This week's Decent Human Being is author Shelly Edwards Jorgensen. Her story is about her mother's murder. Other topics include alcoholism, domestic violence, sexual assault, and arson. You can buy her memoir on Amazon.com.  Shelly knew trouble was brewing. Her dad was a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde alcoholic, and on this day he was preparing dinner and drinking Manhattans in his robe when he should have been getting ready for work. She ran interference when her mom came home from work earlier than expected, but that wasn't enough to save her life. Shelly's dad was a lot of things. He was smart, successful, and charismatic, and she remembers times when he was a fun and loving dad. He was also an alcoholic, an abuser, and after this night, a murderer. He'd been threatening to kill the family and burn the house down since she was at least 6 years old, so when her neighbor picked her and her sister up from basketball practice and told them there'd been a fire, they both knew.  Shelly spent the next two-and-a-half years living with a murderer. The initial autopsy said that her mother died of natural causes, but he was eventually arrested and she had to testify against him at trial. It was not ideal. After years of healing aided by therapy and her faith, Shelly wrote her memoir, Beautiful Ashes .  More From ShellyRead Shelly's blogFollow on FacebookListen to her other interviewsMentioned in This EpisodePopeyes spicy chicken sandwichWendy's biscuits and gravyFollow our socials: Instagram: @positivelyterribleFacebook: @positivelyterrible Wanna Tell a fucked up story or be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send us an email at podcast@positivelyterrible.com Creators & GuestsShelly Edwards Jorgensen - Guest

This week's Decent Fucking Human is Michelle. Her fucked up story is about growing up with a learning disability called dyscalculia. Other topics include bullying, shame, limited hand dexterity, and visual perception issues.  Michelle is a smart woman. That will become clear as you listen to the episode, but I need to say it because people with learning disabilities don't always get the benefit of the doubt. There were times when Michelle was told that she had a limited ceiling because she had dyscalculia, but all of those people were eventually proved wrong. Those people are what we sometimes call haters, and Michelle had no time for them.Michelle's life wasn't always easy, but I don't think that's what this episode is about. She was a misfit who was bullied, she struggled at school, and she had the haters I mentioned earlier, but she also had adults who did the right things for her. She was able to get assessed for a learning disability early, and her parents who did everything they could to support her.   More From MichelleRead Michelle's blogFollow Michelle on FacebookCheck out the other Podcast appearancesMentioned in This EpisodeThe TaxpayersScott's Dog BolognaMortified podcastFollow our socials: Instagram: @positivelyterribleFacebook: @positivelyterrible Wanna Tell a fucked up story or be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send us an email at podcast@positivelyterrible.comCreators & GuestsMichelle Steiner - Guest

This week's Decent Fucking Human is Paula. Her fucked up story is about being raised by a toxic mother who tried to murder her as an infant. Other topics in this episode include narcissistic abuse, alcoholism, and anxiety.  Paula's mother tried to kill her. She was only 3 months old the first time it happened, and five months old the second. It's taken her a lifetime to piece together and process what happened, and there are still friends, family, and acquaintances who don't believe her story. It's not surprising that people don't want to believe her. Mothers hold a special place in society, and many want to believe that even the most flawed ones are well-intentioned. They're often given the benefit of the doubt, and abuse is overlooked until either charges are filed or the funeral is scheduled. What makes Paula's story more complicated is that the only proof she has is her memory. It's hard to believe that anyone can remember anything from such a young age, but there is growing evidence that infants can remember traumatic events. Even if you're skeptical, I'd encourage you to reserve judgment and have a listen. There's still a story here about a woman who was raised by a toxic mother and has done a whole lot of work to heal.  More From PaulaSoft Skill Strategy Courses: softskillstrategycourses.comMore on DISC and behavioral styles: smilessparksuccess.comSoft Skills Facebook groupFollow our socials: Instagram: @positivelyterribleFacebook: @positivelyterrible Wanna Tell a fucked up story or be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send an email to podcast@positivelyterrible.comCreators & GuestsTerrible Scott - HostProducer Dan - HostPaula Kramer - Guest

