Jethro Tull stuff in the radio game today).Thanks for the theme music, feegee (@feegeeband)Mark shot a 50 and he's going to STATE!Errors & OmissionsWatch "The Wrecking Crew" on Netflix or whateverRemembering the FallenCan we drop the "ham" from hamburger?Newt's already didMark's long walk and driving tipsRadio GameGames that nobody's good atCircus peanut pillowChip bag lubricationPLEASE send us some topics!TheAscertainers@gmail.com#Newt's#SendHim#CircusPenis

Send us a Text Message.In the spirit of the new golf season, we had to use a Mulligan on this one.  We recorded on our usual night, and it turned out even less good/more bad than usual.  We added Jim's wife for support and got a much better result.Golf recapWe put the suck in seersuckerMark's Bird Island-Lake Lillian glory days storyPuckered has entered the chatOur video debutNewt's promo and how Mark beat the systemRadio game1970's cartoonsMoon landing?Betty or Wilma?Tom Brady RoastCartoon speed roundWe'd love to hear from you.  Send us your topic suggestions, bands you like or anything else to: TheAscertainers@gmail.com#NewtsBurgerLab#BarryWohlerTheLawFirmOfEnglandDanAndJohnFordColey

Send us a Text Message.Hey, we made it to 60--and still aren't very good.  What does say about you for listening?Newt's is HOPPINGNew car to MarkSize concernsMovie Reviews:  Clerks and Blade Runner 2049Radio GameBee  Gees DocumentaryEff Jimmy FallonTimberwolves--can they do it?Sprewell's financial prowessKentucky Derby updateErrors & Omissions2024 golf previewMusicians that golfThe Alice Cooper storyThere is a new "bless your heart/child please"TheAscertainers@gmail.com#Newts#Spree

Send us a Text Message.We take a slight left turn from almost being a music podcast to talk about the thing everyone in our demographic can relate to in some way--Wide World of Sports.Reunted and it feels so goodInternational listenersWedding recap--guy styleJim's cool friendsNew Newt's Featured Item--we're not mad....just disappointedBeyond burger shoutoutRadio GameRIP Dickey BettsHappy belated Charlie!80 Foot WaveWide World of SportsClaudine Longet Ski InvitationalEvil KnievelHarlem GloetrottersFlabby weight liftersF-1 racingHow to not bet the Derby (or IS it?)Apologies to Liv TylerFor those about to rock:  TheAscertainers@gmail.comAlso, there's a new "Send us a Text Message" feature above.  Try it out!#Newts#AscertainerBurgerWillHaveToWait#TheVaqueros#Pescatarianism

Send us a Text Message.May was rough on us schedule-wise.  We'll record a fresh episode on the night this one is released.  In other words, this episode was recorded a while back and has been aging in the barrel.  Careful--we don't know how strong it is.No matter how you spell it...Earth's gonna earthThe European ModelIman and other one-named celebritiesJoey Browner--we (Jim) promise not to swearJim's first F-bomb in front of his MomMark is the Cliff Clavin of Newt'sEgg MarkMuffinAaaand we're back to the Newt's promoMark's sitting on a revolutionary new ideaRadio GameMusic DocumentariesSpeaking of STD'sRamones 101Tell us what you think:  TheAscertainers@gmail.comFollow us on Facebook / Instagram / X    #Newt's#Cheers#EggMarkMuffin

Send us a Text Message.Due to scheduling conflicts with Mark and Jim's super busy social calendars (or something like that), we went to the episode pantry and pulled this one off the shelf.  It was this, or canned peaches.  Hey German listener...The Subaru of sandalsJim's milestone birthdayOld guy stuffUncle Milty's is biggerNewt's--The We'll See BurgerOur cool new stage propBedtimes and bunkbedsRadio Game--with assist from SarahJoey Browner and various Vikings talkNewt's promo--better late than neverWe'd love to hear from you (especially any unnamed/unknown German listeners).  Please email us at TheAscertainers@gmail.com#doit#AscertainersBurger#Whitesnake