Warning: Producer Dan couldn’t make it to this episode, so please don’t turn it off when you hear Scott's voice first. Also, note that this is not our usual format - it's our first update interview. The updates are nothing but positive, but we revisit parts of Amy's story about her broken neck and sheared brain stem, and we also talk about the suicidal thoughts she was having at that time. Amy's book Finding My Hero Within: A Journey from Incapacitation to Empowerment is out now. Dan and I first became acquainted with Amy in August 2023 when we interviewed her for our 17th episode, I Laid in Bed 23 Hours a Day for a Year. The episode was about the catastrophic injuries she experienced when she fell at home. Amy didn’t know it at the time, but she’d later learn she sheared her brainstem, and she lives with a broken neck to this day. Amy’s episode was one of the first that made me think Positively Terrible could be something special. She was a great guest with a powerful story, and I had no idea why she trusted us enough to share with us idiots.  She was one of the first guests we booked who wasn’t a friend, family, or a friend of a friend. I immediately knew she was a great guest, but I didn’t realize Amy would become a special friend of the Podcast. We’ve followed Amy as she's continued her journey, and we never go too long without hearing from her. Considering how much we appreciate Amy, we quickly agreed when she approached us to record an update. This one is a little lighter on the trauma aspect, though she does tell us about the fancy new plate in her neck. This one is more about a life achievement she wanted to share – she published a book! It's called Finding My Hero Within: A Journey from Incapacitation to Empowerment, and it's being released for the 10th anniversary of her accident.  Creators & GuestsAmy Thurman - Guest

This week's Decent Fucking Human is Simon Rinne. His fucked up story is about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Other topics in this episode include alcohol abuse, parental divorce, anxiety, masculinity, and a very professional intro.  Simon suffered from undiagnosed obsessive-compulsive disorder for 20 years before he learned what it was or that he had it. It started when he was eight and a schoolmate told him that he'd lose his voice forever if he went more than a minute without using it. It would have been a harmless 8-year-old kind of prank for most of us, but for Simon it triggered his first obsession and compulsion cycle. He started humming constantly to make sure he didn't lose his voice. Simon was raised the way a lot of boys were in the 80s and 90s. He watched WCW (that's wrassling for those of you who don't know), was expected to be tough and strong, and knew it was an insult to be told he did something like a girl. He wasn't encouraged to discuss or seek help for his mental health, so he just sucked it up and did what men do - he suppressed his feelings with alcohol.The OCD Simon has is the clinical sort. It's the type that is disruptive, if not disabling. The people who say they're OCD because they check the locks an extra time before going to bed are not OCD - they're just using lazy language. Simon's compulsions made his life more difficult and were something that required treatment. He got that treatment and is now using his experiences to help others. I've got so much more to say about this interview, but just play the damn episode. Simon tells the story so much better than I do...More From SimonGet in touch with SimonJoin the Mindful Men Facebook CommunityFollow on TikTokListen to his podcast wherever you get podcasts (Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Youtube)Mentioned in This EpisodeFree online ordination with Universal Life ChurchFix a leaky P-trapScott's dog BolognaWorld Championship Wrestling (WCW)Follow our socials: Instagram: @positivelyterribleFacebook: @positivelyterrible Wanna Tell a fucked up story or be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send us an email at podcast@positivelyterrible.comCreators & GuestsTerrible Scott - HostProducer Dan - HostSimon Rinne - Guest

This week's Decent Fucking Human is Kelli Murbach. Her fucked up story is about quiet trauma. Other topics include chronic illness, loneliness, and depression. Kelli’s childhood was filled with what she described as quiet trauma. She wasn’t abused, nor did she find herself on death’s door at any point, but her upbringing was less than ideal. When she was three her little brother was born with a chronic illness that he was not expected to survive. The good news is he’s in his 40s and has grown up to be a proper smart-ass, but the bad news is that her family’s priorities shifted with his arrival. They had to for his sake, but it was at the expense of her childhood. I hope this doesn’t read as if Kelli came on to tell a sob story filled with resentment. She didn’t. The story she told was that of parents who were thrown a curveball, and they adjusted the best they could. The most impressive part of Kelli’s story is how much effort she has put into making her life what she wants it to be. She’s looked everywhere to fit in and find acceptance, and when one thing didn’t work, she moved on to the next until she found the right path. More From KelliSchedule a call with the Secular ShepherdessRead her blog Notes Along the Way Mentioned in This EpisodeChewy Grain Free Chicken Jerky for dogs (no they didn't pay us for this, but we'd be happy to take their money) Follow our socials:Instagram: @positivelyterribleFacebook: @positivelyterribleWanna Tell a fucked up story or be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send us an email at podcast@positivelyterrible.comCreators & GuestsKelli Murbach - GuestTerrible Scott - HostProducer Dan - Host