Send us a Text Message.Ran into super listener Pat K at Newt's (nobody was hurt) and recruited him to come on a future episode.  He claims to have listened to every Ascertainers episode.  Be like Pat.The Rain the Park and Other ThingsSouth Park Randy ShoutoutCSI: Jim's BasementVikings Middle Linebacker or Porn Star?Still no Ascertainers Burger at Newt's (but ask for it anyway)Can't spell thrust without trustRIP Count FloydTwo-man dead poolErrors and OmissionsThe OutsidersThink Drink Disney gives a shoutoutSpinal Tap castRadio GameSibling BandsCaptain and Tennille bombshellHey Aquaduct!David Lee Roth CliffhangerTo claim your lottery winnings:  The Ascertainers@gmail.com#Newts#Cowsills#ThinkDrinkDisney

Send us a Text Message.For all you Viking's fans, this is also known as the Scott Studwell episode.  Not because we talk about him or anything--but he did wear #55.  I bet he also knows Joey Browner.In this episode, we finish up on 1976 by talking some music, TV shows and other useless banter.  Well, my broker is EF HuttonNewt's--yum--you should go thereSaving best stuff for Mark (phrasing)There's no Joe Rogan Burger either!The McDonald's mafiaRadio GameMark's bizarre headphones accident1976Sitcoms (bumper crop of them)Queen/Bohemian Rhapsody was a redneck's worst nightmareBoston, Neil Diamond, Hall and the other guy, Wings, Glen Campbell, Peter Frampton, Beatles (yes in 1976), Bay City Rollers, The Miracles, CW McCall, KissJr High school dance challengesIf you'd like to be connected to an Operator: TheAscertainers@gmail.com#Newts#Robot#HallandWhatshisname#Corduroys

Send us a Text Message.We're still trying to get our groove back (as if we ever had one).  Jim's wife, Kris makes her Ascertainers debut.What would you say you do here?Gramma's BoyIntroducing Mrs JimMancini's shoutoutGirl drinksFancy Ray sightingNewt's:  Featuring the All-New Ascertainers BurgerErrors & omissionsRadio Game1976 songs, pop culture, etcHair calendarYour vintage currency leaderSilver StreakHappy DaysThe poster/cell phone analogy the world needs to hearSCTVThe long MN goodbyeTo reserve the party room: The Ascertainers@gmail.com#Newt's#Mancini's#CliffRichard#BrandyAlexander

Send us a Text Message.The sophomore slump hit your boys hard.  We enter year two of this adventure by failing on our first two attempts at getting anything worth sharing with you, our loyal listeners--both of you.  What we ended up with should be an indicator of how very bad the first two were...Listener shout outsProspective guestsNewt's and how Mark pissed off our ONLY sponsorThe Ascertainer Burger--ask for it by nameMN transplants, Ken and ReneeFabricationRadio GameMTV nostalgiaDangerous childhood activitiesRemo Drive shoutoutHappy Anniversary!Complaints:  TheAscertainers@gmail.com#Newts#KickHisAssSeabass#HoldYou

Send us a Text Message.That couple is Mark and Jim.  During the recording with the Think Drink Disney fellas, Jim dissed Mark even more than normal.  Thanks to Mark being a podcasting pro and great editor, you probably didn't even know about it, but in this episode, you'll hear how we worked things out.  Extra Kleenex for this one.....Another new friend at Newt'sJim and Cory are both Rockets!The Ascertainer Burger?The faux pasDickslaughterThink Drink Disney ReduxInstagram comments gone wrongThat clapper thing in the moviesOne year anniversaryJim's celebrity laughRadio GameMark's fun facts about curling!MN nice is overrated#Newts#AscertainerBurger#Sorry

Send us a Text Message.One episode was not enough for legends Matt G and Lance from the Think Drink Disney podcast.  This time around is a bit less frenetic (look it up Ascertainers followers....  The TDD people probably knew that one already).  If you could use a laugh, give this one a listen.Reintroducing Think Drink Disney (TDD)What's with all the Kleenex?Micro ObliteratorCallousesNever pass up a chance to Chuck spinOur endless pursuit of Mr Joey BrownerThe Pink Floyd/Rush theory blown upDinnerSupperMotherMomAntAuntMatt's joke killsRadio GameNewt's promo: TDD-styleAce and Gary hit the townX-Golf shoutoutBricksworth Brewing Burnsville shoutoutA TDD primerThe Nightmare Before ChristmasThe opposite of David Lee RothGOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!For full recipe: theascertainers@gmail.com#Newts#ThinkDrinkDisney#CrunchyCarpet