This week's Decent Fucking Human is Katrina Lelli. Her fucked up story is about alcoholism. Other topics include bipolar depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts/ideation. Katrina was a good girl as a teenager. She grew up in an alcoholic home and was forced to be the adult in the house after her father walked out on the family on the day after Christmas when she was a young teen. That might be when taking care of others became part of her identity. She managed to mostly stay out of trouble as a teen, but when she turned 21 and could legally consume alcohol, things changed. Her drinking became a problem, and she eventually had to confront the idea that she was an alcoholic. She first realized her drinking was a problem when she was 22. That’s when she had an accident while camping that resulted in a catastrophic injury for an acquaintance and a short-lived sobriety for her. Maybe sobriety is too strong a word - it was more like a hiatus of several months until she felt like she'd learned her lesson and could drink more responsibly. Spoiler alert - she couldn’t. She continued to abuse alcohol and showed a lot of the classic signs of alcoholism. There were times when she put people she cared about in dangerous situations. There were times when it caused problems in her relationships. There were times she would try to hide it. It was clear she had a problem, but she didn't take action until her Mother-in-Law insisted on taking her out for the best burger she never had.  ****************************************************More From KatrinaGet a free guided meditation with KatrinaBuy Katrina's book You Are the MagicListen to the Just as We Are PodcastMentioned in this EpisodeWhen I Said Nobody Would Know, That Meant I Was NobodyTrash/mindless/fun/comfort TVSupernaturalJersey ShoreBig Bang TheoryRock of LoveLove After Lockup - Dan's pickFlavor of Love - Scott's pickBest gas station pizza: Casey's pizzaFollow our socials:Instagram: @positivelyterribleFacebook: @positivelyterribleWanna Tell a fucked up story or be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send us an email at podcast@positivelyterrible.com

This week's Decent Fucking Human is Bill Lee-Emery. His fucked up story is about surviving throat cancer. In 2022, Bill was diagnosed with throat cancer. He was a healthy, 70-something-year-old man who up until that point wouldn't even take an aspirin for a headache. He'd prioritized alternative medicine for over 40 years, so the diagnosis created tougher questions for him than it would for many. He wasn't the type to just say "Hey doc, what's the plan?" so he consulted with both his naturopath and physician before deciding what to do next. He opted to hit it hard and fast with chemo and radiation.   It's hard to summarize what Bill's story is about - it's not the intense fuck cancer story you hear so often (although let me just say it - fuck cancer). It's not about a prolonged illness that almost beat him. Bill's battle was relatively short. He was in touch with his body, recognized a problem, sought treatment, and beat it. All of those are things we love to celebrate here, but I think this story is about Bill being humble enough to do what needed to be done, even going to the dark side of modern medicine, to save his own life. What I love about this story - aside from Bill's delightful demeanor - is the idea of combining alternative and modern medicine. Alternative medicine sometimes gets a bad rap, and I'll admit that I'm guilty of questioning the efficacy at times. There are plenty of stories about people who lost battles with treatable diseases because they refused their doctor's recommendations. Bill even shared that he knew of two people who'd died of throat cancer after choosing not to pursue traditional treatments. What I had never considered before is how the two can work together. More From Bill: Become a Thriving After Cancer memberTake the How to Be Bulletproof from Criticism courseFollow our socials:Instagram: @positivelyterribleFacebook: @positivelyterrible

This week's Decent Fucking Human is Melanie Verstraete. Her fucked up story is about toxic relationships.  Melanie had six step-dads by the time she was 21. You might think a stable of step-dads makes for a fucked up story in itself, but that wasn't the bulk of the story here. It contributed for sure, and nobody can argue that she had a great role model for relationships, but she wasn't here to talk about a revolving door of father figures. Melanie was here to talk about the toxic relationships in her life, and how her second divorce led to an epiphany that helped her break her cycle. Her first husband had "all the red flags," but as she put it, she had to learn the hard way. It was when her second marriage ended that she realized a hard truth. She might have had two less-than-stellar husbands, but she was the one who went ahead and married them. She asked herself, "what the fuck is wrong with you that you keep choosing and marrying these toxic men?" It wasn't self-loathing as much as it was an aha moment, but she still felt broken. Here's where we backtrack a little. There was a pretty shitty step-dad during her teen years. I said her story is not about the step-dads, but when you're getting into your earliest relationships at a time when your mom is with a man who is emotionally abusing you, you're probably not learning the best lessons. Sometimes the not-so-fun lessons are the ones you learn the most from, and Melanie learned a lot from her failed relationships. She's now using those lessons to help others as a love and relationship expert at The Wild Heart Life.More From Melanie:Submit an application for a 1:1 MentorshipSign up for The Portal to Power CoupleFollow on Facebook or Instagram Please remember to rate, review, subscribe, share and all the other dumb shit creators are always telling you to do. I hate to ask, but it helps more than you know. Follow Our Socials:Instagram: @positivelyterribleFacebook: @positivelyterribleWanna Tell a fucked up story or be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send us an email at podcast@positivelyterrible.comCreators & GuestsTerrible Scott - HostProducer Dan - HostMelanie Verstraete - Guest

This week's Decent Fucking Human is Tonje Wyn-Jones. Her fucked up story is about the death of her 18-month old daughter from SIDS. Tonje was on a business trip when she got “the call no mother wants to get.” It was her brother, and all he would say is that she had to come home. She hung up and called her husband, and he told her their 18-month old daughter had died unexpectedly overnight. She had to get home. She was in another part of the country, she was alone, and she had to get home. It was the only thing she could do, and it wasn’t as easy as just going home. She was hours away from the airport, and once there, she had to figure out how to get a flight. It was there when she was desperately trying to get home that she heard herself say “my daughter just died.” More From Tonje: Download 7 Easy Steps To Supporting Loved Ones In GriefBook Tonje for a speaking engagement or podcastTake the Grief Untangled courseMentioned in This Episode: Casey’s General Store: The Pizza at This Midwestern Gas Station Chain Has a Cult FollowingFollow our socials:Instagram: @positivelyterribleFacebook: @positivelyterribleWanna Tell a fucked up story or be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send us an email at podcast@positivelyterrible.comCreators & GuestsTerrible Scott - HostProducer Dan - HostTonje Wyn-Jones - Guest

This week's Decent Fucking Human is Lisa Marie. Her fucked up story includes compound grief, life-changing deaths, death from disease, death from cancer, and death from an accident. You can probably tell by the title, but Lisa had a rough couple of years. Rough is probably selling it short – maybe I should call it a fucked-up couple of years. It started with the death of her niece, which while not ideal, was not entirely unexpected. She’d been in and out of the hospital for her entire life, and it wasn’t a given that she’d live into her thirties like she did. A week later, before she could really grieve her loss, she learned that her father had a cancerous brain tumor. He died 7 months later…then 14 months later her mom died…then 2 months after that her son-in-law died...and in between that 8 other people died. Like I said, it was a fucked-up couple of years. There were times during those two years when it wasn’t even about who to grieve, but what to grieve. Her dad gradually lost his physical abilities before he passed away. Her daughter’s life was no longer the same. She had thousands of losses during that time, not just the twelve people who passed. Lisa is a Decent Fucking Human, and Lisa is experienced in grief. You could probably guess what comes next. She's taken her expertise and used it to help others. She's now a life coach, inspirational speaker, podcaster, and author. You know what they say, when life gives you obscene amounts of death in a short period of time, make lemonade. I think that's how it goes...********************Book a consultation on her website and get her eBook How to Support a Loved One Who is Grieving by signing up for her emails.   Listen to her podcast and other speaking engagements. See everywhere else you can find her on her Linktree. Mentioned in This Episode: David Kessler: Your grief is the worst grief. Aly Bird: Author of Grief Ally, and Decent Fucking HumanFollow our socials:Instagram: @positivelyterribleFacebook: @positivelyterribleWanna Tell a fucked up story or be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send us an email at podcast@positivelyterrible.comCreators & GuestsTerrible Scott - HostProducer Dan - HostLisa Marie - Guest