Send us a Text Message.Big week--Matt G and Lance from the Think Drink Disney podcast pay us a visit.  Jim has known Lance for going on 20 years and The Ascertainers have looked up to T.D.D. for a while.  With four guys in the Dojio (Dojo/Studio--copyright pending), there's a little bit of cross talk and a whole lot of laughs.  What The Ascertainers lack in technical proficiency, raw talent and preparation, we make up for in fun (says me).IntroductionsWhat we like about Think Drink Disney New Newt's RecruitsInterruptions--it's what we doLaugh breakThe origin storyThe Federer of the F-bombThe Think Drink Disney format--brilliantLuke SkylimperCock KneeThe ListRadio GameFirst concertsBaby Shark vs Nyan CatStagefright outroLet's play two!Tell us what you think at:  The Ascertainers@gmail.comIf you're on Facebook, we'd love it if you liked/followed The Ascertainers or the Think Drink Disney Community pages (preferably both).#ThinkDrinkDisney#Newts#DayDrink

Send us a Text Message.We spent a little more time at Newt's before recording this one--you decide for yourself if it shows....Thick glasses?Choose positivity, damn it!Have to or get to?Cheat dayIce Fishing story (a/k/a Aurora BOREalisNewt's is deliciousWhere the heck is Sara???John Cameron SwayzeMark's new neighborFake meat during LentBob MarleyEntertainersUff Da#Newts#FindSara#HeardShesOK

Send us a Text Message.We were so ready to get started that we skipped the intro.  As Ascertainers episodes go, this one is pretty close to the original recipe--50% of people won't like it.  The other half will hate it.  Enjoy!Big ShotsNewts Shoutout--Welcome to MN Ken and Renee!Is it hot out there or is it just us?The two Parris'sThink twice about lending Mark your JaguarMental spotterIt's all in good fun, Mr Browner.  Also. we'd love to have you as a guestNeal Peart's sandwichConcrete Blonde referenceRadio GameHeavy Metal Parking LotKenny Rogers is legitLive Albums / ConcertsAlbum ArtNo overweight people at WoodstockShout out Pat K and Charlie#Newt's#SpecialGuestJoeyBrowner#ThunderclapNewmanTell us what's on your mind at TheAscertainers@gmail.com

Send us a Text Message.After teasing 1973 as a topic last episode, we decided to actually tackle it this week and stuck with the plan.  1973--come for the easy listening, stay for the easier listening.  This one was challenging to spice up.Knee JobNewt's you say?SymbiosisWho bites gum?Paging our German listener1973--The rise of Heavy Music?  Kind of.Mark's guy Eric/Tommy BolinMick Jagger helped record WHICH Carly Simon hit?Mark transitioned in 1973Shout out sister KarenMark's shitty portable radio# NewtsTell us what you think at TheAscertainers@gmail.com

Send us a Text Message.Well, we finally did it--we went the whole episode without talking about our topic-- which does get mentioned in the episode, but since we didn't cover it at all, we don't want to further mislead by using it in the episode title.  One way to look at this is that it's like a choose your own adventure.  Another way is to question the (lack of) motivation by these hosts.  COME ON GUYS (man, that seems like it could use a comma or something)Digital WorldPhlegmrod Johnson1973 music was a tad mellowJeremy and Mandy from Newt'sNacho aspirationsIs Dream Theater the 4th Horseman of the Prog-opalypse?Chuck spin regretRadio GameErrors & OmissionsStay PositiveRed beer and adviceFred SmootAaaaand, we're out of time--goodnight!#Newt's#WeTriedKindatheascertainers@gmail.com

Send us a Text Message.It's been brought to our attention that we maybe not mention a topic in the title of the episode since we only get to the topic with about 11 minutes left (margin of error +/-1 minute).   Hey, at least we're consistent--and this one is NO different.  We make up for it with extensive inaccurate rumors about former MN Vikings All Pro Safety, Joey Browner.  It doesn't get much better than that!Seasoned professionalsNewt's.  Apple Valley MN.  Squirrel!Mark's laptop panicBack to Newt'sBird Island Lake Lillian (IYKYK)Coversation forensicsRadio GameBowie, Iman and Joey BrownerDr Michael HfuhruhurrAndrew McCarthy--just how?1977 Music continuedSo, as you can plainly see, we aren't very good at the whole topic thing.  Hope you liked the Browner talk though.  We could corner the coveted Joey Browner demographic.  Also, If Mr Browner hears this--do you want to be a guest?  Open invite!#Newt's#Baldy'sTailgate