This week's Decent Fucking Human is Julie. Her fucked up story includes infidelity, depression, job loss, gas-lighting, and her (now ex-) husband fathering a child with another woman during their marriage. When Julie met her now ex-husband, she was smitten.  He wasn't her normal type - she described him as a big, burly goth guy with painted nails and long hair - but Julie didn't judge him on his style. He treated her well at first, and that's what matters, right? It makes sense that they moved to St. Louis together when she got a new job. And of course they got married - that's what you do next. She had no idea that he'd made out with a woman AT THEIR FUCKING WEDDING, and didn't know he'd fathered a child with a different woman. Even so, she tried to make it work. Relationships are complicated. Their move to St. Louis was rough for him and he began to struggle. It didn't work out there for a lot of reasons, and moving back across the state didn't immediately relieve their problems either. He was depressed and Julie was unemployed, and they were both waiting for life to work itself out for their marriage to get back on track. That's still not an excuse to do the things that shit-heads do. That never happened. One day Julie called her husband at work and confronted him about his suspected infidelity. He admitted to not only getting his girlfriend pregnant, but that's also the day she learned that this woman had already given birth to her husband's son. They kept it secret for a while because they needed to figure out what their next steps were, and finally decided to try to make it work. That's when they shared the news with her mother-in-law, and she was thrilled. Her husband, his girlfriend, their child, and grandma all had a nice little family without her, all while she thought they were still trying to make it work. ****************Book a free 15-minute chat with Julie here.  Mentioned in this episode: The Skee League - Adult skeeball league in ChicagoNecessarily Verbose - Scott's blogFollow our socials:Instagram: @positivelyterribleFacebook: @positivelyterribleWanna Tell a fucked up story or be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send us an email at podcast@positivelyterrible.comCreators & GuestsTerrible Scott - HostProducer Dan - HostJulie Long - Guest

This week's Decent Fucking Human is Jackie. Her fucked up story includes growing up in poverty, sexual abuse, teen pregnancy, alcoholism, drug use, (barely) surviving a house fire, and the murder of her oldest son. Jackie was one of those kids you'd say never had a chance. She was born into poverty, was sexually abused by multiple adults, and started smoking and drinking before she was old enough to drive. There was so much trauma packed into her young life that just surviving was an accomplishment.   She says she wasn't always a Decent Fucking Human. She was wild and charismatic - two things that can get any kid in trouble. She was the kid who convinced her friends to run away in 4th grade when they got caught smoking. Their adventure was ended pretty quickly by a fence and a mother (not hers), but she found herself on her own at 14 when she could no longer handle the sexual abuse at home.  That's the way Jackie tells her story. She sprinkles in humor before breaking your heart, and then she makes you laugh again. You're going to laugh a lot listening to this one. I'm not going to take you through the twists and turns of Jackie's story because I can't even begin to do it justice - she's the charismatic one after all. There is one last thing I need to tell you though. On December 16, 2022, Jackie's oldest son was murdered by his ex. I can't let you press play without mentioning this. Keep it in mind when you hear the way she talks about her life and her sobriety today. This woman has been to hell and back, and then to hell again, and she still wakes up every day and chooses sobriety.  ****************Get your copy of Divine Love and read Jackie's chapter titled The Longest Uber Ride to learn about Jackie's experience in rehab and how her non-profit Transforming Tumbleweeds came into existence.  https://www.facebook.com/transformingtumbleweedsCreators & GuestsTerrible Scott - HostProducer Dan - HostJacqualine Suzanne - Guest

This week's Decent Fucking Human is Heidi Johnson. Her fucked up story took place in the school library during the Columbine massacre. Topics in this episode include murder, school shootings, and suicide.  On April 20, 1999, two students walked into Columbine High School and changed this country forever. They murdered thirteen people - including 12 students and a teacher - and wounded twenty-one others. Ten of the victims who lost their lives were in the library. So was Heidi. Heidi was a sophomore with sophomore problems. She was going through a weird friend transition and liked to spend her lunch in the library. She had a great view of the mountains from the library and enjoyed the solitude. When she heard a commotion outside, she brushed it off. It was senior prank season, and during those days nobody expected a mass shooting at a school. Even after a teacher ran into the library yelling about a kid getting shot and telling everyone to get under a table, she still couldn’t comprehend what was happening.From her vantage point, she could see the shooters enter the library. It was almost cinematic. It was dark and smokey, and she could see shells falling to the floor. She heard them talk about the bombs they were planning to detonate, and heard them telling everyone that they didn’t need to worry because they’d all be dead soon. Too many did die, but Heidi was not one of them. Heidi is an incredible woman, a survivor, and a Decent Fucking Human. Go ahead and give this one a listen.Follow our socials:Instagram: @positivelyterribleFacebook: @positivelyterribleWanna Tell a fucked up story or be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send us an email at podcast@positivelyterrible.comCreators & GuestsTerrible Scott - HostProducer Dan - HostHeidi Johnson - Guest

This week's Decent Fucking Human is Jorge V Gonzalez. His fucked up story started when he suffered a life-altering back injury at work. Topics in this episode include debilitating physical injury, job loss, depression, and suicidal ideation. Jorge’s career in Warehouse Logistics started when he was 19. He’d realized he either had to find a decent gig or else he’d need to find two less-than-decent ones, so he decided to apply where his cousin worked. Not only was it full-time, but it came with overtime. It was perfect for a hungry kid like Jorge, and he turned it into a career on his first try. It probably would have been his career right up until he decided he’d rather spend his days on the beach than at work, but a devastating back injury decided to show up and alter the rest of his life. He didn’t realize it was devastating. I’m not sure he’d even have characterized it as an actual injury at first. He filled out the report, went home, and figured he’d be sore for a few days. The next day it became apparent that something wasn’t right, so he called his mom and said “let’s go to the hospital.” It turned out he had 3 herniated discs, one in his lower back, one midway up, and one in his neck. Jorge spent the next 2.5 years heavily medicated and looking for options. He finally realized he wasn’t living anymore, only existing. He was depressed and at his very lowest, and he was having suicidal thoughts when he decided he needed to do something. Jorge took control of his life again and hasn't looked back. He's now a realtor, inventor (Batting Pro) an author, a speaker, and a Decent Fucking Human. He also has a free eBook you can download called Answer the Call. Follow our socials:Instagram: @positivelyterribleFacebook: @positivelyterribleWanna Tell a fucked up story or be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send us an email at podcast@positivelyterrible.com

This week's Decent Fucking Human is Harris Eddie Hill. Their fucked up story is about overcoming trauma and helping others heal. Topics covered in this episode include self-harm, suicidal ideation, sexual trauma, family dysfunction, cancer, and ADHD.  Harris is an impressive human being. I want to get that out of the way because that’s the thought I keep coming back to when reflecting on our interview. I often forget a lot about our episodes between recording and releasing, but the thing that always sticks with me is the feeling our guests leave me with. The feelings I felt from this one were that they were very experienced in trauma and that they were a very impressive human being. While it’s never appropriate to compare traumas, Harris might have set a Positively Terrible record for the number of different traumas they discussed with us. There were multiple instances of sexual trauma resulting in simple PTSD. There was complex PTSD from family trauma. There was that time they had cancer and that other time they had physical paralysis. They’re neurodivergent, which I’d argue results in trauma from trying to fit into a society that’s designed for neurotypical brains. They also experienced suicidal ideation and self-harm. I guess what I’m saying is to get your Mental Health & Trauma Bingo card ready because we’re talking about a little of everything in this one. The thing that impresses me about Harris is their willingness to ask for help. Harris sought out help at every turn, and at every turn, the adults in the room failed them. Now Harris is the adult in the room and gets to help others at her Centre for Childhood Trauma Healing. Episode Participants:Harris Eddie Hill (they/them): GuestTerrible Scott (he/him): Co-host.Producer Dan (he/him): Co-host.Follow our socials:Instagram: @positivelyterribleFacebook: @positivelyterribleWanna Tell a fucked up story or be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send us an email at podcast@positivelyterrible.comCreators & GuestsTerrible Scott - HostProducer Dan - HostHarris Eddie Hill - Guest

This week's Decent Fucking Human is Carleigh. Her fucked up story is about living with undiagnosed bipolar disorder. This episode contains talk of self-harm and suicide. Carleigh looked like a normal kid on the outside. She might have been a tad hyper, but she did alright in school and didn't have any issues making friends. Those are the things you look for, right? Any outside observer would have thought she was a normal, middle-class kid living a normal, middle-class life. And for the most part, she probably was. Lots of kids mask their depression and anxiety from their parents, but Carleigh went so far as to plan to take her own life when she was 12. What she didn't know at the time was how rare it is for a child to reach the planning stage of suicide, and that she would later be diagnosed as having bipolar disorder.  This episode isn't about a child who tried to take her life, though we talked about her plan more than anything else. She never got that far because she had a buddy who turned out to be a Decent Fucking Human. This friend showed concern for her well-being, and she realize that there were people who cared about her and her continued existence amongst the living. She never got that far because somebody fucking cared. Remember to check in on your friends, please.  Carleigh's relationship with her dad was rocky, and that probably contributed to why nobody at home knew what was going on. He was a stubborn and angry man back then, and I can't imagine it was a safe place to share personal struggles and be vulnerable. She didn't say that, but I think that's just one of many reasons teenagers find themselves masking their depression at home. They want to appear normal, even though most don't feel like they are, and they don't want to upset/bother/disappoint their parents. It's easier to hide it.  Carleigh's dad was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder. His mental health journey was moving full speed ahead, which was great, but she was terrified that she'd be diagnosed as well. A few years later she had her first (and only as of the time of recording) manic episode, and was self-aware enough to know what was going on and went to the hospital for help. Carleigh has not had a repeat episode of mania, has a much better relationship with her father, and is managing her mental health without the use of pharmaceuticals. She helps others do the same as a Holistic Mental Wellness coach. Check out the free guide she's giving away over on her website, and maybe just give her a follow on the 'gram or whatever.  Episode ParticipantsHosts: Producer Dan and Terrible ScottGuest: Carleigh (Mental Wellness Coach)Follow our socials:Instagram: @positivelyterrible Facebook: @positivelyterrible Wanna Tell a fucked up story or be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send us an email at podcast@positivelyterrible.comCreators & GuestsTerrible Scott - HostProducer Dan - HostCarleigh - Guest

This week's Decent Fucking Human is Uncle Satan. His fucked up story is about anxiety and teenage drug/alcohol abuse. I'm having a hard time not naming this episode Uncle Satan, the Punk Rock Archaeologist. That feels a little too click-baity for me, even if those words contain no lies. We did interview an Uncle Satan, he is an archeologist who came up in the punk crowd, and he does suffer from anxiety. See? All true. But the real story here is the anxiety, with a little bit of teenage addiction sprinkled in. The anxiety started early. Uncle Satan's parents divorced when he was young, and that fucked things up in the ways divorces sometimes do. First was the custody battle, and then his parents found new relationships. Those aren't situations that kids plan to find themselves in. Most don't have the coping skills to handle that without help. His preferred help was to start drinking and doing drugs. By the time he was told he was dropping out of high school (yes told), he was a daily drinker.  So now we're at Uncle Satan, the (Anxious/Alcohol-addicted) Punk Rock Archeologist/High School Dropout. Guess what Uncle Satan did then? He got his shit together. He got sober and got a high school diploma, went to college, went to more college, and continued to do still more college. He's an archeologist now, doing all kinds of archaeologist things. We didn't get too deep into what being an archaeologist entails, but one can only assume it includes things like raiding lost arks and doing final crusades (before crusading some more a couple of decades later). It's basically all of the boring stuff archaeologists strive to leave behind when they finally land a sweet office job or something. It's not a bad gig though.  That doesn't mean all was well. The anxiety he was treating with alcohol back in high school didn't magically disappear, and since he's a Decent Fucking Human - not a Perfect Fucking Human -  he fucked up. I'm not going to go into the details since he covers them in the episode, but I will point out that he's the one who used the word creep to describe how he acted toward a friend and colleague with whom he desired a romantic relationship. The consequences and shame got so bad that he contemplated taking his life over all of the fallout within his friend group. Instead of following through with his suicidal thoughts, he decided to learn and grow from his actions, and aimed to understand why he did the things he did. And that Terrible Listeners, is how he became the man known as Uncle Satan, the (Anxious/Alcohol-addicted)Punk Rock Archaeologist/High School Dropout/Decent Fucking Human.  Follow our socials:Instagram: @positivelyterribleFacebook: @positivelyterribleWanna Tell a fucked up story or be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send us an email at podcast@positivelyterrible.com

This week's Decent Fucking Human is Marie Miller. Her fucked up story is about emotional abuse and non-consensual kink. Marie is a fascinating woman. She’s been part of a backyard circus where she learned to do the Russian Ladder trick, performed blacklight theater in a Lovecraft piece, and did a hell of a lot of other cool things that Dan and I would have loved to explore further. We kinda had to address her trauma though, because she wasn’t here to talk about the fun stuff. She was here to talk about overcoming trauma, and Marie’s trauma was her experience with non-consensual kink and the emotional abuse she suffered during her marriage. Maybe she’ll come back and host a podcast on the network and we’ll get all her stories later (Marie, hit us up). Marie met her now ex at 24 and thought he was a “condescending asshole.” Naturally, that meant she should cast him as the lead in a production she was working on, fall in love, and move to Australia with him in short order. All of that sounds pretty cool and probably happened because she wasn’t in a great place in life. She’d recently been assaulted and was very vulnerable. When they moved to Australia, she didn’t have a job or support system, and didn’t even recognize that the relationship was becoming abusive. At first, the move was like a long vacation. She hiked a lot and tried to make the best of it, but it was extremely isolating. She couldn’t work because she didn’t have a work visa, and it was before the days of Zoom so it was harder to stay connected to friends and family back in the US. He didn’t necessarily invite Marie to move so she would be isolated from loved ones, but it worked out quite well for him.It was in Australia when the emotional abuse began. He’d spend hours belittling her and breaking he down. It was terrible. When they moved back to the States, the non-consensual kink began. He’d do anything he could to make her cry, and when she did, that’s when he’d initiate sex. There’s a whole lot more here, but my favorite part is when we get to the positive. Marie got out. She started dating, she started working on herself, and she started healing. Today she’s a Theta healing practitioner and owner of House of Kellen. Give her a follow on her socials (@houseofkellen) and reach out to Marie if you’re interested in learning more about Theta healing. Topics Discussed:Marie's experiences with non-consensual kinks and emotional abuse.Her journey in the theater and circus communities.The dynamics of abusive relationships and the impact on self-perception.Moving to Australia and the challenges faced there.Marie's involvement in kink communities and its relation to her personal experiences.Healing and recovery through Theta Healing and community supportEpisode Participants:Terrible Scott (Host)Producer Dan (Host)Marie Miller (Guest)Follow our socials:Instagram: @positivelyterribleFacebook: @positivelyterribleWanna Tell a fucked up story or be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send us an email at podcast@positivelyterrible.comCreators & GuestsMarie Miller - GuestTerrible Scott - HostProducer Dan - Host

This week's Decent Fucking Human is  Christine Errico. Christine was born with a cleft lip and palate. Her first of many surgeries was when she was only two months old. She detailed the bullying and discrimination she faced in various stages of her life, including in the workplace.Notable Quotes:Christine Errico: "I always felt broken... I just wanted to not get bullied... to be myself."Terrible Scott: "I would tell [12-year-old Christine] that we just talked on video over audio... for her to realize just how far that you've come."Episode Participants:Christine Errico (Guest)Terrible Scott (Host)Producer Dan (Producer)Mentioned Resources:Smile Train: A global organization mentioned by Christine Errico for supporting those with cleft lips and palates.Christine Errico's TED Talk: Discussed during the podcast as part of her advocacy and awareness-raising efforts.